Love For The Ladies: Chapter 61 – Once upon a Childhood – Part 4

 

 

 

 

“I just wanted to see some bare boobies but this is way much more! Can I be your boyfriend now?”

 

 

 

“Oh my stars Borage! What are you doing in here?! Get out! I’m naked!”

“I needed to pee but wow June! I like your body. Something strange is happening in my pants.”

“You little pervert! Get out!”

“Are those real?”

 

 

“Of course they are real! Now get out! I can’t believe you! Walking in here, peeking at me.”

“Your naked body made my body do something weird. I kinda like it but confused.”

“Congrats! You got your first hard on now get out!”

“Geeze, you’re no fun.”

 

 

 

I heard June fussing to my mama about me walking in as she was getting out of the shower. I didn’t tell August that I saw his mom naked but I was happy to finally see a live naked lady who was sexy. I’m not sure if I can keep this from August. He might get mad but it was an accident. I didn’t know she was in there. She forgot to lock the door anyway.

“Your pervert son came into the bathroom while I was getting out of the shower. He just stood there, looking at my naked wet body. You need to get control over your kid!”

“I know it was an accident. He’s a little boy.”

“That was no accident! That kid is a pervert! Go do something with him! He’s being a bad kid!”

 

 

“Don’t talk about my bubba like that! He didn’t mean to! May if your dumb ass would lock the door then maybe he wouldn’t walk in.”

“I watch how he looks at me. He planned this. I’m not comfortable knowing he might do it again!”

“It’s not like you have to live here and keep fucking my husband! You can just go! Get out, no one is stopping you!”

“I didn’t ask to be freed from the well. I was content staying in the well as a frog with my lover Keon. I miss him.. I can’t go back since Max freed him. I’m suppose to stay here anymore. Since Max freed me, then he must be my true love. I’m still in love with Keon.”

 

 

My mama had ever intention to only free Keon for the sake to get June to move out and stop fucking Max. Keon was drawn to my mama and quickly hopped out of the well when she called for him by name. Only a kiss from his true love will free him but since my mama is a love genie, her kiss would break it when she’s not his true love. However this was later a fatal mistake for Keon, my mama has deep regrets of it.

 

 

Keon failed to get my mama to love him and time run out since being freed. A curse was placed on him, he was turned into a zombie and one night he came across the wrong house. He frighten them, he didn’t mean any harm, they shot and killed him. But before that, he was drawn to my mama and ignored June. This was the last straw for June and she left with a broken heart. She took August and her twins with her and moved across town. Months later, my mama gave birth to Dodder and Erica. Keon wasn’t seen much since the birth.

 

 

Time when by, I got older and taller. I was a sexy 12 year old man now. I dressed a certain way, hoping it would impress the ladies. But Riverview was still full of hags.

 

 

 

I wish August was still here. It would be nice to have another boy around. My sisters still annoy me with their problems that I don’t give 2 fucks about. I had a little brother now but Dodder was just a baby and didn’t do much.

“Then she asked Ian out anyway! She knew that I liked Ian but the slut went behind my back and asked him out! Can you believe that?”

“I don’t care! Ugh! Go away! Ian is a jerk anyway.”

 

 

“I need your help.”

“How?”

“Use your magic to banish her to hell!”

“No!”

“You gotta! Daddy said it’s your job to look after us girls!”

“I’m not gonna banish your hag friend to hell cause she asked your crush out!”

“I’m telling daddy!”

“Yeah? What is he gonna do it? Ground me in an email? Go ahead!”

 

 

“IAN’S LAME!”

“HEY!”

 

 

“How dare you! Ian isn’t lame! Ian is a lot better than your lame short boyfriend Dimitri!”

“Hey don’t you talk about my boo! He’ll grow some day! I told him to drink more water anyway. You’re such a loser, Ian wouldn’t want you anyway if Ashley didn’t ask him out.”

“That’s not true! You’re just a hater cause your boyfriend sucks!”

“At least I have one!”

“You forced him!”

 

This was a daily thing, my sisters arguing over boys at our school. It was annoying having to hear about every single day. I couldn’t get away from it or hearing about girl gossip about who started their period or who stuffs their bra. Sisters are so lame.

“BOO!”

“Borage! Stop scaring me! I’m telling daddy!”

 

 

 

August would come over and he’ll bring over his younger brother September and sister October. Celsia never made October feel welcome whenever she came over. October never did shit to her but I think Celsia lashing at her over jealousy. Max plays with October, cause that’s his daughter. We just his step kids but we are step kids he doesn’t like cause he doesn’t like our dad. But I was tried of Cece of always picking on her, so I had to teach her a lesson.

 

 

 

“Hey Borage! Can I come up?”

 

 

 

“No! But you can cool down! Ha ha ha ha!”

 

 

 

 

“HEYYYYYYYYY!”

 

 

 

“You look like a wet bird! Now go fly away! Ha ha ha ha!”

 

 

 

“I hate you!”

 

 

 

It took away before I came to terms that Tequila is the closest I’ll have to a brother close to my age. Out of all of my sisters, she annoys me the least. Tequila was more of a tomboy, she prefer race cars over dolls. She acted less of a girl around the others and they hated her. I have a better relationship with her than I do with the others.

“Yo B! Can I come up? I wanna prank my idiot mom!”

 

 

I always had a good laugh at Tequila’s pranks on Rosette. Cause she always fell for it.

“Mom! I found a love letter from dad!”

