Love For The Ladies: Chapter 75 – Aftermath

“I am sorry little one. I am sorry you lost your parent. I did not know Ahilac’s queen would hurt him. I am at fault, I made you an orphan. With your Suziu’s dying wish, I will care for you and your siblings.”




“Sha’tifa, you do not have to worry about caring for my brother’s offspring.”

“What do you mean?”

“I received a message from the commanders, they request I have them sent to their living parent. However Icia and Fikah’s mothers are deceased, as for Jairei..well Borage remains in a coma. The next of kin would be their older siblings, they have some who reside in the colony.”

“I promised Peidax that I will care for them. His dying wish.”

“I know but it is law. You can still keep tabs on them as much as you like for Icia and Fikah.”

“But Jairei?”

“You can until his transfer to Earth goes through.”

“You say the other parent is in a coma.”

“Yes, but by law he must be returned to his living parent by any means. Borage has adult children whom live with him. They will care for him until..if he were to awake. Do not worry so much, transfers are slow for young children.”




There was a knock on the door, I wasn’t surprised to see my aunt Fayon showing up but was a bit surprised to find the kids with her along with suitcases. I didn’t attend my Suziu’s funeral earlier in the day. I didn’t see the purpose in doing so. I didn’t tell Dia or Toshi that Fayon planned one for him. If they knew, they would try to pressure me into going.

Yeah I got my own issues with him and I know it wasn’t fair for my siblings but it wasn’t like he was the father of the year or so. So busy with fucked up projects, raping my dad, he didn’t have much time to really raise any of us. That’s especially towards the septuplets. Dumb ass finally did some stepping up and care for them in some way..mainly cause of how Aries turned out. He fucks up one kid’s life and leaves Dumb ass to pick up the pieces. At least he did something right for Aries, that’s more that I can say for my other parent. He has some nerve to have more.. It pisses me off.

“You missed your Suziu’s burial.”

“I know. I didn’t want to attend.”

“Toshi and Dia were not there either.”

“I didn’t tell them there was one.”

“Why would you do such thing?”

“Gee… cause I don’t give a fuck? You’re just putting him into the ground. What’s the big deal?”

“I know you have issues with Peidax but Toshi and Dia did not.”

“I know, it’s not fair but I’m kinda a bitch if you haven’t notice. What’s with the kids?”

“By law, the kids have to live with next to kin if there’s no other parent alive. Icia, Fikah and Jairei will be living you. However I contacted your brother Liam and informed that I had submitted a transfer for Jairei for earth.”

“Isn’t that great… Another diaper bandit in my care. I just brought another crib for Orion.. I don’t have room for another one. I guess I’ll see if they even sell fairy houses here but I seriously doubt it.”

“I am sorry if I am causing you any burden.”

“It’s okay, i guess.”



The first week was a bit difficult for my little brother and sister. It’s understandable but they make me not want to have any kids. I try making different foods for them so they would at least eat something. I know they are sad over our Suziu’s death but they gotta eat. Icia was easy to please but Fikah seemed to be more difficult.

“I don’t like this.”

“That’s too bad, kid. You said you wanted grilled salmon.”

“I change my mind, I want pizza.”

“Either you eat that or have a burger.”

“Those are veggie burgers. I want real burgers like Suziu makes.”

“Icia doesn’t like meat so all we got is veggie burgers. Besides, Toshi went out and caught that fish and grilled it for you. You should be lucky that he goes out of his way for you.”

“It taste weird. I want pizza, please.”

“Saying please isn’t gonna make it happen. I made veggie burgers, Toshi grilled fish, you can have one or the other.”

“But I don’t wanna neither. I’ll just ask Lilah to make magic burgers.”

“No you’re not! You’re gonna sit your green behind down and eat your dinner.”


“You both get ice cream when you’re done.”



“Okay, I’ll eat the fish.”




“And you, how is the burger?”

“It’s yummy! Can I have another one, please?”

“But you’ll be too full for ice cream.”

