Category: Party Montigo

Happy Birthday to the Montigo-Gelman kids!

Then

On August 15, 2012 I originally had 5 little babies born into the legacy. They appeared in Chapter 5 of Party Montigo. They are the only Montigos who I remember the actual day they were born since I released the chapter soon afterwards. However in the toddler pic you’ll notice a extra kid. At the time I was trying out toddler poses and forgot to move the extra kid out of the shot. That’s August, Borage and Celsia’s step brother.

 

 

Now

I knew they were going to be my favorite set of kids. However I didn’t spend a lot of time on them when they were kids. One of my biggest regrets. Yes, I do have a second childhood file but I haven’t played with it so much. Again, a extra sim in this pic. Mojito wasn’t originally born the first time around. When I played their old save, Rosette had a extra baby. I thought Mojito was too cute to just walk away from. I cleverly added him into the legacy last winter. He did grow up with his siblings but is trying to bond with them as much as possible.

 

 

 

I thought about doing a little special but decided not to since I want to work on a chapter. I have a few photos of them in IP. I thought about showing them all taking a trip to celebrate their joint birthdays but it may come later. I’m thinking of showing flashes of the event in their own stories when they reminisce for a moment.

 

 

 

 

It’s been too long since I last seen them all in one house. Things get a little crazy since they have most of a fun traits. Borage’s first move was to insult Amaretto but with her diva trait, she let him know that wasn’t cool lol

 

 

 

I see that they still carried on their personalities naturally. Martini always felt out and is the butt of every joke. Martini isn’t the brightest and was always a easy target to be picked on.

 

 

 

However Borage’s personality had taken a slight curve. Adding the inappropriate  to him seemed to alter his personality. I’m thinking of the changing it in the near future. It works well with Tequila but not so much for Borage. I gave it to him so he could immediately try to make out with a lady the moment he meets her. I portray him to straight forwarded who jumps the gun. However he tends to be more of asshole with insulting anyone in sight. I rarely seen Tequila do so but Borage does it often and it’s very annoying. I’m just deciding on which trait he’ll trade it with.

 

 

 

Mojito is very forgiving and doesn’t mind Borage’s asshole-ness but I’m tried of it.

 

 

I did a random quick pose challenge with them. It’s where to select ‘random quick poses’ with the pose player add on, on each sim. Then you try to make each posed sim work together. It was fun but irritating when a sim stop posing. I figure I had some dead poses that I need to remove. I know a had a lot of kid poses that no longer work.

 

Where are the Montigo-Gelman kids at now?

Borage – He’s currently living in Evansdale County but I’m vague about where he lives cause has been placed on different worlds recently. Finding a nice world with enough space that doesn’t lag is difficult.

Celsia – She’s currently living in Hidden Springs. I’m debating if she should move or not. I remake her town and now it lags. I may need to remove some sims or something. I’ll figure something out.

Martini – She made a return in Party Montigo and stayed in Sunlit Tides. But PM is having a time jump. I’m unsure what to do with her. I thought about dropping her off in Celsia’s story.

Amaretto Sour – I had plans for her to make cameo appearances in Party Montigo. She would be living in Sunlit Tides with her boyfriend and daughter. But I don’t know if I’ll have Gen 2 of Party Montigo in Sunlit Tides or not.

Tequila Sunrise – Currently she’s apart of Tango Inferno and living in Lucky Palms.

Mojito – Mojito is due to appear in Borage’s story at some point and also in Dodder’s. Mojito isn’t sabled so naturally he doesn’t have a place he calls home.

 

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Party Montigo: Chapter 17, Fairly Odd Parents

“I’m feeling good today.  I think I’ll turn into my doll form for fun.”

 

 

 

 

“Taco, are you stressed out? You’re in your doll form.”

“No! I don’t need to be stressed to be this way!”

“Okay.. I was just-“

“I was born this way!”

“I know I was just say-“

“Don’t judge me you evil meat eater!”

“Taco.. Wha-“

“You are evil! Animals having feelings!”

 

 

 

“What is going on with our sister?”

“I dunno but it’s hard to believe were twins. How come us 2 are the only ones who are normal?”

“Perhaps the crazy gene ran out when it got to us.”

“Down with you meat eaters! Down with evil fairies! You are killing my beloved friends!”

“What on earth is Taco ranting about now?”

“Not sure, GL. I say we should just ignore her.”

“Ignore our sister? That would be rude. I cannot do no such thing. We must help her.”

“Seriously.. There’s no hope in this family.”

“How would you like it if I ate your friends? You wouldn’t like it so stop eating mines!”

 

 

 

 

“BLEH!”

“AAAAHHHH!”

 

 

 

 

“Why in the hell you did that for?!”

“I dunno.. just cause.”

“Stop it! You’re not evil! You have no right!”

“Huh? I can scare people if I want to. Who made you queen?”

“My lord and savior Satan!”

“I think you ARE Satan!”

 

 

 

 

“rose check out this pic of liam & his new grl. he done with u. lol”

 

 

 

 

“Blasphemy! You photoshopped this!”

 

 

 

 

 

“Is that a rave in the sky? I didn’t know that Rave Heaven was real. I better get my glow sticks so I can get my PLUR on.”

