Sims be Cray Cray: Ep 1.

Disclaimer: I am Black. OMG! Calm down. I will not try to steal your car. “Try”.  My sense of humor is very colorful and can be borderline offensive but still funny. I’m pushing it a tab bit but still holding a lot back. There are some some things on here that some may find offensive that could be borderline racist. But if you’re sensitive about racial jokes, hit that X. I don’t wanna hear your bitchin’. You had be warned. If you don’t care, carry on! Keep it juicy!

 

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Alternate Montigo: Matius & Cira

What if Cira would of said yes to Matius when they first met? Cira originally met Matius before meeting Malix. Cira felt Matius was too boring and went for his brother Malix when they were teenagers.

 

 

Apparently these dishes needed to be wash when he’s naked. Matius is a nudist LOL

Camp Nudist

When I decided to play my Camp Tigo file last night, they decided that it would be fun to randomly be naked.. All of them. It’s been this way since I gave them a hot tub and Matius made the crazy mood drink that night too. I mainly played Bender that night and then I looked up and everyone was naked.. Then Bender got naked LOL.

 

Camp Tigo:Ep 3, Love On. Dance Off.

Maria escaped Camp Tigo and taking Lei and Van with her. Oh well.. They have been replaced with Bender Belue from And that’s terrible!,  Adairna Jonso from The Party People: Legacy of Nakaiya Jonso and Malix Montigo Jr. from here of course!

 

Vods: It wasn’t cool of you to let me die back in my universe!

Malix: What are you talking about? I was never in your universe!

Vods: Yes you were! You knocked me and Panda up and then I died.

Malix: Sounds like me.. Making babies and dying so I don’t have be responsible! I’m a total deadbeat father!

Vods: Well I’m a deadbeat mother thanks to you!

Malix: Sucks for you.

Vods: Ass!

 

 

Bender: HEY! I was promised rum and strippers if I came here! All I see is a zombie dresses as a bee keeper! I want rum covered strippers!

Adairna: I came here to pick up my son from this crazy place and he ran off with a girl and a vampire?

Malix Jr.: I’m hungry… Can I eat you?

Adairna: What?! No!

Malix Jr.: Well can I steal your panties?

Adairna: NO! Go away freak!

Malix Jr.: I’m a vampire kleptomania.. I can’t help it… But I will steal them!

 

 

Zombie: Malix! Get me preggers! I want your baby!

Malix: WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO HAVE MY BABY?!

Zombie: Because my child will be beautiful! Besides you’re just gonna die afterwards!

Malix: I’m not fucking a zombie!

Zombie: Please?

Malix: Stay away from my dick!

Zombie: Please please please! Don’t make me beg!

Malix: Go be dead somewhere else now!

 

 

Vods: Hey Miro.. you haven’t had let me die, would you?

Ramiro: No way, boo.. I wouldn’t let a hot alien like you die.

Vods: Then you would picked me?

Ramiro: Sure..

Vods: Really? Then you’re my vampire lover! We are bonded so stay away from Panda.

Ramiro: Okay.. a little possessive but okay.

 

 

Malix: Wait a fuckin’ min.. Why do you look like me as a vampire with my old hair in blue clothes? Are you a clone?!

Malix Jr.: No I’m not a clone! I’m your son!

Malix: No you’re not! My son has pink hair!

Malix Jr.: I am too your son! You died before you knew anything of me or my twin sister.

Malix: Look clone, I don’t remember you escaping from my nut sack.

Malix Jr.: For the last time! I AM NOT YOUR CLONE! I’M YOUR SON!

Malix: How? I only knocked up my wife 3 times..

Malix Jr.: Trust me! I am your child!

Malix: Whatever clone!

Malix Jr.: I wish a yeti would eat you right now… Yetis are awesome.

 

 

Malix: Yetis are not awesome! Everyone knows that dragons are much better than yetis! You can’t possible be my child!

Malix Jr.: Whatever dad! Yetis are much better than gay dragons!

Malix: Yetis are gay cause all of them are men!

Malix Jr.: There’s girl yetis!

Malix: Who cares! This fight is getting ridiculous!

 

 

Bender: Hey asian guy. Where are the rum and strippers that I was promise?

Matius: First of all my name is Matius, not asian guy. Second of all we have rum. Third of all, they lied about the strippers.