“No I won’t! I eat a lot cause I’m part wolf.”

“It’s bad enough Lilah eats a lot, I guess it’s okay if you’re still hungry. I’m just glad you’re eating again.”

“I’m extra hungry cause I’m sad.”

“I know, I guess I could make extra food for you then.”

“You don’t have to.. We’ll have more time to play!”

“True but I want you to have enough food in your tummy.”

“I’ll be fine.. I just miss Suziu.”

“I know..”




Jairei is more difficult than the others. He reminds me so much of dumb ass, mainly cause he’s identical to him but he acts like him a lot, this baby is an asshole. Feeding time sucks cause he hates everything that we give him. He throws food and cry all the time. I’ll be happy when he’s sent to earth to live with dumb ass and they can be assholes together.




“You gonna drink your bottle, bubbles?”


“Drink your bottle, it’s good for, bubbles.”


“Hey! Put that down.. Don’t you do it. Don’t you- Ouch! You hit me!”

Jairei giggles.

“That wasn’t very funny, bubble butt!”



For the most part, Dia attends to Jairei more. I guess she enjoys the abuse by Jairei, it’s clear he isn’t a fan of hers. She adores him a lot and act as he’s hers but she should cut her loses. The kid is an ass.

“I’m gonna eat your belly. I’m gonna eat it!”


“Wanna be an airplane? let’s fly around.

“Down! Down!”

“Vroom! Vrrrrrroom! Look at the air- Gaaaah! You puked on my face!”

Jairei giggles.

“That wasn’t very nice, bubbles! Puking is rude!”




“Let’s get you all cleaned up okay, bubbles?”


“But you have to. A clean ass is a happy ass. That’s what daddy always say!”





“What are you doing, bubbles?”


“Wait! No! Don’t poop in your bath!”





“Okay bubbles, I know it’s not your usual diaper but your bubble butt is hard to keep in normal diapers. I think you’re be okay. Now go have fun!”










Anais has a better time with the jerk baby. He likes her, I’m guess cause she’s the only female who wasn’t related. This does make Deja jealous when she does attend to him but Toshi is sure to step in so she doesn’t feel left out.





Being surrounded by all these kids makes me wonder about kids. Would I be a good mother? I love going out, drinking and having fun but it seems like my siblings are starting to have little families of their own. Toshi is having thoughts of making things official with Anais since they now have Deja. Lilah and Dia don’t have anyone but they go on dates in hopes they’ll find the right guy. 




For the moment I keep myself busy with the kids, especially Orion. L2 has kept contact with me and was able to send his medical records to me. After a check out, I was told to work with Orion and his motor skills. Although he’s younger than he appears, he’s falling behind in development. I took out an hour for a day, teaching Orion how to walk. He was scared at first and often cried because he took a hard tumble on the first day. I assure him that’s it’s gonna be okay. After a week, Orion walking but stumbles time to time. I’ve tried with talking but he’s just not having it at the moment. I guess I will try again when I think he’s ready.




I had a night for myself for once since taking in my younger siblings. I got a call from my friend Atom asking me to meet him at the cemetery. Atom was the first friend I made since moving to Arcadia. Normally I has dislike towards humans but there’s something interesting about Atom that I like.




Like conjuring zombies from their graves!





As I waited for Atom to show up, I thought to myself about possibly dating. I don’t think I would ever date Atom, he’s a human. Sometimes I feel that Atom may like me but I don’t want him to. I’m a bitch and really don’t like humans although I’m half myself. I’m sure the right woman for him is out there some where.





“Hey sis, high five!”

“Um, no. I’m not touching your greasy hands.”

“What’s your deal? Why are you just a bitch?”

“Because I am.”

“Ya know, if you get laid once in a while.. Maybe you won’t be such a bitch.”





Maybe Toshi is right.. Maybe I should get laid but the problem is that… I’ve never had sex…

“Lovely night isn’t it?”

“I guess so. What took you so long?”

“My sis was being all haggity, running her nag mouth. I added a roofie into her drink so when I get home, she’ll be knocked out.”