 

 

“Well give me that letter you dumb brat! How many other love letters you been hiding from me?!”

 

 

 

“I got a whole bucket full!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“By the way, dad hates you!”

 

 

 

“HEY! Is there room for one more?”

 

 

 

“You know there’s always room for you up here! I can easily push one of my sister out this tree.”

 

 

 

This was the last summer that I got to see August. He delivered some news that I didn’t see coming.

“Were moving next month.”

“To a better house?”

“Yeah. Well I hope so.”

“I hope so then I’ll come over.”

“But you can’t…”

“What do you I can’t come over to your new house?”

“Cause we’re moving to Roland Heights.”

“But that’s far away from here..”

“I know, my mom got a job there so we gotta leave.”

We kept in touch as much as we could. Through email, IMs, Simbook and by phone. But after a while, we grew apart. I heard from him since we were teens. Max made trips to Roland Heights but refused to take me along. I wonder if he’s still there.

 

 

We remained in lame Riverview, living our lives until we were old enough to live on our own. Finn was doing well with his singing career here. He gained a gig at a local park but the promotion for the show was terrible. No one showed up. It was just us. We were forced to listen to Finn sing terribly.

 

 

Celsia and I got along better whenever we had to attend Finn’s gigs. We would crack jokes about his singing. Insulting Finn’s lack of talent was a bonding experience for us. But it didn’t change the fact that she annoys the hell out of me.

 

 

 

“When I was a young boy, growing up in the ghetto. Hanging out on corners. Singin’ with the fellas.”

 

 

 

“How did you did this gig? Your singing sucks! You never lived in the ghetto! Mom said you were a rich white boy living in the suburbs!”

 

 

 

“Ugh! Don’t start twerkin’! Didn’t you learn anything from Twerk City 3? Every time a white person twerks, they’ll get hit by a Newsea teddy bear with riding a wrecking ball! Just stop! You’re embarrassing!”

 

 

*********

 

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Party Montigo: Chapter 17, Fairly Odd Parents

“I’m feeling good today.  I think I’ll turn into my doll form for fun.”

 

 

 

 

“Taco, are you stressed out? You’re in your doll form.”

“No! I don’t need to be stressed to be this way!”

“Okay.. I was just-“

“I was born this way!”

“I know I was just say-“

“Don’t judge me you evil meat eater!”

“Taco.. Wha-“

“You are evil! Animals having feelings!”

 

 

 

“What is going on with our sister?”

“I dunno but it’s hard to believe were twins. How come us 2 are the only ones who are normal?”

“Perhaps the crazy gene ran out when it got to us.”

“Down with you meat eaters! Down with evil fairies! You are killing my beloved friends!”

“What on earth is Taco ranting about now?”

“Not sure, GL. I say we should just ignore her.”

“Ignore our sister? That would be rude. I cannot do no such thing. We must help her.”

“Seriously.. There’s no hope in this family.”

“How would you like it if I ate your friends? You wouldn’t like it so stop eating mines!”

 

 

 

 

“BLEH!”

“AAAAHHHH!”

 

 

 

 

“Why in the hell you did that for?!”

“I dunno.. just cause.”

“Stop it! You’re not evil! You have no right!”

“Huh? I can scare people if I want to. Who made you queen?”

“My lord and savior Satan!”

“I think you ARE Satan!”

 

 

 

 

“rose check out this pic of liam & his new grl. he done with u. lol”

 

 

 

 

“Blasphemy! You photoshopped this!”

 

 

 

 

 

“Is that a rave in the sky? I didn’t know that Rave Heaven was real. I better get my glow sticks so I can get my PLUR on.”

 

 

 

 

 

“WAIT! I DIDN’T GET MY GLOW STICKS! HOW AM I GONNA GET MY PLUR ON?”

 

 

 

 

“That rave sucked. Glow sticks are not  suppose to go up my ass and their music sucked. I think it was Dubstep. Worse rave ever.”

 

 

 

 

 

“I hope this isn’t pee.”

 

 

 

 

 

“What did I come down here for? Punch the baby? Well that’s just rude. I’m not punching the baby, talking fish tank.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Can you say puppy, for great-grandmama?”

“I speak for Satan.”

“What? What on earth is your mother teaching you?”

” I be evil for Satan.”

“No, Dazzle. You be good for great-grandmama.”

“No! I be evil!”

“Dazzle, being evil is bad. You have to be good, okay?”

“Dazzle evil!”

“I swear your mother isn’t allowed to have more kids like your grandmother, Rose.”

“Sister!”

“No, Rosette is your grandmother. I see I have a lot of bad to undo.”

 

 

 

 

 

“How is our baby doing?”

“She’s fine but I’m thinking we should of waited before having another baby.”

“Why?”

“Dazzle. His mother and grandmother are corrupting the poor child. He talks about being evil for Satan and thinks Rose is his sister.”

“It would only be 2 kids we’ll be looking after. It wouldn’t be so hard.”

“True but you’re forgetting about the teen girls. Taco is starting to get nutty and Fiona is acting like a rebel. I think it’s time we send the girls to boarding school. They don’t need to be around their mothers and older siblings.”

“Okay, maybe boarding school would be good for them.”

 

 

 

 

“Look up, you’ll see snow.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

 

 

 

 

“Aaahhh! I’m cold!”

“Ha ha ha ha! Told ya!”

 

 

 

 

“That was cool.”

“This is too easy…”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

 

 

 

“Look up, you’ll see Satan.”

“Really?”