 

 

 

 

 

“WAIT! I DIDN’T GET MY GLOW STICKS! HOW AM I GONNA GET MY PLUR ON?”

 

 

 

 

“That rave sucked. Glow sticks are not  suppose to go up my ass and their music sucked. I think it was Dubstep. Worse rave ever.”

 

 

 

 

 

“I hope this isn’t pee.”

 

 

 

 

 

“What did I come down here for? Punch the baby? Well that’s just rude. I’m not punching the baby, talking fish tank.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Can you say puppy, for great-grandmama?”

“I speak for Satan.”

“What? What on earth is your mother teaching you?”

” I be evil for Satan.”

“No, Dazzle. You be good for great-grandmama.”

“No! I be evil!”

“Dazzle, being evil is bad. You have to be good, okay?”

“Dazzle evil!”

“I swear your mother isn’t allowed to have more kids like your grandmother, Rose.”

“Sister!”

“No, Rosette is your grandmother. I see I have a lot of bad to undo.”

 

 

 

 

 

“How is our baby doing?”

“She’s fine but I’m thinking we should of waited before having another baby.”

“Why?”

“Dazzle. His mother and grandmother are corrupting the poor child. He talks about being evil for Satan and thinks Rose is his sister.”

“It would only be 2 kids we’ll be looking after. It wouldn’t be so hard.”

“True but you’re forgetting about the teen girls. Taco is starting to get nutty and Fiona is acting like a rebel. I think it’s time we send the girls to boarding school. They don’t need to be around their mothers and older siblings.”

“Okay, maybe boarding school would be good for them.”

 

 

 

 

“Look up, you’ll see snow.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

 

 

 

 

“Aaahhh! I’m cold!”

“Ha ha ha ha! Told ya!”

 

 

 

 

“That was cool.”

“This is too easy…”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

 

 

 

“Look up, you’ll see Satan.”

“Really?”

“Sure, you gotta look up right now.”

“Okay! I wanna see Santa! I wonder if he’ll give me presents.”

“I said Satan.”

“Santa, I know. I love Santa!”

 

 

 

“I don’t see Santa.”

“Wait for it…”

 

 

 

 

“AAAAHHHH!!!!!!! I didn’t see Santa!”

“Ha ha ha ha! This is fun.”

 

 

 

 

“That was not cool, GB!”

“Don’t be lame. Fairy tricks are fun.”

“I don’t like them!”

“Wanna be a fairy? Cause I need a fairy to do evil with and GL is lame.”

“Only if I get pink wings.”

 

 

 

 

“Now which poison will turn my sis into a fairy? Hmm.. I don’t have time for this. Where are the mods?”

 

 

 

“What happen to you?”

“I do not want to talk about it.”

 

 

 

 

“Pardon me Sir OCG, may I have a moment of your time?”

“What?”

“Why are you evil?”

“Why are you gay?”

“Why must everyone assume that I am a homosexual? I can assure you that I am not. I just haven’t found the right lady yet.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“My reasons are true. I am waiting for the right lady.”

“Try looking on adamandsteve.com”

“That is a website for homosexuals looking for hook ups.”

“Exactly.”

 

 

“It is a fine afternoon I must say, grandmother.”

“Yes it is, GL. My water just broke.”

“Oh dear, perhaps it’s time for everyone to come outside to panicked over your labor?”

“It is that time.”

“I will call the others out.”

 

 

 

“OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!”

 

 

 

 

 

“Welcome home, Zarah Elise Montigo.”

 

 

 

 

“Hey stupid! I got something for you.”

“Did you just throw fairy crack at me?”

“Yeah.”

 

 

 

 

“Muhahahaha! I now have a new solider for Satan!”

“We work for Santa now? Are we going to be elves and make toys?”

“Oh gosh you are a idiot!”

 

 

 

“Can I meet Santa now?”

“Soon. I have to gather more minions for our lord before we can meet him.”

“How can I help?”

“Bring your dad into town. I need his seed.”

“My dad has seeds like a tree?”

“Uhh.. yeah. He has a seed that I need.”

“Were gonna grow a tree? What kind of tree?”

“A special fairy tree, now call your dad.”

Party Montigo: Chapter 16, Baby Talk

“At last, peace and quiet. I think our daughters blacked out with their excessive drinking. I think we should be a ban of alcohol in this house.”

“No Gen, I mean I like to have a drink time to time. We could just limit it, not take it away. They would just leave to drink somewhere else and get into trouble. Such as driving drunk. I rather the girls drink at home than some bar.”

“I guess you are right. The only time this house is quiet is after they drank until passing out. However drinking like that is not good. Maybe we should send them to rehab?”

“Rehab wouldn’t take them, especially Rosebud. Gen, they are fine. I’ve done some blood work on the others and they are fine.” 

“Sometimes I forget you were once a doctor.”

“I do miss working in the medical field. But I think with me being 150 years old, I should retire ha ha ha.”

“Do you ever regret me extending your life, causing you to out live your love ones?”

“No but I do miss them. I’m happy living long with you, Gen.”

 

 

 

“I always wonder about it. I felt it was a selfish act on my part. I just couldn’t bare watching you age and pass on. It was always a old rule from my Navoxn tribe to never fall in love with a human. But we learned to extend lifelines however they would out live their human families.”