‘Ha! Nice. Maybe I should do that to my sibs but we got little ones at home but.”

“Lame, didn’t know you were playing mommy now.”

“No choice really.”

“Why so?”

“I don’t wanna talk about…”




“Um..okay. How many zombies you made for tonight?”

“Just 3, for fun I gave one a jet pack.”

“Awesome, I wonder if a body part will fall off.”

“I’m hoping so. It would be funny especially if a whole ass was left on the mayor’s lawn.”

“You’re so wicked and I love that. Ya know Luna… I kinda like you.”


“I’m starting to like you. You’re just as fucked up as I am. I think we would work well together.”




“You’re sure you wanna get involved with an alien?! I could implant a baby in you that would rip your asshole to the size of China!”

“Where did you get that thing?!”

“Does it matter?! Drop the pants so I know your asshole is fit for birthing my alien babies!”

“You’re fucked up! Will you marry me?!”


“Kidding! Would you like to on a date with me?! Please say yes!”

“Whatever! I’ll go on a lame date with you!”



Love For The Ladies: Chapter 74 – Bittersweet



“You stay here Orion. You have siblings who live here. They will care for you, protect you. I will come and check on you. If I am ever caught by the queen, you will be safe here.”





“To make sure you are fully protected, I will deactivate you as I did to Solar. You’ll live normal, the queen will not have use for you.”




“Good bye for now. I will come see you again, Orion.”







“Orion? What are you doing here? How did you get here? You look a lot different from the pics but I can see you have some of our dumb ass dad in you. C’mere little guy.”




“Here, you can hang out with your niece, Deja. You both got a lot in common, such as shameless shitting on yourselves.”








“Hey L2, you’re not going to believe this but I found our brother Orion at my door here in Arcadia. I’m pretty sure it’s him, he looks different from the pics but he does look like Solar does now. I can send in a transfer for him to return back to Earth however it will take some time. The council of Arcadia want children to stay, so they will put off the transfer as long as possible. 5 years max before they have to honor the request of transfer. Since Orion is a toddler, they are most likely going to hold off for the next 5 years. I don’t mind keeping the little guy. At least I can train him how to not be a dumb ass like dad.”




Having Jairei around has been the most wonderful thing but caring for a young infant can be a bit time consuming. Perhaps if he was older, things would be a bit easier. However I am enjoying him as a small infant but my work has been slacking. I should improve before my commanders take notice. 





I had a small sample of an aging formula that Ahilac gave to Icia and Fikah. It’s enough to advance Jairei’s age a month older however I would want his age to be close to a year old. If I were to successfully double this sample, I could speed up his age.




I was able to doubled the small sample with success and carefully added the right amount into one of Jairei’s bottles. As I fed him, I cherished these last few moments of his infant hood. He’ll be at the age where he’ll be able to fed himself and such. As he drink the last bit from his bottle, I started to have second thoughts.




However it was too late. What was done is done, Jairei rapidly aged into a 10 month old before my eyes. As soon as I saw him rock back and forth with his feet and giggled, no I longer regret my decision. He’s healthy and happy.




The next couple weeks were a bit easier, he didn’t need around the clock feedings as much but still requires more than any other toddler. I remember this with Aries, he was always hungry and needed more feedings. I figure it because of their genie status.





It was a nice day and decided to pull away from the lab to spend time with my children. We went fishing at a near by pond.

“How we can’t do more often, Suziu?”

“I want to but my job and Jairei need me lot. I am sorry. I promise we will do of this more.”

“I really hope so, Suziu. This is loads of fun. I bet I can catch a bigger fish than Fikah.”

“Nuh huh! I can catch a bigger fish!”

“No you can’t! I’m a better fisher. Right Suziu?”

“Do not fight. Fighting is not good.”

“Sorry Suziu.”

“I’m sorry too.”