“Sure, you gotta look up right now.”

“Okay! I wanna see Santa! I wonder if he’ll give me presents.”

“I said Satan.”

“Santa, I know. I love Santa!”

 

 

 

“I don’t see Santa.”

“Wait for it…”

 

 

 

 

“AAAAHHHH!!!!!!! I didn’t see Santa!”

“Ha ha ha ha! This is fun.”

 

 

 

 

“That was not cool, GB!”

“Don’t be lame. Fairy tricks are fun.”

“I don’t like them!”

“Wanna be a fairy? Cause I need a fairy to do evil with and GL is lame.”

“Only if I get pink wings.”

 

 

 

 

“Now which poison will turn my sis into a fairy? Hmm.. I don’t have time for this. Where are the mods?”

 

 

 

“What happen to you?”

“I do not want to talk about it.”

 

 

 

 

“Pardon me Sir OCG, may I have a moment of your time?”

“What?”

“Why are you evil?”

“Why are you gay?”

“Why must everyone assume that I am a homosexual? I can assure you that I am not. I just haven’t found the right lady yet.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“My reasons are true. I am waiting for the right lady.”

“Try looking on adamandsteve.com”

“That is a website for homosexuals looking for hook ups.”

“Exactly.”

 

 

“It is a fine afternoon I must say, grandmother.”

“Yes it is, GL. My water just broke.”

“Oh dear, perhaps it’s time for everyone to come outside to panicked over your labor?”

“It is that time.”

“I will call the others out.”

 

 

 

“OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!”

 

 

 

 

 

“Welcome home, Zarah Elise Montigo.”

 

 

 

 

“Hey stupid! I got something for you.”

“Did you just throw fairy crack at me?”

“Yeah.”

 

 

 

 

“Muhahahaha! I now have a new solider for Satan!”

“We work for Santa now? Are we going to be elves and make toys?”

“Oh gosh you are a idiot!”

 

 

 

“Can I meet Santa now?”

“Soon. I have to gather more minions for our lord before we can meet him.”

“How can I help?”

“Bring your dad into town. I need his seed.”

“My dad has seeds like a tree?”

“Uhh.. yeah. He has a seed that I need.”

“Were gonna grow a tree? What kind of tree?”

“A special fairy tree, now call your dad.”

Party Montigo: Chapter 16, Baby Talk

“At last, peace and quiet. I think our daughters blacked out with their excessive drinking. I think we should be a ban of alcohol in this house.”

“No Gen, I mean I like to have a drink time to time. We could just limit it, not take it away. They would just leave to drink somewhere else and get into trouble. Such as driving drunk. I rather the girls drink at home than some bar.”

“I guess you are right. The only time this house is quiet is after they drank until passing out. However drinking like that is not good. Maybe we should send them to rehab?”

“Rehab wouldn’t take them, especially Rosebud. Gen, they are fine. I’ve done some blood work on the others and they are fine.” 

“Sometimes I forget you were once a doctor.”

“I do miss working in the medical field. But I think with me being 150 years old, I should retire ha ha ha.”

“Do you ever regret me extending your life, causing you to out live your love ones?”

“No but I do miss them. I’m happy living long with you, Gen.”

 

 

 

“I always wonder about it. I felt it was a selfish act on my part. I just couldn’t bare watching you age and pass on. It was always a old rule from my Navoxn tribe to never fall in love with a human. But we learned to extend lifelines however they would out live their human families.”

“I’m glad you did Gen. On the bright side, I get to see many generations of grandchildren. But I always wonder about something.”

“What’s that?”

“I figure since I would live long… Maybe we would have more kids?”

“More kids? I thought we agreed with 3 we had plus Rosette was enough.”

“At the time… But I kinda want more.”

“I don’t know about this..”

 

 

 

“Gen, we can finally give the little sister Zin always wanted.”

“She has Rosette.”

“A clone of herself, Gen. I’m talking about actual sister.”

“But we raised them as sisters..”

“I know but deep down inside, Zin doesn’t feel that Rose is a real sister. She’s just a living reflection of herself. Zin talked about this with me. Let’s have another child.”

 

 

 

 

“WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!”

 

 

 

 

“Where did this annoying fairy baby came from? Oh right.. Mama said you’re my grandson. I’m too sexy to be a grandma so in public, you’re little brother. Got it devil rat? If you ever call me “grandma”, I’ll toss you in the sea and you’ll be shark food.”

 

 

“Blond brat! Which one of you sluts is trying to make me old by having demon spawns like him? Is this one yours, hussy?! You trying to turn me into a old hag?!”

 

 

 

“Mommy! It’s not my baby. I’m only 13.. I’m too young to have babies! Us having babies won’t turn you old, mommy. And Dazzle is GB’s son that she had with Uncle Max.”

 

 

 

 

“I’m not taking my chances with you hookers! Stop having babies! I don’t want anymore of these creatures from hell!”

 

 

 

“You stop us from having kids, mommy! All that meat you been eating is making you crazy! Meat is BAD mommy! We shouldn’t eat meat because animals deserve to live!”

 

 

 

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about but I could go for a bacon cheeseburger with a glass of gin.”

“Mommy don’t! Don’t eat my friends!”

“Did I drop you when you were a baby? Take my brother before I drop.”

“Dazzle is your grandson.”

“I said… take MY BROTHER.”

 

 

 

“Is this your grandbaby?”

“My brother.”

“Huh? Our parents didn’t have another baby.”

