Love For The Ladies: Chapter 30, Prank War

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I had spent most of the day with my parents, going out to eat and sight seeing with them. I felt bad for neglecting my lady for most of the day but she said she understood and hanged out with the kids while I was with my parents. I told her how I was going to make it up to her in the hot tub. I remember hearing about the hot tub is a good place to make a baby in. I guess Lois and I should give this a try or a few tries. I don’t mind doing this more than once. I just hoped that Fayon took out her alien water first. I don’t want our baby coming out all fucked up.

 

 

 

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“We can start that baby making right now if you want.”

“Here? Right now?”

“Why not? I heard the hot tub is the perfect place to make a baby.”

“I heard that’s true but what about the kids? They could see us.”

“Naw.. they are busy plotting evil. They’re not thinking about us. Let’s get back to baby making.”

“Okay if you want to.”

 

 

 

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“Hey guys, we should have a prank war. What do you guys think?”

 

 

 

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“Yeah we should totally do that! Let’s all just prank Papa for scoring since he’s lame.”

 

 

 

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“Prank grandfather? Why do such a childish thing? What has grandfather ever done to us?”

 

 

 

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“He did nothing but be a lame grandparent who isn’t a pimp daddy like you losers had hoped.  Don’t be such a lame ass too, L2.”

 

 

 

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“I think a prank war on granddad would be fun. The Brain Llama agrees with me on this. Were in. You should join in L2, the Brain Llama will be pleased.”

 

 

 

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“I guess I’ll join too. Pranking granddaddy is gonna be too fun. I have all kinds of ideas. But what happens to the one who pranks granddaddy the most?”

 

 

 

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“Can we join too? I’m only 12 but I’ll be a teen next year! I wanna prank grandpa too. He’s so lame and not pimpin’. You guys gotta let us join in too.”

 

 

 

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“If Morde can join then I’m joining too. I wanna prank Papa too. And I’m gonna win. You’re all losers!”

 

 

 

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“This sucks for me. I’m stuck in the wheelchair. I can’t do much pranking in this. I guess I could keep score then.”

 

 

 

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“You guys are in, sorry Mimi maybe you can send him a dirty email? Whoever pranks grandpa the most is the ultimate  supreme ruler of the house and doesn’t have to do chores for a year.”

 

 

 

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“One, none of us ever do chores as most of you have genie powers anyway. And two, it isn’t fair to prank grandfather for no reason. This whole is unfair and very childish.”

 

 

 

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“L2, it would be fun. You need to join in. The Brain Llama will attack your dreams if you don’t.”

“Lilah is right about only one, you need to join in. It will be fun L2. It’s not childish. Were only teens.”

 

 

 

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“Yeah L2, don’t be a lame ass or we’ll start pranking you.”

 

 

 

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“I’m not joining in but if you need my help with anything, I’ll help you but this doesn’t means I’m a part of your foolish games.”

 

 

 

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“I know Liam will be washing the dishes soon. I say he needs to be cleaned up too since he’s such a dirty baby making whore.”

 

 

 

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“I’ll give this dishes a quick wash-“

“AGGRRRRRHHH!”

 

 

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“Borage! I think your sink is broken!”

“Ha ha ha ha ha!”

“What on earth is so funny Luna?”

 

 

 

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“Yes Brain Llama! I agree! Granddad would look lovely with cyan hair.”

 

 

 

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“My hair! What is going on? Someone must be playing a trick on me… I hope this washes out!”

 

 

 

 

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“Why is my dad in the bathroom yelling?”

 

 

 

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“Everyone is pranking him daddy. Oops.. I wasn’t suppose to tell. Is everyone gonna get in trouble, daddy?”

 

 

 

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“No.. I don’t care. I think it’s funny. Keep on pranking my dad but you little jerks better not pull that same shit on me or else.”

 

 

 

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“Or else what, daddy?”

 

 

 

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“I’ll make you all go live with your lame grandpa.”

“Daddy! That’s terrible!”

 

 

 

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“Mimi sent grandpa the nasty email now I just need to set up a little scary screen for him.”

 

 

 

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“Now to check my email and-“

*GIMME BABIES!*

 

 

 

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“WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT!”

 

 

 

 

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“Okay… who sent me this email of the nanny laying naked on the bed saying she wants my baby?”

 

 

 

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“MiKaia! Dinner is ready! Come in and wash up!”

 

 

 

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“No! Your cooking is lame like you, Papa! But you can wash up!”

 

 

 

 

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“You get down here right now, young lady!”

 

 

 

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“Don’t even say anything, L2. This chair is for grandpa.”

 

 

 

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“Mordecai, you know that is a wrong thing to do to grandfather.”

“No it’s not. It’s not like it’s going to hurt him.”

“True but it’s still not right. Grandpa has been nothing but nice to us and this is how we treat him?”

“Dad should of named you Lame.2. You talk too much.”

 

 

 

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“Mind if I join you boys?”

*fart noise*

Mordecai and Liam.2 snickers.

 

 

 

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“You two wouldn’t have anything to do with this whoopie cushion?”

 

 

 

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“Sorry grandfather, it wasn’t one of us. It must of been one of the others.”

“Yeah grandpa, it was one of the others. Not us, were the good grandkids. We got black hair like you. Were the favorites right?”

 

 

 

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“Morde, like I told your sister I don’t play favorites like your dad does. I love you equally.”

“Gosh you’re so lame, grandpa.”

“I don’t think you’re lame, grandfather. I think you’re cool.”

“Thanks, L2. I think you’re the first to say that.”

“So is L2 your fave now? It’s cause he has your lame name. L2 is such a kiss ass.”

 

 

 

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“Hey L2, remember you said you’ll help if we needed anything?”

“Yeah.”

“Use your super nerd powers and create something that will make Papa pee once he drinks it.”

 

 

 

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“That’s pretty evil, sis but a promise is a promise. I can at least try but I can’t promise if I’ll have the potion ready before grandfather heads home.”

“Well, then try and try hard.”

“I will, I’ll see what I can do.”

 

 

 

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“I don’t think why I even agree to this… I guess I just wanted to fit in with the others.”

 

 

 

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“Luna, it is time. Time for you transform.”

“Will it hurt, Suziu?”

“It will not. Transform is painless.”

“I miss you, Suziu. When will you be back?”

“I come back in 6 year. I miss you and Bora Bora. I will back in 2 weeks for visit.”

 

 

 

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“Why Suziu?”

“To bring you here on Ziharia.”

“Just me? What about Bora Bora?”

“Transform is complete. I have to go. Tell Bora Bora hi for me.”

“But Suziu…”

 

 

 

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“Who in the hell is that freak alien kid talking to?”

 

 

 

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I don’t get why Luna never goes to bed but Bora Bora does. I just wish she did so I could do my nightly naked swim but she stayed outside doing her weird alien shit. I didn’t feel like waiting on her to go away so I took my night time naked swim anyway. She didn’t seem to notice cause she was still doing her alien shit. 

 

 

 

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It felt so nice being all free and feeling the cool night breeze on my sexy body. Then Luna took notice.

“Really dumb ass? No one wants to see that.”

“Don’t like, then rip your eyes out, bitch.”

“I wish I could after seeing your gross body, dumb ass.”

“And I wish you could go one day without being a bitch.”  

            “The day I won’t be such a bitch is the day when you’re actually smart.”

 

 

 

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“Um… Daddy. Why are you naked? I can see your …everything.”

 

 

 

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“Sorry about that baby cake.. I didn’t know you were out here. I’m not a shame of my nakedness. You all should be proud of your nice body if you have one like me. But you better not be showing any of these boys anything of yours baby cake or I’m going to hurt someone. But I don’t care what you do Luna. You’re probably just gonna be some alien bitch whore.”

 

 

 

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“Good morning, Luna. You’re looking a little different. Is this a normal thing?”

 

 

 

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“……”

 

 

 

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“Luna, are you okay?”

 

 

 

 

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“Of course I am fine, stupid human. Let’s play doctor! I need to heal you from your nasty whore disease of being a  baby making whore! My buzz saws can fix this problem of yours, Liam!”

 

 

 

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“ARE THOSE THINGS REAL LUNA! PLEASE PUT IT AWAY!”

 

 

 

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“OF COURSE THESE ARE REAL, YOU SCUM OF THE EARTH. I HATE YOUR PROMISCUOUS WAYS! YOU MUST BE STOPPED! YOU MADE ONE MISTAKE BY CREATING BORAGE! NOW I MUST END THIS BY CUTTING OFF YOUR DICK YOU WORTHLESS ASSHOLE!”

 

 

 

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“LUNA! YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS! PLEASE PUT THAT AWAY NOW! I HAVE MY REASONS OF WHY I DO WHAT I DO!”

 

 

 

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“Chill out, Liam! You should see the look on your face. Priceless! You are so much fun to troll. Muhahahaha!”

 

 

 

 

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“Seriously.. What’s gotten you into you kids?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I guess I’m a little a shame of being naked around baby cake. I had no idea she was even outside. So I decided to try on my new swim shorts. They are a little tight but I kinda like how they feel around my balls. But if I get a hard on, my dick would probably be in my ass.

 

 

 

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But since my kids went off to school now… Naked time.

 

 

 

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“Hey, you two wouldn’t mind if I hang out with ya. We haven’t gotten to know each much. It’s been almost a week since you ladies been here and we haven’t had any chit chat yet. I should get to know my soon to be mother-in-law.”

 

 

 

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“I know enough about you to know that you’re no good for my son. That’s all you need to know, Hois.

 

 

 

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“Damn Zin, what crawled up your cooch and died? You been mean to my lova boo and now her?”

“Well Rose.. I know I might not be perfect but at least I’m upfront with Max when I want to be a slut. I’ll be like, “Hey Max, I just cheated on you again.” And he’ll be like. “Okay Zin, it’s cool but it better not be with Liam again.” We have a understanding.”

“I don’t even have to tell Finn, he already know and deals with it. If he wanna stay rich then he better keep wearing that Liam mask.”

 

 

 

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“I don’t know what you mean by that but I’m sorry if I did anything to offend you, Zinnia.”

Could she possibly know about Liam and I? But how? I wonder if she saw us? I wonder if she told Borage if she did see me and Liam together that one night. Oh no… I hope that isn’t true.. This could ruin everything. Maybe Pedro is right. Maybe I should be honest with Borage. But would he ever forgive me?

 

 

 

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“Granddaddy can do two things at once. Pee and shower. Hehehehe! This is going to be so funny!”

 

 

 

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“Why isn’t this flushing?!”

 

 

 

 

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“UGH! I SWEAR IF THIS IS ANOTHER PRANK…”

 

 

 

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“Papa! I can’t find my glasses! Can you help me?”

 

 

 

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“Sure, I can help you find your glasses. It’s a dark out, do you have a flashlight?”

 

 

 

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“Silly Papa! Aliens don’t wear glasses but we toss balloons full of piss!”

“Ugh…. I should of know better.”

 

 

 

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“Borage before we try baby making again.. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“That you can’t wait to get this genie dick back in ya?”

“Yes but no silly.. It’s more important. There’s something I need to get off my chest.”

“What’s more important than you telling me how much you love me, how you care about me,  how you’re never do anything to hurt me and how you can’t wait to taste this genie dick?”

“Borage…”

“C’mere girl.. Lemme put some magic in ya with this genie dick.”

 

 

 

I’m not sure why Lois was stalling, it’s almost like she changing her mind about having another baby. We made love so many times already, it could already be too late if she decided to change her mind about it. I tasted her lips and she tasted mine. I told her I love her and she told me that she loves me back. I guess maybe she’s not changing her mind.

 

 

 

Something about tonight’s love making was different. Different in a good way. It was more intense, more passionate. If we didn’t make a baby in the nights before, then I think this was the night we did for sure. 