I later decided that we should go to the park to have a little picnic. I don’t recall ever doing this with my older children. I don’t recall doing much with them. I was wrapped up with my work, spent little time with them. It is one of my regrets. I hope to have a closer relationship with my 3 youngest children, something I wanted from my older children. My second born Luna resents me the most since I picked her as the breeder. However she is not required to do so, she remains upset with me. As for my oldest, Bora Bora, there was nothing I could do to win her love. I don’t hear much from my 2 oldest children, especially Luna. I made attempts to speak with them but they ignore me. I am hurt, but I won’t stop attempting to make contact with them.




“Food is good?”

“Yes, Suziu! I love PB and J. Thanks for making it for me.”

“Yeah Suziu, I love burgers. Icia is missing out on burgers.”

“Meat is gross! I’m not missing out, Fikah.”

“You’re a weirdo. A werewolf who doesn’t like meat.”

“I’m not a weirdo!”

“Do not call sister names. That is not nice.”

“Sorry but I think it’s odd.”

“Your sister is fine the way she is.”





“Can I ask you something, Suziu?”

“Yes, what is it, Fikah?”

“How come we only got one parent? Don’t we have a girl parent too?”

I knew one day they would ask about their mothers. I cannot tell them the truth, they’ll hate it even if I said it was not my decision. What do I do?

“We know how Jairei happen, he’s a clone but what about us? I look different from Fikah plus I’m a wolf and he isn’t.”

“We were created in a lab too? Are we lab babies? Lab baby clones?!”

“No, you and Icia have different mothers.”

“Then where’s our mommies?”

“I do not how to say… Your mothers had passed on after birth.”

“They died?”

“How? Did we kill them? Oh no!”

“No, your mothers….they were sick. I could not save. I am sorry.”






I told them the half truth, they mothers had died but I didn’t tell them that I had to kill them. They seemed to believe it, maybe one day I will tell them the truth but they are much too young to know the truth.





While Icia and Fikah went to go play, I felt it was time for me to teach Jairei how to walk. He seemed to be a bit eager to learn how to walk which I enjoyed. However I am worried about teaching him how to speak. My English is not good and I do not feel I should teach him. Fayon taught the septuplets, Icia and Fikah to speak, Borage taught Bora Bora and Luna. Fayon has done so much for me, it would be a bother to ask her since she now has one small child of her own.




“I can help you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can teach the baby to speak. My English is pretty good.”

“How did you know this was an issue? You read my thoughts?”

“Yes! But for good reasons!”

“Reason of?”

“Never mind that, would you like my help?”

“I could not impose..”

“I do not mind! I love babies!”

“Okay, if you insist.”




I left Jairei with Wanzi in hopes she could teach him how to speak. I returned to the lab to continue on with my day’s work.

“Okay little baby, I’m gonna teach you how to say some words.”


“C’mon little baby, it’s gonna be fun. Can you say puppy?”


“You didn’t even try!”




It has been sometime since I last saw Ahilac. I do think about her a lot. I do miss her but I try to focus on my work and children. I do wish she returns back to me. I wonder if I did something to make her leave. My life will feel complete if she ever returns back to me.






I couldn’t believe my eyes, she returned back to me and embraced me with a kiss. I did not care where she went, or why she left. I was happy to see her once again.




“I am sorry for I had left but I did not want to be a bother.”

“You was not. I promise to protect and find a place for you and Orion. Where is Orion?”

“He is safe. He is with your older children here. I can see him when I please.”

“Oh I see. I will still find a place for you.”

“Thank you but I found a place. I came to see you. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. I am happy you are back.”

“I will visit you often. Make love often.”

“I would love that. I can take break, we can catch up.”




“She’s back? I thought she left and we were safe. I had enough of this. I will take care of this problem.”







“Queen?! Oh.. no!”

“We have been looking for you. You failed to bring the child! Where is the child! Bring me the child then you will suffer your fate!”

“Queen! I am sorry! I am sorry that I failed you!”

“Bring me the child!”

“You can not have the child! You can not have her!”

“I am not speaking to you lizard man. I come forth the child. Bring him to me!”




