Camp Tigo 2 ISBI: Day 10

All I asked for was a baby and I get abducted again. Why won’t you green varmints just let me be.




Borage: I’m just stilling in the puddle.

Rose: Yeah right, we know that you just pissed on yourself.

Kiki: We all do, no need to be a shame of it now.



Selene: There is a man behind you.

Isela: I know. I can feel his boner.

Anson: So ya like? Eh?



Seth: That’s nasty. You just gonna pee right there?

Selene: My gosh… I am terrified by this.

Arna: You guys wouldn’t move.

Anson: We weren’t in the way.

Isela: We need another bathroom cause we are so stupid.




I was just in the stall… Oh dear!




Isela: Dude, really?

Anson: I thought you went in there to pee? Was the toilet not good enough for you?


Malix: Stop judging me guys!



I was going to shower but this grass feels nice. I go to sleep now.





Selene: You’re really gonna sleep next to a puddle of pee?

Isela: I regret nothing.





I am not sure about what I’m looking at.




Borage: WTF happen to you?

Quincy: Gettin’ mah tan on.

Borage: Well you suck at it.




No I don’t want no scrub. A scrub is a guy who can’t get no love from me. Hanging on the passenger side, in his best friend’s ride. Tryin’ to holler at me! ♫





Isela: Check me out! They call me DJ Disco Panties!

Seth: Should you be in the kitchen?




Makayla: If we close our eyes and open them, we’ll be in a magical place.

Isaiah: I swear if this doesn’t work, I’m taking your apple juice.




I thought this only happen at night!!!





We no tell time.




Borage: Well brat? You gonna talk or sit there and look dumb. I’m your master and I command that you speak at once.

Linnea: ….




I can talk, father but I refuse to speak at your command. I am not a puppy. I do what I want.




Carrie: Say spaghetti sauce, cause that’s what you look like. C’mon red baby, say spaghetti sauce!

Shawn: You look like a old tomato, vile woman!





Mikhai: How will this mirror will teach me to talk? All I can see is how sexy I am.

Bryony: EA logic, dude. I’m gonna talk so much shit when I learn.




I hear voices…..





Dude were talking… Can you understand us??!!






Thing 1: Where you going?!

Thing 2: Away from you. You cry too much.

Thing 1: I do no such thing… WAAAHHHH!!!!




Thing 1: Hey.. where you going? I’m not crying now.

Thing 2: I just don’t like you.

Thing 1: That hurts.. I’m going to cry.




Thing 1: You came back.

Thing 2: I got hungry.

Thing 1: You found food?

Thing 2: No just this stick.




Borage: I need for you to speak so daddy can have a drink and you go play. Speak now, brat. Daddy commands it.

Linnea: No.




Borage: You spoke! Daddy can have a drink now! Go away..




Kiki: Asshole.

Malix: Bitch… And you wonder why you don’t have friends.





Mikhai: Where did you go? You die?

Bryony: I’m right here! Open your eyes!

Mikhai: No. There’s a ghost foot behind you.

Love For The Ladies: Chapter 41, Mistakes

Note: The Ziharians are speaking in their native language which is why Pedro is suddenly speaking with better grammar. However when speaking to the kids, Pedro is speaking English to them. Pedro’s Ziharian name is Piedax.



“All my life I’ve been doing my best to move in the ranks and I’m stuck doing repair duty. I swear if those bastard offspring of Piedax broke this…. Why did he have to bring them all? This center isn’t big enough for those annoyances.”




“I do not understand… This reading doesn’t make any sense. I logged in the right information and still.. this reading is wrong. I do no wish to work another late night. I promise my children I would tuck them in tonight. It’s been too long that I have been away from them, especially Aries.”




“I can do it for you, Piedax. That way you will get to see your offspring other behind a glass screen. They ask about you, you know.”




“No need, Sha’tifa  I will do this, I just need to work faster. I have to do my own work. Don’t worry about me. My children and I are not your concern. Continue with your work while I do with mine.”




“I was just trying to help, Piedax.. I know how important it is to spend time with you offspring. I do wish that I had offspring of my own. You’re lucky to create some of your own… If I didn’t-“



“Betrayed me with him.. We could of had our own children together.. But you just had to.. You know what you did Sha’tifa. If I knew you would be working at this center.. I would of stayed on Earth…”




“Piedax.. I am sorry for everything. I don’t know how many times I have to say I’m sorry..”

“I do not want to hear it. I have work to do.”

“But Piedax..”

“Sha’tifa, we have work.. We may finish this discussion later. You don’t want the Superiors walking in and seeing you chatter like a mindless adolescent. I must stay focus on my work.”





“Can we speak now?”

“I do not wish..”

“But you said later on-“

“I lied. It was just to shut you so I could work and finish my assignment for the day.”

“I thought maybe.. We-“

“If you believe I will give you another chance during my stay, you are mistaken.”




“I miss you.. We can make this work…”

“No.. I can not trust you again.”

“What can I do to prove you can trust me again?”

“Go away.”




