Disco Insanity: Log#4 – I’m an Acrobat

“I wasn’t finished getting read for our date my beloved! Don’t you want me when I’m all prettied all?”

 

 

 

“What are you all pissed off about? I was asleep you know.”

“The wrong alien took me. I need someone to complain to about it.”

“Okay, bitch about this with me later. I’m a chicken and I’m asleep at this hour.”

“I don’t care! I wanna talk now!”

“Look here ho…”

“No you look here!”

 

 

…………….

 

 

 

 

“How about a hug?”

“I don’t do hugs.”

“Oh how come on. One hug doesn’t hurt.”

“Hugs are filled with happiness with love.”

“Yeah, true.”

“Happiness and love is pain that I cannot bare.”

“What! Happiness and love isn’t painful, sourpuss!”

 

 

“Evil chicken, come talk to me.”

“Can you bitches let me sleep?”

“My sister said being happy makes her hurt. Why she gotta be a sourpuss?”

“Why do you gotta be annoying?”

“I’m not annoying! You’re annoying!”

“I’m annoying?”

“Yeah!”

 

 

“You came to wake me up to complain about something stupid that I can’t do nothing about and you’re calling me annoying? You got some nerve, STD girl.”

“Who you calling an STD?!”

“Your name is chlamydia isn’t it?”

“It’s Khlamydia with a K so there’s a huge difference you big idiot face!”

“Whatever, just go away like now.” 

 

 

“I had to get a new job cause my boss said men don’t like wearing skirts! Can you believe this shit?”

“Look it’s early. I didn’t get much sleep cause you and your STD sister wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“I gotta find a new job! I’m mad.”

“I think it’s for the better.”

“I wanted to be a stylist!”

 

 

 

“How about being an acrobat?”

“Hmm I never thought about being one. I guess that would be fun.”

“Good. I hope you break all of your bones.”

“What?”

 

 

What are you doing?

“Spray painting a mural on my house. I want to do 3 of these.”

You want 3 ugly murals on your house? Why not around town instead?

“I want memory of my awful mistakes. Besides, this star is pretty. I’m gonna be a star since I’m going to be an acrobat.”

 

 

“Awesome! I’m an acrobat now. I gotta let the town know of this amazing news.”

 

 

 

“People of Lunar Lakes! I am now an Acrobat. I demand that you give me money when I perform. So get over here now and give me your money cause I need it! I am a star!”

 

 

 

“Well? I’m waiting! Give me your money! All of it! I know you bitches have some money! I seen you around town, stuffing your fat faces with fattening food!”

 

 

 

“I know you’re in there! I can hear you breathing! You’re all still fat!”

 

 

 

“I’m gonna show these guys that I’m the best acrobat in space! This is always been my dream since the evil chicken suggested this. I got this career in the bag.”

 

 

 

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoaaaaaa! This wind is really taking me awayyyyyyy! Stop it dude! So not cool!”

 

 

“Oof.. Could of given me a softer landing…”

 

 

“I totally meant to do that!”

 

Disco Insanity: Log#3, Abduction of the heart

“How come we didn’t have one of these at daddy’s?”

Like if any of you would use it. Besides you’re only using this cause you rolled a wish to make a pizza.

“I would had. I’m a dough spinning machine. I can bake the best pizza ever. Maybe I should run my own pizza joint.”

Let’s not..

“You don’t think I can do it? I can!”

You need to focus on your goal.

“Oh yeah! Marry a alien!”

Yes but not.. You want to be a heartbreaker…

“Oh yeah that. I gotta have 10 boyfriends and rip their hearts out and possibly eat them. I bet heart juice would make good pasta sauce.”

No more horror movies for you.

 

 

 

“Like seriously, I make the bestest pizza ever. Where’s those butt babies sisters of mine? They are missing out on this awesomest of pizza!”

I’m sure they are nearby.

“They better come get some cause I’m gonna eat this whole pizza and not give a fuck about calories.”

 

 

 

“Who’s the most awesomest girl ever? Me of course!”

 

 

 

 

“And I’m the most sexest too. Who wouldn’t wanna get with this? I think I got my sexy from my sexy daddy cause he’s the most awesomest daddy even if he hates me cause I came out his asshole. My other daddy is okay I guess but he’s kinda gay. I love my sexy daddy and my almost gay daddy too! They made me so cool!”

 

 

 

“I wonder why I got vampire teeth. Am I a vampire? Could that be possible? Oh wait.. I got them from sexy daddy! Am I a genie? I wanna more cool like Aries!”

 

 

 

 

“You’re a stupid alien with green skin! I bet your tits are all saggy and gross!”

 

 

 

 

“I don’t care much for your rude comments there, reflection girl! You’re mad cause you aren’t awesome like sexy daddy and me!”