“I will not give you Ahilac or Orion. Leave! Before I have you removed!”

“Peidax, please. Let me handle this…”

“No! I promise to protect. I will protect you with my life!”

“It is best if you listen to your whore, lizard man if you know what’s good for you.”

“Leave this place! You will not harm her in any way! I do not care of what she had done! You plan to turn the baby into your love slave once you age him? You cannot force love!”




“You will regret stepping into this, lizard. You could of done as the others and stay out. You just had to open your big mouth.”





“Queen, please! I beg of you. Do not harm Peidax! You only came for me! Please, do not hurt him!”





“He will know when to shut his mouth! It will cost him dearly!”






“I do not have the child… I deactivated him..”





“You do not have him? You deactivated him? He is useless to me now! For years we waited for a male child and you deactivated him? I will make your death more painful than your lizard friend!”








“Peidax?! What happen?! What is going on? Please tell me what is going on?!”







“Brother! What happen to my brother!”

“Sha’tifa? What happen in here?!”

“I do not know.”

“Is my brother okay?! Brother please speak! Please!”





“Peidax! Oh my stars! Please don’t go! I’m going to get you help! You’re gonna pull through this!”


“Peidax, don’t speak. Save your energy!”


“Wha-what? You forgive me? Never mind that! Stay with us!”

“Ta…ke care…my… Please.”

“Peidax, no! Do not leave us! Please! Peidax!”

“Care……child…ren.. please.”

“I will… I promise… Do not leave us! Please, Peidax! I still love you!”

“I never stopped….loving…you..”

“Peidax? Peidax?! Noooooo!”




Disco Insanity: Log#4 – I’m an Acrobat

“I wasn’t finished getting read for our date my beloved! Don’t you want me when I’m all prettied all?”




“What are you all pissed off about? I was asleep you know.”

“The wrong alien took me. I need someone to complain to about it.”

“Okay, bitch about this with me later. I’m a chicken and I’m asleep at this hour.”

“I don’t care! I wanna talk now!”

“Look here ho…”

“No you look here!”








“How about a hug?”

“I don’t do hugs.”

“Oh how come on. One hug doesn’t hurt.”

“Hugs are filled with happiness with love.”

“Yeah, true.”

“Happiness and love is pain that I cannot bare.”

“What! Happiness and love isn’t painful, sourpuss!”



“Evil chicken, come talk to me.”

“Can you bitches let me sleep?”

“My sister said being happy makes her hurt. Why she gotta be a sourpuss?”

“Why do you gotta be annoying?”

“I’m not annoying! You’re annoying!”

“I’m annoying?”




“You came to wake me up to complain about something stupid that I can’t do nothing about and you’re calling me annoying? You got some nerve, STD girl.”

“Who you calling an STD?!”

“Your name is chlamydia isn’t it?”

“It’s Khlamydia with a K so there’s a huge difference you big idiot face!”

“Whatever, just go away like now.” 



“I had to get a new job cause my boss said men don’t like wearing skirts! Can you believe this shit?”

“Look it’s early. I didn’t get much sleep cause you and your STD sister wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“I gotta find a new job! I’m mad.”

“I think it’s for the better.”

“I wanted to be a stylist!”




“How about being an acrobat?”

“Hmm I never thought about being one. I guess that would be fun.”

“Good. I hope you break all of your bones.”




What are you doing?

“Spray painting a mural on my house. I want to do 3 of these.”

You want 3 ugly murals on your house? Why not around town instead?

“I want memory of my awful mistakes. Besides, this star is pretty. I’m gonna be a star since I’m going to be an acrobat.”



“Awesome! I’m an acrobat now. I gotta let the town know of this amazing news.”




“People of Lunar Lakes! I am now an Acrobat. I demand that you give me money when I perform. So get over here now and give me your money cause I need it! I am a star!”




“Well? I’m waiting! Give me your money! All of it! I know you bitches have some money! I seen you around town, stuffing your fat faces with fattening food!”




