I heard the front door open, for a moment I thought that alien came back so I grabbed Orion but then I thought… that bitch doesn’t use doors. It was Boragio and Aries, they came from back fireman training in Twinbrook. They wanted to be firemen ever since they were boys. I guess things didn’t so well with them during their training. Aries fainted on the sight of fire and Boragio just has some problems. They figure they will try again later but I’m just happy they are back home. They can help with these brats of mine.
“You’re cool with Aries and I moving back in if were are jobless? I was hoping the fireman thing would work out but it didn’t. Maybe sometime later?”
“I guess it’s okay. You got a new little brother and sister. I got another baby on the way.”
“I guess. You plan on finding a job soon?”
“I figure, Morde was telling me there’s a opening at the gym he works at and Aries is thinking of working at the art gallery.”
“I swear your brother lives at the gym, I never see him. L2 is stuck with Morde’s girl. We need help with all these kids.”
“Oh well I’m gonna see about getting a job as soon as possible. I don’t wanna be a useless bum on the couch.”
“Daddy! I need hugs!”
“Hey Aries. Sorry about the fireman thing.”
“It’s okay daddy, I wanna be a painter.”
“A painter? Like in painting houses?”
“No daddy! Paint paintings and murals. I wanna be a artist daddy.”
“Oh.. You’ll starve.”
“I have genie magic.”
“Well.. how are you gonna live? You’ll tap out on your inheritance quick.”
“It’s okay, daddy. I can stay with you forever!”
“You don’t want me to stay with you daddy forever, daddy?”
“Don’t you wanna live your own life?”
“I like living with you daddy.”
“I know but I kinda like it when you kids leave. You can’t possibly stay with me forever. You kids gotta live your own lives.”
“But daddy I wanna stay with you.”
“How about you bartend when my club opens?”
“I don’t know how to daddy.”
“I can teach and enroll you into a bartending school in town. You’ll still see me.”
“I wanted to be a artist.”
“You can still be one, for fun.”
“I guess. I can have ladies nude for me.”
“Ladies will get naked if you paint?”
“You gotta teach me how to paint.”
“Daddy? What’s wrong with Sassy? I think Sassy wants to kill me…”
“Daddy! Daddy! Help! Sassy is trying to kill me! Help me Daddy! Help!”
“C’mere Sassy. She’s not trying to hurt you, Aries. You’re being over dramatic. She wouldn’t hurt a fly. Would you, baby girl?”
“Daddy! That cat is evil! She always chases me! Sassy is trying to kill me, daddy. Keep her away!”
“Aries, Sassy isn’t trying to kill you. Plus you can’t die anyway. Aries is being a big ol’ bully to you, isn’t he?”
“Bully? Bully?! Me the bully?! SHE’S the bully daddy! Why won’t you believe me! That cat is the spawn of Satan! I need hugs now, daddy!”
L2 thought it would be nice if we all went to the new italian restaurant, Pietra Di Sambuco then opened up not too far from here since Boragio and Aries are home. Aries loves italian food and figure this would help him cope with his failure to be a fireman. I am in the mood for some good lasagna. I don’t think we ever done anything like this before but I figure it’s by time we do.
“Pietra Di Sambuco just opened up, it’s not far. We should go, I can get the girls ready in a bit.”
“We taking the little ones too?”
“Well yeah.. It’s a family dinner and your alien babies are family. You just can’t just leave them alone.”
“I know but I was thinking of calling a babysitter.”
“They might cry so they can do their crying here… away from me.”
“Dad! They need to be apart this, were taking Kimora too.”
“We taking 3 babies? We’re gonna get kicked out. Like when those twins cry, it’s annoying. Their cries sound like Dubstep. Terrible.”
“Dad, we are taking Orion and Solar and not leaving them with a babysitter. Pietra Di Sambuco has kid friend foods. They’ll be fine. Trust me.”
“Want out! Want out!”
It will be fun he said. The babies won’t cry he said.
They weren’t happy with the coloring books of their sippy cups. Kimora was the first to throw a fit since she’s no fan of the highchair and wants to sit in a big chair. My twins joined Kimora with their annoying screams and cries. We tried to ordered some food as fast as possible. I order spaghetti for my twin brats and hoping that would make them happy. I’m really not sure what to feed those alien brats. Not sure if spaghetti was okay. I know my kids with Pedro can’t have spicy food but what can these not eat? Their bitch mother didn’t bother telling me.