 

 

 

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After making love, it felt good knowing Lois is where she belongs. Sleeping next to me like she should be. We didn’t need to worry about Fayon walking and finding her. This is how it’s suppose to be. 

 

 

 

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“Grandpa wouldn’t mind cyan hair again, would he?”

 

 

 

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“Again with this!”

 

 

 

 

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“You jerks, you can’t set your traps here.”

 

 

 

“There’s no set rules of where we can set our traps, Bora Bora. The Brain Llama said this spot is perfect.”

 

 

 

 

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“Yeah we’ll just tell everyone not to sit in the living room for a while.”

 

 

 

 

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“Ugh…”

 

30 minutes later…

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“…..”

 

One hour later…

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“Seriously? 3 whoopie cushions in here?!”

 

 

 

 

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“This is going to be the best prank ever! I got the toilet. MiKaia, you do the sink and PC you get the shower. This is so awesome! Good thing that idiot Borage doesn’t give a fuck.”

 

 

 

 

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“I like your thinking Luna. Papa isn’t gonna know what hit him after this triple threat.”

 

 

 

 

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“I think after this, granddaddy might not wanna visit us again. Oh well! It was fun while it lasted!”

 

 

 

 

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“I’ve had it with these kids! Borage needs to take control of them!”

 

 

 

 

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My dad wanted to talk to me about something. I could see that he was pissed off about something. I know my kids were pranking him hardcore for the past couple of days but I thought it was pretty funny. I guess my dad was being a spoiled sport about it. That’s no fun.

 

 

 

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“You need to get control of your kids! The first few pranks were okay but now it’s getting ridiculous!”

“Chill dad, it’s just a few pranks. The kids are just having some fun it’s not you’re getting hurt by it.”

 

 

 

 

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“Hurt? Your daughter Luna chased me with a real buzz saw TWICE! I’ve could of gotten hurt! She could of gotten hurt! How can you allow your children to run around with dangerous tools like that? How can you just sit back and let these kids do whatever they please? These kids a very disrespectful,  foul mouthed, and don’t care about anyone’s feelings but their own! I can’t even use the bathroom without being sprayed by the sink or toilet. And every time I shower my hair is a different color of the rainbow! And I had balloons filled with pee thrown at me plus my email being hacked! I’ve had it with your kids! You have terrible parenting skills and may be the most terrible father that I’ve ever seen!” 

 

 

 

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“You think I’m a terrible father? Maybe if I had a father who was actually around more then maybe I would know how to be a “good” father like you. But I didn’t so I do the best that I can do. But I can tell you this, at least my kids are still alive and well. I’ve never had child services threaten to take my kids away nor had a mental nanny who tried to shoot my aunt and possibly my mom. And if your crazy nanny would of hurt my mom then we wouldn’t be speaking. But with that said, I say I’m doing a pretty good job so far in raising my kids. I’m not running around putting babies in any female who comes my way for a selfish reasons and not caring what would be the out come of the child with me not being a part or his or her life. Yeah I made a bunch of kids cause I wasn’t careful but who taking care of them? Their crazy mothers? No! I am! I care about all my kids’ feelings and I spent time with all of them. Even the ones I find annoying. It might seem like Luna and I don’t like each other but that’s our special way of bonding.  Before you call someone a “terrible father” take a good look at yourself first!”

 

 

 

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“Son, I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it.. I’m just so annoyed right now..”

“Talk to the hand cause the face don’t understand!”

“Borage…”

“Me no speak no English.”

“…….”

 

 

 

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My dad told me that he was sorry for things he said to me about being a terrible father. I told him I would talk to the kids but they aren’t gonna listen to me. I never really laid the law down with them before. Usually Greta or Fayon would but neither of them were here. They would listen to Lois since she’s the closest they’ll have for a mom and baby cake for def listen since that is her mom. Lois had a chat with the kids and told them to call off their prank war they had going.

 

 

 

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“So are you just as lame as Papa? He’s a fake pimp. Daddy said he was a pimp but he said he’s not. So what are you?”

“I’m not lame like Liam. I’m a Montigo, we don’t know what lame is.”

“Then what makes you special then?”

“When I use to lives here, I was the top star stripper in this city.”

“Really?!”

 

 

 

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“Yep see, this is me right here. No one could ever pull off this move on the pole.”

“That’s really cool, grandmama! That is really you! You’re a stripper!”

“Yep, your great aunt Rosette was one too. We were both the top dollar, super star strippers! Those days were wonderful until I had your aunt Acacia and married Max. I had to stop. I can return but I like getting drunk a lot and sleep with men who aren’t my husband.”

 

 

 

 

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“That’s awesome. I want to be a stripper and  cheat on my husband when I grow up!”

“I think you’ll make a great stripper one day, Mimi. Your aunt Cece is one and so is Amaretto Sour. I can show you so moves when you’re ready.”

“Won’t you be all old by then?”

“Sweetie, I’m a genie.. I’m immortal. I don’t age.”

“Cool! I can’t wait!”

 

 

 

 

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“So granddad, heard that you didn’t like our prank war. That’s lame. We were having so much fun setting traps and hearing you yell. It was so funny.”

 

 

 

 

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“I don’t think you kids’ little pranks were all the funny. Try being pranked all the time and see how you like it.”

 

 

 

 

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“Actually granddad, I enjoy being pranked. I think it’s funny. I like the cyan hair dye. It looks good on me. Besides the Brain Llama and I are very amused by all the pranks that were played on us. You should stop being so lame.”

 

 

 

 

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“Can we do something normal like watch some TV. I would love to at least enjoy my time here.”

 

 

 

 

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“One day I’m going to marry a alien and have many alien babies as possible. It shall please the Brain Llama.”

 

 

 

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“Why?”

 

 

 

 

I got a email from Fayon of her sending a pic our twins. She asked why Nova kept calling her “psycho” and why Apollo kept calling her “cray cray”. I’m happy to know my kids remember the correct name for Fayon. I miss them. I miss them more after seeing this pic of them. She mention about the septuplets were doing fine. Meh.. I guess that’s nice but my only interest were the twins. She goes about how she misses me and how she loves me and blah blah. I don’t care, I just want my twins back here. She mention how they confirm that Aries is a true alien-genie. I actually think that’s pretty cool. If he has my genie powers then I guess that’s okay by me. She can return Aries along with Apollo and Nova and stay up there with the others for all I care.

 

Love For The Fellas: It’s my turn! – Celsia’s intro

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Hey hey hey! It’s me Celsia Montigo. I know a bunch of y’all been reading Borage’s story but I’ll tell ya this. MY story is much better than his! I keep it real and I’m not a dumb ass like stupid over there!

 

 

 

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So my dumb ass twin thinks he can be the only playa in this family? I think not! I’m about to show this fool how you do it. He thinks he can bang 1000 ladies cause he wanna be some big playa like dad. Negro please! I think I can get to my goal before he does. But it looks like he got some issues going on right. I’m so gonna win this!

 

 

 

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This be my house! Nice ain’t it? Being a Montigo is fabulous. Were so big money! My grandpa got me this house when I told him that I wanted to live in Hidden Springs. I think I might be his favorite cause this house is hella nice for real! You gotta see this shit but I’ll show ya later. Borage had to buy his own house but I didn’t Na na na boo boo! You suck!

 

 

 

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Like my twin. I’m a genie too! Who needs a maid or butler when you got genie powers? I still want one. It’s gonna be lonely living in this big house by myself.

 

 

 

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My days are pretty simple. I start out each day with a glass of vodka and grape soda.

 

 

 

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This town seems a bit bland but I have big plans for this bougie town. I’m a Montigo and I’m gonna show this town how to live like a Montigo. I don’t want them getting jealous of my Montigo fabulousness. I guess I should tell you a little bit about my past before I got here. You all know about Borage so much. You got to know me too and see I’m better.

 

 

 

This is me being held by asshole aka dad.

 

 

 

My mama carried Borage. Lame! She should of carried me. I’m the better twin but I think mama favorite him more.

 

 

 

Here’s me and dumb ass Borage. How cute, we were wearing matching sailor suits. Why couldn’t mama drown Borage in the ocean instead.

 

 

 

Mama always spent more time with Borage when she was sober than me! What makes him so special? Oh it’s cause he looked like our asshole dad more. I guess but she should of still paid me more attention too.

 

 

 

“Cece is dumb dumb.”

 

 

 

 

“Borage gay.”

 

 

 

 

Borage and I had 3 sister-cousins cause dad is a nasty ho daddy. He fucked my aunt Rosette too. He is so gross. He be gettin’ in the fam cause he nasty like that.

 

 

 

 

Speaking of asshole, I don’t think he ever been to any of m birthdays? What a asshole!

 

 

 

The only dad I did know was my step dad Max.  He was always around, playing with us and teaching us to make really strong drinks where you don’t even need roofies.

 

 

 

We might of not been his kids but he treated us like we were his. Even if he’s stupid dumb ass most of the time. He’s more of a dad to me than asshole.

 

 

 

My mom told me not to give him such a hard time. He tried to be around more. She said he was the one who taught me how to walk. I still don’t care really.

 

 

 

 

I came from a party house and all we did was party. This is totally a normal thing. I’m gonna have so many underwear parties in my new house. I can’t wait!

 

 

 

 

My childhood was okay I guess. I had lots of toys to play with and stuff. Most of the time I was sampling Max’s new drinks that he makes. I learned to love vodka and grape soda when I was  8 years old.

 

 

 

 

My sister-cousins got to see dad more than Borage and I. I guess he liked them better.

 

 

 

 

I never understood this wall. It was called the party wall. I guess it was a Montigo thing to party by a wall.

 

 

 

The teen years were fun. We got to cause so much chaos in the streets but my family didn’t care. They were always drunk and passed out somewhere.

 

 

 

All we ever ate was cake cause everyone was too lazy to cook real food. We did keep in shape by running from the police.

 

 

 

We made it to our adult years without dying! That’s a big deal where I come from.

 

 

 

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And here’s my family. My parents and my twin. My parents did have another set of twins but I never met them. We look like a happy and loving family right?

 

 

 

 

 

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Yeah right! This is the reality of my family.

 

 

 

“Ugh I just wanna punch you in the face.”

“You live by a lake now, right? Find your way to it and drown.”

 

 

 

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Some of you all know the famous ho daddy Liam Gelman from Twinbrook. I wanna punch him in his goofy face. I say he’s a ho daddy cause he keep makin’ dem babies all over the world without care of how we gonna be like. He made some many damn babies. I can’t keep count of them.  He fucks anything that has 2 legs and tits. I hope he gets probed by aliens for being a ho daddy. Quit makin’ dem bay bays!

 

 

 

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I don’t even call him dad cause he’s not much of a dad to me. I call him asshole. It suits him well. I was born Celsia Nicole Montigo-Gelman but I dropped the Gelman from my name. Why should I carry his name when he was never around? Borage is so proud, he kept his dumb ass name. Max didn’t want any kids mama had that wasn’t his to carry his name. Mama wanted us to know that we were a part of “dad”. I want no part of him.

 

 

 

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He wants to make it up to me for not being around so much. But it’s a little too late. I don’t need you in my life.

 

 

 

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I love my mama even if she favors Borage. I have hope she’ll favor me too one day. I want to be like mama. I got her beauty and all. I want to make mama proud of me.

 

 

 

Mama and my aunt were the top strippers in Starlight Shores before they quit and moved to Riverview to raise us. I’m gonna mama proud by carrying her stripper legacy. I’m gonna be a world famous stripper! My name is be known! Since I’m a genie and I be sparkling  and shit. My stage name will be, Glitter Juice. That’s hot!

 

 

 

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Do I really have to say something about dumb ass other than he’s a dumb ass? Yes he’s my twin. You know by now.