Bender: WHAT?! NO STRIPPERS?!

Matius: I wish but no.

Bender: I’m getting the fuck out of here!

Matius: Good luck.

 

 

Bender: You look like you could possibly be a stripper.

Zinnia: Actually I use to be one until I had a bunch of random kids.

Bender: Really? Why aren’t you stripping then?

Zinnia: I dunno.. No pole?

Bender: I have a pole. *wink*

Zinnia: OMG you gross old man!

Bender: I was sexy back in my day!

Zinnia: That doesn’t matter now!

 

 

Malix Jr: Hey Panda.

Panda: Whizzer! Who are you? How do you know me? You look like Malix as a vampire!

Malix Jr.: You know me! I’m from your universe I guess. My appearance explains why there is 2 Malixes running around in the sim forums.. I’m his son.

Panda: That’s bizzaro! I guess this explains why he didn’t know who we were. I thought you were his clone.

Malix Jr.: I AM NOT A CLONE!

Panda: WAIT! If you’re here.. and dad is here… THEN WHO’S WATCHING THE KIDS?

Malix Jr.: Your mom.

Panda: Is that suppose to be a joke?

Malix Jr.: No really.. I left those babies with your drunk mom.

Cira: Am I hearing this right? You’re Malix’s son? I don’t remember having you.

Malix Jr.: Because……

Cira: That cheating bastard!

 

 

Cira: WHO IS SHE?!

Malix: What?

Cira: THE BITCH THAT YOU KNOCKED UP!

Malix: Huh?

Cira: EXPLAIN THE LOOK ALIKE KID OF YOURS OVER THERE!

Malix: A clone.

Malix Jr.: I AM NOT A CLONE!

Cira: HOW DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER CHILD?!

Malix: I dunno… It’s not explained in our story yet. Maybe I cheated? Maybe he was born before we got married? How the fuck should I know?! Yell at the writer!

Cira: If I find out that you cheated on me then I’ll cut your dick off cause apparently you use it too much!

Malix: I need that!

Malix Jr: I wanna hold your hands by this plate of rotten salad and a zombie.

Panda: You’re so romantic!

Malix Jr.: So wanna do it?

Panda: You do know Vods is in this story right?

Malix Jr.: Shit. She isn’t going to go randomly die some where is she?

Panda: I hope not!

 

 

Malix: Is this awkward.

Panda: How?

Malix: There can only be one.

Malix Jr: If you’re trying to say I’m a clone, I will punch you.

Panda: I think it’s cool we have 2 Malixes now.

Malix: THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!

Malix Jr: I’M YOUR SON!

Malix: I don’t like this one bit, Clone. With you here..the girls will ignore me.

Malix Jr: Of course dad.. YOU’RE MARRIED!

Malix: I hate this clone….

Malix Jr: I am your SON! Not a clone!

Panda: Whizzer!

Malix: Must you always say that?

Panda: It’s kinda my trademark ya know.

Malix: I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

Malix Jr: Don’t worry.. You won’t.

 

 

Malix Jr: Anyways! Time to make out with my girl!

Malix: I hate this clone! He’s gonna ruin my 4 way!

 

 

Malix: Are you still the token angry black woman?

Cira: No.

Malix: Then let’s make out!

 

 

Liam: It’s that time of the night.. I know Rosette is going to try to rape me again… I can’t seem to get away from that psycho! She’ll ruin my plans to bang all the ladies here.

Rosette: Liam are you ready? Here I come!

Liam: Shit.

 

 

Vods: So you’re our Malix?

Malix Jr: Yep.

Vods: You asshole! You let me die!

Malix Jr.: Sorry? You still got to fuck me, right?

Vods: I should be mad at you but some how I’m not.

Malix Jr: It’s cause of my dick.

Liam: I wanna bone that green chick..

 

 

Rosette: HEY LIAM! Give me lovings!

Liam: No… just go away.

Rosette: NEVER! You’re my boyfriend! I want lovings!

Liam: I’m not your boyfriend!

Rosette: Then you’re my husband?

Liam: Hell no!

Rosette: I don’t care what you say! YOU’RE MINES! Drop your pants!

Liam: No means no!

Rosette: No means I want it now!

Liam: I’m on mission. I must give my loving to all of the ladies.