“I know but I’m too sexy to be a granny so he’s my brother. Liam wouldn’t love me if I’m a old granny.”

“Liam has grandchildren, you idiot. He wouldn’t care if you had a grandbaby. Borage gave me grandkids and I’m still sexy. I love my g-babies. I’m gonna meet them one day.”

“I don’t care! Dazzle is my brother.  His daddy is Max.. so Dazzle is like your step-son or something.”

“Wut?”

 

 

 

“Is Dazzle your nephew-son?!”

“Yeah.. I fucked GB. So what?!”

“That’s your niece, you sick fuck!”

“GB isn’t my real niece! She’s not blood related!”

“That doesn’t matter! It’s still nasty!”

 

 

 

“You can’t talk about being nasty when your Liam twins are cousin-siblings with Rose’s Liam triplets!”

“He didn’t know he slept with us both!”

“Well didn’t you sluts have more babies with him?”

“We had a deal!”

“A deal to cheat on me again?!”

“You cheated on me with my niece!”

“Yeah.. so? What you gonna do about it?”

 

 

 

“Divorce you. I told you the rules.. Only I can do the cheating while you be the faithful on in this marriage. One of us have to be faithful and it’s not gonna be me.”

 

 

 

 

“Divorce? No! Don’t do that! I’m sorry.. I’ll be good. I’ll stop cheating and let you do that.”

 

 

 

 

“Good, cause this marriage won’t work if were both cheating.”

 

 

 

 

“Where’s your mom? I don’t wanna watch you. You smell like shit and I ain’t changing no shitty diapers. You gonna have to stay in your shit until you learn how to use a potty. Got it, brat?”

“Bah!”

“Good.”

 

 

 

“Hello kids, I have some wonderful news to share. Gen are trying to have another baby.”

“Dad? Really?”

“Yes, Zirobi. We decided to have another baby.”

“Aren’t you both like old and stuff?”

“Age wise, yes Tini but we are young health wise to have another child.”

“That is fantastic news, grandfather. Children are a wonderful blessings from above. I cannot wait for the day when I met a lovely lady whom I shall marry and have little blessings of my own.”

“2 men can’t have babies together unless you marry a boy alien, GL.”

‘Dear sister, why do you and the rest insist that I am a homosexual?”

“You talk gay.”

“I do no such thing. How does a homosexual sound like?”

“Like that.”

 

 

 

“If you’re gonna start shooting out fairy brats out your cooch hole, start looking after them!”

“Don’t tell me what to do! I do what I want.”

“Yeah? Allowing your son to wonder off into the street?”

“My mom was watching him.. Besides, Dazzle has wings. He can fly away from cars.”

“You let your mom watch him? No wonder! I swear you 2 don’t need to have many kids!”

“Oh you’re just jealous cause you keep busting a nut before putting it in. You’ll never get a baby if you keep doing that.”

“I do not have a premature ejaculation issue! Unlike the rest of your idiots, I wear a condom!”

“Like they make condoms that small!”

 

 

 

“Hello Aunt Zinnia. Do you have any wonderful news to share?”

“No.”

“Oh, so in that crystal ball is bad news?”

“I have no idea of what I’m doing.”

 

 

 

“Oh shit!”

“What is it, Aunt Zinnia? Did you see something troublesome?”

“Yes.. my bubba. Something bad is going to happen to my bubba.”

 

 

 

“Perhaps you can stop this awful thing from happening to Borage since it has appeared to you.”

“I would but I’m just gonna get drunk and forget about this vision I saw.”

 

 

 

 

“Okay Dazzle baby. It’s time for me to teach you the ways of evil since you are my warrior of evil. Are you ready baby boo?”

 

 

 

“Me good.”

 

 

 

“No Dazzle baby, you are evil not good. Remember that kid. Dazzle is evil like mommy.”

“Me be good.”

“No, you be bad and evil like mommy. You are the warrior for evil.”

“Me is good.”

“Damn it Dazzle! Mommy said you are evil. Not good. Good is bad and Bad is good.”

 

 

 

“Now I want you to repeat these words that mommy is about to say. Those other children are worthless bastards so when approaching you tell them to,  “Bow before our lord and savior Satan or feel the wrath of terrible singing by Justin Bieber.”

“……”

“Was that too much? Okay.. Just steal other brats juice boxes. You need more apple juice for evil.”

 

 

 

“I steal juice for evil?”

 

 

 

 

“Yes Dazzle baby! You steal all the juice for the name of evil!”

Camp Tigo 2 ISBI: Day 10

All I asked for was a baby and I get abducted again. Why won’t you green varmints just let me be.

 

 

 

Borage: I’m just stilling in the puddle.

Rose: Yeah right, we know that you just pissed on yourself.

Kiki: We all do, no need to be a shame of it now.

 

 

Selene: There is a man behind you.

Isela: I know. I can feel his boner.

Anson: So ya like? Eh?

 

 

Seth: That’s nasty. You just gonna pee right there?

Selene: My gosh… I am terrified by this.

Arna: You guys wouldn’t move.

Anson: We weren’t in the way.

Isela: We need another bathroom cause we are so stupid.

 

 

 

I was just in the stall… Oh dear!

 

 

 

Isela: Dude, really?

Anson: I thought you went in there to pee? Was the toilet not good enough for you?

Seth: MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Malix: Stop judging me guys!

 

 

I was going to shower but this grass feels nice. I go to sleep now.

 

 

 

 

Selene: You’re really gonna sleep next to a puddle of pee?