“Piedax.. I’m sorry. You were always so busy about obsessing over genies and trying to pinpoint there whereabouts on Earth. I got so lonely and he was willing to give me the attention I needed. You were never there, Piedax. I’m a Aqufinix, I have my sexual needs that need to be dealt with. I didn’t love him… it was just emotionless mating. Are you in love with your genie host? Is that the real reason why you refuse to work things out with me? It’s cause I’m not a genie…. Am I right?”




“My work was important. How else would move up in ranks? Maybe I should of given you more time but my work.. It was important. you knew how much it was for me. After creating a Navirhian like Aries, I could given you a better living. You knew about my mission to Earth, I had to find the perfect Navox genie first. You could of been more faithful to me but you chose not to. I am not rejecting you cause of the genie, you broke my heart and I can never forgive you for that. I need to do my soak now.”




“I hope you don’t mind me joining you. As a Aqufinix, I require more soaks than you Ziharians.”

“You require more of a lot of things…”






“I still love you.. We can-“

“Do not touch me!”

“I just miss you so much..”

“Coming here was a mistake. I need to go and check on my children.”

“Piedax… Please don’t go.”

“Fine, I will stay.”





“Tell me about the genie..”

“Borage is his name. Attractive human but stupid and a terrible father.”

“Then why pick him?”

“Attraction, purely attraction nonetheless. He has perfect genetics, that is why he was chosen.” 

“So you’re not in love with him by any chance?  Do you mate with him? You spent a lot of time on Earth with him.”

“I stay because he’s a idiot and I need to look after my children with him as well as his own. No I am not in love with him.  I had mated with him a few times but he has no memory of it. I can’t enjoy mating if I have to erase the memory of it.”

“Why? He doesn’t like it? You’re a wonderful lover… I do remember that..”

“Things on Earth are different from him. Do not have genderless mating there. Some males prefer females. Some females prefer males. Some males and females prefer both genders while some prefer one of the same gender. Borage, is what they call a Heterosexual  he prefers the opposite gender of himself. Borage wouldn’t willing mate with me however he would with Fayon as she is female.”

“That’s a strange place to live. I can’t see why you’re going back in a year.”

“My children must know their birth parent, he gave them life. It’s only right for them to know him. Since I completed my Earth assignment by creating Aries, I may return once my children are adults.”

“You call your offspring “children” a lot. Why?”

“Why not? I see my children more than creations.. I love them. They are children, my children. My time on Earth made me create a special bond with all of them.”




“I have some good news for you.”

“What is that, Eshu?”

“I’m all in the clear now.. You know what this means.”

“Is it possible?”




“I can marry you.”

“I can’t believe that I’m hearing this! We can marry now?”

“Yes. It turns out they found the real Ziharian who blew up the tower.”

“But Eshu… I am already married. To the genie on Earth.”

“So? Our world won’t count it.”

“But on Earth…”




“Divorce him.”





“I’m so sick of having to do this every single day. I study and analyze these offspring and they do nothing special. They are just regular Ziharian offspring. Something is telling me that I am being used as a babysitter…”





“Has anyone notice the weirdo who keep watching us?”

“Yeah Toshi.. It’s his job.”

“His job is to be a weirdo, Tuscan.”

“I want his job! Like I… I like watching others. Cause like last night I watched Auntie Fayon kiss and hug Eshu while naked . He got on top of her and she started to scream “Fuck me harder!” I thought she was being hurt but she seem like she liked. It looks like fun. When I get older I wanna naked hugs and kisses and yell “Fuck me harder!” It’s fun. I like to watch.”

“That sounds weird, Dia.”

“I doesn’t look weird, Toshi. Come with me next time.”

“Nah. I don’t wanna see Aunt Fayon nakie.”




“What are you 3 talking about?”

“Dia seeing weird stuff and liking it, Apollo.”

“It’s not weird until you see it yourself.”

“What did you see, Dia?”

“Your mom giving Eshu naked hugs and kisses, Apollo.”

“You’re not suppose to be watching that. Dia.”

“Well I did.. Whatcha gonna do? Tell on me? I like being yelled at.”

“Nothing.. I just wonder why we never see Aries anymore.”

“I heard they watch him in another room like he’s a prisoner.”

“He’s the special one so he gets special things in a different room so we won’t get jealous. That’s what Aunt Fayon say.”

“I miss Aries.”

“We all do…”




“I wonder why I can’t see the others.. It’s lonely in here by myself. The only time I see anyone is when I’m being studied.. I wanna go home…”





“Why must we do this everyday. I feel for Piedax’s offspring. They should be out playing with other Ziharian young. Does it bother that 2 of your own are with them, Fayon?”

“Why yes it does but it’s the rule.. They must be studied as well.”

“But why?”

“My offspring have the same parent as the septuplets. I was impregnated with him.”

“Isn’t that against the rules? Wasn’t the genie Piedax’s host?”

“Yes but this was a special case because of the host being genie occult.”

“You don’t mind sharing him?”

“Not at all.”




“Piedax, I must speak with you. It’s about Aries.”

“He is okay, isn’t he?”

“No…yes.. but no.”

“I do not understand?”

“Aries.. had another transformation and the Superiors are not happy about it.”





“Another transformation?”

“Correct. I think you should see for yourself. It’s against the rules but.. I think you should.”