“I’m glad you did Gen. On the bright side, I get to see many generations of grandchildren. But I always wonder about something.”

“What’s that?”

“I figure since I would live long… Maybe we would have more kids?”

“More kids? I thought we agreed with 3 we had plus Rosette was enough.”

“At the time… But I kinda want more.”

“I don’t know about this..”

 

 

 

“Gen, we can finally give the little sister Zin always wanted.”

“She has Rosette.”

“A clone of herself, Gen. I’m talking about actual sister.”

“But we raised them as sisters..”

“I know but deep down inside, Zin doesn’t feel that Rose is a real sister. She’s just a living reflection of herself. Zin talked about this with me. Let’s have another child.”

 

 

 

 

“WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!”

 

 

 

 

“Where did this annoying fairy baby came from? Oh right.. Mama said you’re my grandson. I’m too sexy to be a grandma so in public, you’re little brother. Got it devil rat? If you ever call me “grandma”, I’ll toss you in the sea and you’ll be shark food.”

 

 

“Blond brat! Which one of you sluts is trying to make me old by having demon spawns like him? Is this one yours, hussy?! You trying to turn me into a old hag?!”

 

 

 

“Mommy! It’s not my baby. I’m only 13.. I’m too young to have babies! Us having babies won’t turn you old, mommy. And Dazzle is GB’s son that she had with Uncle Max.”

 

 

 

 

“I’m not taking my chances with you hookers! Stop having babies! I don’t want anymore of these creatures from hell!”

 

 

 

“You stop us from having kids, mommy! All that meat you been eating is making you crazy! Meat is BAD mommy! We shouldn’t eat meat because animals deserve to live!”

 

 

 

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about but I could go for a bacon cheeseburger with a glass of gin.”

“Mommy don’t! Don’t eat my friends!”

“Did I drop you when you were a baby? Take my brother before I drop.”

“Dazzle is your grandson.”

“I said… take MY BROTHER.”

 

 

 

“Is this your grandbaby?”

“My brother.”

“Huh? Our parents didn’t have another baby.”

“I know but I’m too sexy to be a granny so he’s my brother. Liam wouldn’t love me if I’m a old granny.”

“Liam has grandchildren, you idiot. He wouldn’t care if you had a grandbaby. Borage gave me grandkids and I’m still sexy. I love my g-babies. I’m gonna meet them one day.”

“I don’t care! Dazzle is my brother.  His daddy is Max.. so Dazzle is like your step-son or something.”

“Wut?”

 

 

 

“Is Dazzle your nephew-son?!”

“Yeah.. I fucked GB. So what?!”

“That’s your niece, you sick fuck!”

“GB isn’t my real niece! She’s not blood related!”

“That doesn’t matter! It’s still nasty!”

 

 

 

“You can’t talk about being nasty when your Liam twins are cousin-siblings with Rose’s Liam triplets!”

“He didn’t know he slept with us both!”

“Well didn’t you sluts have more babies with him?”

“We had a deal!”

“A deal to cheat on me again?!”

“You cheated on me with my niece!”

“Yeah.. so? What you gonna do about it?”

 

 

 

“Divorce you. I told you the rules.. Only I can do the cheating while you be the faithful on in this marriage. One of us have to be faithful and it’s not gonna be me.”

 

 

 

 

“Divorce? No! Don’t do that! I’m sorry.. I’ll be good. I’ll stop cheating and let you do that.”

 

 

 

 

“Good, cause this marriage won’t work if were both cheating.”

 

 

 

 

“Where’s your mom? I don’t wanna watch you. You smell like shit and I ain’t changing no shitty diapers. You gonna have to stay in your shit until you learn how to use a potty. Got it, brat?”

“Bah!”

“Good.”

 

 

 

“Hello kids, I have some wonderful news to share. Gen are trying to have another baby.”

“Dad? Really?”

“Yes, Zirobi. We decided to have another baby.”

“Aren’t you both like old and stuff?”

“Age wise, yes Tini but we are young health wise to have another child.”

“That is fantastic news, grandfather. Children are a wonderful blessings from above. I cannot wait for the day when I met a lovely lady whom I shall marry and have little blessings of my own.”

“2 men can’t have babies together unless you marry a boy alien, GL.”

‘Dear sister, why do you and the rest insist that I am a homosexual?”

“You talk gay.”

“I do no such thing. How does a homosexual sound like?”

“Like that.”

 

 

 

“If you’re gonna start shooting out fairy brats out your cooch hole, start looking after them!”

“Don’t tell me what to do! I do what I want.”

“Yeah? Allowing your son to wonder off into the street?”

“My mom was watching him.. Besides, Dazzle has wings. He can fly away from cars.”

“You let your mom watch him? No wonder! I swear you 2 don’t need to have many kids!”

“Oh you’re just jealous cause you keep busting a nut before putting it in. You’ll never get a baby if you keep doing that.”

“I do not have a premature ejaculation issue! Unlike the rest of your idiots, I wear a condom!”

“Like they make condoms that small!”

 

 

 

“Hello Aunt Zinnia. Do you have any wonderful news to share?”

“No.”

“Oh, so in that crystal ball is bad news?”

“I have no idea of what I’m doing.”

 

 

 

“Oh shit!”

“What is it, Aunt Zinnia? Did you see something troublesome?”