 

 

 

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I might not like him, I may hate him a little but he’s still my twin buddy. I do care about him even he’s a dumb ass. I’m kinda disappointed that he’s talking about dropping his playa status to marry some girl when his dumb ass is already married to a cray cray alien lady. How am I’m gonna compete with him if he quits? I hope this girl is worth it. I wish him and her the best. But I’m upset that he’s trynna quit. We Montigos! We don’t quit! But he found love. I guess it’s a good reason. I hope it last, dummy. 

 

 

 

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I have a handful of siblings on my mama’s side. She don’t have so much as asshole does. She ain’t trynna be a ho mama like asshole. The sister that I’m closest is to Erica. She’s a genie like me. Erica keeps it hood and that’s what I love about her. She might have a thousand different personalities but she’s still my ride or die bitch! She mention how she thought my dad was hot. I wanted to slap her for that comment. She dropped off the face of the earth for a while. I wonder what’s she up to. She better not trynna be another baby mama of my ho of dad. I don’t need any nephew-brothers or niece-sisters. It’s bad enough that I have sister-brother-cousins.

 

 

 

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This is my youngest sister Fiona. I don’t know why she thinks Borage is so cool. She wants to be a DJ like him. I guess but she should join me and carrying our mama’s stripper legacy. I’ll support whatever Fifi wants to do. She’s a good kid.

 

 

 

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She does carrying on the legacy of trolling Uncle Finn.

 

 

 

If  I’m going to be a famous stripper then I need to find a club but Hidden Springs is so bougie and doesn’t have one. I guess I’ll be building my own strip club. I think I’ll build on in my house. I like this room. It’s pink. It’s perfect. I’ll name my club Pink Pussy! This is gonna make the men come! Getting my goal of 1000 men is gonna be easy like my ho daddy.

 

 

 

My aunt liked my idea and wanted to stay for a while. I guess having her around for a little bit would be cool. Maybe she can give me some tips.

 

 

 

“Cece, how often does your daddy come visit you? I wanna see my boo lova as much as possible.”

 

 

 

 

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I know how Borage got 18 kids so far in his journey but I’m not gonna be stupid like him. I hate kids. They are so annoying! I’m gonna protect my eggs from turning into babies.

 

 

 

 

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I think drinking a lot of rum and coke will kill my eggs. That’s how I’m going to protect myself from babies. All that sperm is gonna be so sad when they see I ain’t got no eggs! Borage said rum kills eggs, and my cousin Regret said the same thing. That’s why she won’t drink rum cause she wants her eggs but she said aliens are trying to steal them. She’s stupid!

 

 

 

 

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I can’t wait til I start my journeys It’s gonna be so fun. I’m not gonna end up having rapist aliens in my house like dumb ass and falling in love. I’m gonna stick to my goals, whatever it takes. I’m gonna hit that stupid fish with this rock. Stupid fish swimming all up in my lake. You didn’t pay for this shit, you scaly bastards! 

 

 

 

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I’m glad that I picked this place to live. It’s so pretty here. I should greet my neighbors and let them know about me.

 

 

 

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“Hi new neighbors! I’m Celsia Montigo! Oh don’t act like you never seen a naked woman before!

 

 

 

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“I can get use to this. HEY! I see you checking out my nice body. I know you want a piece of this hot coochie! Wait come back!”

 

 

 

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“Oh shit I gotta pee like right now. I guess I can do it right here. No one would know. But this is about to be my lake anyway. I’m marking it! Fall back bitches!”

Love For The Ladies: Chapter 29, The Unknown

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I had a strange dream last where my dad walked into room with a sad look on his while wearing his outdated pimp clothes. I’ve never seen my dad like this before and was curious of why he was so sad. I could see the hurt in his eyes. At first I thought maybe my crazy aunt Rosette moved next door to him. That would be anyone’s night mare. But he stood there for a while staring at me and not saying a word. I started to get a eerie feeling and the cold started to get cold suddenly. My dad stood there quiet still but he finally said something to me.

 

 

 

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“Forgive her, son. It wasn’t her fault. I shouldn’t have pressure her. You have to forgive her. I don’t blame you if you never spoke to me again. Forgive her.” 

Is what my dad said to me. I didn’t know what to think of it. It was so random. Who could he talking about? Lois? Why? Why would I need to forgive her. Why wouldn’t I speak to him again? This dream wasn’t making any sense. I asked him what was he talking about but he said nothing and faded away. I woke up feeling a bit warm and was sweating. My head started to ache. I didn’t know what to think of this dream. Then I thought. It’s just a dream, it means nothing.

 

 

 

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Lois was still not acting like herself. It was near the end of the day and I saw Lois down by the beach, staring into the water. I watched how the wind tossed her braids around and she would toss them back. I notice how nice her ass look from my angle. I wonder what she’s thinking about. I’ve never seen her like this.

 

 

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I walked down to the beach. I felt maybe Lois would use some company. We usually watch the sunset together. I thought watching it on the beach together would be beautiful.

 

 

 

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But I could see something is up. Lois drops in her into her hands as she were crying. But why? Why would Lois be crying?

 

 

 

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I wonder if it’s something I had done. Maybe I’ve been too much for her or maybe I wasn’t showing her enough love. I can’t understand what’s making her upset. Maybe it’s cause of the 7 hell spawns I shot out of my ass. She said she was okay. I wonder what I do. I wonder how I was going to make it up to her, whatever I had done.

 

 

 

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I should go comfort her. I can’t seeing Lois be so upset that she in tears. Whatever I had done to her, I’m sure I could possibly make it up. I want to see that smiling face of hers again.

 

 

 

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“Lois what’s wrong? Are you upset about something? I’m sorry if I’m the problem.”

“Oh Borage! You haven’t done anything. I’m just…feeling a little off. I’m not sure what it is. You haven’t anything to me. You can’t put on yourself if I’m upset or anything.”

“Everyone else I’m the fault of their issues all the time. I guess maybe I am.”

“Those people are jerk, Borage. You can’t be the blame of every misfortune in their lives. It takes two to tango.”

 

 

 

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“I thought I wasn’t showing you enough love. I’m sorry I’ve been a lot of time with Apollo and Nova. That psycho is about to take them away from me for 6 years. I want them to remember me and remember Fayon is the crazy one.”

 

 

 

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“Borage, I think it’s great that you’re spending time with them before they go. I know you love me a lot. I’m not worried about that. I just have a lot on my mind and needed some time to think. Now PC is asking for a little brother or sister from me. She has plenty of little sibling plus the septulets now. I thought about having a baby. But I don’t know. How would Fayon react? I know she’s leaving but she’ll be back in a few years. I want a child with you but I want it done the right way.” 

 

 

 

 

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I knew what she meant when she said the right way. Marriage. I thought about a lot about in the past days. I grabbed her and held her close. I gazed into her sparkling eyes. She started to blush as I tried to kiss her on her cheek.  I was ready to ask her.

 

 

 

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Marry me, Lois. Be my wife.

 

 

 

 

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“What? Are you serious? You’re asking me to be your wife?”

I caught Lois by surprise. I lifted her up in the air and sprung her around.

“Say you’ll be my wife, Lois.”

 

 

 

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“Yes. I’ll be your wife. But Borage, how? You’re still married to Fayon.”

“I know but I thought of something. Fayon is a alien. I’m sure there’s a loophole that my marriage to a alien isn’t legal.”

“I never thought about that. It could be true. Fayon isn’t a registered citizen, maybe the marriage in invalid.”

“That’s what my mom thinks. I’ll look into it so we can finally be official and have another baby.”

“What if she tries to blow you up?”

“I’m not worried about that. If I die, at least I knew what love feels like and knowing you’re the one I gave my heart to. I’m sure Pedro could help us. He’s on our side. He doesn’t want her married to me. Even if Pedro keeps putting unwanted babies in me, he’s still my best friend. He will help us.”

 

 

 

 

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I may of not have a ring for her but we are officially engaged even if I’m already technically married to Fayon. But can you even count it when the person is from out of space? I embraced Lois with a tender kiss as we sat in the warm sand. We watched the sun set finally. I can’t believe she’s going to be my real wife one day soon. But the baby talk has got me thinking.

 

 

 

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“Why wait any longer, Lois? Let’s try and have a baby now. I’m ready.”

 

 

 

 

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“Hey Lois, how are you?”

“Oh hey Liam. You kinda scared me. Please tell me that you didn’t see us.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing Liam. Let’s just say I will be your daughter-in-law soon when Borage and I find out if his marriage to Fayon is valid. He asked me to marry him and I said yes.”

“Well I guess congrats are in order.”

 

 

 

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“But Liam… I just don’t deserve him! Borage is a wonderful man  and I can’t.. I just can’t..”

“Lois?”

“After we had done that one night.. If he knew. He would be hurt. I feel awful! Why? Why did we do what we did?!”

” Maybe it wasn’t a good idea but what’s done is done.”

“Don’t you even feel a little bad? I feel awful!”

“Yeah it wasn’t good idea. But what my son doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Just pretend that it didn’t happen.”

 

 

 

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“So we should act like nothing had happen? If only it was that easy. I have so much guilt in my soul. I can’t pretend like nothing went on between us.”

“You had a moment of weakness and wasn’t sure about things. It’s okay, you’re only humans. People make mistakes. Try and pretend nothing happen that night.”

“You seem like you don’t care about this whole thing. Don’t you care about your son’s feelings?”

“I do care about Borage’s feelings but pretending this never happen will protect him.”

“I guess you’re about that.”

 

 

 

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I notice my dad was talking to Lois. I wonder what they were talking about. Lois seemed to be a little bothered by my dad. Please don’t tell me that he’s trying to hit on her. I will punch him in the face if he tries anything with her.

“What’s up guys? Am I missing something?”

“No, Lois and I were just chatting about casual stuff.”

“Yeah that’s what were talking about.”

Lois seemed a little nervous about something. Maybe my dad gives her a odd vibe. I know my dad can be creepy sometimes. I don’t blame her.

“He isn’t trying to ask you to be another baby mama of his. I’ll punch you in the throat, old boner if you’ll try. Lois is mine, she isn’t going to be another baby mama of yours.”

“I know that, Borage. I’m just talking with her and getting to know her. Congrats on the engagement. Let me know the date of the wedding. I will attend.”

“Thanks old boner. Maybe you can walk her down the aisle. Lois’ dad passed away a long time.”

“Sure, I could do that.”

 

 

 

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Tonight was a good night to hang out at the fire pit. I asked Lois if she wanted to join me and my dad but she said she couldn’t and she wasn’t feeling good. I told her I would cuddle with her in bed after giving her some soup so she would feel better. She told me she’ll be fine and to hang with me dad. Then she left so quickly. It was strange but women do act strange all the time. Or maybe my dad is just smelly and she don’t wanna be around him.

 

 

 

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I lit up my fire pit and sat down with my dad. He roasted some marshmallows while I roasted a watermelon. I think this would be cool to do. Roast a watermelon. I bet it’s gonna be as tasty as Lois’ lips. She tastes like a watermelon sometimes. I think it’s the whole being black thing. She’s black and loves eating watermelon like my grandmama. She’s black too and I’m a quarter black so this is natural for me.

 

 

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“This is pretty nice. Do I wanna ask about the watermelon.”

“I’m getting in touch with my black roots, old boner.”

“Um, okay. I knew I shouldn’t had said anything.”

 

 

 

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Then my dad burned his dumb marshmallows. That was hella funny. You should of seen his face when his marshmallows lit up like a candle stick.

 

 

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But then my dad must of jinx me cause my melon caught on fire. What asshole! I bet it was gonna be tasty. Now I’ll never now. His whiteness ruined my melon. I disliked him for 5 minutes.