“I have not seen my son in 3 years.”

“Come with me.”




“You see the problem?”

“His skin… It has changed..”

“Correct. Aries appears too human for the Superiors liking. They say the original Navirhian didn’t go through another transformation.”

“What does this means?”

“He’s not a Navirhian. You will have to return to Earth until you get it right.” 




“I don’t understand.. He have to be one. What did the results say? Doesn’t he both Ziharian and genie powers?”

“I’m not sure..”

“Perhaps  maybe one of the test that was done on him changed him?”

“Not possible.”

“Can I come out now?”

“I must see the test results.. I do not know why his skin would change. He has to be a Navirhian.”





“Suziu? Can I come out? Please? I promise I’ll be good and do the test without crying. I wanna see my brothers and sisters again. Suziu? Can you hear me? Please…”





“Let me in there. I must speak with my son.”

“I can’t do that.. You’re not allow to..”

“I do not care. Aries is my child.. I haven’t felt the touch of his skin since he was a infant. I wish to speak with my child.”





“Can anyone hear me?! I said I’ll be good! Just let me out! I’m sorry! I’m really am! Just let me out! I’m sorry!”





“Aries is upset.. I must go in.”

“He’s always crying like that. It annoys the Superiors.. I can’t let you in. The rules set by the Superiors-“






“Piedax.. I’m just doing my job.. I wasn’t suppose to let you see him.. I did enough.”

“Let me in! I do not like seeing my child upset like this! He is scared!”




“Alright.. I’ll let you in but if you get caught… You’re on your own…”

“I will take full responsibility! Now let me in at once!”

“Fine.. I’ll get the key.”





“Suziu! I missed you!”

“I miss you too.”

“When can I leave? I’ll be good.”

“I not know, Aries.  I will get you out, soon. I make promise.”

“I wanna see everyone. I don’t like this room.”

“I know. I not like see you in room. You not happy, and alone. This not good for child. I am sorry, son.”





“I’m really miss you and the others. How come I haven’t seen you in a really long time?”

“I was allowed not.. I want to see you but I was forbid. I am here now. We spend time before bed.”

“Can you read me a Earth story?”

“I can do.”




“I liked that story. When are we going back to Earth? I want to see daddy. Will he remember us?”

“Yes, Borage will remember. We go back in year. You will stay, never come back here.”

“Good cause I never want to come back here. Why didn’t we stay on Earth with daddy?”

“You were special. I had to bring but it was mistake. They treat you bad. I am not great Suziu…”

“I think you’re a great Suziu.. I love you.”

“I love you too.”




“Brother… You’re not suppose to be in there.. If you’re caught.. They will… I can’t think of that..”





“We will leave soon. I promise. You sleep good. I promise to make time good til we go. Night, mini Borage.”





“Brother, that was dangerous.. You could of been caught. It won’t be long before we leave. In fact we shall be leaving sooner. They are rejecting Aries, we have to send him back to Earth along with the others. You job isn’t done.”

“I didn’t care if I got caught… I would die peacefully knowing that I got to bond and comfort my child before my life was taken.. Coming here was a mistake. We should of stayed.”

“You know if you create another one.. you’ll have to return back.”

“I will not.”

“Brother… they will find you and terminate you if you create another one without reporting.”

“I don’t care.. I will never bring my child here. I will send test results from Earth. My children will live as children and not test subjects.”

“What if they don’t like that and request you bring the offspring.”

“I will refuse. They can have my life but not my child..”



Dear Borage,

The children are doing find on my home planet. We shall be returning back to Earth in 2 months as your son Aries was rejected by my brother’s Superiors. We will see you shortly. I know you were asking for a divorce and you shall get it because I was asked to be married by another Ziharian. I know this will break your heart as your love for me is great. I am sorry. – Fayon Xip





Dear Fayon,

This is a pic of me giving a fuck. As you can see, I’m not.  – BMG

Love For The Ladies: Chapter 40, G-Daddy B.

If I thought my life was getting boring then I would wrong as my life if on the verge  of becoming more interesting. My kids were the blame for it. Maybe Lois and I should of been focus on the teens as much as we do with the younger ones.  It’s just some many of them running around the house doing who knows what. Maybe if Greta stayed then this wouldn’t be a issue.  It’s just 2 adults and a army are hormonal teens and cranky kids who refuse to go the bed without a bedtime story. Like seriously brats… go the fuck asleep already. These kids are wearing me thin and letting run free was a huge mistake. I can only do so much… 





“Why did you want to meet here after school? Are you ill?”

“Yeah..kinda.. I haven’t been feeling well so I came here.”

“Are you going to be okay?”





“I will be for the most part…”

“What’s wrong? Is it serious?”

“No..maybe.. It depends on how you look at it…”

“Tell me Ash. I hope everything will be okay.”




“I’m pregnant.”

‘Wha- .. Huh?”

“Were going to have a baby, L2..”

“But we only done it once. How could this be?”

“It only takes one time.. I’m scared, L2..”

“I’m not sure what to say now..”





“Are we going to keep it?”

“I do if you do. If not.. I’m okay with adoption.”

“I dunno.. I kinda want to keep the baby. You think Lois and your dad will be mad at us?”