“Yes.. my bubba. Something bad is going to happen to my bubba.”

 

 

 

“Perhaps you can stop this awful thing from happening to Borage since it has appeared to you.”

“I would but I’m just gonna get drunk and forget about this vision I saw.”

 

 

 

 

“Okay Dazzle baby. It’s time for me to teach you the ways of evil since you are my warrior of evil. Are you ready baby boo?”

 

 

 

“Me good.”

 

 

 

“No Dazzle baby, you are evil not good. Remember that kid. Dazzle is evil like mommy.”

“Me be good.”

“No, you be bad and evil like mommy. You are the warrior for evil.”

“Me is good.”

“Damn it Dazzle! Mommy said you are evil. Not good. Good is bad and Bad is good.”

 

 

 

“Now I want you to repeat these words that mommy is about to say. Those other children are worthless bastards so when approaching you tell them to,  “Bow before our lord and savior Satan or feel the wrath of terrible singing by Justin Bieber.”

“……”

“Was that too much? Okay.. Just steal other brats juice boxes. You need more apple juice for evil.”

 

 

 

“I steal juice for evil?”

 

 

 

 

“Yes Dazzle baby! You steal all the juice for the name of evil!”

Party Montigo: Chapter 15, Where the hell you been?

Note: I did some skipping around since I had to create a new file from scratch. The original file was never backed up before my laptop was stolen. Fiona, Fajita and Taco had aged to teens. Glitter Bug gave birth to a boy named Dazzle. Zirobi, the second born child of Texas and Genesis is now living with them.  Zinnia and Rosette are returning from their time in Quest For Immorality  in Chapter 18-20.  Texas and Zion will appear different because they were lost and I had to recreate them. This story is now behind Borage’s timeline but will sync soon.

 

 

 

“With my superior intelligence, I would be able to create my dream woman in my new lab. It’s good to be back home but not good not to be woman-less virgin!”

 

 

 

 

“Okay which one of those morons tried to use this to look up porn? I regret coming back. Maybe I should of stayed on Lunar Lakes. Then again I would miss the aliens since they love to come here more.”

 

 

 

 

“You think you’re hot stuff but you ain’t. I’m going to create army of evil fairy children to destroy you.”

“You shouldn’t be allowed to breed but the only guy you could get to touch you is your pervert Uncle!”

“Max isn’t blood related! I can get other men to fuck me to make evil babies.”

“With roofies? You’re too trashy to get them when sober.”

 

 

 

 

“Whatevs. At least I fucked a human unlike you and that blow up doll.”

“I don’t have a blow up doll!”

“So a blow up doll magically appeared in your closet?”

“Why were you in my closet?!”

“That’s none of your business, Mr. Doll-Fucker.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Eww! Why do we have these gross chickens here now? I thought we couldn’t have pets unless this is our future dinner.”

 

 

 

 

 

“GB, Grandmama said if I made good grades then I could get chickens to raise. My chickens are not your future dinner! Eating meat is wrong and evil! Animals and plants are my friends.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Look here you featherly mother fucker, I don’t care what my hippy sister say but you’re dinner!”

“Oh dare you threaten me for I am OCG, the original chicken gangster. Bow before me hussy!”

“I don’t think so future dinner! I’m gonna rip off your feathers, season you up, then fry your bitch ass and it will be glorious!”

 

 

 

“Not if I destroy you first!”

“Oh bring it on, feather bitch ass!”

 

 

 

 

“I’m gonna rip off your head, chew it up and fry it in a frying pan with your young!”

“You cannot defeat the great OCG!”

“Watch me, future dinner!”

 

 

 

 

“How was that possible?”

“I told you, you cannot defeat the great OCG.”

“You used the cheats.”

“I did no such thing.”

 

 

 

“GB, stop fighting with my chickens. You’re being rude. Besides, OCG is a black belt.”

 

 

 

 

“This war ain’t over future dinner! I will train and come back to kick your feather ass and then you will be dinner for me and my army of evil fairy warrior children!”

“I shall wait. But until then,  have fun with aliens.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You shall see.”

“And you shall see my deep fryer!”

 

 

 

‘Fajita, what did you get on question 15?”

“Figure it out, I’m not going to tell you the answer.”

“C’mon! I thought if I did homework with you then you’ll give me all of the answers.”

“I will do no such thing, Fiona! You have to do your own homework.”

“Homework is lame. I wanna live if my bro Borage, his kids don’t have to do homework.”

“Yeah and they are all idiots too. We are smarter than them, you can figure out question 15.”

 

 

 

 

I’ll know what I’ll do. I’ll use my genie magic and get the answers.”

“You can’t do that! That is cheating! If Grandmama finds out then you won’t get that DJ booth that you want.”

“I can too, I can just ask my brothers. They’ll get me anyways since I’m the baby.”

“I will tell Grandmama on you.”

“You’re such a tattle tell! No wonder no ones likes you.”

“That’s not true and that’s not nice to say.”

“Just putting that out there.”

 

 

 

 

“I would doing my school work by my friends but plants can’t help me on this problem nor talk. Maybe I should get some human friends.”

 

 

 

 

“Whatcha doing, sis?”

“School work, I’m having trouble with this problem.”

“I can help.”