There were moments of silence from the terror tots. They were happy once they got their bowls of spaghetti and ate it like they never seen food before.
“Daddy B, you gotta try these calzones next time. This food is amazing. How come we haven’t been here sooner?”
“Your dad found this place and this right here, it’s pretty good.”
“We should come here once a week. This is fun!”
“Maybe but we are leaving those terror tots at home next time.”
“Want out! Want out! WAAAHHH! Want out now!”
“The babies won’t stop crying! Why isn’t anyone doing anything?”
“Not my kids, not my problem. Remind me to never have kids.”
“They are just showing out. Ignore them and they’ll stop showing their asses. I told L2 we should’ve left them at home with a old lady to watch them.”
“Show off. Stop that mess Orion. You’re a boy and not a girl, man up. How you gonna impress ladies if you’re a cry baby?”
“Dad… Orion is just a baby. He can’t “man up” or “impress” ladies when he’s still in diapers. Orion needs something and you need to attend to it. I handle Kimora.”
Sighs “But I’m eating and I don’t want my food to get cold. Can you handle my twins too? I can’t leave my lagana. It needs me.”
“Dad, your kids need you. You can take the food home and warm it up later. The crying is bothering everyone.”
“But then my food won’t be fresh. And what people? What people we are bothering? The people standing outside in the snow? Were bothering those people? They can’t find the door!”
Where’s the door?
“Fine.. I’ll handle the kids since you won’t. You’re handling the bill though.”
I grabbed Orion and went to go pay our bill. The lady at the counter was a pretty sexy middle aged lady. I wouldn’t mind tapping that. I wonder if my sexy would get me a discount but I notice how she was eyeing my kid. It’s like she was trying to figure what he is. I never thought about how people will give my twins strange looks since they are different. How many alien fairies you’ll see walking around?
“You don’t mind me asking but what is he?”
“A alien..fairy…genie.. Something. I really don’t know what to call him but he has my awesome.”
“I see. Your little toddlers has caused a uproar in my restaurant. I’m sure it wasn’t my food. First time father?”
“No.. I’m a professional dad, I got a lot of kids.”
“Hmm… I see.”
“So what’s the damage?”
“Your bill or my ear drums?”
“My bill, lady.”
“56.64 is your total. And until you can handle your children, I think it’s best that you and your family doesn’t return to my restaurant.”
“Are you serious?”
“Like a heart attack.”
“Please lady.. My kids love it here. I’m sorry about my little ones. I’ll leave them at home next time.”
“I am sorry sir, but you can’t seem to handle your children. This is suppose to be a nice family style restaurant where families can enjoy themselves and not have to listen to screaming rugrats.”
“Please ms lady. I am sorry, I’ll even pay extra. Your food is good and my older kids love this place. We never had family outings like this. Is there anything I can do to make it up? I’ll do anything. Please?”
“Anything you say?”
“Yeah…. Anything. Anything that’s isn’t crazy like being your baby daddy. I don’t want anymore kids.”
“Right, the last you need is more kids since you handle those kids so well. Plus a woman my age is too old to bare anymore children. I have a daughter, she’s new in town. We are originally from Monte Vista. She moved here 3 months ago and is pretty new to the city. Since you’re a handsome guy and your son is cute, perhaps you can show her around the city. Take her on a nice date, she just gotten out of a bad relationship. She could use a new friend.”
“Umm.. well okay. I guess I could take your daughter on a date. Is she hot?”
When we got home my 2 were still upset and were throwing fits. I was near my wits end with them. They got me a blind date with possibly a hag with boyfriend baggage and now they won’t stop crying. I put them in their room only for them to follow me out while still crying. L2 made a passing comment saying they need my attention. How would he know? He told me that Pedro said my twins are Novary aliens and they seek attention from the parent who gave birth from them. They needed to form a bond with the birth parent things get bad. They’ll signal the other parent to return if they are ignored too long. I asked what were the bad things that would happen and he said it’s best that I didn’t know. With that said, I guess I could give them my attention.
Solar likes playing with her doll house. I guess I could join her. I’m not sure how to play with babies. I never had in the past so I guess I could start now.
“Let’s see.. How does daddy play with you? Can I be him?”
“Was that yes?”