“My dad maybe.. but I know Lois won’t be please but we’ll be fine. I think we can raise this baby.”

“I guess we better look for jobs then.”

“Maybe but I come from a rich family, I have my own trust fund.”

“We can’t live on that alone. It will dry out.”

“You have no idea how much, Ash. We’ll be fine.”





“Were keeping our baby then?”

“Yeah.. I think you’ll be a good mother.”

“What about school? How can I go to school and care for a baby.”

“I’ll do home school while you still go to regular. Everything will be okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Ash. Come here. You know that I love you and will always be there for you and the baby. Trust me, everything will be fine. We should get ready for prom. I’ll tell my dad afterwards.”

“Okay. Sounds like a plan.”




“Your name is Lakey, right?”


“I notice you join auto class recently. I didn’t know you were interest in cars. That’s kinda cool.”

“It’s kinda my new thing. Are you going to prom tonight?”

“I would but no date.”

“That’s too bad. I was thinking of going even though I don’t have a date.”




“What if I be your date for prom?”

“Really? I guess that would be cool.”

“I’ll admit that I’m not much of dancer but I think it would be fun.”

“Yeah, I was hoping you would ask me for prom.”






“It’s because I like you, Bruce. I tried to get your attention but I figure you weren’t interested.”





“Oh I’m interested, Lakey. I’m sorry that I was acting like a douche towards you. I just didn’t know. It’s hard to read girls now days.”

“You’re forgiven. I think maybe we should get ready for prom. It’s almost time.”

“I think we should..”




“What is this in the sky? It’s so pretty. I think I better get going to my prom dateless. It would be nice to go with a alien lova. A girl could dream.”





“What’s going on? Where am I going? Am I being finally abducted?! I’m gonna return home as a woman!”





“That was awesome! Those aliens really know how to get their freak on. I’m glad it was with a Ziharian who made me into a woman. Now I can join the I-just-got-laid club with my brothers. I even beat BL! How cool is that?”





“But I’m going to miss my Ziharian lova. I hope he calls me someday and we’ll get married then have loads of alien-genie babies.”





“He’ll totally call me. I’m awesome. I wonder if daddy will beat up the alien who deflower me? Who am I kidding? Daddy doesn’t remember I’m even his kid most of the time. Oh daddy, why won’t you love me? I think I will blame my daddy issues on my obsession of alien loving.”





“Dad, I need to tell you something.. My gosh.. What happen to her hair?”

“It got stressed, Lois needs to relax it. Is that all?”

“ There’s something important that I need to tell you.”

“You got laid, I know. You assholes won’t stop talking about how you finally fucked. Just let it be know, you jerks will never be on my level of magic lovings.”


“Well what is it?”





“Please don’t get mad but you’re going to be a grandfather soon.”

“Grand pimp?”

“No dad.. Ashley is pregnant with my child.”


“I’m going to be a dad, not sure how clearer I can be on this subject.”

“No.. I’m too sexy to be a grandpa.”

“I’m sorry.. But we plan on keeping the baby.”

“Just letting you know I think you’re asshole for making me into a grandpa so soon. I’m not even old looking. I can’t be a grandpa.”

“I am sorry dad.. But what’s done is done.  Look at it this way, you’ll be the most coolest grandpa in town.”

“I guess you’re right. That brat ain’t calling me “grandpa” Too sexy for that title.”





Bruce-Lee started to bring a decent girl around the house. It wasn’t long before she turned him into a man. I’m glad he didn’t pick no hag like L2. They started to date and she was around a lot. Lois wasn’t happy about my teens swiping their V cards suddenly. Apparently Lilah is one of mine and she lost hers to a alien who abducted her.

Lois felt it was time to talk to the teens about safe sex and she tried to banned me from talking to me about. Last I knew, these jerks were my kids. If they wanna come to me for advice, they should. My only concern is that my Babycake haven’t swiped hers. I could careless about what Bora Bora or Bitchzilla  did or not. My Baby cake better hold onto her card until she’s 50!





I’m not sure how I feel about being a granddad soon. I’m just too sexy to be having some brat calling me “grandpa”. The news of Ashley’s pregnancy didn’t set well with Lois. She felt I should of been more outrage about it. Honestly I don’t know how I feel about it and try to ignore it. Lois gave them both a talking to and felt I should join in but I didn’t care really. 

Lois said I need to be more of dad now but I’m doing the best I can. I wish she would get off my ass about parenting and shit. She’s getting on my nerves and it makes me want to send Lani a pic of my magically genie dick. I just have days were I wish I was single… I hate to say that but I feel that the love is fading. Lois and I don’t spend one on one time anymore. I just want some special attention more often. These annoying kids are preventing it from happening…





“Yo Sono, it’s me Morde-train. I was wondering can you turn on your cam and you show me dem titties again. I so wanna motorboat those babies again 😉 “





“Guys… I think it’s time.”

“Time for what? Dance like idiots?”

“Ohmigosh! It is time for the baby, Ash?!”

“Yes! L2! I’m scared!”

“Oh no it’s hammer time!”

“No Lilah! It’s labor time!”

