Love For The Ladies: Chapter 32, I’m Surrounded By Idiots

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I told my dad that he should some time with his namesake. Of course he wanted to do my nerd shit with my dad. I just don’t get that boy. He was blessed for my good looks and he wastes it by doing nerdy shit. I’m hoping that him talking with my dad will wipe away that nerd shit. How is he going to be a ladies man and pick up where I left off if he’s a nerd?

 

 

 

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“So L2 how are you with the girls at school?”

“Are you going to try and push me into being a ladies man too like my dad?”

“Well no, just making conversation. I know how teenage boys can be.”

“I don’t really talk to girls at school. There are some who find me cute but they don’t say much to me.”

“Why so?”

 

 

 

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“Maybe cause I’m not like other boys at school. I’m not trying to be hip or anything. I only focus on my studies in hopes of attending a good college after I finish high school. I want to be a video game developer. I’ve creating a game of me own.”

“That’s pretty cool. I guess creating a game would take away some time from the lady.”

“Well grandfather, there is this one girl that I do spend time with.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah but she’s more of study buddy. Her name is Ashley Wood. She’s very pretty. We been friends since we were kids. But I don’t think she would like me. Plus I’m too shy to tell her that I like her.”

 

 

 

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“Have you try writing a note?”

“I did and asked Bora Bora to give it to her. She said gave it to her but I don’t she did. I think she may of slip the note in the wrong locker.”

“Maybe you should give her the note your self.”

“I don’t know about that grandfather. What if she reads it in front of me?”

 

 

 

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“Just hand her the note and run away like a bitch.”

“Bora Bora!”

“What Papa? I’m just putting in my 2 cents. You two are lame.”

 

 

 

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“Zin, this whole time we been here we really didn’t do anything fun. We you spent enough time with your grandbrats? Let’s go do something crazy. Were leaving tomorrow.”

 

 

 

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“What do you wanna do then, Rose?”

“Let’s go skinny dipping in the ocean.”

“That sound like fun! Can I join?”

“You really want to, PC?”

“Yeah!”

“I think I like this grandbrat of yours Zin.”

 

 

 

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“Heck yeah! This is fun, grandmama!”

“My Liam boo should of be dipping with me. If he saw my hot body then he’ll be all over me right now!”

“Shut up Rose! Liam doesn’t want you!”

 

 

 

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Tonight was the night that my parents and aunt were leaving. It’s been a fun week with them and all but I’ll be glad to spend more time with my lady before I return back to my job at the club. I was about to say my goodbyes but my mom needed to answer her phone. She said it was Celsia calling her.

 

 

 

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“Hey Cece what’s up?”

“Not much mama. Grandpa just bought me a house in Hidden Springs. I was wondering if you would see my new house.”

“We can do that Cece. I’m in Starlight Shores right now, that’s like 30 minutes from there right?”

“Uh yeah but who is “we”?”

“I’m here with Rosette and your dad. We can come in the morning and just book another flight home.”

“Asshole is there? I don’t want him here.”

“Cece, he’s your dad. You haven’t seen him in years. I know he wants to see you. Borage can drive us up there in the morning.”

“You’re bringing dumb ass too? Fine whatever mama. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Chill out heffa, it will be fun. Talk to you later, Celsia.”

“Okay, bye mama.”

 

 

 

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Celsia just moved to Hidden Springs and wants us to visit well mainly wanted mom to come but I have to drive them so whatever. I told Lois that I’ll be leaving just for a day, she said would stay and care for the kids. I’m not really all that thrill about seeing Celsia again but it’s been a while since we last seen each other. I kinda miss trolling the hell out of her. She’s so stupid. My dad really wanted to get back home to his other kids but mom bitch at him telling that he needs to see Celsia even if she does hate him. He didn’t want to go anywhere that he’s not welcomed but my mom kept pushing the issue that he still need to come and try to make mends. I wonder what’s up with my mom lately. She has been kinda nasty towards him. With the parents staying for another night, this gave my kids more chance to troll my dad.

 

 

 

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“BLEH!”

 

 

 

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“Ha ha ha ha ha!  Dad you’re such a pussy!”

“Man up, boo love!”

 

 

 

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“That was awesome.”

 

 

 

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“I can totally see you creeping Bora Bora.”

“Hush daddy!”

 

 

 

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“YOU’RE NEVER MARRY MY PAPA!”

“That’s not true!”

 

 

 

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“Yes let the evil flow!”

“What are you talking about, idiot?”

 

 

 

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“Um hey I thought our grandparents were leaving tonight.”

 

 

 

 

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“BOOGA BOOGA!”

 

 

 

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“Lilah! Why did you scare me like that?”

 

 

 

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“AHA HA HA HA HA HA!”

“Stop laughing at me guys…It’s very childish.”

 

 

 

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“Mom what are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

 

 

 

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“PENIS!”

 

 

 

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“AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

“Shut up assholes!”

 

 

 

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“I’m gonna get her good.”

 

 

 

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“No Brain Llama! I’m not going to do that. That’s crazy. Huh? Um no! Of course I still like you. Why would you think that?”

“Borage, your kid is a fuckin’ weirdo.”

“I dunno who she is. She’s one of mine?”

“Dad, that’s my twin and your daughter.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

 

 

 

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“BLEH!”

“OH MY LLAMA! DADDY!”

 

 

 

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“HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

 

 

 

 

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“BOO!”

“Kaia! You little jerk!”

“He he he he he I got you good Bora Bora!”

 

 

 

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“BLURB!”

 

 

 

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“Luna! That wasn’t funny!”

“Karma’s a bitch huh?”

 

 

 

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“AHA HA HA HA HA HA.”

“Stop laughing at me you jerks!”

 

 

 

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“C’mon nerd. Is that all you got?”

“No dad! I bet I can beat you at pillow.”

“Oh yeah? Let’s see what you got, geek.”

 

 

 

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“You bitch! Why did you hit me?!”

“We were having a pillow fight.”

“That’s a pillow case with oranges!”

“But the Brain Llama said oranges would be more exciting than a pillow.”

“Where’s this Brain Llama so I can choke him!”

“Please don’t hurt my friend!”

 

 

 

 

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“Seriously… where did these pillows come from.”

“Magic, grandmama?”

“I guess. Magic is awesome!”

 

 

 

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“I should slap you! Why did you do that for?”

“Hey don’t start a pillow fight if you can’t hang.”

 

 

 

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“I have to deal with this one more night? I’m surrounded by idiots….”

Love For The Ladies: Chapter 31, Mojito Surprise

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You know what’s great about Starlight Shores? The night life. Since my parents had been here I haven’t shown them the night life just yet. They have been wrapped around the kids most of the time. Rosette whined about wanting to go party since she’s not interested in my kids. No one told her to come anyway. There’s no reason for her to even be here in the first place. 

 

 

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I was getting a bit stir crazy and felt it was time to have a night out on the town. I know my mom wants to visit a few old friends of hers and my dad haven’t seen much of this city. I told everyone to get ready for a night out. Lois said she would stay behind with the kids so I could spend time with my parents. I told her the kids would be fine and I wanted her to join us. I want my parents to get to know my wife-to-be, I know they’ll love her as much I do. But Lois mention that she thinks my mom hates her. That’s not possible. I’m sure my mom would warm up to her if she get to know her some more.

 

 

 

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Our first stop was at a art gallery. I’ve been wanting to bring Lois here since she likes art a lot. The family didn’t seem to mind it.

“Can you do your stupid genie stuff somewhere else? You’re in the way! I wanna go look at some boring art shit.”

