I got Aries a little interested in some bartending. I felt like I should show him the ropes. I gave him a few pointers and gave him a list of drinks that he could practice on making. In a few weeks he’ll be attending school for it here in town. When I told him that I enrolled him into school, he had one of his overdramatic fits thinking the school was out of town and he’ll be far away from me. He calmed down when I told him the school was just across town.
I’m hoping one day he’ll be a independent adult who doesn’t need me. I got 2 little kids to raise and another one on the way, I don’t need a grown ass man child to add to my plate. I wish Pedro would deal with him too. He’s his kid too and it’s his damn fault why he is the way he is. All he does is stay in that damn basement. Pedro is the worst baby daddy ever. Hopefully when he start bartending, he’ll find a lady, marry her and then move out.
I hope this school helps cause he’s terrible.
“Daddy! That was nasty! Why do people need a drink with 5 different types of liquors in it! A simple rum and coke won’t do?”
I swear it’s only been a couple of days and I notice Orion’s hair dramatically grew fast. Actually I’m not sure if it was this long before. I brushed his hair away from his chubby cheeks and figure i should probably give him his first haircut. I never given any of my sons a hair cut. Usually someone else dealt with that but I guess it’s up to me then.
I gave Solar a new toy to play with while I get things ready for Orion’s haircut. She seems to like it alot. I don’t need to be distracted while I attempt to cut his hair. I had no idea that someone else had their eye on the toy as well.
“Mine! I take.”
“Shut up! It mine!”
“Stop cry baby. It mines! My toy!”
I heard Solar screaming back in the baby room. “What now?” I sighed. I made my way back to the room to find Solar unhappy and Kimora playing with her toy with a evil grin on her face. I’m thinking Kimora must of taken her toy away or she set it down and Kimora got to it before she did. I dunno what happen but I wanted her to stop crying.
“What’s wrong? You know daddy doesn’t like the sound of your annoying alien crying voice. You want another toy to with?”
“Nuh nuh! Toy! Waaaaahhh!”
“But Kimora is playing with it now.”
“I can give you another one.”
“Nuh nuh! Toy!”
“You gotta play with another toy.”
“What can I give you to make you happy? You wanna a amaretto sour?”
“Nuh nuh! Nuh nuh!”
“Fuzzy navel? A appletini? A Manhattan? Shit kid, what is it? Those drink usually make girls happy.?
“Yeah.. I dunno that drink.”
“My toy. I take.”
“Did you take Solar’s toy?”
“Don’t ya wanna give it back?”
“But she’s sad.”
“Please give her toy back.”
“No! You take hike daddy!”
“L2, I got a problem.”
“Yeah, I know..”
“Don’t be a smart ass.”
“What’s the issue?”
“Kimora is evil.”
“Seriously dad? She’s only 3, how can a 3 year old be evil?”
” She took Solar’s toy and won’t give it back. What do I do?”
“Make her give it back.”
“I told her to and she said no and told me to take a hike.”
“Dad, you can’t be this clueless about parenting.. I think it’s time for Kimora to be put in time out for her actions.”
“Time out? I don’t wanna be the asshole who puts her in time out. She’ll hate me. You do that. I don’t care if she thinks you’re the asshole and hates you. I wanna be the good guy.”
“Dad, you have to punish kids when they are doing wrong. Kimora will be mad but she won’t hate you.”
“I still think you should do it. I never punish a kid for anything.”
“Well there’s a first time for everything.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Of course, no one likes to punish a child unless they are a sick person.”
“So I gotta do it?”
“Yeah dad. You can do it. It’s not that hard.”
“If she hates me then you and I are gonna have problems.”
“Yeah yeah. You have no problem threatening your adult kids but can’t punish the little ones?”
“Cause I can piss you off and not have to worried if spaghetti would be thrown at me.”
I told Kimora she had to go to time out and she didn’t like that too much. I knew she was gonna hate me if I was the one who punishes her.
“No! I don’t wanna!”
“But you did a bad thing so you gotta. Your evil uncle said so.”
“No! No! I hate you!”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do! I don’t wanna go time out!”
“I’m sorry but you’re a evil kid.”
Kimora cried for a while as she sat in time out but soon she stopped. After her time up was I had her to tell Solar she was sorry and she was all good again. How can she go from hating me and suddenly my best friend again in 5 minutes? Kids are strange.
I got Orion set up for a haircut but I had no idea what I was doing. I tried to google on how to give a toddler a haircut but I forgot to pay my internet bill. So I’m screwed.
“Damn it Orion! Sit down so I can figure how I’m gonna chop off that mop without making you look like a tool. I never cut a baby’s hair so you need to stop your fairy shit. Daddy needs to think.”
“Yeah yeah, bah. Sit boy, sit. You brats need to learn words.”
I slowly approached Orion with a idea in my head. I think I can do it without fucking it up. I just need to him to be still but he likes to randomly start flying around. He doesn’t know how to walk but yet he can fly. I will admit about being a little nervous on doing this. I didn’t want to cut his ear or nick his wings. Why couldn’t I have a lady to deal with this.
“I can do this… For I am a man.”
After a few sips and clips, I think I did a awesome job on his hair. My kid is looking so pimp.
“All the little girls are gonna want a piece of you now I got you lookin’ so fresh and so clean. But don’t let any hags get a piece of you. You save your awesomeness for the 10s. Don’t disappoint me like your brother L2. Got me?”
“That’s my boy!”