“Oh then let’s do that gloriously labor dance and be useless!”

“Ohmigosh! Ohmigosh! Ohmigosh! Ohmigosh!”

“You guys aren’t helping at all! This hurts!”

“That’s why were doing the glorious useless labor dance!”





“L2?! Why did you stop doing the glorious useless labor dance with me?!”

“I think I should tell dad to drive us to the hospital.”

“But.. but… I was having some much fun.”





“Were going to leave now, you can keep on doing whatever it is you’re doing.”

“But the dance… it’s not done! Something about that chair makes me wanna scream and shout for babies!”

“How was it possible that were twins? You’re a idiot.”

“The dance will be please the great Brain llama!”

“I’m leaving.”





I drove my kid and his girl to the hospital. A day later they were parents to a baby girl they named Alyssa. What’s interesting about my grandbaby that she was born a genie. I guess L2 has some of my genie blood lingering in him even if he wasn’t one himself.





6 months had flow by and little Alyssa is looking beautiful even if her mom is a hag. She got my hair and genie powers, it’s awesome to see my genes in my grandbaby. Now I just gotta teach her how not to be a hag like her mom and a nerd like her dad.

Of course with a new baby in the house, less time with Lois….





Instead I filled my time with this little angel. I didn’t think I would like this kid but I realize she’s really not my responsibility. She’s L2’s problem. My job is to spoil her then hand her back to one of her parents and make them deal with her. It’s fun to watch L2 and Ash struggle to get her happy again when I hand her back. I adore this baby girl, she’s a awesome kid and likes me more. This kid knows I’m the cool one. But there’s no way in hell she’s gonna call me “grandpa” Just call me G-Daddy B.





“Alien if you can near by, I demand more lovings with me. How you gonna deflower me and not call me afterwards? I thought you were different then these asshole humans on earth? This is your lova! Return to me at once I say!”





“This is totally gonna get his attention now. “Let me love you.” This will please him and then he will please me. Oh this will be glorious!”

Love For The Ladies: Chapter 39, Average Days

I needed a break from all the madness going on in the house.  My hot tub is my sanctuary. The bubbles on my balls kinda feel nice on my balls.. maybe too nice. Lois has been busy with kids so much that my magic stick hasn’t been getting any attention. This hot tub feels nice and no one is around. Maybe I’ll give it some attention since I’m alone in my hot tub. I haven’t done something like this in here but there’s always a first time for anything.





After my hot tub jerk, I took a moment to enjoy the view of the ocean. It’s pretty nice having a crib over the cliff by the ocean. I just wish I could spend more time with Lois by it. I miss our time when we watched the sun faded into the ocean during the evenings. But it’s all about the kids now. We can still working on our issues but she seems to forget about me cheating on. After putting the kids to bed, all I get is a kiss on a cheek and she heads to bed. I never get to spend any time with her. I thought about sending Lani a text since I haven’t heard from her but maybe that’s not a good idea at the moment.

Things were fine when it was just Junior. With 3, 2 year olds who are barely a year apart in age, it’s hard to get any alone time. It gets so lonely now. I’m starting to miss my old life now. I got to hit on ladies every night at the club and if i was lucky, I got to take one home. I thought having a lady at home would be awesome. Not so much when you got a bunch of brats. I don’t get to see her much…



“Morde, I think we should hang out in the hot tub. I think it would be fun.”

“Nah L2.. We shouldn’t do that.”

“Why not? I think it was be a lot of fun. I haven’t been in it since it’s been here. Dad is always in it.”

“That’s the reason.”

“Dad? Huh?”

“Do you know what dad does in there?”


“Yeah, after rubbing one off.”


“Yeah… that’s why the hot tub is extra foamy. Rest in peace possible little brothers and sisters.”




“I will not rest until my precious gift is given to a Ziharian! I demand to be abducted right now! I feel that I am woman enough to handle  it!  So bring your sexy green asses down here and abduct me!”




“L2, what the hell is your twin ranting about this time? Did dad dropped her on head when she was a baby or she’s got some crazy from your mom? Maybe she found dad’s pot. I hope she did cause I wanna take a hit.”





“Lilah is just Lilah. She’s always been that way. As for my mom, I don’t know much of her. I have vague memory about my mom. I wonder what ever happen to her. “




“The Brain llama promise me a Ziharian male and I want one now! Do you hear me?! COME GET ME! MY BODY IS READY!”





“Daddy, I’m trying out for track at school and I was wondering if you could train me. I notice how you work out a lot.”

“Yeah, trying to pop this bubble. Nothing seems to work but I can help you train, Baby cake.”

“Really? Cool, I’ll go change.”





“If you wanna run like a African then you need to speed this thing up!”

“Daddy! I’m just a beginner! I gotta pace myself, right?”

“Who has time for that? You gotta run like a African!”




“I know you can do it! Run with mighty African speed!”

“I’m trying daddy! You’re kinda pushing me too hard!”

“Nonsense! I’m trying to make you the best you can be!”

“Daddy I think I’m gonna trip!”




“Stop your trippin’ and get up!”

“Daddy! You’re starting to scare me! I think I’m gonna quit for now.”