“You’re just jealous cause you’re a boring norm and don’t have genie sexiness.”

“Zin said she’s gonna make me into a genie soon.”

“That’s not possible, idiot.”

“Yeah huh! You just wait! I gonna use my genie powers to destroy you!”

“Rose? Are you threatening my baby?”

“Uh.. no Zin!”

 

 

 

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“I have no idea of what I’m looking at..”

 

 

 

 

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“It looks like a vag. I bet it’s a vag.”

“Borage, that’s silly. It’s a pretty purple flower.”

“Hmm I dunno Lois. I say it’s a vag.”

 

 

 

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“Look closely, Borage. You can see the petals. It’s a flower.”

“Nah.. It looks like a loose vag. It’s probably Rosette’s diseased vag.”

“You’re funny. But trust me it’s not what you think.”

“If you say so. All these paintings look like a vag. Maybe if I paint a picture of a vag then I’ll be a famous artist.”

 

 

 

 

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“Speaking about art, PC has been telling me how she’s interested in art. Maybe we should think about sending PC to a art school after she graduate from high school. There’s a few schools that I’ve been thinking of.”

“I didn’t know she liked art. I guess she gets it from you.”

“PC thinks you wouldn’t had care about her passion. You only play video games with her. Your other daughter Luna likes art too. Maybe we can send them to the same school.”

“I was thinking of sending off Luna to the moon.”

“Borage!”

“What? She’s alien, that’s where she belongs.”

 

 

 

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“Borage, seriously we need to start thinking about schools for PC and your other kids. Bruce-Lee is a junior and he’ll be the first to leave. We need to think about the kids’ future.”

“You really care about my other kids?”

“Of course I do. They are like my kids too. Once were married, they’ll be my step children.”

“They are going to love you as a mom. You are right, we need to start thinking about their futures. I’ll talk to my cousin Lei. She’s attending a art school in Twinbrook.”

 

 

 

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“That’s great. That was one of the schools I was thinking about.”

“That’s cool. If Baby cake decides she wants to go to school in Twinbrook she could stay with Lei or my dad.”

“I think your dad’s house would be full if he still plan on having 100 kids.”

“Yeah I guess you’re right.”

 

 

 

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I’m glad to have this lady in my life. She cares about my other kids as much as she cares about PC. I’m hoping that I already put a baby in her. Can’t wait to have another baby with her.

 

 

 

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After visiting the art gallery we headed over to The Edge where I DJ at. It’s been a hot second since I’ve been here. My baby leave is almost over so I’ll be back. It will feel great getting behind the booth and spinning some sexy tracks for the ladies again. It might be different this time since I would have a certain lady on my mind. But I’ll still have just as much fun spinning like old times. It wasn’t long before my dad tried to get his mack on. He’s insane for attempting it while Rosette is with us.

 

 

 

“Mmm.. I kinda like what I see from behind.”

 

 

 

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“Excuse me miss, mind if I can buy you a drink?”

 

 

 

 

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“Buy me a drink? I would love that.  Wait a minute….”

 

 

 

 

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“DADDY! OH MY WIG! I FINALLY FOUND YOU!”

 

 

 

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“Daddy? Is this some kind of joke?”

 

 

 

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“Of course not daddy! I am your son. My name is Mojito Montigo. You are Liam Gelman right? You look like from the photos that I’ve seen. Please tell me that you’re my daddy!”

 

 

 

“Well yes, I am him. Is this another prank? Did my grandchildren put you up to this? How could  have another grown Montigo child? I only had 2 with Zinnia who are  grown now and 3 with Rosette who are all also grown.”

 

 

 

“It’s not a prank. I believe Rosette is my mommy. The woman who took care of me said I am a Montigo. A really long time I was born at the bar with 3 sisters. Well mommy forgot about me and left me at the bar with the bartender after getting drunk. She raised me since mommy had left town after I was born. Mommy named me Mojito and the bartender let me keep my name. She told me who my parents were but I couldn’t find any of you. But finally! You came for me daddy!”

 

 

 

“Wait what? Rosette left you at the bar? How does she not realize that she just gave birth to 4 babies? This is almost impossible to believe. Are you really my daughter.. err.. son? Does Rosette know about you?”

 

 

 

“Yes am I your son. I look just like you daddy. Mommy doesn’t know about or even remember having me. Mommy has issues with numbers. She can’t count. The bartender tried to tell mommy that she’s forgetting a baby but she ignored her and left. I’ve been searching for you both for years. Where is mommy? I want to meet her.”

 

 

 

I missed my booth and decided that I was going to play since my replacement sucks. I couldn’t help but notice my dad trying to get his mack on to some tranny. I decided that I’ll play them a special song.

 

 

 

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“This next track: Dude, she’s a man, goes out to my dad and his new special lady.”

 

 

 

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“OH YOU DIDN’T MR. ASSHOLE DJ! I AM MORE LADY THAN YOU CAN HANDLE!”

 

 

 

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“Rosette, care to explain this?”

“Explain what, boo? That you have the hots for a tranny?”

“Is that mommy?”

“That’s her…”

 

 

 

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“MOMMY! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S YOU! I DON’T CARE IF YOU LEFT ME AT THE BAR! I FORGIVE YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOMMY! YOU’RE SO PRETTY!”

 

 

 

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“Umm.. boo thang? Why is your tranny hugging me and calling me mommy? Is this some kind of freaky fetish of yours, cause I don’t like it!”

 

 

 

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“This is our son that you left at the bar!”

“I thought Amaretto was a girl. What are you talking about?”

“You had quads, Rose and you left our son but took the girls home.”

“Isn’t quads 3 brats?”

“No Rosette! Quads is 4! How could you forget that you gave birth to 4 babies?!”

“Geeze boo love.. You know I can’t count.”

 

 

 

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“That’s not good enough excuse! Mojito said the bartender tried to tell you were about to leave a baby!”

“I was drunk! You shouldn’t had left me at the bar anyway! But NOOO! You had to leave with Zin!”

“It’s cause she was in labor!”

“So! She could of push out those idiots without you! You’re MY lover! You were suppose to be with ME!”

“YOU DON’T OWN ME!”

 

 

 

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“MOMMY! DADDY! PLEASE STOP FIGHTING! I DIDN’T MEAN TO YOU BOTH FIGHT! I AM A TERRIBLE SON! WILL YOU FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SO TERRIBLE?! PLEASE? I AM SORRY! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME AT THE BAR AGAIN! I’LL BE GOOD! I PROMISE!”

 

 

 

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“I can’t believe you yelled at me, love. You’re not being very sexy right now.”

“I’m sorry for yelling but I’m angry at the fact that you left one of our kids at the bar.”

“Well you shouldn’t have gotten me pregnant then..”

“I didn’t know that I even slept with you…”

 

 

 

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“You don’t remember making love to me?! How dare you!”

“Rose, remember how you dressed up like Zinnia and pretended to be her?”

“I don’t remember doing that! Why would I do that!”

“I dunno but you did do that.”

“Are we all good now, mommy and daddy?”

 

 

 

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“No! Your daddy is being a asshole now! He yelled at me! I am hurt. I don’t love him right now.”

“Rose…”

“Don’t ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever talk to me ever again until you stop being a asshole and return to being my sexy Liam who loves me!”

“Rose… you’re being dramatic..”

“I have a dramatic trait, boo love! What do you expect!”

 

 

 

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The next day my dad invited over my new brother-cousin that we all didn’t know about. Learning that Rosette left him at the bar doesn’t surprise us at all. Most of last night my dad and Rosette argue about it. Maybe he should stop having kids with her.