Isela: I regret nothing.

 

 

 

 

I am not sure about what I’m looking at.

 

 

 

Borage: WTF happen to you?

Quincy: Gettin’ mah tan on.

Borage: Well you suck at it.

 

 

 

No I don’t want no scrub. A scrub is a guy who can’t get no love from me. Hanging on the passenger side, in his best friend’s ride. Tryin’ to holler at me! ♫

 

 

 

 

Isela: Check me out! They call me DJ Disco Panties!

Seth: Should you be in the kitchen?

 

 

 

Makayla: If we close our eyes and open them, we’ll be in a magical place.

Isaiah: I swear if this doesn’t work, I’m taking your apple juice.

 

 

 

I thought this only happen at night!!!

 

 

 

 

We no tell time.

 

 

 

Borage: Well brat? You gonna talk or sit there and look dumb. I’m your master and I command that you speak at once.

Linnea: ….

 

 

 

I can talk, father but I refuse to speak at your command. I am not a puppy. I do what I want.

 

 

 

Carrie: Say spaghetti sauce, cause that’s what you look like. C’mon red baby, say spaghetti sauce!

Shawn: You look like a old tomato, vile woman!

 

 

 

 

Mikhai: How will this mirror will teach me to talk? All I can see is how sexy I am.

Bryony: EA logic, dude. I’m gonna talk so much shit when I learn.

 

 

 

I hear voices…..

 

 

 

 

Dude were talking… Can you understand us??!!

 

 

 

 

 

Thing 1: Where you going?!

Thing 2: Away from you. You cry too much.

Thing 1: I do no such thing… WAAAHHHH!!!!

 

 

 

Thing 1: Hey.. where you going? I’m not crying now.

Thing 2: I just don’t like you.

Thing 1: That hurts.. I’m going to cry.

 

 

 

Thing 1: You came back.

Thing 2: I got hungry.

Thing 1: You found food?

Thing 2: No just this stick.

 

 

 

Borage: I need for you to speak so daddy can have a drink and you go play. Speak now, brat. Daddy commands it.

Linnea: No.

 

 

 

Borage: You spoke! Daddy can have a drink now! Go away..

 

 

 

Kiki: Asshole.

Malix: Bitch… And you wonder why you don’t have friends.

 

 

 

 

Mikhai: Where did you go? You die?

Bryony: I’m right here! Open your eyes!

Mikhai: No. There’s a ghost foot behind you.

Party Montigo: Chapter 15, Where the hell you been?

Note: I did some skipping around since I had to create a new file from scratch. The original file was never backed up before my laptop was stolen. Fiona, Fajita and Taco had aged to teens. Glitter Bug gave birth to a boy named Dazzle. Zirobi, the second born child of Texas and Genesis is now living with them.  Zinnia and Rosette are returning from their time in Quest For Immorality  in Chapter 18-20.  Texas and Zion will appear different because they were lost and I had to recreate them. This story is now behind Borage’s timeline but will sync soon.

 

 

 

“With my superior intelligence, I would be able to create my dream woman in my new lab. It’s good to be back home but not good not to be woman-less virgin!”

 

 

 

 

“Okay which one of those morons tried to use this to look up porn? I regret coming back. Maybe I should of stayed on Lunar Lakes. Then again I would miss the aliens since they love to come here more.”

 

 

 

 

“You think you’re hot stuff but you ain’t. I’m going to create army of evil fairy children to destroy you.”

“You shouldn’t be allowed to breed but the only guy you could get to touch you is your pervert Uncle!”

“Max isn’t blood related! I can get other men to fuck me to make evil babies.”

“With roofies? You’re too trashy to get them when sober.”

 

 

 

 

“Whatevs. At least I fucked a human unlike you and that blow up doll.”

“I don’t have a blow up doll!”

“So a blow up doll magically appeared in your closet?”

“Why were you in my closet?!”

“That’s none of your business, Mr. Doll-Fucker.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Eww! Why do we have these gross chickens here now? I thought we couldn’t have pets unless this is our future dinner.”

 

 

 

 

 

“GB, Grandmama said if I made good grades then I could get chickens to raise. My chickens are not your future dinner! Eating meat is wrong and evil! Animals and plants are my friends.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Look here you featherly mother fucker, I don’t care what my hippy sister say but you’re dinner!”

“Oh dare you threaten me for I am OCG, the original chicken gangster. Bow before me hussy!”

“I don’t think so future dinner! I’m gonna rip off your feathers, season you up, then fry your bitch ass and it will be glorious!”

 

 

 

“Not if I destroy you first!”

“Oh bring it on, feather bitch ass!”

 

 

 

 

“I’m gonna rip off your head, chew it up and fry it in a frying pan with your young!”

“You cannot defeat the great OCG!”

“Watch me, future dinner!”

 

 

 

 

“How was that possible?”

“I told you, you cannot defeat the great OCG.”

“You used the cheats.”

“I did no such thing.”

 

 

 

“GB, stop fighting with my chickens. You’re being rude. Besides, OCG is a black belt.”

 

 

 

 

“This war ain’t over future dinner! I will train and come back to kick your feather ass and then you will be dinner for me and my army of evil fairy warrior children!”

“I shall wait. But until then,  have fun with aliens.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You shall see.”

“And you shall see my deep fryer!”

 

 

 

‘Fajita, what did you get on question 15?”

“Figure it out, I’m not going to tell you the answer.”