 

 

 

 

“Okay it say, Judy has 55 pies but Johnny took away 12 pies then Heidi gave Judy 34 more pies but Zach ate 5 and Judy baked 11 more. How many pies does Judy have now?”

“Who cares! The real problem is that this Judy girl has a weight problem. She’s gonna get the diabeetus.”

“I guess eating having a lot of pies like that would be a issue.”

“Yeah we gotta find this Judy girl and tell her to stop eating so many damn pies.”

 

 

 

 

“How on earth are we going to find her?”

“Google! Google can find anything. I found the best clinic by using google.”

“Why did you need a clinic? Are you pregnant?”

“Gonorrhea.”

 

 

 

 

“Should we write her a letter?”

“Yeah!”

“What should we say?”

“Uhhh…. Dear Judy, You fat. Stop eating some many damn pies before you get the diabeetus. We are concern.”

“That’s sounds good. We need to help Judy. Maybe I can send her a basket of my vegetables.”

“Vegetables are lame. Let’s go eat a whole cake!”

 

 

 

 

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

“Yeah, I’m a witch.”

“I know you’re a bitch but that doesn’t answer my question.”

“Why are you being rude to me?”

“Not rude, honest. It’s rude to lie.”

“Still rude.”

 

 

 

 

“Do you want to hear your fortune?”

“Yeah.”

“Aliens are coming your way.”

“The aliens pretty much live here. That’s a given.”

“Also you will fail school if you don’t do you homework.”

“You suck at this.”

“I also see pimples.”

“O.M. G.! That is terrible!”

 

 

 

“It’s your bed time sweet Dazzle. If your idiot mother would stop yelling at that chicken, she could do this herself. I do wonder where on earth your grandmother is. I must admit it’s been very peaceful since she hasn’t been here.”

 

 

 

“Darling, are you concern that we haven’t seen our daughters in about a year?”

“Well yes, Gen. Zin and Rose are adults now, they can leave as they please.”

“But for a whole year without saying where they were going? They missed their daughters’ birthdays. They just cannot waltz off when they both have responsibilities here.”

“Gen, we gotta admit that we haven’t let them be a mother to their youngest children. I guess they figure there was no reason to come back sooner.”

“You saw how their older children turned out, especially Zinnia’s baby making son. Greta informed me there’s 7 children there now.”

“7 kids isn’t so bad, Gen. At least it isn’t 100 kids like what Martini’s father is trying to do.”

“That’s the issue, our oldest grandson is trying to be like his father. Sleeping with any females he see and having a baby that he can’t properly care for. I have a feeling our daughters took to see that man again. Why else would the leave without telling?”

“They said something about finishing a deal.”

“Yes, to have more children by him. They don’t need anymore kids with that awful man.”

 

 

 

 

“Shit, Zin… They are waiting for us. what do we do?”

“Chill, I got this.”

“I wanna be back in Liam’s arms.”

“Yeah and with that crazy nanny who almost shot you?”

“Bitch went to jail. If I had my steel, I would of gotten her.”

“Yeah right! You got beat up by a old hag.”

“She tripped me! That was a cheap shot.”

“Whatevs, you ain’t street.”

“Am too!”

 

 

 

“Zinnia Michelle! Where in hell have you been?! Do you realize you both have been gone for a year! You missed your daughters’ birthdays!”

“Sorry mama, we didn’t mean to stay gone this long.”

“Where have you been? Answer me!”

“Liam’s, we made a promise and honored it.”

“You had more kids with that disgusting man?!”

“Yes mama.”

 

 

 

 “I told you both that you were not allowed to have more kids with that man! What he’s doing is terrible!”

“But mama, we made him a promise after I had Borage and Celsia.”

“I don’t care about your promise! You both are married women! You just can’t go and birth more kids because of a lame promise! The kids you both had with that awful man turned out terrible! Did you know your son now have 7 kids by different women?”

“I saw pics, my 7 grandbabies are beautiful like their daddy.”

 

 

 

“That doesn’t matter! You’re terrible at child raising. I am doing my best to insure Fiona doesn’t grow up like her older siblings. Borage with all his baby making and he doesn’t care nor like them, Celsia with her.. I’m not sure what she’s doing but I know it’s something terrible, Dodder with his stealing and being a womanizer, and Erica…she’s just nuts. The only child of yours that came out decent is Acacia.”

 

 

 

 

“The last time I checked mama, I’m a grown ass woman. If I want to have more kids then it’s my right. None of my kids are dead or anything. I did the best I could. My kids are happy in their lives and that’s all that matters.”

 

 

 

“Don’y you talk to me in that tone! I am still your mother! You kids may be happy with there lives but my concern are about the great-grandchildren they will be bring into the world! I cannot have another generation of idiot Navoxes! It’s a embarrassment  for my tribe!”

 

 

 

“Does this mean you don’t love my kids? I know they have their issues but I still love them. My kids don’t embarrass me.”

 

 

 

“Of course I love my grandchildren. I just wish you did better with them. I was hoping you could show me with Fiona since she was suppose to be your last chance but since you had more… Zinnia, you use to be so smart until you created her.. Maybe I should of given you a sister. Then maybe you would of never created Rosette and you would still be your genius self like your brothers.”

 

 

 

“You regret me mama? You wish I was never created? I’m hurt. If you don’t love me then send me back to Liam’s where I can be loved forever!”