 

 

 

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“Okay Mojito.. So you don’t always dress up like a girl. But are you gay?”

 

 

 

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“If I were gay would you love me less, mommy?”

 

 

 

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“I don’t care what you are. I don’t love any of my kids. You bastards ruined my vagina!”

 

 

 

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“If you must know my sexual preference I am Bi. I love both men and woman. As much as I love a juicy cock in my mouth, I still crave to suckle on a woman’s large seductive breasts. Judge me if you must. But this is who I am now. Maybe cause I didn’t have a mommy and daddy to love me.”

 

 

 

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“I wouldn’t judge you about that… But we don’t need details.”

 

 

 

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“Fabulous! I knew you wouldn’t judge me about what I like. I am so happy to finally have real parents in my life. So you how you two been married? Did mommy look pretty in her wedding dress?”

 

 

 

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“Married? I’m not married to your mother.”

 

 

 

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“Liam my love refuses to marry me! I had his stupid kids for him and he still won’t marry me!”

 

 

 

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“I gave him all my love! I just give give give give and give. And all he does is take take take and take! I don’t understand why you are being this way. Making 100 babies is stupid. You need to be with me forever ever and ever and ever and ever and everest! We are destine to be together! Why can’t you see that boo love? What else do you want from me?”

 

 

 

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“Nothing.”

 

 

 

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“It’s okay mommy. It’s okay to live in sin. We are all sinners! Daddy you should marry mommy. She’s so pretty! I see why you made me!”

 

 

 

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“Yeah that’s not going to happen. But anyway, what happen to the person who took you in?”

“She died when I was 3. She choked on a dildo. It’s funny when you think about it. She wanted to give her new boo the best blow job ever. She started to practice on her dildo and shit went wrong.”

“Who took you in after she died?”

“A band of drag queens!”

 

 

 

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“Um okay. So tell me some things about you. What do you do for a living? Since you also like females, do I have any grandchildren?”

“Well daddy, I always wanted to be a magician but I suck at magic. The only trick I know is making my cock disappear inside of a guy’s tight ass. So I just do gay porn. As far as kids, I would of had one but my pregnant wife died.”

“That’s awful, what happen to your wife?”

“She thought it was a good idea to hang the sex swing over the balcony in our mansion. My wife was a daredevil and a freak, she would find crazy things to do to spice up our sex life so I wouldn’t leave her for the pool boy even though he was kinda hot. I just wanted to grab his juicy little ass! One night when she got into the sex swing and it fell. It was 50 feet above the ground. May her kinky soul rest in peace. I miss that freaky bitch and her delicious titties!”

“That’s terrible…”

“Oh not as terrible as my husband’s death! He died from auto erotic asphyxiation.

“How many times you been married?”

“3 times daddy! 2 husbands and 1 wife. I fall in love easily! But all my lovers had died hilariously. “

 

 

 

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I was curious about my new brother-cousin and join in. I swear we could of been twins but of course I’m more sexier.

 

 

 

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“Hi Borage! You’re my brother-cousin right?”

“Yeah.”

“That is fabulous! You know we could of been twins if I had mommy’s hair. It’s almost like looking into a mirror. You’re so pretty brother-cousin!”

“Um.. thanks.. So what’s with the tranny thing? Do you go into tranny mode at night or something?”

“Oh no-“

 

 

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“Ugh can I watch TV in peace? Who is this guy?

“I’m your Uncle-cousin.”

“That’s strange.”

 

 

 

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“Well I only dress like a lady cause I never had love from a mother. Plus is helps me pick up ladies.”

“That works?!”

“Yes daddy. The ladies seem to like whenever I dress like a lady too. They would show me their sweet, sweet breasts.”

“Hmm.. that’s almost hard to believe.”

“It’s true, Borage. You should try it some time. I think you would pretty dressed as a lady. You can borrow one of my dresses.”

“I think I’ll pass.”

 

 

 

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“I’m almost scared to ask more about you, son.”

“Well daddy, I’m now a witch.”

“Really?”

“Witches aren’t as awesome as us genies. But how are you a witch?”

“I was given witch powers by my last husband before died slipping on the anal beads and landing into out lit fireplace.”

“So all your spouses deaths were sex related?”

“Why yes daddy. I didn’t notice that.”

Love For The Ladies: Chapter 30, Prank War

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I had spent most of the day with my parents, going out to eat and sight seeing with them. I felt bad for neglecting my lady for most of the day but she said she understood and hanged out with the kids while I was with my parents. I told her how I was going to make it up to her in the hot tub. I remember hearing about the hot tub is a good place to make a baby in. I guess Lois and I should give this a try or a few tries. I don’t mind doing this more than once. I just hoped that Fayon took out her alien water first. I don’t want our baby coming out all fucked up.

 

 

 

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“We can start that baby making right now if you want.”

“Here? Right now?”

“Why not? I heard the hot tub is the perfect place to make a baby.”

“I heard that’s true but what about the kids? They could see us.”

“Naw.. they are busy plotting evil. They’re not thinking about us. Let’s get back to baby making.”

“Okay if you want to.”

 

 

 

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“Hey guys, we should have a prank war. What do you guys think?”

 

 

 

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“Yeah we should totally do that! Let’s all just prank Papa for scoring since he’s lame.”

 

 

 

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“Prank grandfather? Why do such a childish thing? What has grandfather ever done to us?”

 

 

 

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“He did nothing but be a lame grandparent who isn’t a pimp daddy like you losers had hoped.  Don’t be such a lame ass too, L2.”

 

 

 

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“I think a prank war on granddad would be fun. The Brain Llama agrees with me on this. Were in. You should join in L2, the Brain Llama will be pleased.”

 

 

 

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“I guess I’ll join too. Pranking granddaddy is gonna be too fun. I have all kinds of ideas. But what happens to the one who pranks granddaddy the most?”

 

 

 

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“Can we join too? I’m only 12 but I’ll be a teen next year! I wanna prank grandpa too. He’s so lame and not pimpin’. You guys gotta let us join in too.”

 

 

 

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“If Morde can join then I’m joining too. I wanna prank Papa too. And I’m gonna win. You’re all losers!”

 

 

 

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“This sucks for me. I’m stuck in the wheelchair. I can’t do much pranking in this. I guess I could keep score then.”

 

 

 

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“You guys are in, sorry Mimi maybe you can send him a dirty email? Whoever pranks grandpa the most is the ultimate  supreme ruler of the house and doesn’t have to do chores for a year.”

 

 

 

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“One, none of us ever do chores as most of you have genie powers anyway. And two, it isn’t fair to prank grandfather for no reason. This whole is unfair and very childish.”

 

 

 

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“L2, it would be fun. You need to join in. The Brain Llama will attack your dreams if you don’t.”

“Lilah is right about only one, you need to join in. It will be fun L2. It’s not childish. Were only teens.”

 

 

 

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“Yeah L2, don’t be a lame ass or we’ll start pranking you.”

 

 

 

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“I’m not joining in but if you need my help with anything, I’ll help you but this doesn’t means I’m a part of your foolish games.”

 

 

 

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“I know Liam will be washing the dishes soon. I say he needs to be cleaned up too since he’s such a dirty baby making whore.”

 

 

 

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“I’ll give this dishes a quick wash-“

“AGGRRRRRHHH!”

 

 

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“Borage! I think your sink is broken!”

“Ha ha ha ha ha!”

“What on earth is so funny Luna?”

 

 

 

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“Yes Brain Llama! I agree! Granddad would look lovely with cyan hair.”