“C’mon! I thought if I did homework with you then you’ll give me all of the answers.”

“I will do no such thing, Fiona! You have to do your own homework.”

“Homework is lame. I wanna live if my bro Borage, his kids don’t have to do homework.”

“Yeah and they are all idiots too. We are smarter than them, you can figure out question 15.”

 

 

 

 

I’ll know what I’ll do. I’ll use my genie magic and get the answers.”

“You can’t do that! That is cheating! If Grandmama finds out then you won’t get that DJ booth that you want.”

“I can too, I can just ask my brothers. They’ll get me anyways since I’m the baby.”

“I will tell Grandmama on you.”

“You’re such a tattle tell! No wonder no ones likes you.”

“That’s not true and that’s not nice to say.”

“Just putting that out there.”

 

 

 

 

“I would doing my school work by my friends but plants can’t help me on this problem nor talk. Maybe I should get some human friends.”

 

 

 

 

“Whatcha doing, sis?”

“School work, I’m having trouble with this problem.”

“I can help.”

 

 

 

 

“Okay it say, Judy has 55 pies but Johnny took away 12 pies then Heidi gave Judy 34 more pies but Zach ate 5 and Judy baked 11 more. How many pies does Judy have now?”

“Who cares! The real problem is that this Judy girl has a weight problem. She’s gonna get the diabeetus.”

“I guess eating having a lot of pies like that would be a issue.”

“Yeah we gotta find this Judy girl and tell her to stop eating so many damn pies.”

 

 

 

 

“How on earth are we going to find her?”

“Google! Google can find anything. I found the best clinic by using google.”

“Why did you need a clinic? Are you pregnant?”

“Gonorrhea.”

 

 

 

 

“Should we write her a letter?”

“Yeah!”

“What should we say?”

“Uhhh…. Dear Judy, You fat. Stop eating some many damn pies before you get the diabeetus. We are concern.”

“That’s sounds good. We need to help Judy. Maybe I can send her a basket of my vegetables.”

“Vegetables are lame. Let’s go eat a whole cake!”

 

 

 

 

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

“Yeah, I’m a witch.”

“I know you’re a bitch but that doesn’t answer my question.”

“Why are you being rude to me?”

“Not rude, honest. It’s rude to lie.”

“Still rude.”

 

 

 

 

“Do you want to hear your fortune?”

“Yeah.”

“Aliens are coming your way.”

“The aliens pretty much live here. That’s a given.”

“Also you will fail school if you don’t do you homework.”

“You suck at this.”

“I also see pimples.”

“O.M. G.! That is terrible!”

 

 

 

“It’s your bed time sweet Dazzle. If your idiot mother would stop yelling at that chicken, she could do this herself. I do wonder where on earth your grandmother is. I must admit it’s been very peaceful since she hasn’t been here.”

 

 

 

“Darling, are you concern that we haven’t seen our daughters in about a year?”

“Well yes, Gen. Zin and Rose are adults now, they can leave as they please.”

“But for a whole year without saying where they were going? They missed their daughters’ birthdays. They just cannot waltz off when they both have responsibilities here.”

“Gen, we gotta admit that we haven’t let them be a mother to their youngest children. I guess they figure there was no reason to come back sooner.”

“You saw how their older children turned out, especially Zinnia’s baby making son. Greta informed me there’s 7 children there now.”

“7 kids isn’t so bad, Gen. At least it isn’t 100 kids like what Martini’s father is trying to do.”

“That’s the issue, our oldest grandson is trying to be like his father. Sleeping with any females he see and having a baby that he can’t properly care for. I have a feeling our daughters took to see that man again. Why else would the leave without telling?”

“They said something about finishing a deal.”

“Yes, to have more children by him. They don’t need anymore kids with that awful man.”

 

 

 

 

“Shit, Zin… They are waiting for us. what do we do?”

“Chill, I got this.”

“I wanna be back in Liam’s arms.”

“Yeah and with that crazy nanny who almost shot you?”

“Bitch went to jail. If I had my steel, I would of gotten her.”

“Yeah right! You got beat up by a old hag.”

“She tripped me! That was a cheap shot.”

“Whatevs, you ain’t street.”

“Am too!”

 

 

 

“Zinnia Michelle! Where in hell have you been?! Do you realize you both have been gone for a year! You missed your daughters’ birthdays!”

“Sorry mama, we didn’t mean to stay gone this long.”

“Where have you been? Answer me!”

“Liam’s, we made a promise and honored it.”

“You had more kids with that disgusting man?!”

“Yes mama.”

 

 

 

 “I told you both that you were not allowed to have more kids with that man! What he’s doing is terrible!”

“But mama, we made him a promise after I had Borage and Celsia.”

“I don’t care about your promise! You both are married women! You just can’t go and birth more kids because of a lame promise! The kids you both had with that awful man turned out terrible! Did you know your son now have 7 kids by different women?”

“I saw pics, my 7 grandbabies are beautiful like their daddy.”

 

 

 

“That doesn’t matter! You’re terrible at child raising. I am doing my best to insure Fiona doesn’t grow up like her older siblings. Borage with all his baby making and he doesn’t care nor like them, Celsia with her.. I’m not sure what she’s doing but I know it’s something terrible, Dodder with his stealing and being a womanizer, and Erica…she’s just nuts. The only child of yours that came out decent is Acacia.”

 

 

 

 

“The last time I checked mama, I’m a grown ass woman. If I want to have more kids then it’s my right. None of my kids are dead or anything. I did the best I could. My kids are happy in their lives and that’s all that matters.”