 

 

 

“I try to love you as you were my own child I gave birth to but sometimes… you make it difficult! What’s with your obsession with this man? You have a husband who loves you and you chase a man who doesn’t!  Liam will never love you! You have Finn, so deal with him!”

 

 

 

“But Liam does love me.. He just doesn’t know it yet. But I will marry him one day, mama. You just wait!”

 

 

 

“Mother! You have finally returned. Oh how I missed you so much. I want to embrace with you a loving hug, dear mother.”

“Eww no! I don’t want your homo cooties on me, GL!”

“But mother, I’m merely trying to show you love and kindness. I have missed your presence around our beloved home.”

“I leave for a year and you get more gay!”

 

 

 

 

“Dear mother, I do not understand. I am your only son and you reject me as I am nothing. Mother, I was the reason why you been gone for a year? Have I done something to upset you? I am trying to be the best son for you but my act of kindness and love is usually rejected by you.”

 

 

 

 

“You ain’t my only son no more. You got a little brother with giant ears. But I don’t like you.. In fact I don’t like any of you mistakes! I should of had abortions but Zin said I couldn’t abort Liam’s and your daddy hid the car keys so I couldn’t abort you and your sisters whenever I got pregnant. I just don’t like you jerks so stop with that gay shit and get a boyfriend!”

 

 

 

 

“Those are some pretty lights. I wonder where they come from? I should tell my nerdy uncle Zirobi about this but he’s busy making a science woman in his lab. What a nerd!”

 

 

 

 

“AHHHH SHIT! IT’S THOSE DAMN ALIENS!”

 

 

 

 

 

“SOMEBODY HELP ME! I’M BEING ABDUCTED!”

 

 

 

 

“Serves that bitch right..”

 

 

 

 

“You wrong Montigo. We come back for right one.”

“You gonna send me the video of me getting freaky with you green bastards?”

“No. Will destroy it.”

“Then why even record it? I did all that kinky shit for nothing? I was gonna post it on Redtube and be famous.”

Party Montigo: Chapter 14, The Plan, The Exit

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“Being faithful.. This is starting to get boring now…”

“I can hear you talking in your sleep, Zinnia.”

 

 

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“You still love me right? I know I put on some weight but we can still get married.”

“I can’t marry you Liam! You’re so fat! How can you find your dick with all that fat in the way?”

 

 

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“It’s just a nightmare.. I can feel your sexy warm body next to mines Liam….”

 

 

“Shit! You’re not my sexy Liam! No wonder I have nightmares of my boo not being sexy! Finn ruins my dreams! I hate him.. I’m sleeping on the couch…”

 

 

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“Mr. Liam? How did you get outside! OUCH!”

 

 

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I’m changing your name to Mr.Finn cause you’re a asshole! I hate you, you stupid bird!”

 

 

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“I’m going to miss that stupid bird.. Goodbye Mr.Liam.. you asshole!”

 

 

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“I’m gonna write mah boo a love letter. I could just email him but he blocked me.”

 

 

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“Dear sexy man of MINES, I love you. Be mines or else….”

 

 

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“You better not have any hos all up in your house gettin’ any lovin’ from you or I will get straight up hood on your ass. Don’t break my heart boo. I’m your ride or die bitch – Love, Rosette.”

 

 

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“Hey are these mics working?”

“Mine is, I muted yours, Zin.”

“Hey! That’s not fair!”

“You sound terrible, just saying.”

 

 

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♫ Baby it’s yours. All yours If you want it tonight. Just come through my door. Take off my clothes. And turn on the red light. ♫

 

 

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“What the fuck you think you’re doing Zion? Bad karaoke is me and Zin’s thing!”

“Possessive much? She’s my sister too. We can sing together too.”

“Yeah, Rose.. Shouldn’t you be busy being possessive of Liam or something?”

“He isn’t here! And your MY sister! Were suppose to have bad karaoke!”

“You don’t own her Rose! Go spend time with your daughters and son or something! Or go stalk Liam!”

“You both are gay!”

“Um.. okay..”

 

 

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“I wonder about this Liam guy that mom is so interest about. Judging by the photos she has of him naked in the bathroom, he’s easy on the eyes.”

 

 

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“I think I will have this man too! Now if mom can get him to return here then I will conceive a baby with him! I know mom won’t approve but I don’t give a fuck. That is my plan!”

 

 

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“I’m very pleased with the results of my surgery on my nose. I usually don’t agree on having plastic surgery but I felt being born with my father’s nose gave me a disadvantage with the ladies. I wonder if my family will notice the change.”

 

 

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“Whoa GL, what happen to your nose? You actually look good. I thought you were too bougie for plastic surgery.” 

 

 

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“I never said I was too good for such a thing. Thank you for the compliment. I’m quite pleased with the results. Although I hate to change what I was born with, I felt this change would help my chances in courting a nice lady and hopefully I shall marry soon.” 

 

 

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“Right.. I think the only type of person you’ll attract is a man named Bob who wears pink tights..”

 

 

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“I’m thinking of surgery too. I want to look like mom… For Gelman…”

 

 

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“Bitch, I don’t want you looking like me.. Gelman? I know you ain’t talking about MAH BOO! Keep your skank hands him!”