 

 

 

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“My hair! What is going on? Someone must be playing a trick on me… I hope this washes out!”

 

 

 

 

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“Why is my dad in the bathroom yelling?”

 

 

 

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“Everyone is pranking him daddy. Oops.. I wasn’t suppose to tell. Is everyone gonna get in trouble, daddy?”

 

 

 

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“No.. I don’t care. I think it’s funny. Keep on pranking my dad but you little jerks better not pull that same shit on me or else.”

 

 

 

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“Or else what, daddy?”

 

 

 

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“I’ll make you all go live with your lame grandpa.”

“Daddy! That’s terrible!”

 

 

 

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“Mimi sent grandpa the nasty email now I just need to set up a little scary screen for him.”

 

 

 

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“Now to check my email and-“

*GIMME BABIES!*

 

 

 

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“WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT!”

 

 

 

 

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“Okay… who sent me this email of the nanny laying naked on the bed saying she wants my baby?”

 

 

 

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“MiKaia! Dinner is ready! Come in and wash up!”

 

 

 

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“No! Your cooking is lame like you, Papa! But you can wash up!”

 

 

 

 

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“You get down here right now, young lady!”

 

 

 

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“Don’t even say anything, L2. This chair is for grandpa.”

 

 

 

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“Mordecai, you know that is a wrong thing to do to grandfather.”

“No it’s not. It’s not like it’s going to hurt him.”

“True but it’s still not right. Grandpa has been nothing but nice to us and this is how we treat him?”

“Dad should of named you Lame.2. You talk too much.”

 

 

 

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“Mind if I join you boys?”

*fart noise*

Mordecai and Liam.2 snickers.

 

 

 

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“You two wouldn’t have anything to do with this whoopie cushion?”

 

 

 

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“Sorry grandfather, it wasn’t one of us. It must of been one of the others.”

“Yeah grandpa, it was one of the others. Not us, were the good grandkids. We got black hair like you. Were the favorites right?”

 

 

 

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“Morde, like I told your sister I don’t play favorites like your dad does. I love you equally.”

“Gosh you’re so lame, grandpa.”

“I don’t think you’re lame, grandfather. I think you’re cool.”

“Thanks, L2. I think you’re the first to say that.”

“So is L2 your fave now? It’s cause he has your lame name. L2 is such a kiss ass.”

 

 

 

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“Hey L2, remember you said you’ll help if we needed anything?”

“Yeah.”

“Use your super nerd powers and create something that will make Papa pee once he drinks it.”

 

 

 

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“That’s pretty evil, sis but a promise is a promise. I can at least try but I can’t promise if I’ll have the potion ready before grandfather heads home.”

“Well, then try and try hard.”

“I will, I’ll see what I can do.”

 

 

 

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“I don’t think why I even agree to this… I guess I just wanted to fit in with the others.”

 

 

 

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“Luna, it is time. Time for you transform.”

“Will it hurt, Suziu?”

“It will not. Transform is painless.”

“I miss you, Suziu. When will you be back?”

“I come back in 6 year. I miss you and Bora Bora. I will back in 2 weeks for visit.”

 

 

 

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“Why Suziu?”

“To bring you here on Ziharia.”

“Just me? What about Bora Bora?”

“Transform is complete. I have to go. Tell Bora Bora hi for me.”

“But Suziu…”

 

 

 

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“Who in the hell is that freak alien kid talking to?”

 

 

 

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I don’t get why Luna never goes to bed but Bora Bora does. I just wish she did so I could do my nightly naked swim but she stayed outside doing her weird alien shit. I didn’t feel like waiting on her to go away so I took my night time naked swim anyway. She didn’t seem to notice cause she was still doing her alien shit. 

 

 

 

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It felt so nice being all free and feeling the cool night breeze on my sexy body. Then Luna took notice.

“Really dumb ass? No one wants to see that.”

“Don’t like, then rip your eyes out, bitch.”

“I wish I could after seeing your gross body, dumb ass.”

“And I wish you could go one day without being a bitch.”  

            “The day I won’t be such a bitch is the day when you’re actually smart.”

 

 

 

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“Um… Daddy. Why are you naked? I can see your …everything.”

 

 

 

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“Sorry about that baby cake.. I didn’t know you were out here. I’m not a shame of my nakedness. You all should be proud of your nice body if you have one like me. But you better not be showing any of these boys anything of yours baby cake or I’m going to hurt someone. But I don’t care what you do Luna. You’re probably just gonna be some alien bitch whore.”

 

 

 

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“Good morning, Luna. You’re looking a little different. Is this a normal thing?”

 

 

 

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“……”

 

 

 

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“Luna, are you okay?”

 

 

 

 

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“Of course I am fine, stupid human. Let’s play doctor! I need to heal you from your nasty whore disease of being a  baby making whore! My buzz saws can fix this problem of yours, Liam!”

 

 

 

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“ARE THOSE THINGS REAL LUNA! PLEASE PUT IT AWAY!”

 

 

 

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“OF COURSE THESE ARE REAL, YOU SCUM OF THE EARTH. I HATE YOUR PROMISCUOUS WAYS! YOU MUST BE STOPPED! YOU MADE ONE MISTAKE BY CREATING BORAGE! NOW I MUST END THIS BY CUTTING OFF YOUR DICK YOU WORTHLESS ASSHOLE!”

 

 

 

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“LUNA! YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS! PLEASE PUT THAT AWAY NOW! I HAVE MY REASONS OF WHY I DO WHAT I DO!”

 

 

 

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“Chill out, Liam! You should see the look on your face. Priceless! You are so much fun to troll. Muhahahaha!”

 

 

 

 

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“Seriously.. What’s gotten you into you kids?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I guess I’m a little a shame of being naked around baby cake. I had no idea she was even outside. So I decided to try on my new swim shorts. They are a little tight but I kinda like how they feel around my balls. But if I get a hard on, my dick would probably be in my ass.

 

 

 

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But since my kids went off to school now… Naked time.

 

 

 

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“Hey, you two wouldn’t mind if I hang out with ya. We haven’t gotten to know each much. It’s been almost a week since you ladies been here and we haven’t had any chit chat yet. I should get to know my soon to be mother-in-law.”

 

 

 

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“I know enough about you to know that you’re no good for my son. That’s all you need to know, Hois.

 

 

 

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“Damn Zin, what crawled up your cooch and died? You been mean to my lova boo and now her?”

“Well Rose.. I know I might not be perfect but at least I’m upfront with Max when I want to be a slut. I’ll be like, “Hey Max, I just cheated on you again.” And he’ll be like. “Okay Zin, it’s cool but it better not be with Liam again.” We have a understanding.”

“I don’t even have to tell Finn, he already know and deals with it. If he wanna stay rich then he better keep wearing that Liam mask.”

 

 

 

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“I don’t know what you mean by that but I’m sorry if I did anything to offend you, Zinnia.”

Could she possibly know about Liam and I? But how? I wonder if she saw us? I wonder if she told Borage if she did see me and Liam together that one night. Oh no… I hope that isn’t true.. This could ruin everything. Maybe Pedro is right. Maybe I should be honest with Borage. But would he ever forgive me?

 

 

 

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“Granddaddy can do two things at once. Pee and shower. Hehehehe! This is going to be so funny!”

 

 

 

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“Why isn’t this flushing?!”

 

 

 

 

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“UGH! I SWEAR IF THIS IS ANOTHER PRANK…”

 

 

 

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“Papa! I can’t find my glasses! Can you help me?”

 

 

 

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“Sure, I can help you find your glasses. It’s a dark out, do you have a flashlight?”