 

 

 

“You’re a stinky ass baby and you smell like genie shit! I hate you so much right now! I hate you so much so right! UGGGHHHHH!!!”

Okay… moving on…

 

 

 

“No no no. I don’t wanna hear it. You’re just a asshole who needs to be fired in a skillet. I let you stay here and you’re not giving me a golden? What kind of magic golden goose are you?”

 

 

 

“What?! You’re just a evil chicken? I wanted a golden goose to give me chocolate! I didn’t want a evil chicken who make rude ass comments about my outfit. I gots all kinds of fashion sense. You just be hatin’!”

 

 

 

“Hey! Get back here! I’m not done giving you a miserable time!”

 

 

 

 

“Fine, leave. I’ll just go swim naked cause it’s my wish. You know the saying, my wish is my command. That’s what my brother say to his annoying girlfriend but she’s kinda hot. I would lesbian for her.”

It’s “Your wish is my command.

“Same thing! Anyway, like my daddy would say, “It’s naked time!”

 

 

 

“Whoa! I got a pool full of grape kool aid! I didn’t bring a cup!”

 

 

 

“It’s just water.. How disappointing. I was hoping to have a pool full of kool aid but it’s just water. I guess there’s no point in holding my bladder anymore.”

 

 

 

 

“DUMBASS!”

“I forgot you were here! Don’t do that!”

“I can’t help it. I’m evil.”

 

 

 

“That scare got me in the mood to fix a salad.”

You just ate, you’re not even hungry. 

“Well I gotta make this salad anyway. I gotta be the big sister and feed my little sisters.”

Luna is older than you…

 

 

 

“Oh right… Those bitches can fend for themselves. I’m going to bed.”

 

 

 

 

“I need a good night sleep. Tomorrow I start my awesome job as a stylist. Everyone is gonna be looking so fly like me!”

 

 

 

 

“Never mind, I gotta check out those strange lights outside.”

 

 

 

 

“So am I gonna get a invite to this rave or what?”

 

 

 

 

“I was really hoping for this happen but I gotta put on a face like I don’t wanna get probed but I really do! It’s hard to hide my excitement for anal probing!”

 

 

 

 

“I hope that was good for you like it was for me. I’m worn out. You’ll call me, right?”

“No.”

 

 

 

“You better call me if you know what’s good for you.”

 

 

 

 

“I not take threats kindly.”

“But I loves you. You abducted my heart. We are belong together foreverest.”

“I go. You go take meds.”

“You got what I need baby. You love me right? Didn’t the anal probing mean anything to you like it did for me?”

“No, it amused me.”

“Well I loved it but use your alien cock next time, Frabbit!”

“Not good idea. Bye.”

Disco Insanity: Log#2 Lilah Invasion

Where are you going?

“To hang with some friends.”

Friends? You just moved here, when did you get some “friends”.

“I just need to just say hi and then they are my friends.”

I guess so…

“I know so! Check out my sweet ride! I just got lasers installed.”

Um why do you need lasers?

“Lasers are cool!”

Something tells me this is going to go terribly wrong.

 

 

 

“Greetings space peoples! I’m Lilah Montigo and I come to force you into being my friends. I got daddy issues so I’m not responsible for what I’m about to do.”

 

 

 

“What are you about to do?”

 

 

 

 

“I’m about to make it rain…”

 

 

 

 

“LASERS!”

 

 

 

 

“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I DON’T WANNA GET SHOT WITH A LASER! I’M SORRY! I WON’T STEAL NO MORE HAMBURGERS! I SWEAR I WON’T STEAL NO MORE HAMBURGERS!”

 

 

 

 

“AHHHH!!! IT’S A ALIEN INVASION!”

“HOW? AREN’T WE ON A ALIEN PLANET?”

“YES! NO! MAYBE! I DUNNO! THE LASERS!”

“MOMMY?!”

“WHO’S BEING A TERRIBLE PARENT BY LEAVING THEIR KID IN A ALIEN INVASION?!”

 

 

 

“HEY YOU ALMOST SHOT ME, YOU JERK!”

 

 

 

 

“WILL YOU ALL BE MY FRIENDS NOW?!”

“NO YOU’RE A CRAZY BITCH!”

“THAT WAS NO THE CORRECT ANSWER! BE MY FRIEND!”

“NO!”

 

 

 

“If you all be my friends then I’ll stop! Deal?”

 

 

 

 

“ALIENS? HERE? OH NO! I CAN’T BELIEVE WE ARE HAVING A ALIEN INVASION!!”

Hold up, why would you panicked about aliens? You’re a alien yourself!

“I’m only half alien! My daddy is a genie! So I’m only half panicking!”