“Africans never quit! Run PC! Run like the police is chasing you!”

“Why would the police be chasing me?!”

“They don’t like black people!”

“Aren’t I still multiracial like you?”

“The police don’t care if you have 1 drop a of white in you! Run Babycake! Run!”




“Lotus, whatcha think about having alien nieces and nephews one day. I wanna have a bunch of alien babies.”


“It would be pretty cool you know. Green skin with pink like our brothers and sister who went away for a while. Maybe one will be a genie-alien like our brother Aries.”

“I be alien!”

“No silly! You’re just a genie like me. I think being a alien would be cool.”

“I’mma alien!”

“If you’re a alien, then I’m a alien too.”

“We aliens!”

“Yep, I agree with you there. Were aliens! Now I hope our people will come and abduct us.”




“You losers ready to get your asses handed to you?”

“Whatevs, BL. You know you suck at this game, let alone any game.”

“Whatever nerd. You’re only good cause all you do is play video games.”

“Here comes the Morde-train, gonna beat you ladies at this.”

“What the hell is with this Morde-train crap?”

“Ladies like it.”




“What ladies?”

“Your mom. Your mom loves the Morde-train.”

“Oh you got jokes about my mom now? Take this!”

“BL, you hit my guy. That’s not fair.”

“Ha ha ha, you aim sucks, BL.”

“You just wait until I find you again, Morde.”




“Gotcha! Taken that virgin!”

“You’re using cheats, Morde! And who you calling a virgin? You’re one too!”

“Um.. no I’m not.”

“Since were on the subject, I’m not one either.”

“Huh? What do you mean you’re not a virgin, L2?”

“Yeah, you’re a nerd. How did you get laid?”

“I have a girlfriend unlike you losers.”




“And you too Morde? I’m the oldest and I haven’t been with anyone yet..”

“That’s cause you suck, BL.”

“I do not.. I’m gonna lose mine soon!”

“Yeah right! You just mad cause we both beat you. Can’t believe the nerd became a man.”

“Don’t rush it, BL. You should give it to a girl who is special to you. I did and it was wonderful.”

“So gay, L2. I got freaky with a older lady. Why you stop playing?”

“I’m gonna check on Ash.”

“You’re so pussywhipped.”

“Maybe but at least I’m not a virgin like you.”

“Ohhhh BURN!”

“I hate you both…”




If I wasn’t going to get attention from my lady, I knew one little lady who would daddy some attention. Not sure what’s going on with her hair this morning. Lois has been really busy and left my cupcake nappy headed. It’s just me and her now. My daughters are always on their dumb smartphone texting whoever. My sons are having a pissing contest about losing their virginity  I am disappointed on how my oldest haven’t got laid but his younger brothers had.




“You need some TCB. Why your mama do you like this?”


“Yeah, you’re nappy. If I knew how to braid hair, I would have you fixed up.”

“I braid your hair, daddy!”

“No cupcake, you’re not touching daddy’s hair.”

“Pwease daddy!”

“No cupcake, I love you but I love my sexy hair more.”

“Bubble butt!”

“How now… no need to get rude.”

Love For The Ladies: Chapter 38, V Card

Note: I do not condone the actions that you’re about to read but this mess happens in life.

Deal with it :p




L2 wanted to talk to me about something. I hope this was the talk that he wanted advice on how to fuck a girl with awesomeness. If he wants to make me proud then he better be ready to spread some magic around even it’s he’s not a genie. He still has my good looks that he’s wasting on that hag who has been staying here for the past couple of months.

He seemed a bit nervous as we sat down to talk about whatever he wanted to talk about. This boy needs to man up before he tries to get with any ladies. Ladies need a strong sexy man, not no shy, wimpy boy. I’ve been waiting on the day I can share my manly advice about spreading the magic with the ladies. L2 is probably is going to disappoint me but there’s still hope, right?





“Dad, I want to talk to you about something.”

“Finally. I knew you would make me proud some day.”

“Oh? So you know?”

“You need my sexy advice on how to please ladies, right? Start by putting it in her mouth. That’s always a good starter but think about dead puppies mid way through. You don’t wanna fill her mouth with your man cream too quick. Ladies do not like first comers.”


“What? I’m giving you advice, you need to be taking notes on this. This is a very important thing in your life. You need to know how to fuck correctly or you’re doomed for life.”

“How is that more important than college?”

“It’s hella important when you’re in college. There will be so much fine ass at college. If you suck in bed then college is a waste of time.”

“Sex wouldn’t be my reason to attend college.”

“Then why go?”

“To get a degree.”

“That sounds boring. You disappoint me.”




“Dad.. I do want to talk about college at some point but there’s something that I need you to know. It’s about Ashley.”

“Oh.. You can start by drinking a lot of Brandy and turning off the lights when you’re ready to fuck her. I guess it’s okay if a hag is your first. You need a starter hag before getting with the sexy ones.”

“Dad! Ash is not a hag! Why do you keep saying that about her? Anyway I wanted to tell you that her and I are dating now.”

“You could do better, trust me.”

“Ash is perfect for me. Why can’t you see that?”

“She’s a hag. If you’re gonna date a girl, she gotta be a 7 at least.”