 

 

 

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“Silly Papa! Aliens don’t wear glasses but we toss balloons full of piss!”

“Ugh…. I should of know better.”

 

 

 

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“Borage before we try baby making again.. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“That you can’t wait to get this genie dick back in ya?”

“Yes but no silly.. It’s more important. There’s something I need to get off my chest.”

“What’s more important than you telling me how much you love me, how you care about me,  how you’re never do anything to hurt me and how you can’t wait to taste this genie dick?”

“Borage…”

“C’mere girl.. Lemme put some magic in ya with this genie dick.”

 

 

 

I’m not sure why Lois was stalling, it’s almost like she changing her mind about having another baby. We made love so many times already, it could already be too late if she decided to change her mind about it. I tasted her lips and she tasted mine. I told her I love her and she told me that she loves me back. I guess maybe she’s not changing her mind.

 

 

 

Something about tonight’s love making was different. Different in a good way. It was more intense, more passionate. If we didn’t make a baby in the nights before, then I think this was the night we did for sure. 

 

 

 

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After making love, it felt good knowing Lois is where she belongs. Sleeping next to me like she should be. We didn’t need to worry about Fayon walking and finding her. This is how it’s suppose to be. 

 

 

 

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“Grandpa wouldn’t mind cyan hair again, would he?”

 

 

 

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“Again with this!”

 

 

 

 

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“You jerks, you can’t set your traps here.”

 

 

 

“There’s no set rules of where we can set our traps, Bora Bora. The Brain Llama said this spot is perfect.”

 

 

 

 

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“Yeah we’ll just tell everyone not to sit in the living room for a while.”

 

 

 

 

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“Ugh…”

 

30 minutes later…

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“…..”

 

One hour later…

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“Seriously? 3 whoopie cushions in here?!”

 

 

 

 

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“This is going to be the best prank ever! I got the toilet. MiKaia, you do the sink and PC you get the shower. This is so awesome! Good thing that idiot Borage doesn’t give a fuck.”

 

 

 

 

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“I like your thinking Luna. Papa isn’t gonna know what hit him after this triple threat.”

 

 

 

 

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“I think after this, granddaddy might not wanna visit us again. Oh well! It was fun while it lasted!”

 

 

 

 

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“I’ve had it with these kids! Borage needs to take control of them!”

 

 

 

 

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My dad wanted to talk to me about something. I could see that he was pissed off about something. I know my kids were pranking him hardcore for the past couple of days but I thought it was pretty funny. I guess my dad was being a spoiled sport about it. That’s no fun.

 

 

 

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“You need to get control of your kids! The first few pranks were okay but now it’s getting ridiculous!”

“Chill dad, it’s just a few pranks. The kids are just having some fun it’s not you’re getting hurt by it.”

 

 

 

 

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“Hurt? Your daughter Luna chased me with a real buzz saw TWICE! I’ve could of gotten hurt! She could of gotten hurt! How can you allow your children to run around with dangerous tools like that? How can you just sit back and let these kids do whatever they please? These kids a very disrespectful,  foul mouthed, and don’t care about anyone’s feelings but their own! I can’t even use the bathroom without being sprayed by the sink or toilet. And every time I shower my hair is a different color of the rainbow! And I had balloons filled with pee thrown at me plus my email being hacked! I’ve had it with your kids! You have terrible parenting skills and may be the most terrible father that I’ve ever seen!” 

 

 

 

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“You think I’m a terrible father? Maybe if I had a father who was actually around more then maybe I would know how to be a “good” father like you. But I didn’t so I do the best that I can do. But I can tell you this, at least my kids are still alive and well. I’ve never had child services threaten to take my kids away nor had a mental nanny who tried to shoot my aunt and possibly my mom. And if your crazy nanny would of hurt my mom then we wouldn’t be speaking. But with that said, I say I’m doing a pretty good job so far in raising my kids. I’m not running around putting babies in any female who comes my way for a selfish reasons and not caring what would be the out come of the child with me not being a part or his or her life. Yeah I made a bunch of kids cause I wasn’t careful but who taking care of them? Their crazy mothers? No! I am! I care about all my kids’ feelings and I spent time with all of them. Even the ones I find annoying. It might seem like Luna and I don’t like each other but that’s our special way of bonding.  Before you call someone a “terrible father” take a good look at yourself first!”

 

 

 

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“Son, I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it.. I’m just so annoyed right now..”

“Talk to the hand cause the face don’t understand!”

“Borage…”

“Me no speak no English.”

“…….”

 

 

 

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My dad told me that he was sorry for things he said to me about being a terrible father. I told him I would talk to the kids but they aren’t gonna listen to me. I never really laid the law down with them before. Usually Greta or Fayon would but neither of them were here. They would listen to Lois since she’s the closest they’ll have for a mom and baby cake for def listen since that is her mom. Lois had a chat with the kids and told them to call off their prank war they had going.

 

 

 

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“So are you just as lame as Papa? He’s a fake pimp. Daddy said he was a pimp but he said he’s not. So what are you?”

“I’m not lame like Liam. I’m a Montigo, we don’t know what lame is.”

“Then what makes you special then?”

“When I use to lives here, I was the top star stripper in this city.”

“Really?!”

 

 

 

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“Yep see, this is me right here. No one could ever pull off this move on the pole.”

“That’s really cool, grandmama! That is really you! You’re a stripper!”

“Yep, your great aunt Rosette was one too. We were both the top dollar, super star strippers! Those days were wonderful until I had your aunt Acacia and married Max. I had to stop. I can return but I like getting drunk a lot and sleep with men who aren’t my husband.”

 

 

 

 

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“That’s awesome. I want to be a stripper and  cheat on my husband when I grow up!”

“I think you’ll make a great stripper one day, Mimi. Your aunt Cece is one and so is Amaretto Sour. I can show you so moves when you’re ready.”

“Won’t you be all old by then?”

“Sweetie, I’m a genie.. I’m immortal. I don’t age.”

“Cool! I can’t wait!”

 

 

 

 

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“So granddad, heard that you didn’t like our prank war. That’s lame. We were having so much fun setting traps and hearing you yell. It was so funny.”

 

 

 

 

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“I don’t think you kids’ little pranks were all the funny. Try being pranked all the time and see how you like it.”

 

 

 

 

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“Actually granddad, I enjoy being pranked. I think it’s funny. I like the cyan hair dye. It looks good on me. Besides the Brain Llama and I are very amused by all the pranks that were played on us. You should stop being so lame.”

 

 

 

 

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“Can we do something normal like watch some TV. I would love to at least enjoy my time here.”

 

 

 

 

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“One day I’m going to marry a alien and have many alien babies as possible. It shall please the Brain Llama.”

 

 

 

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“Why?”

 

 

 

 

I got a email from Fayon of her sending a pic our twins. She asked why Nova kept calling her “psycho” and why Apollo kept calling her “cray cray”. I’m happy to know my kids remember the correct name for Fayon. I miss them. I miss them more after seeing this pic of them. She mention about the septuplets were doing fine. Meh.. I guess that’s nice but my only interest were the twins. She goes about how she misses me and how she loves me and blah blah. I don’t care, I just want my twins back here. She mention how they confirm that Aries is a true alien-genie. I actually think that’s pretty cool. If he has my genie powers then I guess that’s okay by me. She can return Aries along with Apollo and Nova and stay up there with the others for all I care.

 

Love For The Fellas: It’s my turn! – Celsia’s intro

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Hey hey hey! It’s me Celsia Montigo. I know a bunch of y’all been reading Borage’s story but I’ll tell ya this. MY story is much better than his! I keep it real and I’m not a dumb ass like stupid over there!