Rosette: Liam, let’s not turn this love making into a murder.

 

 

Panda: What the whizzer! I thought you were mines cause Vods died!

Malix Jr: She’s not dead here. I told you girls to share me.

Vods: Go away, Panda.. Malix wants me now.

Rosette: I said give me your dick!

Liam: I said no!

 

 

Malix Jr: Place this juicy green lips on mines so I can flirt with another lady.

Vods: Wait… what?

Rosette: Either give me some dick or I’ll rip it off!

Liam: You’re freaking me out Rose!

 

 

Liam: So you’re Adairna right?

Adairna: Yes.

Liam: Wanna know what makes me so magical?

Adairna: Sure.

Liam: I can make you have multiple orgasms.

Adairna: OMG! Was that your best pick up line?

Liam: Yes. Did it work?

Adairna: NO! That would never work!

Liam: Drink this drink then?

 

 

Panda: Holy whizzer… There’s some bizarro hooks up going on suddenly. Why am I thinking about Matius now?

Malix: Mmm.. Dat ass!

Liam: Wow.. Malix’s roofie drink worked!

 

 

Malix: I couldn’t help but notice how juicy your ass is.

Panda: Ooh Malix. *blushes*

Malix: I want it.

Cira: MALIX!

Malix: Not now Cira. We are having that 4 way rather you like it or not!

Malix Jr: Dad! That’s my girl!

Malix: Shut up clone! I saw you with Vods. I get her.

Vods: Trash.

Rosette: I’m so sexy!

Bender: Who drank all the rum?

 

 

Malix: I’m gonna kiss you now.

Panda: Okay.

Malix Jr: This shit is fucked. She’s mines, Dad!

Vods: Why do I have a feeling that this will turn into a orgy?

Malix Jr.: I hope that’s true.

 

 

Ramiro: Hey Cira, I just wanna touch your body.

Cira: Since Malix already kissed that tramp, go ahead.

Malix: If your wife is cheating on you with your cousin and you know it, clap your hands!

Matius: This is so wrong on many levels. How haven’t I hooked up with anyone yet?

 

 

Matius: Hey obviously still drunk girl. Ever had asian persuasion?

Adairna: No.

Matius: You want it?

Adairna: Well I am still drunk. Sure.

 

 

Matius: Your son wouldn’t hook up with my sister. I’m gonna hook up with you.

Adairna: Uuhjkhk dfhfhkd

Matius: I take that as you’re  okay with this.

 

 

Liam: Since you’re not crazy like your sister. Wanna do it?

Zinnia: Let me finish my drink.. but where? Cause Matty and Adairna are about to fuck in the photo booth.

Liam: We can wait.

 

 

Ramiro: Let’s get nasty in that haystack that randomly appeared. The photo booth is being used.

Cira: Not my idea of romance. I just wanna get back at Malix. I know he cheated in our story and he’s cheating in this one.

 

 

Zinnia: OH YES OH YES YESSSSSS GIVE IT TO ME LIAM!

Liam: Shhh! Rosette might hear us!

Rosette: Liam better not be fucking my sister…

 

 

Ramiro: Mmm, you like it Cira?

Cira: I have hay in my ass.

Ramiro: Just ignore it. Tell me how does my dick feel?

Cira: No wonder you only hooked up with a heshe!

Ramiro: Shut up about Khai before she shows up! We have one psycho here. Rosette. We don’t need another one!

 

 

Malix: You, me, haystack. Now.

Vods: I’m confused..

Malix: No time to explain! Get in the haystack!

Matius: I’m gonna punch this invisible person!

 

 

Matius: What do you mean you won’t hook up with me?

Cira: Because I said so.

Matius: We hooked before.. Why not now?

Cira: Shut Matty! The readers didn’t know about that yet!

Vods: Don’t mind me guys.. Just checking out this haystack.

 

 

Bender: This is some bullshit. No strippers. No more rum or vodka-

Vods: Yes dad?

Bender: Shut up Vods! No one was talking to you! I’m talking to myself!

Vods: Okay.

Bender: Anyways.. I’m just gonna stand here with my crane and bitch about everything cause I’m a old man and that’s what us old people do. Complain.

 

 

Malix Jr: I saw what you did with Vods. She’s mines!

Malix: Oh fuck you vampire clone! I’m getting my 4 way.