 

 

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“This taste like shit.”

“It wasn’t a good idea to even roast a watermelon.”

“Shut up old boner! Eat your burnt marshmallows!”

 

 

 

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Since I seen my dad talking with Lois I was curious about what he thinks about her since she’s going to be his daughter-in-law one day.

“So whatcha think about her?”

“She seems nice and she’s pretty. Looks like you got lucky there.”

“Yeah, I just wonder how did I get so lucky.”

“I guess you’ll be divorcing the alien soon.”

“I don’t think our marriage is even valid. She’s a damn alien. Those don’t count, do they?”

“I can’t say for sure.”

 

 

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“Well that fuckin’ alien tricked me into marrying her and threatens to blow me  and not in the good way either.”

“Ha ha ha.”

“It’s not funny, old boner. She’s a nut case. Maybe worse than Rosette.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure out something soon. I got a feeling the alien won’t like it.”

“I don’t care what Fayon thinks. I just want her gone for good.”

 

 

 

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“Mind if I join in.”

“Did you have to bring one of those demon hell spawns with you, mama?”

“I like my new grandbaby, Bubba.”

“I like staying away from those abominations. I’ll be happy once those 7 monsters are out of my house.”

 

 

 

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“Bubba, why are you so mean to these little precious babies? You gave birth to them. Little Fred reminds me of you when you were a little baby, Bubba.”

“How can a freak space baby remind you of me?”

“He cries a lot like when I dropped you on your head when you were a baby. I’m getting better at holding babies. I kinda miss having a little baby around.”

“You dropped me on my head, mama?”

“Yep and you turned out well still!”

 

 

 

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“So that explains everything, Zin. You dropped Borage as a baby? Did you dropped Celsia on her head too? I wouldn’t put it pass Rosette for dropping the triplets too.”

“Mama is right, old boner! I did turn out well. But Celsia is just a stupid bitch by nature. And Rosette said she feed the cocktail bitches after which ever drink they were named after of.”

“Tell me you’re not serious?”

 

 

 

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“Liam, the kids came out find under Rose and me care. Borage is as sexy as you Liam. But I hate you now.”

“See old boner, I came out good.”

“Zin? Wait you hate me? Why?”

“Fuck off, Liam.”

 

 

 

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I’m not sure why my mom was suddenly mean to my dad. I’ve never seen her act like this before but I didn’t care really. My dad was stunned and was curious about what’s my mom’s deal but she kept telling him to go to hell. Dad gave up on asking and soon we all heard Rosette’s loud. I knew it wasn’t long before she shown up.

 

 

 

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The rest of the night was good as I had a bonfire with my parents and stupid aunt. I mention how fun this was and hope to do this again with my parents. Mama smiled at me and said she’ll play nice with dad as long as it makes me happy. This night would be perfect if my love was down here spending time with her future in-laws. I wonder if she’s feeling better. I think I’ll call it a night and check on my Lois flower.

 

 

 

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“When you gonna cut the crap and get freak nasty with me, boo love?! I’m only here for you Liam! Ditch these losers and let’s make sweet love. You can’t leave until we fuck! We always make love when we see each other. Put out or get out!”

“Oh Rose..”

“I want Borage’s stupid neighbors to know our names. They won’t until we start fucking!”

 

 

 

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Tonight was the night Pedro and Fayon planned to leave for 6 years. I didn’t want them to take Apollo and Nova but Fayon didn’t want to leave them here. I hugged Nova as tight as I could. I held her in my arms, not wanting to let her go. I told her to not forget about me.

“Remember kid, Mama is psycho and I’m big daddy pimpin’. Daddy good, mama bad.”

“Dada pimpin’! Mama psycho!”

“Yes, that’s right! Remember me, Nova. Daddy is going to miss you.”

“No leave dada!”

“I’m sorry..Nova. I wish you could stay.”

 

 

 

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I held Apollo just as tight and told him the same thing I told his twin. I really did like these alien kids even if I hated their mother. It’s not their fault that they have Fayon for a mom but I didn’t trust her with them. They might come back crazy like her and I won’t like them anymore. It was painful listening to twins cry for me as Pedro and Fayon loaded them in a space pod. I wanted to rid it open and take my kids out. I didn’t care much for the 7 demons. I’m glad they are gone but I’ll miss my twins dearly.

 

 

 

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“Remember me. Daddy will miss you, Apollo.”

 

 

 

 

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“I guess you guys are leaving. I’m going to miss you Pedro and hope you have a safe trip. But before you go, can you make it where Borage and I can finally get married. I’m certain his marriage with Fayon isn’t valid on Earth.”

 

 

 

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“I would help. I no like marriage of sister and Borage. But cannot help as you not honest with Borage. Child is not of Borage. Please make right with Borage first before child.”

 

 

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“Child not of Borage? Huh what does that mean? I’m not honest with Borage? What are you talking about, Pedro? Please, we need your help now.”

 

 

 

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“You will know of child. Time. You know you not be honest with Borage. Make right with Borage and I will help. If you do not now, Borage won’t forgive. Good luck Lois. I see you in 6 years. It is of boy, Lois. You see.”

 

 

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“Pedro is strange alien guy. I have no idea what he’s talking about. None of it makes sense. Pedro isn’t on our side, I guess. I wonder how he knew about Liam and I. He’s right, I am not honest with Borage but if he knew.. he won’t forgive me and it wouldn’t matter how soon I told him. He’ll hate Liam. I don’t want to ruin their father and son relationship let alone yours. I’ll take Liam’s advice and act like nothing happen. Borage must never know.”

Love For The Ladies: Chapter 28, Bay Bay Galore

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After making love to my sweet Lois flower, Fayon stops me while I was on my way to drink something. Love making with this giant stomach gets me a bit of a workout. Fayon told me that tonight was the night to have the babies. She said she needed to prepare me for the birth and delivery. I’m not sure why that’s needed this time around. Pedro didn’t prepare me last time. Those babies came out like magic.

 

 

 

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“Borage, come with me so I can prepare you for the birth. Pedro isn’t here but I will take his place. We need to do this now. The triplets are almost ready to be born.”

“Why do I need to be prepared for birth? Aren’t they gonna magically come out like magic babies?”

 

 

 

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“Not this time Borage. Pedro used Method 1 to pollinate you. Pedro wants you to bond better with your offspring which you failed with Bora Bora and Luna. Perhaps if you were to go through labor and birth, you could possibly bond with your new offspring. The babies will be delivered from your anus. I need to prepare you so delivery will be easier. I do not, you will die during child birth.”

 

 

 

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“Wait a fucking second! These babies are coming out of my ass?!”

 

 

 

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“Yes, love. Your anus is the only opening for the babies to be deliver from. Pedro has implanted his egg inside of you this time. That’s where the babies had be growing inside of you. The egg acts like a womb. Since you are male, you’ll need a womb. With Bora Bora and Luna, Pedro had created a egg and infused your DNA and his, then he insert the egg inside of you. When the egg hatched, Bora Bora and Luna were born, but came out like magic.”

“This bites, Fayon. How did he get me pregnant this time?”

“It’s best if you didn’t know. I already prepared a special bath for you in the hot tub. I sprinkle gem power from my home world, Zihaira. This will cleanse your anus and make delivery easier for you by widening the hole of your anus so each baby can pass.” 

“You aliens are pretty fucked up.”

 

 

 

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I did what Fayon wanted me to do. She wanted me to soak in the hot tub with her. Learning that I’m about to deliver some babies from my ass is very upsetting. No man should ever have to go through time and here I am. Pedro still haven’t shown up and I’m hella pissed at him. Why couldn’t he do the magic way. He wants me to bond? These ain’t even born and I already dislike them. Alien butt babies.. I’m sure they don’t wanna know how they got here.

 

 

 

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It wasn’t long before I started to feel contractions I guess you could say. This shit hurts. I don’t get why some women want to go through this 100 times. They must like pain or something. Freaky bitches.

 

 

 

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“Ahh, this does feel nice? The bath waters with the gem powder. This reminds me of home. I must admit that I do miss home a lot.”

“Why don’t you go back?”

“I have a life here now. I have you and the twins. We are married, we are mates for life and we have 2 wonderful offspring. I have no need to return home.”

“Fayon.. you know how I feel about us. I think you should be if someone who does love you. I’m not the right one for you.”

“I see the labor is making you talk crazy, love. Time is near, this is exciting! I’m going to be a Aunt again.”

“I’m not talking crazy Fayon. You know this isn’t gonna work out. I love-“

“You love me, I know this Borage. I need you to stay in this bath for a hour. I will go prepare a birthing spot for you.”

 

 

 

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Maybe this wasn’t the right time to try and convince Fayon that she should divorce me. She thinks I’m talking crazy but I’m getting real. I have a feeling that Fayon knows about my feelings for Lois and she doesn’t want to hear it. I laid back in the tub for a hour. This alien water does kinda feel good. I closed my eyes and thought about the woman I love. My thoughts vanish as soon as the contractions started again.

 

 

 

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When I got to my room, the pain started to get intense. I thought the bath was suppose to make it better? Why is this hurting so much? I stayed in there for a hour like Fayon said.

 

 

 

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Then I notice how my stomach started to glow green. At this moment, I thought I was going to die.

 

 

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“Fayon! What the fuck is going on with me! This shit hurts too damn much! And why is my stomach glowing and shit?!”

 

 

 

I triple over in pain and fell on the floor. Fayon wanted me on the bed but I was in too pain to move. I could feel these demons moving and heading towards my ass. I held on my stomach, trying to breathe through all the pain I was going through.

 

 

 

Fayon told me time was now. I laid on my back and feared for the worse. There’s about to be 3 aliens coming out of my ass. I just knew this was going to hurt like hell. I wasn’t ready for this! I wanted it to be over but I don’t want to push babies out of my ass!

 

 

 

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Fayon makes a terrible midwife as she stood there screaming for half of the time. Mainly he was worried about Pedro’s whereabouts and how he’s suppose to be here for this. Fayon finally did calm down and coach me through the birthing thing.

 

 

Fayon told me I needed to push as the babies were coming. I could feel them coming. It was like trying to push out a hard turd! I pushed with all of my might but then I went numb. I didn’t feel anything. I’m not sure what was going on. I dropped my head to the floor and stared at the ceiling. My mind was blank and it felt like I was underwater. I don’t remember hearing the babies cry. I’m not sure how much time went by but Fayon smiled at me and said I was done. I rolled over to my side and laid on the floor for a while. I don’t know how long. It could of been hours. I laid there in silence. Until Fayon told me to come meet my babies.

 

 

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I struggle to get up to head to the nursery. She must of gather the babies were I laid on the floor in a daze. I didn’t bother in trying cover myself. I dragged myself to the nursery. I wonder why I still looked pregnant if I already had the babies. Fayon told me that my body will go back to normal in the morning. I was stun to learn how many babies I just gave birth. Fayon was just as stunned as I was. It wasn’t triplets like Pedro said it was. Fayon smiled and told me that I’m a father to septuplets. 7 babies? How the fuck? Fayon asked for names but I was too distraught and extremely tired to think of 7 names. Pedro could do that since he wanted the babies so bad. But Fayon said that he still wasn’t here and how since there’s something special about the babies being more Ziharian than the others, they needed names now. I told my family since they were in there that they can name them since I’m very tired. Honestly I could care less about them.

 

 

 

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“I think I’ll name this little guy, Fred. He looks like a Fred too me.”

 

 

 

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“I’m naming this boy, Aries.”

“That’s a wonderful name, Zinnia. I shall call this one Journey. She’s beautiful.”

 

 

 

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“This baby seems different, Fayon. Aries is genie like me. I can sense it but he looks like a alien.”