 

 

 

“Don’y you talk to me in that tone! I am still your mother! You kids may be happy with there lives but my concern are about the great-grandchildren they will be bring into the world! I cannot have another generation of idiot Navoxes! It’s a embarrassment  for my tribe!”

 

 

 

“Does this mean you don’t love my kids? I know they have their issues but I still love them. My kids don’t embarrass me.”

 

 

 

“Of course I love my grandchildren. I just wish you did better with them. I was hoping you could show me with Fiona since she was suppose to be your last chance but since you had more… Zinnia, you use to be so smart until you created her.. Maybe I should of given you a sister. Then maybe you would of never created Rosette and you would still be your genius self like your brothers.”

 

 

 

“You regret me mama? You wish I was never created? I’m hurt. If you don’t love me then send me back to Liam’s where I can be loved forever!”

 

 

 

“I try to love you as you were my own child I gave birth to but sometimes… you make it difficult! What’s with your obsession with this man? You have a husband who loves you and you chase a man who doesn’t!  Liam will never love you! You have Finn, so deal with him!”

 

 

 

“But Liam does love me.. He just doesn’t know it yet. But I will marry him one day, mama. You just wait!”

 

 

 

“Mother! You have finally returned. Oh how I missed you so much. I want to embrace with you a loving hug, dear mother.”

“Eww no! I don’t want your homo cooties on me, GL!”

“But mother, I’m merely trying to show you love and kindness. I have missed your presence around our beloved home.”

“I leave for a year and you get more gay!”

 

 

 

 

“Dear mother, I do not understand. I am your only son and you reject me as I am nothing. Mother, I was the reason why you been gone for a year? Have I done something to upset you? I am trying to be the best son for you but my act of kindness and love is usually rejected by you.”

 

 

 

 

“You ain’t my only son no more. You got a little brother with giant ears. But I don’t like you.. In fact I don’t like any of you mistakes! I should of had abortions but Zin said I couldn’t abort Liam’s and your daddy hid the car keys so I couldn’t abort you and your sisters whenever I got pregnant. I just don’t like you jerks so stop with that gay shit and get a boyfriend!”

 

 

 

 

“Those are some pretty lights. I wonder where they come from? I should tell my nerdy uncle Zirobi about this but he’s busy making a science woman in his lab. What a nerd!”

 

 

 

 

“AHHHH SHIT! IT’S THOSE DAMN ALIENS!”

 

 

 

 

 

“SOMEBODY HELP ME! I’M BEING ABDUCTED!”

 

 

 

 

“Serves that bitch right..”

 

 

 

 

“You wrong Montigo. We come back for right one.”

“You gonna send me the video of me getting freaky with you green bastards?”

“No. Will destroy it.”

“Then why even record it? I did all that kinky shit for nothing? I was gonna post it on Redtube and be famous.”

Camp Tigo 2 ISBI: Day 9

This is what I need you to do. Win the race or I will disown you. You got that, brat?

 

 

 

 

Since no one ever fed us I guess my hand will do.

 

 

 

 

I want my own baby.

 

 

 

 

Arna: You’re no match against my super vampire ping pong skills.

Anson: Oh bring it on dead boy!

Arna: Prepare to be defeated weak human!

 

 

 

Lucy waz here. He he he now everyone will know.

 

 

 

 

Kiki: Why haven’t we hooked up yet?

Malix: Because I don’t like you.

Kiki: Why?

Malix: You’re a bitch.

 

 

 

Isela: Anson, wanna have some fun in the photo booth?

Anson: Can’t you see that I’m busy destroying Arna. He’s finally not in front of the TV anymore!

 

 

 

Kiki: That may be true but I can’t help of who I am. I think we would have pretty babies.

Malix: I’m not having a kid with you!

 

 

 

 

Where are my parents? I’m hungry like always. I guess it’s time to cry annoyingly.

 

 

 

Borage: Why do you always have the alien brat? You never take care of my niece and nephew.

Seth: I think this kid is cool. I will use him for evil.

 

 

 

 

My kid won’t stop crying annoyingly! Someone make him stop!

 

 

 

 

Your mom is dumb but I’ll still put some of my magic in her.

 

 

 

 

Stop crying annoyingly you dead brat. I’m going to give you a bath since your parents are too dumb to do it themselves.

 

 

 

I’m so awesome that I can push this stroller without touching it.

 

 

 

Who did this shit?

 

 

 

Malix: Oh shit!

Seth: MUHAHAHAHA! My evil plan is working!

 

 

 

 

This is embarrassing…

 

 

 

I feel a shame…

 

 

 

I can’t explain this…

 

 

 

Borage: You’re giving her a bath with her clothes still on?

Quincy: Don’t tell how to bathe my kid. I do what I want!

Borage: Idiot.

 

 

 

Selene: I hope no one saw that.

Lucille: I did.

 

 

 

The voices made me do it.

 

 

 

 

Arna: Dude, you’re heavy.

Borage: So is your mom.

 

 

 

 

Isela: I’m sorry for everything. Can we get back together?

Malix: I love Selene now so no.

Isela: No you don’t. Selene would never be a good as me.

Malix: You shouldn’t have fucked my cousin.

 

 

 

rose, i heard my dad is gettin married and it aint wit u lol he said u 2 ugly 4 him.

 

 

 

 

I’m not gonna listen to your lies!

 

 

 

ur dad fucked lois

 

 

 

Layla: This is fun.