Malix Jr: Don’t care. Vods is one of mines! So back off dad! We gave you grand babies that you’ll never meet.

Malix: I’m too sexy to be a grandpa. Anyways.. I challenge you to a dance off. Winner keeps the girls.

Malix Jr: Challenge accepted. Girls vs Guys.

Malix: The point was me vs you but whatever!

 

 

So, guys ready to dance?

All: NO!

Too bad!

Bender: I’m too sober for this!

Vods: Where is that voice coming from?

(If there’s kids around, you may want to either wear headphones or mute the video. Vulgar lyrics in the video. I used a sample of my DJing for the music track for the video :D)

 

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Bonus Pic: Malix booty! LOL

Ahh, checking out my humps now? I got something else you can check out..

MALIX!

My dick. HEHEHEHEHEHE!

Camp Tigo: Ep 2, A quest for immortality party people and that’s terrible!

Welcome guest to Camp Tigo! I’m changing the name to this story because I can. Since I had so much fun playing with you all. I want your guys to stay in the camp of doom for our entertainment.

Vodka: Who’s entertainment?

Your creators and I.

Liam: So am I making any babies at the camp? *smirk*

No Liam, and I’m keeping a eye on you!

Vandeen: I wanna go home…

Pandora: I don’t wanna go home! We’re gonna have a whizzer time!

Yes you will have a juicetastic time here at Camp Tigo!

 

 

Lei: Oh cool another teenager!

Vandeen: Hi my name is Vandeen but you call me Van.

Lei: Hi Van! You didn’t give yourself a silly nickname like Van the Man did you? *laughs*

Van: Uh… maybe.

Lei: *laughs* Anyways welcome to apparently Camp Tigo now.

Van: Thanks for the welcome, Lei. Let’s be friends.

Lei: Okay!

**Malix suddenly sneaks up from behind Van**

Malix: RAWR!

Van: Aaaahhh!

Malix: Man up little dude if you’re gonna get with my little sis.

Van: Excuse me?

Malix: Don’t play dumb. I saw you checking her out.

Van: She’s pretty but she’s my friend now..

Malix: Right. I’m Malix by the way.

Van: Hi Malix, I’m Van.. nice to meet you?

Malix: Van the Man!

Van: The one and only *smiles*

**Moments later Malix is ambushed by the Belue sisters**

Pandora & Vodka: ♥ ♥ ♥ Malix♥ ♥ ♥

Malix: Uhhh…Hi?

Vodka: We didn’t know that you were going to be here too.

Pandora: This is totally whizzer!

Malix: Um.. who are you?

Pandora: Don’t be silly Malix! You know who we are!

Vodka: Yeah Malix, stop acting silly.

Malix: No seriously… who are you? How do you know me?

Pandora: It’s me Pandora and my sister Vodka. Remember silly?

Malix: So you’re Pandora!

Pandora & Vodka: ♥ ♥ ♥ Malix♥ ♥ ♥

**Belue sisters ambushes Malix with a awkward hugs**

Malix: Uhhh.. strange girl whom I never met in my life.. You should probably not be hugging me like this…

*The sisters pull off of Malix**

Pandora: What’s your deal Vods? Malix is mines! Get off him!

Vodka: He’s not yours, Panda! There could be a plot twist and he could pick me! Besides.. He drank from me first!

Pandora: You wish that would happen! The people want me with Malix so paws off!

Vodka: I saw him first! So you keep your paws off!

Malix: Um.. What the fuck are you 2 talking about?

Pandora: Who are you going to pick Malix? Me or Vods?

 

 

**Cira oversees the Belue girls fighting**

Cira: Harpo! Who be this woman?!

Malix: Harpo? Oh! The color purple reference.. I have no idea.

Vodka: Who are you?!

Cira: I’m Cira, Malix’s wife! I know you hussies ain’t fighting over my husband!

Pandora & Vodka: Wife?! You’re married?!!

Malix: Uh… yes. Who the fuck are you Pandora? ..Err and Vodka.

Vodka: We’re no one apparently..

 

 

Liam: I hate airline food. I’m gonna get this whole gallon of ice cream by myself.

Pandora: Hi! I’m Pandora but you can call me Panda.

Liam: Hi Panda, I’m Liam. You want a baby?

Pandora: What?

Liam: Nothing.