“Zinnia, are you serious? Aries is genie? This is great news! I didn’t think it’s possible to create a alien-genie. I thought Pedro was crazy. This great news for Pedro and my home world. At last, a alien-genie is born!”

 

 

 

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“This baby is stupid. I’m naming her Chlamydia.”

 

 

 

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“Rose, you can not be serious!”

“Why not? Borage probably has chlamydia. It probably passed down to this brat. I think it’s perfect.”

 

 

 

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“Rose you can’t name this baby after a STD! It’s bad enough of what you named our twins.”

“Borage said I could name her! I’ll just spell it with a K. You like your name, Khlamydia. Don’tcha you stupid baby.”

 

 

 

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“What do we name the other 3 babies, Fayon?”

“Let’s have Pedro name them. He’s on his way now.”

 

 

 

 

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“I think Fred is a stupid for a baby. This brat has a cool name.”

“Naming a baby after a STD is not a cool name. That name is terrible!”

“Whatevs. Khlamydia is gonna be poplar with the boys when she’s older. I’m helping her out.”

“You’re ruining my granddaughter’s life. That’s what your doing.”

 

 

 

 

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“Everyone, grab a baby. I had prepared a special bath for the babies since they are more Ziharian than human. This is something we do on my home world. This process is important.” 

 

 

 

 

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“Here ya go Fred. Time for your first bath.”

 

 

 

 

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“Aww it’s okay Fred. This won’t take long. Are you sure this water is okay for them, Fayon? The babies are screaming.”

“It is fine, Liam. Ziharian children hate baths in their first year of life.” 

 

 

 

 

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“See Fred, that wasn’t so bad was it? You’re all nice and clean now.”

 

 

 

 

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“Shut up you stupid diseased baby! I don’t want them to think I’m drowning you when I kinda want to do.”

 

 

 

 

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“Hey little Aries! You’re the cool one of the litter being a alien and a genie! I think you’re gonna be grandmama’s fav!”

 

 

 

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As I slept after giving birth to 7 hell spawns, I was soon waken by Pedro’s angry voice. He mainly yelled at Fayon for allowing my family to name the kids. But Fayon was just honoring my wishes, he doesn’t need to yell at her for that. He hated the name Rosette gave to one of the girls. Yeah naming a baby Khlamydia is terrible but I found it it a little funny. Since some kind of special alien thing were the babies are bond to their names 3 hours after birth. Pedro couldn’t change Khlamydia’s name. Pedro just calls her Dia for short. Pedro wasn’t pleased with the name Fred, which my dad named him. He said it wasn’t right for a alien. Pedro did like the names my mom and Fayon picked out. He felt Aries name was perfect since he’s a alien-genie. He named the 3 other babies, Tuscan, Dasani and Toshi.  Pedro stop yelling at Fayon and I drifted back to sleep.

 

 

 

 

And here’s all 7 of them. Toshi, Khlamydia, Journey, Aries, Fred, Dasani, Tuscan.  How on earth did 3 babies turn into 7? I don’t know why Pedro wanted so many damn kids but I’m done. He needs to find a new host cause I ain’t about to do this shit no more.

 

 

 

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I did get my body back like Fayon said. That’s all I care about now. Making love to Lois would be easier and I’m sure she misses my hot body. I looked over and glared at those 7 demons. I can’t believe I gave birth to them. I’m glad it wasn’t 8 then I’ll be a Octo-Dad.

 

 

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Pedro told me how happy to have septuplets this time. I could careless. Greta is going to be busy once she returns from her trip. Pedro then told me how special the babies were and he and Fayon were taking the babies to their home world to stay for 6 years. It’s some crazy alien thing that they had to do. They didn’t do this when Bora Bora, Luna, Apollo and Nova were born. Why these 7? It’s cause there was 7 of them. That’s some rare thing that happens where they were from. Pedro said taking Aries was very important cause they had to register him as a new breed. I guess. They would be taken the babies in a few days and they were taking Apollo and Nova too. Fayon wanted them to know their alien roots. I wasn’t thrill about Fayon taking the twins. Of all of my alien kids, I like those 2. I didn’t try to pick a fight and let her take them. I’ll miss them, the twins but could careless about the septuplets. However I think Aries would be the cool one from the litter. He’s a genie like me.

 

 

 

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“Borage your TV suck! It only has one color, black!”

 

 

************

Note: There had to be some glitch or something for Borage to have 7 babies! He even still looked pregnant after he gave birth. I thought he was gonna have more lol but I had to reset him. he went back to normal. 7 extra babies pushed the limits of what my game could handle. I decided to keep all 7 kids but move them with Pedro, Fayon, and the twins into another house. They will be back as kids but I will post pics of them as toddlers so you all can see them. Batch#2 had started and now it’s done LOL

Love For The Ladies: Chapter 27, Conflicted Melody

Chapter 27, Conflicted Melody 

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“You need to know the correct name to call your crazy mom. Mama ain’t right so when you see her you call her “Psycho” Can you say psycho?”

 

 

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“……….”

 

 

 

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“Well say it space brat.  Are you stupid and mute?  Just my luck that I end up with a stupid mute brat of a kid.”

 

 

 

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“I’ll give you another chance or I’m going to hate you. Say psycho.” That’s what your mom is, a psycho. Now say psycho.”

 

 

 

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“Cray Cray!”

 

 

 

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I was getting ready for bed when Lois decided to drop in. She’s the last face I want to see before I sleep. I held her in my arms and gently kissed her sweet lips. We didn’t say much as we gazed into each other eyes. It was the perfect moment for me that night.

 

 

 

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Lois told me how her back had been hurting a lot lately. I offer to give her a sexy back rub to make her feel better. I’ll do anything to keep my special lady happy. Lois slowly stripped down before laying across my massage table. I took a few moments to admire her sexy figure as she lies down. I searched for the perfect body oil to use on my perfect lady. Lavender.  The color of lavender flowers reminds me of her stunning eyes. It was perfect.

 

 

 

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“Mmm.. This feels nice Borage. I really needed this tonight. I didn’t know how magically your hands are. I should of been asking for back rub from you a long time ago. How did you get so good at this?”

 

 

 

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“I got that magic touch, babe. Ya know being genie and all. I would of love to bee rubbing on you sooner than this. I’ll make sure this will keep you asking for more. Once we are finally together, then I can give you these every night.”

 

 

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“Sometimes I wonder will that be possible as crazy Fayon is. I wish we could be together right now. But I must admit I kinda worried about something. You going back to your old ways. Are you willing to give up your goal of 1000 ladies for me? What makes me so special? You could have any girl in this girl and you picked me. I just can’t wrap my mind around it.”

 

 

 

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“I don’t need my silly goal when I found the perfect lady already. I don’t know why it took this long to see it but I see it clearly. You’re the one for me Lois. I know I may not be the perfect guy but you are the perfect lady for me. There’s no need to worry if I’ll go to my old ways. The only lady that I need in my life is you and my daughters. I love you.”

 

 

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“I guess I shouldn’t worry so much. I’ve been hurt before. You know.”

“I would never hurt you, Lois. You know this.”

“I know but I just get so scared.”

“You don’t need to worry about ever getting hurt as long as you don’t hurt me.”

“Of course Borage. I would do anything to hurt you.”

 

 

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This whole being pregnant thing sucks ass. My back is always killing me and as I was talking to my sweet Lois flower, my back started to hurt. Lois turned me around be began to massage my back. It felt amazing. I felt like I was about to melt away. Alayna gave some pretty good back rubs but they weren’t as amazing as Lois’. I was in heaven.

 

 

 

 

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“I was wondering if I can stay the night with you, Borage.”

“I would love that but you know Fayon and all.”

“I hate this Borage. I wish I could sleep in your bed for once.”

“I wish you could too but Fayon sometimes takes a nap next to me. We shouldn’t risk it.”

“You’re right. Maybe we can have a little quickie then?”

“I would love to Lois, I really would but this pregnancy is killing me. I’m kinda tired.”

“I forgot how pregnancy was. I slept a lot when I was pregnant with PC. It’s been so long since I’ve had a baby. Maybe one day we will have another child.”

“I’m open to that idea. Have a good night, love. I need to get some sleep before these creatures wake up and start kicking me in the ribs.”

“I remember feeling PC move around. It was amazing.”

“Well I don’t like it.”

 

 

 

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“Hey Lois, it’s such a lovely night tonight. Care to join me with  a drink? Borage has some top notch stuff here.”

 

 

 

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“No Liam, I’m sorry. I once had a drinking problem many years ago. I’ve been clean and sober for years. I want to stay that way but thanks for the offer. Since Borage was sleepy, I came out here for a night swim. I enjoy swimming under the stars.”

 

 

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“I’m sorry Lois. I didn’t know about that. I guess I’ll be drinking alone then. More drinks for me now.”

“Now I feel bad. I guess maybe one drink won’t hurt.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Not really. Maybe a little sip or two won’t do any harm.”

 

 

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I’ve slept for maybe a hour or 2 before these space demons woke up to kick at me. These brats aren’t even born and they are on my last nerve. These demons tend to be active at night. I decided to play my new game since I’m up and then one of my space brats decided that he wanted to bother me.

 

 

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“Dada!”

“Whatever it is kid, the answer is no.”

“Dada!”

“Damn it Apollo! Shut your trap. Daddy is busy! Can you see that?!”

 

 

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“Dada play!”

“Yes daddy is playing a game. Go away.”

“Play wif me!”

“I said I’m busy kid. Buzz off.”

“Dada play wif me!”

“No.”

“Dada!”

“No!”

“Dada!”

“No got damn it!”

 

 

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“Fuckin’ shit you’re annoying with your annoying alien voice. I’ll play with you in traffic just so you’ll shut your annoying alien voice while your daddy is being a asshole.”

“Shut your cocksucker Rose.”

“Go to hell, stupid!”

 

 

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“You own me big time you smelly space demon. You’re cutting into my sexy Liam time, little punk ass.”

 

 

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“I guess one sip turned into 3 drinks. Are you going to be okay Lois?”

 

 

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“Of course I’m fine. I’ll be okay. This water feels so nice against my body. Why are you sitting way over there, Liam? I won’t bite ya.”

 

 

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“You want me to come sit by you?”

“Yeah. It will be okay.”

“Okay if you say so.”

 

 

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“See this isn’t bad is it?”

“No, not really.”

“I was wondering about something. Do you think Borage is capable of being with one female? We want to be together. I do love him but I’m afraid that’ll return to be the old Borage and try to hook up with 1000 ladies. I know how bad he wants to be like you and how much he looks up to you. I know about your 100 baby thing. And yes I know you’re not some kind of pimp.”

“Honestly I don’t know what my son is capable of. I’m aware of how much he looks up to me but he’s pretty lucky to get a pretty like you to stick around. I know the lack class my son has. But if he’s anything like his mom, you’ll be hurt.”

“What do you mean?”

“His mom is married but yet we hooked up a few times. I had 4 kids with her already. Zinnia isn’t the faithful type and I notice that’s a common trait in his family. He’s more of his mom than me other having my good looks.”

“So you think Borage would cheat on me?”

“I’m not saying that, Lois. I’m just saying if he’s Zinnia, you’ll be in a world of hurt.”

 

 

 

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“I’m a fool if I think Borage could only be with me. I just don’t want to get hurt again.”

“That’s understandable. I can’t see why would any guy want to hurt a beautiful lady like you. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

“You really think so? You think I’m beautiful?”

“Of course I do. You’re smoking hot, Lois.”

“Aww. You’re nice. As much as I want to believe Borage could be with me and only. I just don’t think he can. I don’t know what to do anymore, Liam.”

 

 

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“Maybe I can help ease your mind, Lois.”

“How so, Liam?”

“Maybe if I can kiss you.”

