It’s been a few days since my family left. It’s been kinda lonely since then. I never really lived alone in my life. Growing up I was raised in a house surrounded by family. My dysfunction drunk family. If you saw how many were in the house at once you would think I would feel over crowded.
But actually I did like living for a bunch of people. There was always someone to talk to. I know some of my siblings got on my nerves but it is better than living alone. I talk to my sister Erica online a lot. Right now she’s settling in with her twin, Dodder in Moonlight Falls. I guess it would be nice to live with your twin. I rarely seen Erica and Dodder apart. It would be nice to be close like that. Well dumb ass and I are somewhat close. Were just not as close as Erica and Dodder.
Sometimes I wonder will I be alone forever? I don’t want to have babies nor ever get married. I see how Borage has a million kids but I can’t do it. I like to party and be kid free. I don’t see why dumb ass won’t just wrap it up for once. He only like half of his kids. He need to stop making so many if he can’t like to all. I don’t wanna be alone but if I plan to never have kids or marry I will be. I never felt so lonely in my life. How am I going to cope with this? I am ready start my goal to fuck 1000 men. When I’m getting freaky with a sexy guy, I’ll have company but later he will leave. Then I’ll be alone again. Forever alone…
Borage was one of the few who started to live alone.. I thought he was crazy for branching out on his own but now he’s surrounded by family. I’m not sure what do to now. If I stick to my vows then I need cope living alone. I think I’ll be fine. I have my butler at least. He’s kinda cute. I wonder if he relaxes her hair cause I know he ain’t got good hair.
I’m so alone that I started to talk to a mirror that talks back. Am I going crazy?
“Hey Zordon! You should make me into a power ranger. I wanna fight putties and fuck Lord Zedd cause he sounds like he needs to get laid more often. He’s hella ugly though but that’s what vodka for. Love is a bottle away ya know.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Bitch I ain’t Zordon!”
“Zordon? Where did you go? You didn’t make me into a power ranger yet.”
“I was happy to learn I would be working in the Vanderburg house once again but this dumb heffa bought this house. She turned this damn house into a berry rainbowcy. I look like a damn fool cooking on this pink stove. I better no sweat off my lace front in hot ass kitchen. She must not know.”
My butler Bryce is a pretty good cook. I know being a genie I would have no need for a butler but I’m rich! Most rich people have one and most of my family don’t cause some of us are genies. It would be nice if Bryce joined me for dinner for once. It’s so lonely.
At least I have my little rubber duckie. He’s so cute and yellow.
“Where you going duckie? Are trying to get a peek at my vag you little yellow nasty!”
I asked Bryce if he would give me a massage. It’s been a while since I last felt the touch from a man. The last was my ex boyfriend Jamal. He was a good man but shit went down quick. He wanted love but I couldn’t give it to him. He wanted to wait after marriage before having sex but who still does that shit? I wasn’t willing to wait and he ended things. He said I wasn’t ready to be with a real man but I’m like whatever. A real man wouldn’t hold back with me. I’m sexy, how can he not wanna do it me now? Sometimes I think he was really gay or something. However I do miss him. I guess it’s better this way. I could never marry.. It’s not in my blood to be ..faithful.
“Mmm Bryce.. This feels so nice. How did you get so good at this? I should ask you do this more often… And maybe more. What do you say?”
“I took a few massage classes. But if you’re offering something else I must decline. Let’s keep our relationship professional, Miss. Montigo.”
“I’ll get ya some day, just wait. You have needs ya know.”
“My GPS said the house is way. They said to look for a the big pink house on Lake Drive. I hope this is right.”
“Big pink house. I do believe I found it. I swear this could be my mother’s house. I wonder if this dancer is a berry.”
“Oh I’m so nervous about meeting the dancer! What if she thinks that I’m dork? What if she doesn’t have the time for me? Oh no! What should I do now? I’ve came this far…”
“Get it together Clark. You can do this. It’s just a dancer. If you wanna learn how to tango dance, you gotta man up and meet this dance teacher. I wonder if she’s large breasted, full hipped woman who craves a spanking. What the what?! I need to get those awful thoughts out of my head. Focus Clark! Focus! Look at me.. I’m standing out here talking to myself like my sister Carrie. Have I gone mad? I think soon I’ll have voices in my head too.”
“Oh but I’m so nervous!”
“Hello, I was wondering if this is the house of the dancer. I’m new in town and I require your services.”
“I didn’t know that anyone knew about this but yeah I’m the dancer.”
“That’s great, I found the right house. Do you crave a spanking?”
“Nothing! Are you available now or do I have to set up appointment? I’m sorry to drop by like this.”
“No it’s fine, just come right in. I’ll get ready.”
I got dressed for this random pink haired guy who shown up at my house. I had my strip room built and it was ready for action. I wasn’t nervous at all. Stripping come natural for me. It’s in my blood. I got it from my mama. I know this guy is gonna enjoin the show.
I tried to remember all the moves that my mama shown me. I wonder how much money he’s gonna toss at me. He looks like he has some money on him.
“They didn’t say she was this kind of dancer. But I am liking the show. I know she craves a spanking.”
