Love. Lust. – Chapter 4: Everything

Mary J Blige – Everything

Family has always been very important to me. It’s why I am a wife and mother of 4 wonderful teenagers, Cienna, Chloe, Emery, and Ricardo. They are my everything. My husband Antonio may not be the biological father of 3 of my children but he has been the only father my girls had ever known.

I married young and had my twins Cienna and Chloe. Their father is a surfer guy named Travis who is originally from Hawaii but he loved the waves more than he loved me. He left for Hawaii, leaving me with 2 toddler girl alone.

I soon met Emery’s father Gabe. He was a fireman in Bridgeport. We fell in love quick as I always been a hopeless romantic. We were soon engaged before I found out I was pregnant. During the 7 month of my pregnancy, Gabe was called to a house fire in the middle of the night. Gabe didn’t survive the fire and never got to meet his daughter Emery. 

I was crush after losing Gabe. I felt helpless as I was a single mother to 3 very young girls without fathers. I moved back to Brightpoint Island where I grew up to be close to my parents. They were a big help with the girls while I got back on my feet.

I opened a dress shop with my mom and that’s how I met Antonio. It was love at first sight. He was a single with 2 boys but they live with their mother. He accepted me and my 3 girls. After we got married, he legally adopted Emery.




My parents Liam and Zinnia are everything to me too. As a little girl, I always dreamed to have a marriage like theirs. It was perfect in my mind as I never saw my parents fight and they always seem to be in love. I tried so hard with Travis but it failed miserably. I cried many nights because I thought I would never have the kind of marriage my parents have. With Antonio, I finally have that. 




My parents raised us well and shown us what a healthy marriage looks like. I try to be ideal to my parents but my brothers Borage and Cergio are total dumpster fires. Borage cheats on his wife all the time, Cergio cheats on his sometimes but he also hits his wife. All 3 of us grew up in the same house but turned out so different. How is that possible?




I love my brothers but I really wish they would quit their shit. I don’t tell them how to live their life but I also don’t want to hear about the problems they are having with their “girlfriends”.

I shouldn’t even know about that but they feel they should be honest to me about these other women they have cause I’m their only sister. I feel for Lindy and Kelly, They deserve better men to love them.




My family isn’t perfect. I may not be cheating or have 11 kids like my brother but my family is suffering a huge loss. A year ago we lost our youngest member of our family to a deadly flu virus.

My daughter Octavia was only 6 when she passed away and I haven’t been the same since losing her. She was everything to me like my older children. She was such a daddy’s girl and got her way with Antonio.

Antonio wants to turn Octavia’s room into a room for me to design new dresses in but I can’t find myself to change anything in Octavia’s room. We have been getting into a lot of fights since her death. I feel like he’s trying to remove her from my life but he says he’s trying to help me heal. I don’t see how turning her room into a design room is going to help. I can do that at the shop. I want to keep her room as is.




Today I’m at the dress shop called Felicity’s Day where we sell wedding dresses, prom dresses, formal dresses, and regular dresses. I love working here with my mom and Octavia loved coming here with me. She wanted to work here when she grows up. However, my older daughters aren’t really as interest as Octavia was.

I had hoped they would want to work at the shop but Cienna wants to move to Starlight Bay to be a model or actress. Chloe wants to work in the music business in Bridgeport and Emery wants to be a forensic scientist in Auberon.



I wanted to show the girls my new wedding dress collection called Octavia. I worked many months, had many sleepless nights but I manage to finish in time for the Fall season. I am very happy with my 15 dress collection.

“So how are ya’ll liking the collection, girls?”




There was a silence in the room. I could tell the girls really didn’t want to be there. It was a Sunday afternoon and they rather be out with their friends but I really needed their support today.



“Mom, I really didn’t want to sit here and watch you try on 15 different dresses. Couldn’t you just have shown us the pics? That would have been much faster. Band practice is today. We got a show at The Perc next Saturday. We really need to practice. Ender has been slacking.”