 

 

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“Liam! I think you’re coming on to me. Are you drunk?”

“Possibly.”

“I’m feeling a little tipsy myself.”

 

 

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“Well I wouldn’t want to try to take advantage of you if you’re feeling a little tipsy.”

“You’re a gentleman. I like that.”

“I can be.”

“So you wanna kiss me.”

“It would be nice if you’re okay with it.”

“I do love Borage but right now.. I’m unsure if he can really be with me.”

“I see.  Let me know when you figure things out. I would like to kiss you. You have very beautiful eyes.”

“You can kiss me right now, Liam.”

 

 

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“Liam? What the fuck are you doing with her? This isn’t good. This isn’t good at all!”

 

 

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“If Bubba sees this… He’s gonna be hurt. He loves that girl.. Liam.. what are you doing?”

 

 

 

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“Liam.. I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t be doing this.”

“You said it would be okay.”

“I know but Borage..”

 

 

 

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“You said you’re unsure about things. Maybe if you have a little fun then you might figure it out.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Trust me. What he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.”

“I guess you’re right.”

 

 

 

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“Since I’m still up I guess I’ll teach you the correct name for your mom too. Your mom is a fuckin’ psycho. And if you want to me to like you then you need to listen to everything I tell you and not be a stupid space brat. Got me Nova?”

 

 

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“…..”

 

 

 

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“Don’t give me that face brat. I’m the good parent and you only listen to me. When you see your mom, you call her “psycho”. So what do we call your mom?”

 

 

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“Mama.”

 

 

 

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“No! Bad Nova! We don’t call her that! You say “psycho”. I wish I had a rolled newspaper so I could smack you on the nose. I have a feeling that I’m not going to like you.”

 

 

 

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“Dada mean.”

 

 

 

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“I’m not mean. You don’t listen. You call mama “psycho” but I think you’re kinda dumb. I give up on you already. I think I like your brother better than you,  green dummy.”

 

 

 

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“Mama psycho!”

 

 

 

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“Yes! That’s right! Mama is a psycho!”

 

 

 

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“Now you call me “big daddy pimpin'” You see I am the good parent. Mama bad, daddy good. Can you say “big daddy pimpin'”?”

 

 

 

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“Dada pimpin’! Dada pimpin’! Dada pimpin’!”

 

 

 

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“That’s right Nova! Daddy is big pimpin’! I think I like you now.”

 

 

 

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“Borage, you really shouldn’t be teaching her things like that.”

 

 

 

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“Shut up dad. I don’t come to your house and tell you how to raise your stupid kids.”

 

 

 

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“This game is kinda cool, Zin.”

“I know right! When does it start?”

“I think it already started.”

 

 

 

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“How can you tell? Is the screen suppose to be black?”

“I think so. I think this is that black out game.”

“Really? This is gonna be fun! Am I winning?”

“No I’m winning!”

“No you’re not, stupid hoslut!”

 

 

 

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“What are you 2 doing?”

“Duh Liam boo! Can you see that were playing that new black out game! You’re so blind!”

 

 

 

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“Hey Zin, how are you doing this morning?”

“Fuck off Liam.”

“Wow okay.. Where is this coming from?”

“Zin, don’t be such a bitch to my boo thang! I would never be mean to you, my sweet lova. When we gonna get nasty?”

 

 

 

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“Umm.. ladies. You do realize that you don’t have the TV on, right?”

 

 

 

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Today I notice Lois has been acting strangely around me. She can’t seem to look me in the eyes whenever we talk. She really gets weird when my dad walks into the room. She would quickly run out the room. I’m not sure what’s going with her but I want to know what’s the deal. I asked Lois if she come with me to my room At first she was reluctant but smiled slightly at me and followed my lead.

 

 

 

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“What’s been going on with you, Babe? You haven’t been acting like yourself today. Is everything okay? What’s bothering you? Is it me? You can tell me if it’s me. I promise that I won’t get mad. Maybe I can fix it.”

 

 

 

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“I’m sorry Borage. You didn’t do anything. I just have a lot going on in my head. I just wanna know how committed are you to me? I know you said that you love me but is it for real? You never been in love before. I’m sorry.. I’m just so nervous.”

 

 

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“Lois, there’s nothing to be worried about. I’m 100% committed to you and only you. My love for you is real. I know I’ve never be in love before but everyone falls in love at some point, right? I’m in love with you, Lois. You’re my first love, that should be special. I’m glad to have you as my first love.”

 

 

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Lois leaped into my arms once I those words to her. I held her into arms and held her tight. I wanted to make her feel secured and protected. I would never do anything that could possible hurt her. I know she wouldn’t do the same to me. I love her and she loves me.

 

 

 

I know she’s been hurt many times in her life. I don’t plan on being another guy who had broken her beautiful heart.

 

 

 

There’s so many actions that I could do to show Lois of how much I care about her. I could buy her flowers for no reason. I could rub her back when she’s sore from work. I could make her soup when she’s sick. I could hold her tight, when she’s cold. There’s only one thing I know that will convince her that I am only for her. Three simple words…

 

 

I love you.

Love For The Ladies: Chapter 26, Bonding Ain’t Easy

Chapter 26: Bonding Ain’t Easy

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After I got my dad settle in, I introduce him to all of his grandkids. He had  interest in alien ones, especially the 2 youngest. There’s nothing special about them. They are just little evil green creatures. I swear Nova is just a little brat. She likes Liam.2 a lot. He always attending to her when he isn’t doing his nerd stuff. I hope by my dad’s visit that Liam.2 will stop that nerd shit. It’s getting on my nerves. He’s suppose to be out learning on how to be a ladies man. Not trying to get into college. School is lame, he should know that. Dad and I will whip this boy in shape. He have to carry on this legacy of ladies men. It’s his birthright.

 

 

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“Nova, I got you some food. It’s your favorite! I know you’re gonna like it, cutie.”

 

 

 

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“No!”

“Nova! You’re making a mess! I got to clean this up quick!”

 

 

 

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“Hey dog face, remember that boy in your history class that you’re crushing on?”

“Yeah hag, what about him? Does he like me back?”

“Yeah right! Like he would like some nappy headed hoochie like you, PC!”

“Shut up Bora Whorea! Like he would like some freak alien hybrid like you!”

 

 

 

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“Well he does like me! He asked me on a date for tomorrow and I’m gonna go. Take that nap trap!”

“You probably used your jedi mind trick on him! That’s not fair Bora Whorea!”

“I did not! Actually he found me much prettier than you! Maybe you should slap a relaxer on that nappy mess on your head! Then maybe he would of liked you!”

“Get out of my face ..you whore!”

“Fine, slut!”

“Yo mama! Oh wait.. YOU don’t HAVE one! Your other parent is a MAN!”

“My Suziu is alien so go fuck off!”

 

 

 

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I hate that Mimi have to be in a wheelchair. She’s suppose to be out running around and playing like other kid. After many doctor visits, things with Mimi seems fine. She didn’t have any serve brain damage like they said she would but they do expect a slight change in her personality. Something in her brain scans didn’t seem right. I think the doctors are full of shit. I see nothing different in her personality. Mimi is still her sweet angel self. I just hope she will be walking again real soon. Haven’t gotten any wheelchair ramps installed yet. Mimi wouldn’t be able to roll herself outside. The only area where she can take a breathe of fresh air is where the pool is. I forbid her from going out there alone. She listens and since she has a assload of siblings, someone is always willing to take her outside. Those evil alien twins usually chat with her. Mimi enjoys chatting with them and they don’t seem to mind it much. I’m just glad Bora Bora isn’t bugging me so much now.

 

 

 

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The spring festival was in town and I decided that we should all go. Mimi couldn’t and I felt bad about it. She seemed okay with it, Fayon and Mordecai stayed home with her while everyone else went. Mordecai didn’t want to leave his sister behind. I guess that’s cool but MiKaia had no plans to stay. She wanted me to go on a egg hunt with her. I guess I could do that. It’s not I can do much here because I’m pregnant with demon space spawns.

“Did I just step in dog shit?! Ahhh gross! This is stupid. I quit.”

 

 

 

 

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“Daddy I found a pretty egg! I’m gonna give it to Mimi. Daddy? Where you are daddy?!”

 

 

 

 

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They had a kissing booth and I wanted to attend to it. Making ladies pay for my kisses? Why didn’t I think of this before? I think my kisses are too awesome to give out for free. Even if the only lady that I want to be kissing on is Lois, I think this could done for fun.

 

 

 

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I started to do my manly sexy poses to get the ladies’ attention. I know they can’t help but want to get a piece of this fine genie sexiness. My loving is only available for today and then it’s for Lois.

 

 

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“You know you want this loving, girl. Don’t be shy. I charge by the hour so line up to get a piece of my awesome sexiness, ladies.”

 

 

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“Borage, what are you doing?”

“Hey Lois..”

 

 

 

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“Charging the ladies for my sweet lips. But for you, you can get these sweet lips for free.”

 

 

 

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“Really? So I wouldn’t have to pay to kiss you?”

 

 

 

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“Of course as long as I keep getting those awesome blow jobs from you.”

 

 

 

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Lois pulls me into a kiss. But it seemed different this time around.

 

 

 

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Not like it was bad or anything. Something about this kiss was… just amazing. More amazing than any other time we kissed.

 

 

 

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This was kiss was more passionate than the other times. Then I realize why it may of been different. We always gotten together behind closed doors where no one could see us. We hid from, Fayon. We hid from the kids. But as we kissed, I realize that we were out in the open. Not behind any closed doors. Everyone could see us. But I didn’t care, Lois didn’t care. We were out, we were open. There was no hiding this any longer. I’m glad we made out in public. I didn’t like hiding our love from each other. I know it’s better off hidden from my psycho wife, Fayon. But at this moment I didn’t care rather Fayon saw us. Lois and I love is real and we can’t hide this any longer.

 

 

 

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Her kiss felt like heaven too. I was left in a daze of heavenly bliss. Lois let me be as I melt away. But reality hit once I heard the voice of my annoying aunt.

 

 

 

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I knew having her would be a mistake. It wasn’t long before demanding my dad’s attention. He kept here for the kids, not you! I wish mom would of left her back at home. Rosette would be slightly okay, if my dad wasn’t here. I don’t know what her deal is but she needs to leave him alone. He doesn’t want you. He doesn’t love you nor he ever will! You’re just a easy lay and she can’t seem to see that.

 

 

 

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“Boo, let’s ditch these losers and go get freaky somewhere. These kids are hella lame. We can go have our own fun, love.”

 

 

 

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“Rose, I want to spend time with my grandchildren. I’m not going to go run with you right now for some fun. Maybe later. Maybe, okay? There’s a lot to do here. It would be fun.”

 

 

 

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“Your grandkids are idiots like your idiot son. Let’s get our freak on, boo. Don’t you miss me? I miss you. The last time I saw you is when that crazy old hag pulled a gun on me. That bitch coulda killed me! Then you would be lonely without my loving! So stop being a prick and gimme that dick!”

 

 

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“Rose, no. I can’t right now. I’m going to spend time with my grandchildren.”

 

 

 

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“YOU DON’T TELL ME NO, CRACCA ASS CRACCA! GIVE ME THE DICK RIGHT NOW!”

 

 

 

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I was still at the kissing booth. Posing as sexy as ever. I know some lady wants to pay to kiss these juicy hot lips of mine.

 

 

 

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“Hey Pedro. What’s up?”

“I will have one kiss please.”

“You’re funny. I only kiss ladies.”

 

 

 

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“But I pay for kiss. You give kiss, right?”

 

 

 

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“Pedro this isn’t fair. You used your jedi mind trick on me.”

“I give money for kiss. You give kiss. It is nice kiss. Thank you.”

“You’re gay!”