“I know you’re in there! I can hear you breathing! You’re all still fat!”




“I’m gonna show these guys that I’m the best acrobat in space! This is always been my dream since the evil chicken suggested this. I got this career in the bag.”




“Whoa! Whoa! Whoaaaaaa! This wind is really taking me awayyyyyyy! Stop it dude! So not cool!”



“Oof.. Could of given me a softer landing…”



“I totally meant to do that!”


Disco Insanity: Log#3, Abduction of the heart

“How come we didn’t have one of these at daddy’s?”

Like if any of you would use it. Besides you’re only using this cause you rolled a wish to make a pizza.

“I would had. I’m a dough spinning machine. I can bake the best pizza ever. Maybe I should run my own pizza joint.”

Let’s not..

“You don’t think I can do it? I can!”

You need to focus on your goal.

“Oh yeah! Marry a alien!”

Yes but not.. You want to be a heartbreaker…

“Oh yeah that. I gotta have 10 boyfriends and rip their hearts out and possibly eat them. I bet heart juice would make good pasta sauce.”

No more horror movies for you.




“Like seriously, I make the bestest pizza ever. Where’s those butt babies sisters of mine? They are missing out on this awesomest of pizza!”

I’m sure they are nearby.

“They better come get some cause I’m gonna eat this whole pizza and not give a fuck about calories.”




“Who’s the most awesomest girl ever? Me of course!”





“And I’m the most sexest too. Who wouldn’t wanna get with this? I think I got my sexy from my sexy daddy cause he’s the most awesomest daddy even if he hates me cause I came out his asshole. My other daddy is okay I guess but he’s kinda gay. I love my sexy daddy and my almost gay daddy too! They made me so cool!”




“I wonder why I got vampire teeth. Am I a vampire? Could that be possible? Oh wait.. I got them from sexy daddy! Am I a genie? I wanna more cool like Aries!”





“You’re a stupid alien with green skin! I bet your tits are all saggy and gross!”





“I don’t care much for your rude comments there, reflection girl! You’re mad cause you aren’t awesome like sexy daddy and me!”




“You’re a stinky ass baby and you smell like genie shit! I hate you so much right now! I hate you so much so right! UGGGHHHHH!!!”

Okay… moving on…




“No no no. I don’t wanna hear it. You’re just a asshole who needs to be fired in a skillet. I let you stay here and you’re not giving me a golden? What kind of magic golden goose are you?”




“What?! You’re just a evil chicken? I wanted a golden goose to give me chocolate! I didn’t want a evil chicken who make rude ass comments about my outfit. I gots all kinds of fashion sense. You just be hatin’!”




“Hey! Get back here! I’m not done giving you a miserable time!”





“Fine, leave. I’ll just go swim naked cause it’s my wish. You know the saying, my wish is my command. That’s what my brother say to his annoying girlfriend but she’s kinda hot. I would lesbian for her.”

It’s “Your wish is my command.

“Same thing! Anyway, like my daddy would say, “It’s naked time!”




“Whoa! I got a pool full of grape kool aid! I didn’t bring a cup!”




“It’s just water.. How disappointing. I was hoping to have a pool full of kool aid but it’s just water. I guess there’s no point in holding my bladder anymore.”






“I forgot you were here! Don’t do that!”

“I can’t help it. I’m evil.”




“That scare got me in the mood to fix a salad.”

You just ate, you’re not even hungry. 

“Well I gotta make this salad anyway. I gotta be the big sister and feed my little sisters.”

Luna is older than you…




“Oh right… Those bitches can fend for themselves. I’m going to bed.”





“I need a good night sleep. Tomorrow I start my awesome job as a stylist. Everyone is gonna be looking so fly like me!”





“Never mind, I gotta check out those strange lights outside.”





“So am I gonna get a invite to this rave or what?”





“I was really hoping for this happen but I gotta put on a face like I don’t wanna get probed but I really do! It’s hard to hide my excitement for anal probing!”