 

 

 

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So my dumb ass twin thinks he can be the only playa in this family? I think not! I’m about to show this fool how you do it. He thinks he can bang 1000 ladies cause he wanna be some big playa like dad. Negro please! I think I can get to my goal before he does. But it looks like he got some issues going on right. I’m so gonna win this!

 

 

 

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This be my house! Nice ain’t it? Being a Montigo is fabulous. Were so big money! My grandpa got me this house when I told him that I wanted to live in Hidden Springs. I think I might be his favorite cause this house is hella nice for real! You gotta see this shit but I’ll show ya later. Borage had to buy his own house but I didn’t Na na na boo boo! You suck!

 

 

 

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Like my twin. I’m a genie too! Who needs a maid or butler when you got genie powers? I still want one. It’s gonna be lonely living in this big house by myself.

 

 

 

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My days are pretty simple. I start out each day with a glass of vodka and grape soda.

 

 

 

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This town seems a bit bland but I have big plans for this bougie town. I’m a Montigo and I’m gonna show this town how to live like a Montigo. I don’t want them getting jealous of my Montigo fabulousness. I guess I should tell you a little bit about my past before I got here. You all know about Borage so much. You got to know me too and see I’m better.

 

 

 

This is me being held by asshole aka dad.

 

 

 

My mama carried Borage. Lame! She should of carried me. I’m the better twin but I think mama favorite him more.

 

 

 

Here’s me and dumb ass Borage. How cute, we were wearing matching sailor suits. Why couldn’t mama drown Borage in the ocean instead.

 

 

 

Mama always spent more time with Borage when she was sober than me! What makes him so special? Oh it’s cause he looked like our asshole dad more. I guess but she should of still paid me more attention too.

 

 

 

“Cece is dumb dumb.”

 

 

 

 

“Borage gay.”

 

 

 

 

Borage and I had 3 sister-cousins cause dad is a nasty ho daddy. He fucked my aunt Rosette too. He is so gross. He be gettin’ in the fam cause he nasty like that.

 

 

 

 

Speaking of asshole, I don’t think he ever been to any of m birthdays? What a asshole!

 

 

 

The only dad I did know was my step dad Max.  He was always around, playing with us and teaching us to make really strong drinks where you don’t even need roofies.

 

 

 

We might of not been his kids but he treated us like we were his. Even if he’s stupid dumb ass most of the time. He’s more of a dad to me than asshole.

 

 

 

My mom told me not to give him such a hard time. He tried to be around more. She said he was the one who taught me how to walk. I still don’t care really.

 

 

 

 

I came from a party house and all we did was party. This is totally a normal thing. I’m gonna have so many underwear parties in my new house. I can’t wait!

 

 

 

 

My childhood was okay I guess. I had lots of toys to play with and stuff. Most of the time I was sampling Max’s new drinks that he makes. I learned to love vodka and grape soda when I was  8 years old.

 

 

 

 

My sister-cousins got to see dad more than Borage and I. I guess he liked them better.

 

 

 

 

I never understood this wall. It was called the party wall. I guess it was a Montigo thing to party by a wall.

 

 

 

The teen years were fun. We got to cause so much chaos in the streets but my family didn’t care. They were always drunk and passed out somewhere.

 

 

 

All we ever ate was cake cause everyone was too lazy to cook real food. We did keep in shape by running from the police.

 

 

 

We made it to our adult years without dying! That’s a big deal where I come from.

 

 

 

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And here’s my family. My parents and my twin. My parents did have another set of twins but I never met them. We look like a happy and loving family right?

 

 

 

 

 

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Yeah right! This is the reality of my family.

 

 

 

“Ugh I just wanna punch you in the face.”

“You live by a lake now, right? Find your way to it and drown.”

 

 

 

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Some of you all know the famous ho daddy Liam Gelman from Twinbrook. I wanna punch him in his goofy face. I say he’s a ho daddy cause he keep makin’ dem babies all over the world without care of how we gonna be like. He made some many damn babies. I can’t keep count of them.  He fucks anything that has 2 legs and tits. I hope he gets probed by aliens for being a ho daddy. Quit makin’ dem bay bays!

 

 

 

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I don’t even call him dad cause he’s not much of a dad to me. I call him asshole. It suits him well. I was born Celsia Nicole Montigo-Gelman but I dropped the Gelman from my name. Why should I carry his name when he was never around? Borage is so proud, he kept his dumb ass name. Max didn’t want any kids mama had that wasn’t his to carry his name. Mama wanted us to know that we were a part of “dad”. I want no part of him.

 

 

 

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He wants to make it up to me for not being around so much. But it’s a little too late. I don’t need you in my life.

 

 

 

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I love my mama even if she favors Borage. I have hope she’ll favor me too one day. I want to be like mama. I got her beauty and all. I want to make mama proud of me.

 

 

 

Mama and my aunt were the top strippers in Starlight Shores before they quit and moved to Riverview to raise us. I’m gonna mama proud by carrying her stripper legacy. I’m gonna be a world famous stripper! My name is be known! Since I’m a genie and I be sparkling  and shit. My stage name will be, Glitter Juice. That’s hot!

 

 

 

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Do I really have to say something about dumb ass other than he’s a dumb ass? Yes he’s my twin. You know by now.

 

 

 

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I might not like him, I may hate him a little but he’s still my twin buddy. I do care about him even he’s a dumb ass. I’m kinda disappointed that he’s talking about dropping his playa status to marry some girl when his dumb ass is already married to a cray cray alien lady. How am I’m gonna compete with him if he quits? I hope this girl is worth it. I wish him and her the best. But I’m upset that he’s trynna quit. We Montigos! We don’t quit! But he found love. I guess it’s a good reason. I hope it last, dummy. 

 

 

 

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I have a handful of siblings on my mama’s side. She don’t have so much as asshole does. She ain’t trynna be a ho mama like asshole. The sister that I’m closest is to Erica. She’s a genie like me. Erica keeps it hood and that’s what I love about her. She might have a thousand different personalities but she’s still my ride or die bitch! She mention how she thought my dad was hot. I wanted to slap her for that comment. She dropped off the face of the earth for a while. I wonder what’s she up to. She better not trynna be another baby mama of my ho of dad. I don’t need any nephew-brothers or niece-sisters. It’s bad enough that I have sister-brother-cousins.

 

 

 

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This is my youngest sister Fiona. I don’t know why she thinks Borage is so cool. She wants to be a DJ like him. I guess but she should join me and carrying our mama’s stripper legacy. I’ll support whatever Fifi wants to do. She’s a good kid.

 

 

 

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She does carrying on the legacy of trolling Uncle Finn.

 

 

 

If  I’m going to be a famous stripper then I need to find a club but Hidden Springs is so bougie and doesn’t have one. I guess I’ll be building my own strip club. I think I’ll build on in my house. I like this room. It’s pink. It’s perfect. I’ll name my club Pink Pussy! This is gonna make the men come! Getting my goal of 1000 men is gonna be easy like my ho daddy.

 

 

 

My aunt liked my idea and wanted to stay for a while. I guess having her around for a little bit would be cool. Maybe she can give me some tips.

 

 

 

“Cece, how often does your daddy come visit you? I wanna see my boo lova as much as possible.”

 

 

 

 

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I know how Borage got 18 kids so far in his journey but I’m not gonna be stupid like him. I hate kids. They are so annoying! I’m gonna protect my eggs from turning into babies.