“No. I am what Google calls Bisexual on Earth. On Ziharia, this normal.”

“Don’t care. Still gay.”

“No. Google said Bisexual. Google is friend, it don’t lie.”

 

 

 

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“Get it girl! Get it girl!”

“I’m getting it, Grandma!”

“You’re young, teach me how to dougie!”

“Okay! You’re the coolest grandma ever!”

 

 

 

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“Hey L2. We never get to hang out. I didn’t realize how much you look like daddy.”

 

 

 

 

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“I’m aware of that. Everyone say I look like dad. But we never hang out because you’re always busy fighting with PC all the time. Why can’t you never seem to get along? I know she’s a half sister but she’s still your sister. Our sister. I wouldn’t treat you any different cause you’re my half sister. It doesn’t matter if one parent is different. We are still family, you know.”

 

 

 

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“It’s just cause daddy always favor her over me because I’m a alien and she’s a genie like him. Plus daddy likes her mom a lot and he really don’t care much for my Suziu. I know they are just friends but since daddy got pregnant, they fight a lot. PC thinks she so better than everyone and I’m sick of her. I bet if PC didn’t exist then he would like me.”

 

 

 

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“That’s not true Bora Bora and you know that. Maybe dad does favor some of us over the others, but you know he loves you. Can that just be enough?”

“I know daddy loves me. He told me but it isn’t enough. I want daddy to spend special time with me like he does with PC and Mimi. He ignores me, Luna, Lilah and MiKaia. Daddy seems to only like you, PC and Mimi. He even gives Morde a little more attention. I think he hates Apollo and Nova because of Fayon.”

“You kinda hound dad a lot and he doesn’t like that. I bet if you ease up, then maybe he would want to spend time with you.”

“Do you really think so?”

 

 

 

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“I know so, Bora. Maybe if you were nicer to PC, then yeah. You know, you and PC might have a lot in common if you 2 got along with each. Try being PC’s friend. It’s not gonna kill you.”

“I guess you are right, L2. You’re a cool bro. We need to hang out more.”

“I think that would be cool. Maybe we can do homework.”

“Umm.. I want to do something fun.”

“We can read. I got this new book-“

“Wow, you’re kinda of a nerd. Don’t you still like video games?”

“Of course. Right now I’m programming my own video game. You should try it out.”

 

 

 

“Okay, that could be fun.”

“Can I ask you a favor?”

“What?”

“You know Ashley right?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you give her this note. I really like her and I’m too shy to talk to her.”

“Oh. I can do that for you. I guess you won’t be much of a ladies man like daddy wants you to.”

“I guess not.”

 

 

 

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“I know L2 said I should be nicer to PC but let’s be honest! It’s not in my nature! Muhahahaha!”

 

 

 

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“Yuck, Apollo spit up all over my hands. I need to wash up- WHAT THE HELL! Ugh Bora Whorea! I know this was your doing!”

 

 

 

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“I’m so gonna get that tramp alien back. She’s gonna regret the day she pranks me!”

 

 

 

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“What the hell is this? My hair! My beautiful hair!”

 

 

 

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“I KNOW I MAY LOOK LIKE A ANIME CHARACTER! BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I DECLARE A PRANK WAR!!!”

 

 

 

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I’m glad that my dad deals with those alien brats. Especially Nova, all she does is cry, cry and cry. Such a crybaby and she’s so whiny. She likes my dad a lot. I guess that’s fine. He can deal with her crybabyness. He rocked her to sleep which Fayon wasn’t happy about. Fayon rather rock the twins to sleep herself. She doesn’t like it when others try. She didn’t say anything to my dad other than give him the eye. I notice her crazy outburst stop if Pedro is in the room. Bout time someone put a leash on her.

 

 

 

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“Hey grandpa. I have a question.”

“What is it.”

“Are you really my grandpa or my dad?”

“Umm, I’m your grandpa. Why would you think I might be your dad.”

“Cause dad said since I look like you, then you must be my dad. And he said you bang a lot of ladies too.”

“No, I’m your grandpa but you do look like me. I guess my genes are strong.”

 

 

 

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“Okay I guess. I have another question for you grandpa.”

 

 

 

 

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“Sure, ask away.”

 

 

 

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“Are you really a pimp?”

 

 

 

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“What?! I’m not a pimp. Where on earth did you get a crazy idea like that from?”

 

 

 

 

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“Dad told me. He said you are the king pimp in TB and you have a big whore house with whores living with you. But  dad said you weren’t to good of a pimp cause the whores leave you with babies instead of money. So you’re a not pimp? That’s disappointing  I think it’s cool to have a pimp from a grandpa.”

 

 

 

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“None of what your dad said is true. I’m not a pimp, yes I do have some ladies stay with me time to time. They do leave me babies but it’s only to help me with my quest which you’re too young to understand. I wonder what other crazy stories, Borage told you kids about me.”

 

 

 

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“Well okay. Do your ladies have nice boobs? I bet you got to touch a lot of boobies. I wish I was old enough to touch ladies’ boobies. I like that around like basketballs. I seen ladies jog down the street and their boobies bounce up and down like a basketball. I wonder does that hurt. What kind of boobies do you like, grandpa? Big boobies or little boobies?”

 

 

 

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“You are a very interesting kid. I see a lot of Borage in you.”

“Really? I wanna be like dad. He’s big pimpin’. Like he’s banging Lois while married to Fayon. That’s pimpin’! He has like 2 different sets of boobies to touch every night. I think that would be so cool to touch different boobies every night!”

“Aren’t you a little too young to know about this type of stuff.”

“No. Dad been showing me PlaySim magazines since I was real littler.”

“I see.”

 

 

 

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“Are you gonna tell me what type of boobies you like? Did grandma have nice boobies? Do you like Aunt Rose’s boobies better? Why do old ladies have saggy boobies?”

 

 

 

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“Don’t you want to outside and catch fireflies with me. Let’s do kid friendly things and not talk about this sort of stuff.”

“No grandpa. I wanna talk about boobies. Boobies are my life.”

 

 

 

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“Hey Papa!”

“Hi Bora Bora.”

“So who is your favorite grandbaby?”

“I don’t play favorites. I like you all.”

 

 

 

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“That’s bullshit Papa! Every grandparent has a favorite. Daddy has  favorites. I should be your favorite since I’m a human skinned alien. That makes me cool!”

“Bora Bora, I’m not going to choose a favorite. I like you all equally.”

 

 

 

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“Bleh Papa! That’s cop out! Answer me this. Was grandma your favorite whore in your whore house?”

“What?!”

“Aren’t you a pimp?”

“No, for the last time. What is Borage telling you kids?!”

 

 

 

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It’s a Saturday night and my nerd of son wants to do his homework. I swear this kids urks my nerves sometimes. He needs to quit that nerd shit and act like a real Montigo. It’s the weekend and us Montigos party. I had to stop what I was doing to yell at him. I can’t let my dad see him being a nerd. He is namesake and L2 is gonna make him look bad.

“L2 if you don’t quit with that nerd shit! It’s Saturday night! Act like a Montigo!”

“But dad, I need to work on this equation for school.”

“Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

 

 

 

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I knew if I let the karaoke machine then I would regret it. I don’t miss the days when they would sing badly on this machine. I would usually drink shitloads of vodka since I was 7  just to tune them out. I was hoping maybe Lois and I could sing a duet but these 2 idiots took over.

 

 

 

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“Baby it’s yours! If you want it tonight. I’ll give ya the red light special.”

“Liam I wanna touch your diccccccccccck!”

“You’re fucking up the words, stupid!”

“I want Liam’s dicccccccck!”

 

 

 

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“WILL YOU 2 SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

 

 

 

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Dad wanted to read Mimi to sleep. Usually that’s what I do but Mimi wanted dad to do it for tonight. I guess I could one night not putting Angel baby to bed. I hope he reads her the right story. I want my Angel baby to have sweet dreams.

 

 

 

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“I hope you’ll like this story that I picked out for you.”

“Is it about aliens.”

“No it’s about fairies. Do you want me to get another book.”

“No but answer me this.”

“Sure.”

“Did you ever get pregnant by a boy alien like daddy?”

 

 

 

 

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“Sweetie, let me read you this story.”

“Well Papa? Have ya? I bet you did. You’re avoiding my question.”

“Mimi, it’s your bedtime. Let me read this story.”

“Did you have butt sex with a boy alien or was it alien magic? I heard uncle Pedro saying he might put a baby in you.”

 

 

 

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“Now Mimi. I’m not going to talk about stuff like that. Where on earth are you kids getting ideas like this from.”

“Daddy.”

“Of course.”

“Are ya gonna answer me? Did you have butt sex with alien to get alien babies?”

“Miyoko Montigo!”

“You’re lame.”

 

 

 

 

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“I’m going to start reading this story to you. Are you ready?”

“Good night Papa.”

“I guess good night then.”

 

 

 

 

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“Since you read Mimi to sleep then you’re gonna read me a story too!”

 

 

 

 

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“And if you don’t then I’m gonna put frogs and cheetos in your suitcase! You are gonna read me a story right?”

 

 

 

 

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“Of course I’ll read you a story but you didn’t need to threaten me.”

 

 

 

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“I’m ready for my story, Papa!”

 

 

 

 

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“I know you’re gonna like this story.”

“Is it about pimps and hos? Daddy reads that to me every night.”

“No and before you ask me, the answer is no. I’m not a pimp or ever was.”

“You’re hella lame, Papa. Daddy is big pimpin’! You need to be more like him.”

 

 

 

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“Got damn it L2! What did I tell you about doing nerd shit on a Saturday night!”

“I’m sorry dad! I’ll put it away.”

 

**********

Note: There is no part 2 of Chapter 25. I didn’t get to do what I wanted to so I skipped over and went to chapter 26 instead.

Love For The Ladies: Chapter 25.1, Hello Mother, Hello Father: Part 1

Chapter 25.1, Hello Mother, Hello Father: Part 1

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I’m waiting for the day when I’m no longer pregnant with these space creatures. I’m sick of all the backaches and mood swings. It’s really annoying but not as annoying as Pedro’s behavior. He’s all goo goo about this pregnancy and making me stand here naked while he takes photos of my baby bump.  He wants memories of this and I rather forget it all. I’m not sure how many pics he needs of me but 1 is good enough. The kids are about to come home from school and he isn’t done.

“Pedro.. you know my kids will be home soon. Don’t you have enough pics now? This is stupid.. Can you just teleport these freak babies out of me now? Use your alien magic for fuckin’ sakes!”

 

 

“Ewww gross daddy! I see your butt! Why are you naked?!”

“Damn it Pedro.. Those brats are home now. Hurry up!”

 

 

 

I’m pretty that MiKaia is washing her eyes with bleach now. I mean look at me? This fat pregnant look isn’t a good look on me. I miss my sexy hot body that I once had. Now these space demons ruined my perfect body! I can’t see how Lois still finds me attractive. How can she love this gross fat on me? Maybe that’s why I love her so much. She can still love me even if I’m a fat pregnant mess.

 

 

 

Then Pedro walks in my room. I was hoping that he didn’t want to take more pics of my gross body. What’s his deal? He’s been a real weirdo lately. Then he shot a blue laser light at me. That’s the last thing I remember. What’s going on? I bet this pregnancy is making this happen.

 

 

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“Borage, come to me.”

 

 

 

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“I don’t know why I’m walking over to you like some kind of puppy. What do you want now? You got what you wanted. You me pregnant and you got those baby bump pics. What else?”

 

 

 

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“Borage, I know you given me what I want. You been good. I want more from you. I enjoy time I pollinated you. I forget how good genies make good lover. I want to mate again.”

“Dude, I ain’t gay like you.”

“I am not. Where I come from, we mate with both genders. It’s normal.”

