Show Yourself: Chapter 5 – Full Moon

I started out my day out just like any other day. Dad was missing from breakfast, Mom decided to let him sleep it. Both of my parents had been working extra hard this week, they both looked forwarded for today. It’s Wednesday and they both had the day both, they usually use this day off to spend time together.

During the summer, my parents made the older siblings take us to the park where we would spend most of the day at. I never understood why we had to leave the house for hours. They were gonna visit the spa or go out to eat or go dancing later on, but never got why they stayed at the house during the day. I figure they were doing boring adult stuff but once I got older, I figured out why. During the time we were at park or at school, my parents used this alone time to basically fuck like bunnies.

My parents didn’t really get to spend much alone time when I was a kid, my parents were usually tired of work and caring for us. I now understood why we were often kicked out of the house on Wednesdays. I can say that I don’t blame them. Sex is important, it’s Navox nature.

 

 

 

Mom gave us her usual marching orders for this day, however Mom told Janaya to have us home before sundown. Sometimes we didn’t have to come home before sundown. We would visit one of our relatives on the block. Mom’s tone was serious, we had to be home before sundown and she would be calling the house phone.

“Don’t worry Mom, I’ll have everyone home before. I know tonight is a full moon.”

“Alright. Sylar will be home all day, you guys can have lunch at Fraine’s house today.”

I cringed when I heard Janaya mention tonight would be a full moon. It’s why we had to be home before sundown. I hate when there’s a full moon! It’s when I freak into that freak monster and I will be stuck in that form until dawn. Not only would I look like a freakish monster but my moods are unpredictable. I could possible turn on my family, hurt them, I’m dangerous when I’m in that form. When I turn, I have to keep to myself in the tree house alone. It’s the only reason why my parents had a tree house built.

 

 

 

After breakfast, Janaya took us up the street to Cypress park. Janaya kept trying to rush us there. She was a bit more happy than usual. She had a no school day, but I knew there was more to it. When we got there, we saw Devon Sherwood. He’s the older brother of our sister Devi. Janaya has a crush on him and knew he would be there with our sister. But I was also happy when I saw Noelle at the park with her older brother Javon. She was playing hopscotch and squeal once she saw me.

“Come join me, Sunshine!”

I hated it when she calls me that. Apparently it’s my nickname from her cause I’m anything but sunshine and happiness. I smiled back and join her.

 

 

“How do I play this?”

“What? You never played hopscotch before?”

“No.. No one ever wants to play with me besides my brothers and sisters.”

“I played hopscotch all the time in BP. It’s so much fun!”

“So how do I play?”

“You throw this rock and whatever number it lands on, you can’t hop on it.”

 

 

 

I wasn’t so great at hopscotch at first. I kept hopping on the square that I was supposed to avoid. I was starting to get a bit more frustrated than my usual. Probably cause there will be a full moon tonight and I’m a bit more cranky.

“This game is stupid! Why would anyone play this dumb game!”

“Cause it’s fun, Sunshine! Trust me, you’ll like it.”

“Stop calling me Sunshine! It’s dumb like this game!”

“Cheer up, grumpy pants. Today is a pretty day!”

“Today is dumb!”

“Well if you’re gonna be a Mr. Grumpy Pants today then I think I’ll go home…”

“Wait.. no. I’m sorry! I’ll play your dumb game.”

 

 

 

I didn’t want Noelle to go home, but I didn’t want to play this game either. I couldn’t help but be moody today, I could see Noelle’s patience was wearing thin today. I got a sense that Noelle didn’t want to deal with my grumpiness today.

I was always a jerk at times, I wasn’t use to having someone wanting to play with me and be my friend. Noelle liked me but she had her limits. I knew I needed to stop being a jerk or she would stop being my friend. But deep down inside, I think I was trying to run her off before she realize what I’m really am. I don’t want her to ever see or know what happens to me during a full moon.

 

 

 

I was getting a hang of the game until Noelle tripped and fell onto the pavement. I wasn’t sure what to do. She was quiet with a blank expression on her face. I stepped closer to Noelle asking her if she was okay. She buried her face into her dirty palms and began to sob.

“Hey! Don’t cry! Are you hurt?”

Noelle said nothing but continued to sob. I was in panic mode, fearing that her brother would think that I hurt her.

 

 

 

 

“Stop crying or your brother is gonna beat me up! Please Noelle!”

Noelle ignored my plea as she continue to cry while rubbing her scrapped knee.

“Noelle, please! You’re gonna be okay. It’s not that bad. Do you need some help?”