 

 

 

 

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I think drinking a lot of rum and coke will kill my eggs. That’s how I’m going to protect myself from babies. All that sperm is gonna be so sad when they see I ain’t got no eggs! Borage said rum kills eggs, and my cousin Regret said the same thing. That’s why she won’t drink rum cause she wants her eggs but she said aliens are trying to steal them. She’s stupid!

 

 

 

 

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I can’t wait til I start my journeys It’s gonna be so fun. I’m not gonna end up having rapist aliens in my house like dumb ass and falling in love. I’m gonna stick to my goals, whatever it takes. I’m gonna hit that stupid fish with this rock. Stupid fish swimming all up in my lake. You didn’t pay for this shit, you scaly bastards! 

 

 

 

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I’m glad that I picked this place to live. It’s so pretty here. I should greet my neighbors and let them know about me.

 

 

 

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“Hi new neighbors! I’m Celsia Montigo! Oh don’t act like you never seen a naked woman before!

 

 

 

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“I can get use to this. HEY! I see you checking out my nice body. I know you want a piece of this hot coochie! Wait come back!”

 

 

 

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“Oh shit I gotta pee like right now. I guess I can do it right here. No one would know. But this is about to be my lake anyway. I’m marking it! Fall back bitches!”

Love For The Ladies: Chapter 29, The Unknown

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I had a strange dream last where my dad walked into room with a sad look on his while wearing his outdated pimp clothes. I’ve never seen my dad like this before and was curious of why he was so sad. I could see the hurt in his eyes. At first I thought maybe my crazy aunt Rosette moved next door to him. That would be anyone’s night mare. But he stood there for a while staring at me and not saying a word. I started to get a eerie feeling and the cold started to get cold suddenly. My dad stood there quiet still but he finally said something to me.

 

 

 

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“Forgive her, son. It wasn’t her fault. I shouldn’t have pressure her. You have to forgive her. I don’t blame you if you never spoke to me again. Forgive her.” 

Is what my dad said to me. I didn’t know what to think of it. It was so random. Who could he talking about? Lois? Why? Why would I need to forgive her. Why wouldn’t I speak to him again? This dream wasn’t making any sense. I asked him what was he talking about but he said nothing and faded away. I woke up feeling a bit warm and was sweating. My head started to ache. I didn’t know what to think of this dream. Then I thought. It’s just a dream, it means nothing.

 

 

 

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Lois was still not acting like herself. It was near the end of the day and I saw Lois down by the beach, staring into the water. I watched how the wind tossed her braids around and she would toss them back. I notice how nice her ass look from my angle. I wonder what she’s thinking about. I’ve never seen her like this.

 

 

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I walked down to the beach. I felt maybe Lois would use some company. We usually watch the sunset together. I thought watching it on the beach together would be beautiful.

 

 

 

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But I could see something is up. Lois drops in her into her hands as she were crying. But why? Why would Lois be crying?

 

 

 

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I wonder if it’s something I had done. Maybe I’ve been too much for her or maybe I wasn’t showing her enough love. I can’t understand what’s making her upset. Maybe it’s cause of the 7 hell spawns I shot out of my ass. She said she was okay. I wonder what I do. I wonder how I was going to make it up to her, whatever I had done.

 

 

 

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I should go comfort her. I can’t seeing Lois be so upset that she in tears. Whatever I had done to her, I’m sure I could possibly make it up. I want to see that smiling face of hers again.

 

 

 

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“Lois what’s wrong? Are you upset about something? I’m sorry if I’m the problem.”

“Oh Borage! You haven’t done anything. I’m just…feeling a little off. I’m not sure what it is. You haven’t anything to me. You can’t put on yourself if I’m upset or anything.”

“Everyone else I’m the fault of their issues all the time. I guess maybe I am.”

“Those people are jerk, Borage. You can’t be the blame of every misfortune in their lives. It takes two to tango.”

 

 

 

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“I thought I wasn’t showing you enough love. I’m sorry I’ve been a lot of time with Apollo and Nova. That psycho is about to take them away from me for 6 years. I want them to remember me and remember Fayon is the crazy one.”

 

 

 

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“Borage, I think it’s great that you’re spending time with them before they go. I know you love me a lot. I’m not worried about that. I just have a lot on my mind and needed some time to think. Now PC is asking for a little brother or sister from me. She has plenty of little sibling plus the septulets now. I thought about having a baby. But I don’t know. How would Fayon react? I know she’s leaving but she’ll be back in a few years. I want a child with you but I want it done the right way.” 

 

 

 

 

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I knew what she meant when she said the right way. Marriage. I thought about a lot about in the past days. I grabbed her and held her close. I gazed into her sparkling eyes. She started to blush as I tried to kiss her on her cheek.  I was ready to ask her.

 

 

 

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Marry me, Lois. Be my wife.

 

 

 

 

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“What? Are you serious? You’re asking me to be your wife?”

I caught Lois by surprise. I lifted her up in the air and sprung her around.

“Say you’ll be my wife, Lois.”

 

 

 

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“Yes. I’ll be your wife. But Borage, how? You’re still married to Fayon.”

“I know but I thought of something. Fayon is a alien. I’m sure there’s a loophole that my marriage to a alien isn’t legal.”

“I never thought about that. It could be true. Fayon isn’t a registered citizen, maybe the marriage in invalid.”

“That’s what my mom thinks. I’ll look into it so we can finally be official and have another baby.”

“What if she tries to blow you up?”

“I’m not worried about that. If I die, at least I knew what love feels like and knowing you’re the one I gave my heart to. I’m sure Pedro could help us. He’s on our side. He doesn’t want her married to me. Even if Pedro keeps putting unwanted babies in me, he’s still my best friend. He will help us.”

 

 

 

 

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I may of not have a ring for her but we are officially engaged even if I’m already technically married to Fayon. But can you even count it when the person is from out of space? I embraced Lois with a tender kiss as we sat in the warm sand. We watched the sun set finally. I can’t believe she’s going to be my real wife one day soon. But the baby talk has got me thinking.

 

 

 

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“Why wait any longer, Lois? Let’s try and have a baby now. I’m ready.”

 

 

 

 

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“Hey Lois, how are you?”

“Oh hey Liam. You kinda scared me. Please tell me that you didn’t see us.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing Liam. Let’s just say I will be your daughter-in-law soon when Borage and I find out if his marriage to Fayon is valid. He asked me to marry him and I said yes.”

“Well I guess congrats are in order.”

 

 

 

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“But Liam… I just don’t deserve him! Borage is a wonderful man  and I can’t.. I just can’t..”

“Lois?”

“After we had done that one night.. If he knew. He would be hurt. I feel awful! Why? Why did we do what we did?!”

” Maybe it wasn’t a good idea but what’s done is done.”

“Don’t you even feel a little bad? I feel awful!”

“Yeah it wasn’t good idea. But what my son doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Just pretend that it didn’t happen.”

 

 

 

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“So we should act like nothing had happen? If only it was that easy. I have so much guilt in my soul. I can’t pretend like nothing went on between us.”

“You had a moment of weakness and wasn’t sure about things. It’s okay, you’re only humans. People make mistakes. Try and pretend nothing happen that night.”

“You seem like you don’t care about this whole thing. Don’t you care about your son’s feelings?”

“I do care about Borage’s feelings but pretending this never happen will protect him.”

“I guess you’re about that.”

 

 

 

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I notice my dad was talking to Lois. I wonder what they were talking about. Lois seemed to be a little bothered by my dad. Please don’t tell me that he’s trying to hit on her. I will punch him in the face if he tries anything with her.