Pandora: Mind sharing your ice cream with me? I’m very hungry.

Liam: No.. I found this.

Pandora: Whizzer! You know sharing is caring!

Liam: I know but this ice cream is mines.

Pandora: Please share with me Liam. Pretty please.

Liam: Bitch, get your own ice cream!

Pandora: Holy whizzer! You’re rude!

 

 

Pandora: Are you sure that you don’t remember me?

Malix: I never met you.

Pandora: Sure you did! You don’t remember our first kiss on Sunday?

Malix: Woman.. I never kissed you. I’m married…

Pandora: I’m very confused.. I poured out my feelings to you.

Malix: Please don’t tell me that you’re another Rosette.

Pandora: Huh? Why waste your time. You know you’re gonna be mines.

Malix: You’re hot and all but the last red head I encounter is a evil bitch. You seem crazy..

 

 

Huh? Are you talking about me?!

 

 

Rosette: Liam! You came to see me!

Liam: No I didn’t.. I heard fine ladies would be here so now I’m here.

Rosette: I’m a fine lady!

Liam: You are sexy but you’re crazy.

Rosette: Crazy in love with you boo!

Liam: Right. I’ll be back..

Rosette: Wait! Don’t leave me! I love you!

Liam: Rose, let go of my leg! I have to go to the bathroom.

Rosette: Take me with you!

Liam: Uh no.. Let go!

Rosette: I LOVE YOU!

 

 

Why won’t he love me?! I will have him! I must have him! You hear that Liam! YOU WILL BE MINES OR I WILL KILL EVER BITCH IN THIS CAMP!

 

 

Rosette: Liam, love me!

Liam: You can’t demand love like that.

Rosette: Okay.. then fuck me!

Liam: I don’t want to..

Rosette: You came all this way not to have any sexy time?

Liam: Okay.. If I have sex with you in that photo booth that just appear, will you leave me alone for now on?

Rosette: Okay.

*Photo booth is rocking, they exit*

*A photo comes out. Liam looks at it. It’s a photo of them doing it with the caption “Liam & Rosette Forever, This is proof bitches!“*

Liam: What have I done….

 

 

Pandora: Hi again Liam!

Liam: Hi Panda, how are you doing?

Pandora: I’m having a whizzer time. What about you?

Liam: Just grand. Wanna know why they call me “Magic”?

Pandora: Sure!

Liam: Cause I cam make your panties disappear. *smug smirk*

Pandora: Oh.. Well I’m not sleeping with you. You wouldn’t even share your ice cream with me!

Liam: I’m sorry! I got you these red flowers. Sleep with me?

Pandora: Wally Whizzer! I love red flowers!

**Moving on**

Liam: Hi green lady.

Vodka: Hi jerk.

Liam: *laughs* Excuse me I’m sorry. My name is Liam.

Vodka: I’m Vodka.

Liam: Really?

Vodka: Yes just call me Vods.

Liam: Do you taste like vodka?

Vodka: What?! No! That’s a stupid a question!

Liam: I’m curious.. If I were to lick you and you tasted like vodka then I would be so wasted. I would lick you all night.

Vodka: OMG!

Liam: You like?

Vodka: NO!

Liam: Oh my bad…

Zinnia: You must have a thing for sisters.. I saw you with Panda.

Liam: Shut up Zin.

 

Pandora & Vodka: ♥ ♥ ♥ Malix♥ ♥ ♥

Malix: Watching me shower, ladies? Totally not creepy..

Vodka: You have a beautiful body Malix..

Pandora: Even you’re not a vampire this time. I find you very sexy.

Malix: Uh.. thanks. Remember my wife?

Pandora & Vodka: Yes.

Cira: I know you floozies aren’t hitting on my husband again..

Pandora: Whizzer! We were totally not hitting on your husband! We were talking about –

Vodka: Liam! We were talking about Liam!

Malix: Relax Cira.. I kinda like this attention. There’s enough of Malix to go around. We can be swingers.

Cira: We are not going to be swingers!

Malix: So no 4 way then?

Cira: What?!

Malix: I would like  3 ladies to have their way with me.

Cira: I oughta punch you in the face Malix.

Malix: Hey.. a man can dream!

 

 

Lei: Look! Those stars form the shape of a penis.

Van: Yeah it does! Those stars formed boobies!