Um…okay. You do know that’s your insane sister, right?

“Really? How did she get a UFO? Shouldn’t I too?”

You do.

“Oh! Why didn’t you tell me?”

I did.

“Oh.. I couldn’t hear you over the sounds of my other voices!”

 

 

 

“They didn’t want to be my friends.”

Really? You’re surprised? You shot lasers at random for no reason.

“I wanted to show everyone how cool my lasers were.”

I think you killed a guy….

 

 

 

“Maybe he should of moved and then he wouldn’t gotten killed.”

And you don’t feel remorseful after killing a man?

“No, it’s not like I wanted to kill the man. Next he will know better.”

He’s dead, there is no next time.

 

 

 

 

“Yeah huh! He can come back as ghost!”

Maybe but it’s kinda hard to kill a ghost.

“It’s possible to kill a ghost! I killed many ghosts!”

When?

 

 

 

“I played pac man!”

Disco Insanity: Log#1, This will do

 

“Awesome! I made to Lunar Lakes with blowing up in space! But why am I wearing a girls scout outfit?”

Cause you’re crazy and Borage wouldn’t let you join girls scouts when you were a child.

“Oh yeah! Daddy didn’t know who I was. I wonder if I can sell cookies.”

Aren’t you too old for that?

“Nah! Never too old to sell cookies in a girl scouts outfit. I better go earn my badges.”

Ummmm

“What?”

Nothing…

 

 

 

“Who is she?”

Your sister.

“You don’t remember me?”

“Not really.. “

“But we moved back home when you were 16.”

“Oh yeah.. You’re a butt baby.”

“Hey!”

“Just saying cause it smells like ass in here.”

 

 

 

“Why does everyone call me a butt baby?”

Cause when your dad gave birth-

“Never mind! I don’t wanna know!”

 

 

I saw you rolled a wish for a job. Great start!

“I wanna be a stylist.”

Um..why? Are you sure about this?

“Yeah. I got good taste in fashion.”

You can’t be serious…

“What? I do! Isn’t my outfit cute? I picked the colors myself!”

This world is doomed..

“Yeah doomed to look fabulous!”

Are you liking the new hot tub?

“Yep, I wanted to take a dip in it like daddy always did. Now I wanna skinny dip.”

I guess you could do that later but why are you in your formal wear?

“I wanted to be a plant soaking in water.”

Right. Why did I even ask.

“Can I join? I’m in my formal wear too.”

“I didn’t want any butt babies in my hot tub. You are just gonna make it smell like ass.”

“I know I was born out of daddy’s ass but that doesn’t mean I smell like it. I take baths! I’m clean. I swear so stop calling me a butt baby. I didn’t pick to be born that way.”

 

 

 

 

“Your name is a STD so I’m not sure about that.”

“I’m a virgin, stupid! I didn’t pick my name. Our great-aunt did.”

“Well just don’t dirty up my hot tub or you will pay.”

“I got alien powers.. Don’t fuck with me.”

“And I got genie powers.”

Girls….

“Dia started it!”

 

 

 

“Check out my shoes. You like them?”

Those are nice.

“I love my new shoes. I can’t til my first client. She’s gonna have nice heels like these.”

What if your client is a guy?

“He’ll look great in heels too.”

 

 

 

“Who are you talking to?”

 

 

 

 

“The brain llama, who else?”

“He came back?”

“She came back. I thought he was a boy but he was a girl but it’s cool. You like me shoes too?”

 

 

 

 

“Those are nice but check out mines.”

“Hooker boots, classy.”

“At least I look like a classy hooker.”

 

 

 

 

Are you going to join your sisters?

“Yeah right. Like I wanna be around those idiots.”

Well you do live with them, it’s not like you can avoid them.

“The house is big enough, I think I can. I’m enjoying the peace over here.”

I guess you would be a bit under dressed since you forgot your swimsuit.

“Nah.. I wanted to see what’s the big fuss of skinny dip since Borage does it all the time.”

Will you ever call him “dad”?

“It’s not in my nature to call him “dad”. Yeah he gave me life but that means nothing. You know how much of a dick he was to me when I was little.”

I guess you have a point but it got better when you were older.

“Bitch Lois changed him.. I’m glad he’s not pussy whipped anymore.”

But he was nice to you, isn’t that what you wanted?.

“And I don’t like “nice”.”

Then I’m not sure what you are complaining about..

“I don’t like him but he gave me money. I guess I like him now.”

What about your Suziu?

“Not so much now since he’s the reason why I’m hiding out here. I’m not having babies!”

That’s what you think…

“Excuse me? You better not.. You’re not suppose to control me anyway.”

I do what I want.

“Well shit.”