“But dad I think Ash is beautiful. I don’t care about numbers like you do.”

“Well your mom was a 5 like Ash but I only fucked her cause I was drunk off my ass. If I was sober, you wouldn’t be here to disappoint me.”

“I’m a disappointment?”

“Pretty much, you’re dating a hag. Are you at least hitting that?”

“Umm no.. Were both virgins.”

“Why do you keep disappointing me?”

“But I’m not.. I’m not trying to..”




“If you want to make me proud, then swipe your V card with her.”


“That’s the only way, kid. I was hoping you would be a ladies man until you found the right lady.”

“You want me to be like you, but you’re not being such of a ladies man. You’re in love with Lois. That’s one lady.”

“Yeah but I sample around before I got a lady. Lois is my first girlfriend. I didn’t date around, I was busy with gaining skills for bartending and DJing.”




“But dad, you were a virgin until you were 21. Why should I give up mines now when I’m only 15?”

“I only stayed that way long cause Riverview had nothing but ugly hags. I was saving my magic for the sexy ladies in Starlight Shores. In the meanwhile, I went to school for bartending and was learning how to DJ until I got here. I didn’t move here until I was 21.”

“So if I give up my virginity, you’ll be proud of me?”


“But why?”

” I don’t want you to make the mistakes I did but holding out until I was 21. I could of been a more skilled lover but I think I do pretty well at it now.”

“I think holding out that long was a right choice but maybe you should of married the lady you gave it up to.”

“BL’s mom? Nah.. she was already married and annoying.”

“You slept with a married woman?!”

“Yeah? She wanted this genie dick and I gave it to her.”





Mordecai is a interesting kid of mine. One night the police dropped him off after finding them trying to peek through the window of the strippers’ dressing room. So far he seems to be the only son who’s interesting in sampling different ladies like me. That’s cool and all but my focus is on L2. I know in my heart he would be a great ladies man like me. Mordecai maybe, but it’s in L2’s blood and he knows it. If I could slap some sense into him, he’ll drop that hag in a heartbeat.




Meanwhile 100 miles away from Starlight Shores….

“The place looks great, Landy. I’m glad to be on this side of the country once again. Moonlight Falls was a very interesting place but it was time for me to go. I wish you would of stayed in Starlight Shores.”

“I’m glad you like my new place, Lindy. I missed you. I wonder where you been this whole time. The last I knew, you had twins with some pink hair DJ and was planning a wedding. What happen?”

“I was taken by aliens, but they left me on Lunar Lakes. A alien who lived with Borage found me but left me in Moonlight Falls. I worked so many odd jobs until I was able to get a ticket for home but I was told you moved to Sunset City. I came here instead.”

“Why here? Your twins are still living with their dad back in Starlight Shores.”




“Me? Go back to there looking like this? Borage wouldn’t want to marry me. I may of lost some weight but I don’t feel like I’m beautiful enough for him. I’m old now. Borage wouldn’t love me at this age. I miss my kids but they probably won’t remember me…”





“Lindy, that’s crazy. You look stunning and youthful. You haven’t aged at all and here I am looking old with crows feet. I’m curious about why you haven’t age, when you’re the older sister. What happen in Moonlight Falls?”





“Nothing really. I think it had to do something with the aliens. They did some strange shit with me. Maybe they stopped my aging.”

“I say they did a little more than stopping your aging. You do look different in appearance.”

“I do? Then I can’t return to Borage. I’m probably ugly for him.. Maybe if I lose more weight.”

“Lindy, I didn’t mean that in a bad way. You’re beautiful, Lindy. Borage would probably would kill to have a moment with you.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. You should try to go see him and your kids soon.”

“I will.. Soon.”



Back in Starlight Shores..

Bruce Lee and his mom hanging a lot  now. She tries to keep her distance from me and at this point it’s a good thing. Lois still doesn’t want her at the house but couldn’t say much since she’s BL’s mom. For the most part, she’s here for him and not me. I’m slowly gaining Lois’ trust again but I still can’t help but think about that night with BL’s mom whenever I see her.  I don’t know why I keep thinking about it but I wish it would just stop.





“I think it’s good you’re around more now, mom but why now?”

“I missed you. I feel bad for missing most of your young life. I was a fool to walk out on you.”

“But why?”

“I was in love with your dad after moving in. Mitch kicked me out once I told him you weren’t his.  I knew Borage was the father cause of the timing. Mitch would barely touch me. He was more concern about making money than wanting a baby. I made a drunken mistake on the night I met your dad. But I wanted a baby so badly. I didn’t like how your dad spoke to me but I wanted a baby. After a few drinks, your dad lack of charm didn’t bother me. Your dad wasn’t interest in being with me and hooked up with my best friend Lindy. I was angry and left. I wanted to come back for you but Mitch said if I wanted this marriage to work out… I couldn’t bring you home.”

“So this Mitch guy was more important than me?”

“I fought for you, BL. But I was a idiot on taking sides with Mitch. He left me anyway. He couldn’t get over when I had you.”





“This whole time I thought that you didn’t want me. Dad never had a answer of why you left so that’s what I thought.”

“That’s not true. I love you, you’re my only child.”