“What’s up guys? Am I missing something?”

“No, Lois and I were just chatting about casual stuff.”

“Yeah that’s what were talking about.”

Lois seemed a little nervous about something. Maybe my dad gives her a odd vibe. I know my dad can be creepy sometimes. I don’t blame her.

“He isn’t trying to ask you to be another baby mama of his. I’ll punch you in the throat, old boner if you’ll try. Lois is mine, she isn’t going to be another baby mama of yours.”

“I know that, Borage. I’m just talking with her and getting to know her. Congrats on the engagement. Let me know the date of the wedding. I will attend.”

“Thanks old boner. Maybe you can walk her down the aisle. Lois’ dad passed away a long time.”

“Sure, I could do that.”

 

 

 

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Tonight was a good night to hang out at the fire pit. I asked Lois if she wanted to join me and my dad but she said she couldn’t and she wasn’t feeling good. I told her I would cuddle with her in bed after giving her some soup so she would feel better. She told me she’ll be fine and to hang with me dad. Then she left so quickly. It was strange but women do act strange all the time. Or maybe my dad is just smelly and she don’t wanna be around him.

 

 

 

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I lit up my fire pit and sat down with my dad. He roasted some marshmallows while I roasted a watermelon. I think this would be cool to do. Roast a watermelon. I bet it’s gonna be as tasty as Lois’ lips. She tastes like a watermelon sometimes. I think it’s the whole being black thing. She’s black and loves eating watermelon like my grandmama. She’s black too and I’m a quarter black so this is natural for me.

 

 

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“This is pretty nice. Do I wanna ask about the watermelon.”

“I’m getting in touch with my black roots, old boner.”

“Um, okay. I knew I shouldn’t had said anything.”

 

 

 

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Then my dad burned his dumb marshmallows. That was hella funny. You should of seen his face when his marshmallows lit up like a candle stick.

 

 

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But then my dad must of jinx me cause my melon caught on fire. What asshole! I bet it was gonna be tasty. Now I’ll never now. His whiteness ruined my melon. I disliked him for 5 minutes.

 

 

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“This taste like shit.”

“It wasn’t a good idea to even roast a watermelon.”

“Shut up old boner! Eat your burnt marshmallows!”

 

 

 

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Since I seen my dad talking with Lois I was curious about what he thinks about her since she’s going to be his daughter-in-law one day.

“So whatcha think about her?”

“She seems nice and she’s pretty. Looks like you got lucky there.”

“Yeah, I just wonder how did I get so lucky.”

“I guess you’ll be divorcing the alien soon.”

“I don’t think our marriage is even valid. She’s a damn alien. Those don’t count, do they?”

“I can’t say for sure.”

 

 

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“Well that fuckin’ alien tricked me into marrying her and threatens to blow me  and not in the good way either.”

“Ha ha ha.”

“It’s not funny, old boner. She’s a nut case. Maybe worse than Rosette.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure out something soon. I got a feeling the alien won’t like it.”

“I don’t care what Fayon thinks. I just want her gone for good.”

 

 

 

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“Mind if I join in.”

“Did you have to bring one of those demon hell spawns with you, mama?”

“I like my new grandbaby, Bubba.”

“I like staying away from those abominations. I’ll be happy once those 7 monsters are out of my house.”

 

 

 

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“Bubba, why are you so mean to these little precious babies? You gave birth to them. Little Fred reminds me of you when you were a little baby, Bubba.”

“How can a freak space baby remind you of me?”

“He cries a lot like when I dropped you on your head when you were a baby. I’m getting better at holding babies. I kinda miss having a little baby around.”

“You dropped me on my head, mama?”

“Yep and you turned out well still!”

 

 

 

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“So that explains everything, Zin. You dropped Borage as a baby? Did you dropped Celsia on her head too? I wouldn’t put it pass Rosette for dropping the triplets too.”

“Mama is right, old boner! I did turn out well. But Celsia is just a stupid bitch by nature. And Rosette said she feed the cocktail bitches after which ever drink they were named after of.”

“Tell me you’re not serious?”

 

 

 

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“Liam, the kids came out find under Rose and me care. Borage is as sexy as you Liam. But I hate you now.”

“See old boner, I came out good.”

“Zin? Wait you hate me? Why?”

“Fuck off, Liam.”

 

 

 

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I’m not sure why my mom was suddenly mean to my dad. I’ve never seen her act like this before but I didn’t care really. My dad was stunned and was curious about what’s my mom’s deal but she kept telling him to go to hell. Dad gave up on asking and soon we all heard Rosette’s loud. I knew it wasn’t long before she shown up.

 

 

 

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The rest of the night was good as I had a bonfire with my parents and stupid aunt. I mention how fun this was and hope to do this again with my parents. Mama smiled at me and said she’ll play nice with dad as long as it makes me happy. This night would be perfect if my love was down here spending time with her future in-laws. I wonder if she’s feeling better. I think I’ll call it a night and check on my Lois flower.

 

 

 

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“When you gonna cut the crap and get freak nasty with me, boo love?! I’m only here for you Liam! Ditch these losers and let’s make sweet love. You can’t leave until we fuck! We always make love when we see each other. Put out or get out!”

“Oh Rose..”

“I want Borage’s stupid neighbors to know our names. They won’t until we start fucking!”

 

 

 

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Tonight was the night Pedro and Fayon planned to leave for 6 years. I didn’t want them to take Apollo and Nova but Fayon didn’t want to leave them here. I hugged Nova as tight as I could. I held her in my arms, not wanting to let her go. I told her to not forget about me.

“Remember kid, Mama is psycho and I’m big daddy pimpin’. Daddy good, mama bad.”

“Dada pimpin’! Mama psycho!”

“Yes, that’s right! Remember me, Nova. Daddy is going to miss you.”

“No leave dada!”

“I’m sorry..Nova. I wish you could stay.”

 

 

 

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I held Apollo just as tight and told him the same thing I told his twin. I really did like these alien kids even if I hated their mother. It’s not their fault that they have Fayon for a mom but I didn’t trust her with them. They might come back crazy like her and I won’t like them anymore. It was painful listening to twins cry for me as Pedro and Fayon loaded them in a space pod. I wanted to rid it open and take my kids out. I didn’t care much for the 7 demons. I’m glad they are gone but I’ll miss my twins dearly.

 

 

 

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“Remember me. Daddy will miss you, Apollo.”

 

 

 

 

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“I guess you guys are leaving. I’m going to miss you Pedro and hope you have a safe trip. But before you go, can you make it where Borage and I can finally get married. I’m certain his marriage with Fayon isn’t valid on Earth.”

 

 

 

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“I would help. I no like marriage of sister and Borage. But cannot help as you not honest with Borage. Child is not of Borage. Please make right with Borage first before child.”

 

 

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“Child not of Borage? Huh what does that mean? I’m not honest with Borage? What are you talking about, Pedro? Please, we need your help now.”

 

 

 

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“You will know of child. Time. You know you not be honest with Borage. Make right with Borage and I will help. If you do not now, Borage won’t forgive. Good luck Lois. I see you in 6 years. It is of boy, Lois. You see.”

 

 

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“Pedro is strange alien guy. I have no idea what he’s talking about. None of it makes sense. Pedro isn’t on our side, I guess. I wonder how he knew about Liam and I. He’s right, I am not honest with Borage but if he knew.. he won’t forgive me and it wouldn’t matter how soon I told him. He’ll hate Liam. I don’t want to ruin their father and son relationship let alone yours. I’ll take Liam’s advice and act like nothing happen. Borage must never know.”