“Um..sure. I need to teach you how to talk. Anyway this guy doll, it’s me. Daddy. Can daddy meet a sexy lady?”
“Okay. “Hey lady, do you and your friend need a ride? My dick can have 2 passengers.” Oh yes big sexy daddy love. Me and my friend wanna ride on the dick.” “Okay let me whip it out.” “Oh my god! Your dick is so big. I’m first.” “No I’m first.” “No need to fight over me ladies, you both get a turn.” Solar, who gets to ride daddy first?”
“No Solar, that’s a boy doll and daddy doesn’t swing that way but your uncle Pedro does.”
“No! He can’t ride the dick. Pick a girl doll.”
“Bah ride dick!”
“Bah isn’t going to dick ride, Solar. Fine I pick this lady, she rides first then the other one.”
“No Bah is going into the closet to rub one off while these 2 ladies ride daddy.”
Solar was happy but I needed to turn my attention to Orion, the one who I need to watch more since his mama is after him. I heard noises near the window and quickly picked Orion up and notice how mess he was from the spaghetti.
I gave Orion a bubble bath. He likes the apple scented bubbles and Solar likes the bubblegum scent. I never notice now much Orion looks like me. Orion stopped splashing around and looked at me, that’s when I know. He look like me. A smile grew quickly across his face and I smiled back. He reaches out like he wanted to grab my nose. I let him with his bubble foam covered hand, then he grabs his own and said, “Daddy. You are daddy.” I paused for a second, not only did he say his first word but his first sentence. Was this the bond that L2 was talking about. Did he find the bond. He knows me as his dad now. I just needed to give him a bath and it’s done? I wasn’t sure, stared at him with his little smile as he grabbed for my nose again. “Daddy.” Orion said again. My heart melt and I gave him a little kiss on his forehead. “Daddy, I pee.” I looked down to see Orion is making a lemonade bath. I quickly took him out and magic cleaned him. Cute kid but nasty.
Solar needed a changing but it’s been some years since I last changed a diaper. My skills are little rusty and I think I can do this.
“Daddy hasn’t done this in a while. Whatever you do, don’t pee on daddy. Okay?”
“Okay.. So what the hell do I do now? Do I add power than wipe? Nah.. that wouldn’t make sense. Okay I wipe then power! Yeah! …Okay I got you wiped and powdered but how the hell do I put on this diaper? …..Shit. It’s backwards.”
“Stop laughing at daddy, he’s trying. You just wait until you have babies when you are 68 years old.”
Even after cleaning them, they were still unhappy and crying. I guess they needed more of my attention but I wasn’t sure what to do next… Their bed time wasn’t until another 2 hours from now. What else could I do?
I felt like dancing. I turned my stereo and sat them on the couch. I remember when my first 4 kids were little, they loved watching me dance.
“You can’t ruin my mood little buzz kills!”
Kids like watching me dance cause I’m just so awesome like that. Plus I needed to teach them awesome dance moves so they won’t look ridiculous doing the beginner sim dance in a towel.
“Take notes kids, so you won’t look ridiculous like that guy.”
“Daddy’s so fresh, daddy’s so fly. When ladies see him they go “Oh my my my. Ladies wanna ride on the magic dick. Get in line for the ride. I’ll let you skip if you’re fine.“
“Daddy should be a singer. I’m lyrical and shit.”
It was there bedtime and I tried to put them to bed but they kept flying out of their cribs and following me. Little winged jerk, go to bed. I heard another sound near the window. I swore I saw a little glimpse of Ahilac’s wings passed the window. I wasn’t taking any chances and took them with me in my room.
They crawling around on the bed for a little bit. I relaxed a bit before Orion crawled up on my chest while Solar nested next to me. I draped my arm across Solar and pulled her close to me. She snuggle in my embrace as she slowly rests her head on my chest. It was long before jumped on the bed and curled up near Solar. Orion laid on my chest and begin to suck on him thumb. It wasn’t long before both tots drifted off to sleep. I never seen them fall asleep so fast. I tried to get settle since there’s no way I could move without waking them I started to be comfortable before I fell asleep. I felt at ease with the twins near me. I think they’ll stay in here, that way I know they’ll be protected from their strange mom trying to take them. I know she’s waiting for the right moment. But these are my babies and she can go fuck off. I slept in peace knowing it’s just me and mine.