Lei: *laughs* Being perverted teens is fun!

 

 

 ** Day 1 has ended!**

 

 

Matius: Why are you green? Are you a berry?

Vodka: No. I’m a alien.

Matius: Alien? But it’s not November yet.

Vodka: I know but I was born a alien in sims 2 and now we switched to sims 3.

Matius: Oh.. so you’re not gonna probe me?

Vodka: Do you want to be probed?

Matius: Maybe.. you’re sexy after all.

 

 

Ramiro: I see that we have new people now.

Malix: Yep.

Ramiro: Then we must order more cyanide.

Malix: I guess but we can’t kill the Belue sisters.

Ramiro: Why not?

Malix: I find it hot how those girls fight over me and I never met them before. Don’t kill my wife. I’m gonna have a 4 way with them.

Ramiro: Fine only if I have my way with the girls too.

Malix: And my wife?

Ramiro: Her too.

Malix: Asshole.

Ramiro: Hey.. your wife is hot. I never been with a black woman.

Malix: It’s amazing but you can’t have her.

Ramiro: Then I’ll take Panda.

Malix: Can’t have her.

Ramiro: Vods?

Malix: No.

Ramiro: Asshole! You can’t have them all! I’m vampire and I need to have vampire sex!

Malix: Those girls all love me, so no.

Ramiro: I will have those girls and your wife.

Malix: I should of poisoned your juice!

Ramiro: I should of poisoned your cookies!

 

 

Malix: Hey Vods, meet me by the showers tonight.

Vodka: Really? Okay.

Pandora: HEY! What about me?!

Vodka: Fuck off Panda, Malix picked me.

Pandora: That’s not right!

 

 

Ramiro: Liam, I heard about you. You’re the womanizer.

Liam: Indeed I am.

Ramiro: Stay away from my sister Maria.

Liam: Ah, they pretty vamp girl?

Ramiro: Yes.

Matius: Stay away from mines too.

Liam: Lei? She’s way too young for me.

Matius: Good, I don’t have to worry about you touching her.

Liam: Oh I will be banging your sister when she ages and moves to Twinbrook.

Matius: What?!

Liam: You heard me.

 

 

Malix: Oh Cira, let’s make out right now.

Cira: Fine.

*Making out noises*

Vodka: Hey.. I thought he picked me.. That asshole!

 

 

Liam: Hi Van, may I speak with you.

Van: Sure.

Liam: Are you interest in Lei?

Van: Why do you care?

Liam: If you are, back off.

Van: Excuse me? You’re old, why should I?

Liam: Because I will be the one to deflower Lei. So back off.

Van: You’re old, dude. That sounds creepy.

Liam: I’m waiting until she turns 21. I’m not a pedo bear.

Van: Still sounds creepy…

Liam: You will back off will you?

Van: I got a strong feeling that I’m going to hate you in the next story.

Liam: The feeling is mutual..

 

 

Liam: Hey pretty lady. I’m sorry about the other day.

Vodka: It’s cool I guess..

Liam: I know I’m no vampire like the Malix you know but I can assure that I’m just as great in bed as him.

Vodka: Is that so?

Liam: It is so. Want to find out?

*Rosette pins Vodka down on the ground*

Rosette: HEY! Get your green greasy hands off of my boyfriend!

Vodka: HEY! GET OFF ME! I DIDN’T KNOW HE’S YOUR BOYFRIEND!!

Rosette: NO! NOT UNTIL YOU PROMISE TO STAY AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND!

Vodka: FINE! JUST GET OFF ME!

Zinnia: *laughs* Damn Rose!

Liam: ..I’m not your boyfriend.

Rosette: Shut up Liam! I’m dealing with this green hussy!

Vodka: GET OFF!

*Rosette gets off*

Liam: Look Rosette…

Rosette: You stop trying to flirt with these hoochies!

Liam: Rose you need to back off! I’m not your boyfriend! I can flirt with who ever!

Rosette: NOT WHEN I’M HERE! YOU BELONG TO ME!

 

 

Matius: Van, do you like my sister Lei?

Van: What’s with you guys?

Matius: Yes? No?

Van: I like her as friend.

Matius: You don’t think she’s hot enough?!

Van: Lei is hot but-

Matius: Then what’s your deal? Do you wanna bang her?

Van: WHAT?!