“The dresses were hot mom but there were a few that look very similar. There was one I wouldn’t be caught dead in but most of them are good. I like this one this most. When I model I’m only going to do top fashion but hey bridal is pretty hot too.”




“Wow rude, Cienna. I liked them all, Mom. Very pretty! I think they will all sell!”



“Thanks, Emery.”

“Oh such a suck up, Emery! You have no taste! You like everything. You think Nickelback is a good band and everyone knows they suck!”

“I do too have taste, Chloe! You guys are just mean!”

“We are just giving critiques. That is what you want, mom?”

“In a way, yes Cienna. What do you think Chloe?”

“They are cool but the 6th one was kinda ugly but I mean Octavia would have loved it.”

“Awww, she would. You guys can go now. I’m expecting someone in a bit. Have fun.”





His name is Clark Queen, a designer from Ciderwood, Montana. who I plan to do business with. He traveled here to show me his collection of wedding dresses that I may add to my shop. He’s also curious about my Octavia collection. If he likes it then his shop will be the first to sell them. I’m both excited and nervous.



“Hello, Mrs. Day. This is a lovely shop you have here. I didn’t have a hard time finding the place. Nice location I must say. Will I be also meeting your mother Zinnia today too?”



“Thanks. You can just call me Celsia. But no it will be just me today. My mom is on a shopping trip to Bridgewood today. It’s nice meeting you, Clark. You look familiar.”




“Oh. Maybe I can meet her tomorrow. I am in town for a couple of days. I would love to meet her too. It’s not needed but I always been a fan of her dresses.”



“It’s cool. You can meet her tomorrow. You must be a fan boy.”


“Ha ha ha. I hope I’ll get some fans one day too.”




“So let’s get right down to business. This is my Celine collection. I hope you like it. It’s doing well in Ciderwood.”

“I’ll have a look. Oh wow. These are very nice. I especially love the sweetheart cut.”


“Why do you look so nervous?”

“I wasn’t sure if it was gonna be good enough for you and your mother.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. You’re good. The model is pretty.”

“She’s my daughter, Celine.”




“You named your collection after your daughter.”

“Yep. May I see Octavia?”

“She’s not here anymore.”


“Oh. You want to see my collection!”

“Um yeah, that’s what I said.”



“Octavia is a nice collection. I would love to have it in my shop.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

“How do you feel about Celine?”

“I Brightpoint would love it.”

“Great! We can work out the details tomorrow with your mother.”

“That sounds good.” 




I came home and Chloe was having band practice with her friends and cousin Ada. I don’t mind the racket in my garage. I just love having a lively house again.

When Octavia was alive this house swarmed with little kids running run laughing and playing. My teens couldn’t stand it and they would go to their friends’ houses.

When Octavia got sick the house grew quiet and cold. No more laughter and playing. It just didn’t feel like a home anymore.


It took months before things got back to normal. Instead of little kids, I have teenagers hanging out here all the time. This didn’t sit well with Chloe’s friend Ender’s mom Penny Flake. She wanted to be the cool mom and have kids over all the time. But Chloe said she was starting to get weird cause she would hang out with them and act like she was a teen too.

I’ll listen to the kids play for a bit and then I go do my own thing. I don’t need to be their friend. I only come around when I have snacks to give to the hungry bandmates.



Cienna is a bit boy crazy and has a crush on one of Chloe’s bandmates. She’s usually watching him play and this annoys Chloe. I would hear them arguing but I let the twins work things out.



Her crush is a Yager boy named Brenden. He’s kinda strange to me because he wears fangs like he’s a vampire. But it’s supposed to impress the girls I guess.

The Yagers had their last 6 kids late in their lives and they kinda let their kids do whatever but they are still good kids. Their oldest is my age so I wonder why were they still having kids. Can you believe they had 2 sets of triplets? I heard it was fertility treatments was the reason.