 

 

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“Too late mom.. I look like you BY THE POWER OF NRAAS MASTER CONTROLLER!”

 

 

 

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“There was once a beautiful princess who lived in a castles far, far away…”

 

 

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“That’s cool and all but I have a serious question, Grandpa. Am I going to be stupid like my parents and older siblings?”

 

 

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“That’s funny that you asked that. I have faith that you’ll be just fine, Fifi. You have Grandmama and I in your life, so you don’t have to worry about growing up and being like the others. You know your mother wasn’t always dumb. She was once a genius like you when she was young. She wanted a sister so bad and she cloned herself. Something went wrong in the cloning process and she wasn’t so smart anymore. Now we have Rosette. We loved her like she was our child too. She may be a headache at times but we love her. “

 

 

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“I was getting worried there.  I thought I had to start drinking and be stupid to fit in. That’s good to know.”

 

 

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“Don’t worry your pretty little head. Not all of the Montigos are idiots, just Zinnia, Rosette and most of their kids. Now get some sleep.”

 

 

 

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“This sauna is nice, GB.”

“I guess so.. It’s odd steaming in here with you Max.”

“Why?”

“You have a boner.”

 

 

 

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“You suddenly look attractive.. I can’t help it that you look hot now. You’re like Zin and Rose but with blonde hair. That’s hot.”

 

 

 

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“Um thanks.. That’s kinda creepy ya know. Aren’t you my uncle or something.”

 

 

 

“I’m just your uncle by marriage.. It’s not like were blood related or anything. You just make me feel weird now..”

 

 

 

DAT ASS

 

 

 

“Don’t leave GB, come sit with me a little longer.”

“Um.. okay.”

 

 

“Since I’m not blood related to you.. And I never fucked a fairy. Wanna do it?”

“..I dunno.. I’m kinda saving myself for Gelman.”

“That Liam douche? I can’t stand him. What’s so great about him? He got my wife pregnant and left me to raise his idiot twins. Besides, Liam doesn’t like virgins.”

“He doesn’t?”

“No, he doesn’t.. So if you save yourself for him.. He doesn’t want you. Ya know.. I like virgins.”

“Really?”

“Yeah I really like them.”

“I guess you can have me then.”

“That would be awesome.”

 

 

 

“Mmm.. this is nice. Fairies are hot!”

 

 

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes if Gelman doesn’t like virgins.”

“Okay, well I’ll be gentle.”

“Don’t do that.. Be as rough as possible.”

“Right.. you’re a child of Rosette’s.. Go figure.”

 

 

“YES YES YES YES! HARDER MAX! I KNOW YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS YOU PRICK! MAKE ME BLEED!”

“ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE A VIRGIN???!  YOU FREAK!!! I’M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN!”

“IF YOU WEREN’T SO FAT YOU COULD GO FASTER! HARDER! YES YES! HARDER! BETTER! STRONGER! WERK IT!”

“I’M TRYING YOU PSYCHO!!!!!”

 

 

“I have this burning desire to steal Max’s clothes. I can’t help myself for I have a evil trait and must do evil shit!”

 

 

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“HEY! Somebody took my clothes! That’s not funny guys!”

 

 

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“Hey guys, I’m not a virgin anymore.”

“Um okay.”

“Oh my dear sister! How come you could just your precious gift away just like that. I am displeased with your decision, young lady!”

“You’re so gay GL! Everyone has sex now. I guess you’re saving yourself for marriage?”

“Why yes I am, dear sister. I will not just give away my precious gift like some tart!”

“So gay GL! You’re a Montigo, just put out!”

“I will certainly not! Shame on you GB for doing so!”

“GL, I find it hard to believe you’re a child of Rosette.”

“I get that a lot Uncle Zion but I am indeed the son of Rosette Montigo. I know it’s hard to believe.”

“It’s hard to believe to that you’re straight, GL.”

“I’ve heard enough from you, GB. I can assure you that I am Heterosexual and secured with that matter. Why does me being a Homosexual bother you so much, dear sister?”

“You’re gaaaaaaaay!” 

 

 

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“Oh dear! A spider! The bugger had gave me quite a fright!”

 

 

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“Keep acting and talking like GL, you’ll end up with a boyfriend.”

 

 

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“Zin, when are we going to Liam? I know my boo honey is waiting for me! He’s missing my loving that I got to give him!”

 

 

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“You’re going to see dad? I wanna go!”

 

 

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“Rose you idiot! You weren’t suppose to let Tini know about our plan to see Liam. You can’t go Tini.. and don’t tell your grandparents about this or I’ll beat your face in!”

“My bad, keep your cocksucker close Tini. We gotta make more babies with your daddy.”

“Oh okay.. Tell daddy I said hi.”

 

 

 

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“Ugh! I keep throwing up! I hope this doesn’t mean what I think it means…”

 

 

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“Max, why are you walking around in a towel?”

“Someone took my clothes.”

“Then go up stairs and put some other clothes on dumb ass!”

“Maybe I like wearing towel, Zin.”

“I can see your balls, Uncle Max.”

“Then STOP looking then, Tini.”

“Eww Max! Our kid don’t need that! Fifi can walk in here at anytime!”

 

 

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“I don’t understand why we have to do all this school work. I just gonna be like mommy. I wanna be a party girl and chase boys and stalk them.”