Matius: I know you want to and you have my permission.

Van: What the….

Matius: Are you gay?

Van: No! I’m not gay.. I just like her as a friend. I kinda like a girl back at home..

Matius: That Val girl? Forget her. Do my sister.

Van: But why?

Matius: I don’t want that Liam guy to be the first to touch her. I don’t like him.

Van:.. I’m not going to bang your sister for that reason.

Matius: Fine then go make a promise to protect her from zombies and shit.

Van: That I can do..

 

 

Van: Hey Lei.

Lei: What’s up?

Van: Nothing. I just want to make a promise to protect you from zombies.

Lei: Aww that’s so sweet.

Van: Your brother made me promise..

Lei: Oh..

Van: HEY! Don’t get me wrong.. I would totally protect you from zombies!

Lei: Thanks Van. You’re sweet! Any girl who has you is lucky!

 

 

Malix: So we meet.

Vodka: Finally. I saw you with Cira and I thought..

Malix: She’s my wife so I still have to do my husband duty.

Vodka: So why did you want to meet?

Malix: To tell you that you’re pretty.

Vodka: *blushes* Thanks Malix. I thought you were gonna pick Panda cause she’s human and I’m a dying alien.

Malix: I’m not sure why am I suppose to pick a lady but I’m loving this attention..

Vodka: So you’re not picking me? I thought you liked me…

Malix: Well I…

Vodka: C’mon Malix, leave Cira and come with me. We will have pretty babies together..

Malix: Um.. I have 4 kids already.. Didn’t you say you’re dying?

Vodka: Yes you’re gonna save me right?

Malix: Huh?

*Pandora spots them*

Pandora: VODS! What are you doing with Malix?!

 

 

Vodka: It’s pretty clear that he chose me!

Pandora: Malix? Is that true? Did our kiss mean nothing?

Malix: What the fuck are you talking about? Keep fighting over me.

Vodka: Just go away Panda! I’m busy with Malix!

Pandora: Vods! You dirty ho bag! Malix is MINES!

Vodka: How dare you call me that!

*Vodka attacks Pandora*

Pandora: LET GO! YOU’RE JUST GONNA DIE! ENJOY MALIX CAUSE HE’LL BE MINES WHEN YOU”RE DEAD!

Vodka: I’M NOT GONNA DIE! MALIX IS GONNA SAVE ME?! RIGHT MALIX?

Malix: Just keep fighting ladies..

Cira: WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU CHICKENHEADS ABOUT HITTING ON MY HUSBAND??!

Pandora & Vodka: CIRA!

 

 

Cira: I think you bitches better start running…..

Pandora & Vodka: Right!

 

 

Every camp as a camp fire. It’s time to unwind a little, right?

 

 

Pandora: Jeez whizzer! This is a lot of fun. Maybe I should get one of these at home.

Maria: Yeah I agree this is fun, Panda.

Rosette: Just warning you hussies stay away from my Liam…

Liam: Rose…

Rosette: Hush Liam!

Van: I wonder why my mom allow me to come to this crazy summer camp..

Cira: I’m glad to be out of that vampire house.

Pandora: Vampire house?

Cira: You don’t wanna know..

Rosette: You sluts see this? If I catch you with my boyfriend Liam, I’ll be replacing these marshmallows with your eye balls!

Liam: Violent much, Rose?

 

 

I’m the vampire here! Why won’t the girls obsess over me? I’m just as sexy as Malix! I’m starting to hate him. But’s it’s all good.. I’ll use my vampire powers and get them to love me!

 

 

Pandora: Golly whizzer! I burned my marshmallows!

Maria: Hahaha.. We kinda figure that Rosette would be the first to burn hers.

Pandora: This camp sucks!

******

I enjoyed use other people’s sims for this ep. It was a lot of fun doing this! I have 2 spots open for this camp. If you want your character in this camp story let me know. Since the girls are out numbering the guys, I want 2 males, one of them needs to be a teen since there’s only 2. I also want the sim to be active character cause it’s fun to joke about their story that they are from.

******

Pandora & Vodka Belue From Belue Legacy – And that’s terrible! by AnonymousMiss

Vandeen Jonso From The Party People; The Legacy of Nakaiya Jonso by yoursharona34

Liam Gelman From A quest for immortality by jbfairybird