“She doesn’t seem like the type of female who would be offended by the boner growing in my pants. I’ll cross my legs just to be safe. There’s something familiar about this girl.. It’s like I’ve seen her before.”
“So did you like the little show I’ve done for you?”
“Well yes, I did enjoy the show but I didn’t know you were this kind of dancer. I thought you were the tango dance teacher.”
“That was Mrs. Vanderburg but they moved away. I’m a exotic dancer. I can still teach you to tango.. Maybe my bed would be a better studio.”
“Maybe so.. But ms lady, you hardly know me and you’re coming on to me. I don’t even know your name. I’m Clark Queen. What’s your name?”
“Celsia Montigo. You know my name, let’s fuck.”
“MONTIGO?! YOU WOULDN’T HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY RELATION TO ZINNIA OR ROSETTE MONTIGO BY CHANCE? PLEASE TELL ME THAT LIAM GELMAN ISN’T YOUR FATHER!”
“My mama is Zinnia and yeah that asshole is my dad. Why?”
“OH LAWD! WERE HALF SIBLINGS! I SHOULD OF KNOWN.. THE PINK HAIR! THE POINTY EARS! WE HAVE THE SAME BLUE EYES!”
“Wait.. You’re my half brother? I just did a strip tease and came on to my brother? Oh gross! I notice how you kinda look like that asshole.. I’m acting like Rosette now.”
“I’m afraid so…”
“Why didn’t you tell me that you were one of asshole’s kids?”
“I had no idea you are my sister.”
“I don’t care. What if we fucked? I don’t wanna be a brother-fucker.”
“Um.. can we talk about this after you put some clothes on?”
“It’s too late. You already seen my everything. You got a boner did you? You nasty!”
I got dressed and asked to meet Clark in my living room. It was a little awkward at first but we can pretend that this never happen.
“So what are you doing here in Hidden Springs, Clark?”
“I just moved here and want to start a life here I guess. How long have you been here. I only been here for a few days. I can tell it’s a nice little town.”
“It’s nice, I’ve been here for a few weeks. How is your place? Like it?”
“Actually no, Celsia. I was under the impression that it would be ready but the place is a mess. There’s a lot of work that needs to be done before I can live there comfortably.”
“That’s lame.. How bad is it?”
“A homeless man wouldn’t dare stay there.”
“Well.. wanna move in here with me? I got lots of more. We can be roomies.”
“That would be nice but are you as crazy as your aunt?”
“Nah.. Rosette has some major issues. I think it would be fun if you stay here.”
“Your place is nicer than mine. I’ll go get my things in the morning.”
“Cool but if you’re gonna stay here then we gotta go some keg stands.”
“Chug! Chug! Chug!”
“I am! I am a professional! I’m a Montigo after all. This is what we do!”
We had dinner together. It was kinda nice having someone join me for some din din. We chatted a bit and got to know each other. He told me about the crazy nanny who almost shot my aunt. I kinda wished that she did.
After dinner we played some ping pong on my new table. It’s good having someone to defeat at ping pong.
“IN YO’ FACE MUTHAFUCCA! IN YO’ FACE!”
“Yeah yeah.. I’ll getcha next time. You got lucky.”
“I’m getting a little sleepy. Do you have a room for me to have?”
“Well yeah since it’s just me here. I can have Bryce set you up a room for you to stay in.”
“Thanks, that would be nice. I’ll be up bright and early so I can move in my things. It’s not much so I won’t be taking up much room. Thanks again for allowing me to stay here.”
I climbed into bed after Clark was settled for the night. As awkward as my meeting with Clark, I’m kinda glad that it happen. At least I wouldn’t be alone anymore.
I smelt something good being cooked in the kitchen. I thought it was Bryce cooking but it was some random ass ghost frying up some bacon.
“Who the hell are you? I hope you plan on replacing my bacon, asshole. You’ll dead so why you felt the need to cook up my food? CLARK! get in here. You need to see this shit.”
“What’s going on, Celsia?”
“This mother fucker cooking bacon in my kitchen like he lives here. Go beat him up since you’re my brother.”
“OH LAWD! A GHOST COOKING BACON! YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU HAD A GHOST!”
“Clark? Get yo’ ass up. The ghost is gone. You’re being over dramatic. I think it’s time I give you a ass name. Borage, my twin is dumb ass, Dodder, my little brother is thieving ass, dad is asshole and I guess you will be dramatic ass.”
I wanted to talk to this ghost and see who the hell is he. At least he washed his dish when he was done.
“Who the fuck are you?”
“I am Gregor. I once lived in this house a long time ago.”
“Okay well you can’t come in here cooking my bacon unless you sharing with me.”
“I am sorry. Maybe if you dance for me. I will share.”
“Dance for you? Hell nah you dead asshole. You gonna pay for the bacon.”
And like that, the asshole took off without paying for the bacon. I’m gonna get that asshole next time.. Comin’ in my house, cooking food and ain’t sharing. Bitch.
Note: Clark is from Quest For Immortality by jbfairybird He’s a triplet along with Carrie and Devon Queen. I liked Clark so I adopted him. Since Carrie is already adopted by MewmewMentor and is in Queens of Crime, she’ll make cameo appearances since Clark is her full sibling. I figure Devon will make appearances as well.