Noelle nodded her head. I reached my hand out to her and she grabbed my hand, pulling herself up.

 

 

 

“You okay, right?”

“Yeah. I’m okay.. I really hurt my knee.”

“Can you walk?”

“I think so.”

I wasn’t sure what I was thinking but I found myself wiping tears away from Noelle’s cheek. She didn’t say anything to me. We had a moment of silence until her face broke out with a smile.

 

 

 

“O.M.G!”

“What?”

“That was the sweetest thing that anyone has done for me!”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“You like me!”

“Well yeah.”

“You do? You like-like me? Like a boyfriend?”

 

 

 

“What! NO! Not like a boyfriend!”

“You should be my boyfriend! I like you and you like me.”

“I like you but not like that!”

“Yes you do! You were gonna kiss me! That makes you my boyfriend!”

 

 

 

“I’m not your boyfriend!”

“Why not? You’ll make the perfect boyfriend!”

“No I won’t! I don’t wanna be anyone’s boyfriend!”

 

 

 

“Then you shouldn’t act like you wanted to kiss me if you don’t wanna be my boyfriend!”

“But I wasn’t trying to kiss you. I was trying to make you feel better.”

“Kissing me would make me feel better. I thought you wanted to be my boyfriend!”

 

 

 

“Well I’m a boy and your friend. Does that kinda make me your boyfriend?”

“No! You have to kiss me to be my real boyfriend.”

“But I don’t wanna kiss you.”

“Why not? I wanna kiss you.”

“I don’t know. Won’t it be gross? Sometimes I eat sand.”

“What? Why would you eat sand?!”

“I wanted to know why my cat eats it.”

“My cat poops in sand. So did it taste like poop? If so then I never wanna kiss you.”

“Uhhh… no?”

 

 

 

I didn’t want to have lunch at Fraine’s, instead I spent the rest of the day with Noelle. Since Noelle lives next door, Janaya thought it was okay for me to go with Noelle. She told me to come home at 7. I could tell time and kept a close eye on Noelle’s clock. I couldn’t risk her seeing the truth about me.

 

 

 

“My mom is making dinner. You should stay. She said it’s okay.”

“I can’t. I gotta go home at 7.”

“Please Raiden? My mom is making tacos tonight. My mom makes really good tacos.”

“I told you that I can’t.”

“Why?”

 

 

 

“Because I can’t! Why do you keep asking me?! If I said I can’t then I can’t! Get off of my back!”

“You don’t have to be a jerk!”

“You don’t have to be annoying!”

 

 

“I was just curious! But if you’re gonna be such a jerk then maybe you should go!”

“Maybe I will go and never come back!”

“What’s wrong with you?!”

“Nothing is wrong with me! Maybe it’s YOU!”

“Get out Raiden! Go home!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

 

 

I quickly left Noelle’s house just a little bit before 7. I was so angry at myself for snapping at Noelle at that. I knew for sure she wouldn’t be my friend anymore. I honestly don’t blame her. I was never that mean to her before, but it was getting closer to nightfall and moods are erratic.

 

 

 

I felt my body going through the change earlier than usual. Stress can force me into turning before nightfall. My fight with Noelle trigger my transformation before I could prepare for it.

 

 

 

I could feel my Navox essence converting over to wolf blood. It’s a painful process, I feel myself boiling from the inside and out. Being stuck in mid-transformation is pure agony, causing me to be temperamental and possibly dangerous.

 

 

I’m confine to the tree house until dawn for everyone’s safety. It’s lonely and depressing to spend the hours of the night along in a tree house. I’m in too much pain to sleep, not even my parents sleep. My parents can’t sleep knowing how much agony I’m going through.

They take turns checking on me periodically during the night. Mom usually stays up cooking all night, I will be extremely hungry once I return to my normal form. The tree house is filled with games, books and other stuff to keep my entertained. I’m in too much pain to do anything. I just curl up into a ball and wait it out until the sun rises.

 

 

I heard the fence being opened and didn’t think too much of it. I figure it just one of my siblings checking on me. However I heard a familiar voice. My heart dropped once I realize who it was.

“Sunshine! I know you’re up there!  You should come down and look at the full moon with me! It’s beautiful. Maybe you’ll stop being such a grumpy pants!”

I let out a low growl, I said nothing to Noelle. How did she know I was up here? Did one of my siblings told her? I couldn’t see them doing that. They knew wasn’t a good idea. I thought if I said nothing, then she think that I’m not up here.