“Okay but are you really back here to make up for lost time or just to hook up with my dad.”

“I will admit that I still have feelings for your dad. Your dad was a wonderful love and that body of his-“

“Mom.. gross. I don’t wanna know-“

“I’m sorry BL. I’m only here for you. Your dad and I agree they we shouldn’t be around each other. I’m dumbfound about him settling down with one female. I also wanted to talk to your dad about something but it’s gonna be hard to do that now.”

“Like what?”

“Am I aging slow cause I had a genie baby?”

“I dunno about that. Aren’t you like 70?”

“Lady will never their true age.”

“I know that Mitch guy is old wrinkly man… So-“

“Were not talking about mommy’s age right now BL.”




“Ash, I wanted to talk you about something.”

“Like what?”


“Oh… well you know I’m a virgin..”

“Yeah me too.. But have you been curious about it?”

“A little bit.. How about you?”

“Me too a little.”




“I know all the kids at school are doing it.”

“Yeah.. I wonder if what they say it’s true. I know my dad likes to all the time. Look how many brothers and sisters I have.”

“If your dad worn protection more then he wouldn’t have so many.”

“True.. Bu Ash.. have you ever thought about having sex with me?”

“Kinda.. What about you?”




“Yeah.. not until recently..”

“So what are you trying to say? What’s on your mind?”

“I was wondering if you were ready?”

“Maybe.. But I kinda wanted to wait.”


“You sound disappointed.”

“No.. not really.”

“We can do it if you really want to.”

“No Ash, I don’t want to pressure you.”

“I’m ready if you’re ready.”





“Let’s just cuddle, Ash. Maybe we can talk about this some other time.”

“We could.. But since we are on the topic. I think I’m ready. I would like for you to be my first.”




“Are you sure about this Ash?”

“I’m positive on this. There’s no one else I rather share my first with.”





“I feel the same way too. I’ll only do this if you are truly ready for this cause there’s no going back.”

“I am sure about this L2. I’ve waiting for you to bring this topic up. I’m kinda shy.”




“I will try to be as gentle as I can be. Just let me know if I’m hurting you or anything. I will stop. Just let me know.”

“I will.. I’m just glad that I’m doing this with you.”

“I feel the same way too, Ash. I love you.”

“I love you too, L2.”





“I heard you made my dad into a man so I was wondering if you’ll do that same for me.”

“You gotta be kidding.”

“No.. I think you should be my first. You’re sexy lady.. My dad has good taste. Plus I think your boobies are nice.”

“You do know I’ve slept with your dad and BL is your brother.”

“It doesn’t bother me at all. So what do you say?”




“I’m thinking.. NO! You’re just a kid!”

“But you can change that and turn me into a man and ride the Morde-train.”

“I’m not turning you into a man nor want to ride the “Morde-train”.”




“Ahhh why you gotta be that way, lady. You want you the be the first to try out the Morde-train. Let the Morde-train take a trip to your G-spot.”

“Ugh! Get away from me kid! I’m not doing anything with you!”

“Why not? Am I not sexy enough for ya?  You got a lovely caboose for the train.”

“I can’t tell who was worst, you or your dad!”




“I just wanted to motorboat those tatas of yours. Morde gets no love?”

“No, Morde doesn’t get any love from me. Try someone your own age.”

“I want a woman, not a girl. I can be man enough for you my lovely lotus flower.”

“That line ain’t gonna work, kid.”

“I wish my aunt-cousin Tequila was here. She has roofies.”






“Did you know Morde is hitting on your mom?”

“Yeah but he’s a idiot if he thinks she would go from him.”

“I dunno but I’m kicking your butt!”

“No fair! You’re using cheats! Dad was right! You cheat.”

“Nope! You both just suck at this game!”




“Say, Bora.. You’re alien.. Can you use your jedi mind trick on BL’s mom? She’s fine and I want her to ride the Morde-train.”

“I guess I could.. Luna is better at that than me. But I guess it would be fun to test out my powers for once.”

“Awesome, I knew I could count on you, sis.”

“It’s cause you’re my favorite, Morde.”




“Not if this is going to work but doesn’t hurt to try…”





“I wonder if Bora’s trick worked. Sonoko seems to be following me.”

“Hey Morde..”

“Hey Sono-“




“I was a fool to deny you my Morde love. I must have you in me! Give me your body!”





“Really? You’ll be the first passenger on the Morde-train?”





“Oh shut up and kiss me my love!”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”





“That was awesome.. Thanks for turning me into a man.”

“I will do anything for you my sweet love but we must keep our love a secret.”

“Yeah.. I guess.”





I notice since I gave birth to those 7 green demons, my ass was starting to look bubblelicious. That’s okay on a lady but not okay on a man.  I started a daily routine on getting my ass in the right shape. I can’t be walking around here with bubble butt. Not sure if Lois was into it but I needed to work on this hot body of mine.




“I…got….to…get..rid….of…this…bubble…butt… Gotta…stay….sexy!”





“Dada got bubble butt.”

“I know that Junior! But daddy is gonna pop this bubble.”

“Bubble butt!”

“Don’t remind daddy of his bubble butt, Junior!”