 

 

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“We have to be better than our parents Taco! That’s why we live here with our grandparents. Were gonna go to college and stuff. We’ll be better than our dumb parents. There’s nothing good about being a stalker party girl like mommy.”

 

 

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“You’re such a nerd Fajita! I don’t care whatcha say. I’m gonna be a party girl cause I think it’s cool and stuff. You can be a nerd with no friends but I’m gonna be cool with friends.”

 

 

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“Girls, stop whining and do your homework. None of you will be like your mothers. I will make sure of it.”

 

 

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“I talked to my big brother Borage and he said when I get older I can move to Starlight Shores and DJ at the club he DJs at. I think I rather be a singer but that would so cool living in Starlight Shore with Borage. He’s cool!”

 

 

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“There is no way I will allow you to move away and live with Borage. Out of your 4 brothers, Borage is the worst of them all. You’re staying here, Fiona.”

“But grandpa…”

“No buts! We won’t allow it, young lady.”

 

 

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“I’m afraid it’s true! That’s pregnant with my cousin-child!”

 

 

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“This ruins my plans to carry a Gelman baby! I wanted a Gelman baby to be my first!”

 

 

“Dear boo love, I’m coming again to have babies! I know you miss me…”

“Mom! I have something to tell you!”

“Shut up bitch! Don’t you see I’m busy writing a letter to my love! I don’t care what you have to say!”

“But it’s important. It’s about babies.”

“Babies are gross and annoying!”

“But mom…”

“Fuck off! I gotta finish!”

 

 

“I miss carrying little Liam babies in me even if they are spawns of Satan.”

“Speaking of carrying little babies, mom…..”

“I don’t care, GB! I’m having a moment here!”

“Yeah.. a moment of crazy..”

 

 

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“You know I hate these Kids pop songs, Fifi.”

“What do you wanna sing then, mommy?”

“Pussy Ride by DJ Funk. That’s my song!”

“But mommy! I’m only 12! I can’t sing something like that.”

“I sang that to Celsia and Erica as babies. They turned out fine.”

 

 

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♫ I don’t want no scrub. A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me. Hanging out the passenger side. Of his best friend’s ride. Trying to holler at me! ♫

 

 

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“I’m amazed how my eyes can roll back like this!”

 

 

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“What the fuck is that? Is it Christmas?”

 

 

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“HEY! STOP IT! I DON’T WANNA GO UNLESS YOU’RE TAKING ME TO LIAM’S!”

 

 

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“It’s quiet around here.. I wonder where Rose went. I really don’t care. I guess I should call Borage and see how many grandkids I have now. I bet I have like 20 by now. I raised a idiot.” *sighs*

 

 

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“Thank you.”

“Fuck you, old ass alien! I said take me to Twinbrook! This ain’t no Twinbrook dumb ass!”

“Twinbrook, no. You, Sunlit Tides.”

“I don’t give a fuck, freakazoid! Teleport me to my boo’s house! You said If I agreed to have kinky alien sex with you, you’ll take me to Liam’s!”

“Me lied.”

“You asshole!”

“You easy.”

“UGH! I HATE YOU!”

 

 

 

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“That umbrella makes you look gaaaaaaaaay!”

 

 

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“Oh no.. What if Liam’s see those pics of the freaky alien sex I had with that old ass alien… then he won’t love me!”

 

 

 

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“Yay rain puddle!”

 

 

 

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“Thank goodness that pregnancy test said no! No freaky old green alien baby. Now Liam will never know about me cheating on him.”

 

 

 

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“But I miss my boo so much and I must see him soon! I can’t go on without seeing my love! It’s been so long since I last felt his touch. Damn it Zin! Why are we still here?! I’m about to die.”

 

 

 

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“When are we leaving to see my boo! I can’t live much longer without him. The baby test said no. So I’m good.”

 

 

 

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“Mine said no too, we can sneak out tonight. Don’t forget your ticket this time.”

“I won’t. My vag juices are flowing just knowing that I’ll see Liam soon.”

“Gross.”

 

 

 

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“Uncle Zion, don’t say anything but my mom and Aunt Zin are going to Twinbrook to have more babies with my daddy.”

“Don’t care, I’ll be happy to get a break from them..”

 

 

 

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“Wheeeeee! I’m free ballin’! I love just wearing a towel! The air feel nice on my balls!”

“PUT SOME CLOTHES ON DAMN IT!”

“No!”

 

 

 

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“Oh Liam my love! I am so sorry we had you wait so long for my love!”

“This is going to be a long flight.”

“Shut up Zin! We must hurry! My Liam needs me or he will die without my sweet loving!”

 

 

 

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“Hey little one. I tried to tell your bitch grandma about you but she wouldn’t listen. I guess we will tell your Uncle Dad then. My aunt is gonna be pissed. I don’t care because soon, you will have a Gelman sibling!”

 

 

 

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“And I will teach you both all kinds of evil! Muhahahahahaha!”

“Who are you talking to GB?”

 

 

 

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“I’m pregnant with your nephew-son or niece-daughter.”

“That’s awesome!”

 

 

 

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“I’m gonna be a Uncle daddy! That sounds awkward… It’s not GB is my blood niece or anything!”

 

 

 

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“Wheeeeeeeeeeee! Party Montigo fo’ life!”