“I hope that was good for you like it was for me. I’m worn out. You’ll call me, right?”





“You better call me if you know what’s good for you.”





“I not take threats kindly.”

“But I loves you. You abducted my heart. We are belong together foreverest.”

“I go. You go take meds.”

“You got what I need baby. You love me right? Didn’t the anal probing mean anything to you like it did for me?”

“No, it amused me.”

“Well I loved it but use your alien cock next time, Frabbit!”

“Not good idea. Bye.”

Disco Insanity: Log#1, This will do


“Awesome! I made to Lunar Lakes with blowing up in space! But why am I wearing a girls scout outfit?”

Cause you’re crazy and Borage wouldn’t let you join girls scouts when you were a child.

“Oh yeah! Daddy didn’t know who I was. I wonder if I can sell cookies.”

Aren’t you too old for that?

“Nah! Never too old to sell cookies in a girl scouts outfit. I better go earn my badges.”







“Who is she?”

Your sister.

“You don’t remember me?”

“Not really.. “

“But we moved back home when you were 16.”

“Oh yeah.. You’re a butt baby.”


“Just saying cause it smells like ass in here.”




“Why does everyone call me a butt baby?”

Cause when your dad gave birth-

“Never mind! I don’t wanna know!”



I saw you rolled a wish for a job. Great start!

“I wanna be a stylist.”

Um..why? Are you sure about this?

“Yeah. I got good taste in fashion.”

You can’t be serious…

“What? I do! Isn’t my outfit cute? I picked the colors myself!”

This world is doomed..

“Yeah doomed to look fabulous!”

Are you liking the new hot tub?

“Yep, I wanted to take a dip in it like daddy always did. Now I wanna skinny dip.”

I guess you could do that later but why are you in your formal wear?

“I wanted to be a plant soaking in water.”

Right. Why did I even ask.

“Can I join? I’m in my formal wear too.”

“I didn’t want any butt babies in my hot tub. You are just gonna make it smell like ass.”

“I know I was born out of daddy’s ass but that doesn’t mean I smell like it. I take baths! I’m clean. I swear so stop calling me a butt baby. I didn’t pick to be born that way.”





“Your name is a STD so I’m not sure about that.”

“I’m a virgin, stupid! I didn’t pick my name. Our great-aunt did.”

“Well just don’t dirty up my hot tub or you will pay.”

“I got alien powers.. Don’t fuck with me.”

“And I got genie powers.”


“Dia started it!”




“Check out my shoes. You like them?”

Those are nice.

“I love my new shoes. I can’t til my first client. She’s gonna have nice heels like these.”

What if your client is a guy?

“He’ll look great in heels too.”




“Who are you talking to?”





“The brain llama, who else?”

“He came back?”

“She came back. I thought he was a boy but he was a girl but it’s cool. You like me shoes too?”





“Those are nice but check out mines.”

“Hooker boots, classy.”

“At least I look like a classy hooker.”





Are you going to join your sisters?

“Yeah right. Like I wanna be around those idiots.”

Well you do live with them, it’s not like you can avoid them.

“The house is big enough, I think I can. I’m enjoying the peace over here.”

I guess you would be a bit under dressed since you forgot your swimsuit.

“Nah.. I wanted to see what’s the big fuss of skinny dip since Borage does it all the time.”

Will you ever call him “dad”?

“It’s not in my nature to call him “dad”. Yeah he gave me life but that means nothing. You know how much of a dick he was to me when I was little.”

I guess you have a point but it got better when you were older.

“Bitch Lois changed him.. I’m glad he’s not pussy whipped anymore.”

But he was nice to you, isn’t that what you wanted?.

“And I don’t like “nice”.”

Then I’m not sure what you are complaining about..

“I don’t like him but he gave me money. I guess I like him now.”

What about your Suziu?

“Not so much now since he’s the reason why I’m hiding out here. I’m not having babies!”

That’s what you think…

“Excuse me? You better not.. You’re not suppose to control me anyway.”

I do what I want.

“Well shit.”