 

 

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“Here on Earth that’s called being gay. Stop using your jedi mind tricks on me. I’m not comfortable being this close to you. I don’t wanna fuck you. I like ladies. You know, those people who have vaginas. Those are amazing. You should try one sometime. I can introduce you to my slutty twin sister.”

 

 

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“I know, customs are different here. But I want to mate again.”

“What do you mean, again?”

“We mated, I did more than pollinated. You have no memory of it.”

“You’re a fucked up dude.”

“Don’t worry, Borage. You won’t remember this.”

“This?”

 

 

“If you relax, you can enjoy this.”

“WHAT THE FUCK PEDRO!”

 

 

“I don’t like this! Stop it!”

“Relax, Borage. You will enjoy.”

“No I won’t! I knew you were a rapist!”

“I no rape. We mate!”

“No means no, Pedro! This is rape!”

“Relax. It will feel good.”

 

 

 

“Brother! What on green earth are you doing with my husband?! Are you mating with him?!”

 

 

 

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“I can’t believe you, brother! You can not mate with my husband! We are married now! You were only suppose to still pollination him. Not mate with him! He’s already carrying your triplets. I forbid you from mating with him anymore!”

 

 

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“Borage, my host. I can mate with him still. I enjoy last time. I want to mate with him more. Genies are great love. You cannot forbid me. You already removed your egg. Borage is mine.”

 

 

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“I never removed my egg brother. I just deactivated it. Now he has 2 eggs in him. This can kill him for sure. I don’t care rather you enjoy mating with him or not. He is my husband now. You have no say in this matter. Now you must remove your egg. You can’t take complete ownership in him!”

 

 

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“Sister, you lied! This can harm my offspring! If this harm my offspring, I will be angry!”

 

 

 

“Brother, I am sorry. I had no idea you were going to use method 1. You used method 2 last time. I felt that you were against method 1, on Earth using method 1 on a straight male would be difficult. I can assure you, that your offspring will be fine. I will remove my egg from Borage since you completed your task. But promise me you won’t tell Borage about this. I want to stay married to him. If he thinks my egg is still in him, he wouldn’t dare try to divorce me.”

 

 

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“I will promise, only if we him tonight like we do on Ziharia. Our home. Don’t you miss sharing? Dinzus were our thing on Zharia. You lost touch with Ziharian customs. We can do them here. On Earth it’s called, Threesomes. I learn from Google. I know Borage no touch you in great  while. Borage has no free will. He cannot reject you. We should have Dinzu with Borage, sister.”

 

 

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“Have a Dinzu with Borage? I know it’s been a while since we done a Dinzu like on our planet Ziharia. I guess we could do this just this once with Borage.”

 

 

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“But I must admit I have gotten use to Earth customs.  This isn’t normal for Earthlings, you know. Brother and sister teaming up for a threesome. I rather mate with Borage while he still has his free will. But you are right, Borage haven’t touched him in months. With him being pregnant with your offspring, I find it hard to get him  intimate with me. He’s so.. moody.”

 

 

“Oh this amazing! I couldn’t get Borage to perform oral on me when he has free will. I needed this!”

“Sister, do not talk. I remember why we stop Dinzu. You talk too much.”

“Sorry, brother.”

 

 

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“I have removed my egg from Borage. Your offspring should be fine. Maybe we talk about you finding a real mate. You know you can’t keep wiping Borage’s mind like this. It’s harmful and can fry his brain. I’m sure there’s other genies on this planet you could have as a mate. Borage has a twin sister who is genie. Or maybe I could convince Sha-“

 

 

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“Sister! Do not say her name. I want nothing to do with her. Don’t bring up painful past.”

 

 

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“Brother, I am not. I figure maybe you wanted a Ziharian. You loved her once. Time has past by, maybe you should forgive her. This with Borage have to stop. Wouldn’t you prefer a mate who has their free will? Earth is different from Ziharia. They may be as promiscuous as us but here they have sexual preferences. Borage is what they call a “Heterosexual”. He prefers the female species.  If you’re not willing to forgive.. her, then perhaps I can help find you a genie mate. Your old has been asking about you. She’s here on Earth now.”

 

 

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“I don’t care to know about Sha’tifa. I can never forgive her. After all she done. Never forgive. I prefer a genie mate, sister. You are right, I need free willing mate. But Borage is idiot. Don’t think it’s possible to fry his brain.”

 

 

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I really don’t remember laying down for a nap. I really hate being pregnant. Why can’t it be over by now? The last pregnancy was short. This has been lasting for a bunch of months. Hella lame.

 

 

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“Why is my ass sore again?! Damn it Fayon! I’m getting tired of you using your rape toys on me while I’m asleep!”

 

 

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I invited my parents to come stay for a few days. My mom was the first to show but I saw she bought Rosette along with her. Can she go anywhere without that psycho?! I told mom not to bring her cause I know how she gets around my dad. I’m sure her and Fayon will be along well because they are both fucking crazy.

 

 

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“Oh Asian kid, where is my love Liam? I know he’s here. It’s been so long since I made sweet love with my boo. I know my boo thang is missing me right now. My coochie is ready and restored after I pushed out Thing 1 and Thing 2.  I swear those creatures of the night almost destroyed my goods! Especially Thing 1 with his giant ears!”

 

 

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“You must be Rosette, you’re the crazy one that my dad told me about. I told my friends I have a Uncle named Morphine. Why do you give your kids stupid names?”

 

 

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“Shut up you little punk! Who are you calling crazy?! Just tell me where my boo thang is so I can love on him. My body is ready. That giant ear monster baby almost destroyed my hot body. I think that’s why Liam sent me back home. I’m perfect now, WHERE IS MY MAN?!”

 

 

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“If this is how you gonna act, Rose I wish I made you stayed home. No one has time for you to obsess over  man who doesn’t like you! Liam will never love you!”

 

 

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“Hey mom, I’m glad to see you but why did you bring her with you? I didn’t want any drama here. I’m already stressed out.”

 

 

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“I’m sorry, Bubba. I was going to bring Fifi with me but your grandmother wouldn’t let me take her with me. She said school was important and some shit.  She could of went to school here. I had a extra ticket and Rosette took it. Your grandmother said I had to take her with me and we can’t come home pregnant either.”

 

 

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“Why would Grandmama want to torture me like this? I thought I was her favorite grandson? I already have a crazy female here. My wife. I don’t need 2 crazies in my house. Mimi doesn’t need to see this you know. She’s been recovering well.”

 

 

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“She said she didn’t want to deal with her. I had no choice Bubba. But I see you put on some weight, Bubba. How much cake have you been eating? I think you need to run to the gym like now.”

 

 

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“I wish it was weight gain but it’s not. I’m pregnant.”

 

 

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“Bubba, how? You’re a boy. I remember you having a penis when I changed your diapers those couple of times when you were just my little Bubba boo baby.”

 

 

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“Aliens, mom. It was aliens. Remember Pedro, the rapist I was telling you about? He got me pregnant again. I don’t know how or when. But I do know that he did. He was always grabbing my ass and saying “Tonight, you.” I think he raped me.”

 

 

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“Wait so you’re telling me that you have a rapist living in your house who gets you pregnant? Why can’t you kick him out? Do you like getting raped in the ass? You know they make special sex toys for ones who like ass play. Maybe you buy one, Bubba.”

 

 

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“I wouldn’t like ass play mom. My ass is exit only! I’m pretty sure he used his alien magic to get me pregnant but I still say he’s a rapist some way. I wish I could kick him out but he does help out with these kids so I don’t have to deal with them.”

 

 

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“Alien magic? Sounds like a lame alien. No probing ass play? That’s boring.”

 

 

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“Mama, I rather take the boring alien magic than getting my ass probed. If that ever happened then I will be forever scarred.”

 

 

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“Well the aliens in Sunlit Tides do the whole ass probed thing. They’ve taken Rosette a bunch of time and always probing her in the ass. Now she just comes back even more crazier.”

 

 

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“That’s impossible for Rosette to be more crazier than what she already is. Rosette’s crazy level is over 9000.”

 

 

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“I guess that’s true. Anyway, where’s your dad? Isn’t he coming too?”

 

 

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“Shit. I forgot that I was suppose to pick him up 3 hours ago. I guess I was really sleepy. I didn’t remember laying down for a nap. But I took a nap just a bit ago. I better go get him.”

 

 

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“You go do that, Bubba. I’ll feed my grandbabies with my magic genie food.”

 

 

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I bet my dad is probably pissed that I forgot to pick him up. I’m sure he’ll be okay. I can just blame these space babies. I know they are the ones who make me forget shit and make me passed out.

 

 

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“Hey handsome. I notice you been standing out here for while.”

“Yeah, I’m waiting on my son to pick me up. He’s very late.”

 

 

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“Shame on him, making you wait all this time. Doesn’t he know that sometimes there are some scary vampires lurking in the shadows, waiting to dine on a handsome fella like yourself? Shame on him. Where are you from, handsome?”

 

 

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“I’ll be fine. I can handle a few scary vampires. My name is Liam, I’m from Twinbrook. I’m here to visit my son and meet my grandchildren.”

 

 

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“Twinbrook, huh? I have a aunt and a cousin living in Twinbrook. I’m Nyx, I’m from Lucky Palms but I travel around now. I do have a cousin staying here and was thinking of visiting him. He has a bunch of kids.. so I don’t know now. You’re too young to be a grandfather now.”

 

 

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“It’s nice to meet you Nyx. My son didn’t take any of my advice and now he has a bunch of kids. If he’s anything like his mother, then my grandchildren are doomed. You should still visit your cousin even if he has a bunch of kids like my son. Children are wonderful. I love kids, I have a bunch myself.”

 

 

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“Don’t tell me you’re one of those 100 baby people? I like kids but I can’t handle too many at a time. My cousin is a idiot and I’m sure his idiot genes passed down to his kids. I might drop by to check on him.”

 

 

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“But since you been waiting on your son, maybe I can help you kill some time until he shows up.”

 

 

 

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“Hmm, what do you have in mind Nyx?”

 

 

 

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“Maybe we can check out that photo booth?”

 

 

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“I think we can do that.”

 

 

 

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“I think I’m gonna keep this.”

 

 

 

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“That was amazing, Liam.”

“You’re pretty amazing yourself.”

“I think I should be going now. My sister has a gig in town tonight. She’s a DJ living in Bridgeport, she’s a better DJ than our cousin.”

“Funny, my son is a DJ too.”

“It’s been fun, handsome.”

“Yeah, it has.”

 

 

 

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“I’ll leave you this to remember me by, Liam. Stay sexy.”

 

 

 

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I showed up as I saw my cousin Nyx Montigo run off. I had no idea she’s even in town. I wonder if her twin is playing in town. That would be the only reason why she would be in town. I have a female cousin who DJs too. She calls herself, Nina Pink. She lives in Bridgeport. I know The Edge is having huge party tonight. I wish I could watch my cousin perform but I’m not stepping foot in that place until I have these space creatures.

 

 

 

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“Sorry for being late, dad. Shit happens.”

 

 

 

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“I’ve been calling and texting you for 3 hours? Where were you? I guess it’s okay. I enjoined the company of that lovely vampire lady while I waited for you to come pick me up.”

 

 

 

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“Enjoined her company? Please tell me that you didn’t just fuck her?”

 

 

 

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“What difference does it make rather I did or not. Like it’s any of your concern. I see you have been busy.”

 

 

 

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“That lovely vampire that just left is my cousin, Nyx Montigo. And if you’re implying that I fucked a alien and gotten pregnant by it, then you’re wrong. It was alien magic, dad. Alien magic!”

 

 

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“Nyx is your cousin? I had no idea. I guess she and I were talking about the same person. It’s hard to believe that she is your cousin. She seems normal.”