 

 

“Oh come on, Sunshine! You can’t hide from me a know! You can pretend that you’re not in there but I know you are. Do I have to come up there and drag you? I will if I have to. I’m coming up!”

 

 

 

“Don’t! Don’t come up here!”

I growled, I couldn’t let her see me like this. She would never want to see me again if she knew the full truth about me. I’m not a full genie and Noelle like genies most of all.

“Okay. So why don’t you come down then. I love full moons and I wanna watch the moon with you.”

“You shouldn’t be here!”

“Why? Did something happen? Are you okay? I’m coming up.”

“No! Please Noelle. Don’t come up here. You should go. Please go!”

“Okay.. Now I’m worried. What’s wrong?”

“Noelle, please go home. You can’t see me.”

“Raiden.. I’m not going until you tell me what’s wrong. I wanna help you.”

“No! Go away Noelle! I never wanna see you again!”

“Raiden! Please come down. I can help you.”

“But you will hate me.”

“I could never hate you. Show yourself. Please.”

 

 

Noelle wasn’t going to leave. No matter how much I plead, Noelle refused to leave. I didn’t want Noelle to come up and see me in this form. However it was better for me to come to her than for her to come to me. She said she could never hate me. With my child mind, I believed her. I came down to show myself to her.

 

 

 

“This who I am. What I’m really am.”

“Raiden? Is-is-is that really you?”

“You hate me. I know you do. I hate myself too.”

 

 

“Wha-what happen to you? You-you look so different? Do all genies do this?”

 

 

 

“I didn’t want you to see my like this! I didn’t want you to know the truth! I know you hate me! I’m a freak! A freak monster! I’m not a real genie! Just half! My dad is a genie but my real mom is a wolf! I end up being half of both and this is what happens to me on a full moon! I turn into this freak monster! All of the kids don’t wanna be my friend because of this. I bet you really hate me! I’m a freak! I’m a freak and I wish I was dead!”

 

 

“I don’t think you’re a freak. I think you’re super cool! How cool is that to be both genie and wolf! I love werewolves too! I think they are pretty cool like genies! But I don’t hate you, Raiden. I just wish you told me this. You don’t have to hide. I like you for who you are! You’re not a freak monster, you’re awesome!”

 

 

 

“No I’m not! I’m just a freak! I can’t even be a real wolf! And I don’t wanna be a wolf! I hate wolves! I wanna be a genie and one day I will be a real genie and not a stupid wolf! Then I can have friends and not be a freak anymore!”

 

 

 

“It’s okay to be what you are. I still wanna be your friend.”

“But why? Look at me.”

“I think you’re cute still. You have pretty long hair, cool glowy eyes.”

“I don’t see why you still like me.. I was a jerk.”

“I know but my mom said it’s cause you like me and boys act like jerks cause they don’t know how to express their feelings. But it’s okay, Sunshine.”

“Why do you call me that?”

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray.”

 

 

 

“What are you trying to do?”

“Kiss you.”

“Stop! Don’t kiss me when I’m like this!”

“But you are your true self. Your perfect self.”

“Noelle..”

“Raiden.”

“You should go. It’s not safe. I don’t wanna hurt you. Just go!”

 

 

Noelle finally listened to reason. She could hear the worry and panic in my voice. Noelle didn’t leave until placing a quick smooch on my cheek before running off. I was confused, why would she kiss me in this form? Why wasn’t she afraid of me? Why did she call this form, my perfect self? I quickly climbed back up into the tree house.

I could feel my body growing with pain and rage. For the brief moment I was with Noelle, I felt no pain, no angst. But as Noelle attempted to kiss me, I could feel my body snapping into it’s reality. I fear that I would attack her, cause harm, possibly kill her. Thankfully Noelle listen to my plea before anything could happen.

This full moon wasn’t like any other, it was different, less depressing, less painful. Possibly it was because of her genuine words, accepting me in my disgusting form. I know it won’t be safe to have her around me during a full moon. I can’t always have her around me during this time. Hopefully just the thought of her would be enough to ease my pain.

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  2 comments for “Show Yourself: Chapter 5 – Full Moon

  1. November 3, 2015 at 6:31 PM

    Aww, Noelle is such a darling kiddo. I’m really glad Raid has a friend now, no kid should be alone.

    • thenay83
      November 3, 2015 at 6:36 PM

      Yeah no child should be friendless and even with that one friend it’s good. He won’t be so lonely. He does have a lot of siblings but sometimes they wanna go play with their own friends. Now he finally has his own to play with 🙂

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