Their oldest, Maddox is my brother Cergio’s best friend. I hope Brenden is nothing like Maddox. He’s kinda shitty like Cergio and I know they are up to some shady shit but I don’t know what it is. I just don’t trust Maddox. I’m friends with Maddox’s first wife Ebony and she knows some dirty things about him.



I’m not sure if I want my daughter involved with Brenden. She likes him so much. But he doesn’t seem like a bad kid. Maybe Regan and Bryn did right with him.



“Hi, Brenden. You played really well. I think you could be the next Jimi Hendrix.”




“Um, thanks but I don’t know who that is.”




“Kurt Cobain!”

“Didn’t he shoot himself.”

“Yeah but that’s not the point I’m making. Oh my gosh, you’re super cute!”

“Thanks. Not bad yourself.”




My niece Ada comes a lot and Cergio asked us to keep an eye on her. He doesn’t trust Ender around his daughter because he already has a daughter himself. I can understand Cergio doesn’t want Ada to be baby mama number 2 but my mom is raising her and Ada will be fine.

Ender is a good boy, he made a mistake once and he’s learning from it. Ada told me he wants to take things slowly but Cergio doesn’t care. He just doesn’t him to see her.

As long as Ada is not living under his roof, my brother really can’t say shit. My mom said either he moves her in or stop trying to break them up. Trying to forbid love is not going to work. God forbid he has the birds and bees chat with her. Cergio only shows up when he feels like it. My kids are everything, his kids are burdens.



“We’re just playing foosball. Nothing funny.”

“I know but I don’t want Cergio to kick my ass.”






Since it was Sunday it was time to make Octavia’s favorite meal. Grilled fish with potatoes. I make this every Sunday every since she died and I love making it. Cooking this meal makes me feel happy and good inside.



“I met Clark today and he loved the collection. It’s gonna be in his shop on Ciderwood.”

“Fish again?”

“I always make grilled fish on Sundays. It’s Octavia’s favorite.”




“She’s dead mom. Cooking this isn’t gonna bring her back.”


“I’m sick of it dad! Everything is about Octavia! What about us?”



“I can’t eat this anymore. I’m getting Uber Eats.”

“Kids, sit down and eat!”

“No! I’m not gonna sit here and eat this graveyard food anymore! Only Octavia liked this and no one else does!”

“I said sit down and eat the meal that your mother made!”

“It’s okay Antonio. Let them go order food.”




I was shocked how my kids acted at dinner. I didn’t know they were bothered so much. I thought they enjoyed eating Octavia’s favorite as much as I did but my kids did have a point.

What about them? Everything has been about Octavia. My collection, my meals, and I even make everyone watch all her favorite movies on movie nights. We haven’t seen anything new in a year.



I’m a horrible parent. I’m putting one child before the others and not thinking about their feelings. How could I do this them when I say they are my everything? All I do is think about Octavia and wonder how she would be today.




“How are you holding up? The kids didn’t mean what they said.”

“I’m a shit mother. I’ve been a shit mother towards them.”

“No, you haven’t. You are a wonderful mother. They are just fucking rude.”

“No sweetie, they have every right to be mad. Everything has been about her.”

“Not true.”




“I just miss her so much.”

“I know and I miss her too. We all miss her but I think cooking her meal every Sunday might be a bit much. Maybe you think about getting some counseling.”

“Counseling? You think I need it?”

“Honestly you haven’t been handling her passing as well as the others. With Chloe it was music, Cienna, blogging, Emery, photography, Rico, gaming, and me, cooking.”

“I made a collection.”

“I know and that’s good but look what use you’re doing. Keeping her room isn’t helping.”

“Don’t touch her room!”

“Okay, but one day will have to. We talked about having another baby.”

“Another baby? We can’t replace her!”

“We won’t replace her. But we always talked about having another baby before we lost Octavia.”

“I won’t replace her!”




We argued for a while after he brought up having another baby. This has been a fight we been having for the last 6 months. He wants another baby but I don’t. I want Octavia. If I could have one thing it would be to have Octavia back.

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