Borage: Wanna know what would be more fun? If we go into the photo booth.

Layla: Let’s go.

 

 

 

 

Hold up, Lay.. I got a text message.

 

 

 

 

Borage: That’s not true!

Layla: What’s not true?

 

 

 

I’ve been sitting here with you for 2 hours and you still can’t talk. Are you dumb or something? I want a refund.

 

 

 

 

I hope I’ll get a baby soon. This camp need some little fairy babies.

 

 

 

Your fairy babies won’t be as awesome as my witch baby.

 

 

 

Aren’t you a awesome witch baby. You’re the most awesomest baby at camp.

 

 

 

We could of had awesome fairy-vampire babies together, Quincy! *sobs*

 

 

 

 

Okay awesome, kid it’s time to clean you up cause I’m a good daddy.

 

 

 

My daddy forgot about me…

 

 

 

 

Why won’t you walk? I guess the other baby is more awesome.

 

 

 

 

I think this one is mine. Why aren’t they wearing name tags?

 

 

 

 

I regret nothing.

 

 

 

 

No one will cook so I guess I will do it. Then all the guys will love me and I can finally get lucky.

 

 

 

Where’s your daddy? He knows I don’t like you demon spawns. You’re his problem now, not mine.

 

 

 

 

 

I have no idea who my mom is..

 

 

 

 

 

Quincy: Where’s the other one at? I wanna trade. This one cries too much now.

Kiki: If these hell spawns don’t shut up. Why did you idiots make them if you’re not gonna take care of them!

 

 

 

I love this toy. It’s my most favoritest!

 

 

 

 

What the? It went bye bye.

 

 

 

 

Here it is. If you leave me again, I will destroy you.

 

 

 

 

Carrie: I’m gonna sleep next to the babies.. The wall people might try to eat them.

 

 

 

The floor must be more comfortable than the sleeping bag.

 

 

 

NO! NO! I KNOW I SAID I WANTED A BABY BUT NOT THIS WAY!

 

 

 

 

Thank goodness I’m a fairy or I would be in some trouble… But then again I’m sure the mod could override this.. Don’t get any ideas out there! Don’t put a alien baby in me!

Camp Tigo 2 ISBI: Day 8

I need more magic!

 

 

 

 

The alien touched me here.

 

 

 

This brat stinks.

 

 

Dusty: I got a new joke to tell you. What did the five fingers say to the face?

Quincy: What?

 

 

 

SLAP!

 

 

 

Quincy: That wasn’t a funny joke. That was just plain rude.

Dusty: I’m cold blooded.

 

 

Borage: Why are we doing this?

Lucille: I dunno.. Pan over.

 

 

 

Selene: I’m in labor!

Borage: Oh so that’s why.

Lucille: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

 

 

 

Dragan: Is everyone freaking out about my bad breath?

Selene: No idiot. I’m in labor.

Malix: You are?

 

 

 

Dragan: yes another baby!

Malix: Woohoo! I hope this one is mine!

Borage: I’m bored.

Lucille: Yay for babies!

Arna: OMG SHE’S IN LABOR!

Isela: You’re all dumb.

 

 

I hear a party going on.

 

 

 

Lucille: Now I’m in labor.

Selene: You bitch! Stop stealing my thunder! I’m still in labor!

Isela: OMG! You too!

Dragan: I think it’s mine again.

Borage: WHAT?!

Malix: Who’s the daddy?

 

 

 

Borage: Eww stay away from me! I don’t want baby juice on my shoes!

Malix: Dat ass!

Isela: Did Lucille get the magic?!!!!

Selene: WHY ISN’T ANYONE CARING ABOUT MY LABOR?!!!

Dragan: This is funny.

Carrie: What’s going on?

 

 

Rosette: I’m in labor too!

Selene: BITCH!

Carrie: Is this the going in labor party?

 

 

 

Isela: YOU TOO!

Borage: IS EVERY LADY KNOCKED UP HERE?!

Malix: WHO’S THE IDIOT THAT KNOCKED ROSETTE UP?!

Carrie: ALL THESE LABORS!

Selene: YOU BITCHES!

Lucille: It must be in the water.

 

 

Carrie: I’m in labor now.

Selene: I hate you.

Malix: Why was this one allowed to have another one?

Seth: Shut up fools.

Borage: I can’t take this anymore.

Isela: I want a baby now!

Lucille: Labor hurts!

Rosette: I forgot that I’m in labor….

 

 

 

Borage: I’m done reacting.

Selene: I hate everyone in this room.

 

 

 

My legs feel funny.

 

 

 

THIS ROOM IS FULL OF HELL SPAWNS!

 

 

 

 

Seth: DON’T have anymore kids!

Lucille: Same to you!

 

 

 

Why is Isaiah floating?

 

 

 

 

 

Selene & Malix had a vampire son, Mikhai.

 

 

 

 

Lucille & Borage had genie twin daughters, This is Linnea.

 

 

 

 

And this is Bryony.

 

 

 

 

 

Rosette & Quincy had twin daughters, this is Thing 1 she’s a vampire.

 

 

 

 

And Thing 2, she’s a witch.

 

 

 

 

Carrie & Seth had a witch son named Shawn.

 

 

 

 

Borage got abducted but I missed it.

 

 

 

WHY WEREN’T YOU PAYING ATTENTION??!!!

 

 

 

All 10 Camp Tigo 2 bay bays… NO MORE BABIES, GUYS!