Hey hey hey! It’s me Celsia Montigo. I know a bunch of y’all been reading Borage’s story but I’ll tell ya this. MY story is much better than his! I keep it real and I’m not a dumb ass like stupid over there!
So my dumb ass twin thinks he can be the only playa in this family? I think not! I’m about to show this fool how you do it. He thinks he can bang 1000 ladies cause he wanna be some big playa like dad. Negro please! I think I can get to my goal before he does. But it looks like he got some issues going on right. I’m so gonna win this!
This be my house! Nice ain’t it? Being a Montigo is fabulous. Were so big money! My grandpa got me this house when I told him that I wanted to live in Hidden Springs. I think I might be his favorite cause this house is hella nice for real! You gotta see this shit but I’ll show ya later. Borage had to buy his own house but I didn’t Na na na boo boo! You suck!
Like my twin. I’m a genie too! Who needs a maid or butler when you got genie powers? I still want one. It’s gonna be lonely living in this big house by myself.
My days are pretty simple. I start out each day with a glass of vodka and grape soda.
This town seems a bit bland but I have big plans for this bougie town. I’m a Montigo and I’m gonna show this town how to live like a Montigo. I don’t want them getting jealous of my Montigo fabulousness. I guess I should tell you a little bit about my past before I got here. You all know about Borage so much. You got to know me too and see I’m better.
This is me being held by asshole aka dad.
My mama carried Borage. Lame! She should of carried me. I’m the better twin but I think mama favorite him more.
Here’s me and dumb ass Borage. How cute, we were wearing matching sailor suits. Why couldn’t mama drown Borage in the ocean instead.
Mama always spent more time with Borage when she was sober than me! What makes him so special? Oh it’s cause he looked like our asshole dad more. I guess but she should of still paid me more attention too.
“Cece is dumb dumb.”
Borage and I had 3 sister-cousins cause dad is a nasty ho daddy. He fucked my aunt Rosette too. He is so gross. He be gettin’ in the fam cause he nasty like that.
Speaking of asshole, I don’t think he ever been to any of m birthdays? What a asshole!
The only dad I did know was my step dad Max. He was always around, playing with us and teaching us to make really strong drinks where you don’t even need roofies.
We might of not been his kids but he treated us like we were his. Even if he’s stupid dumb ass most of the time. He’s more of a dad to me than asshole.
My mom told me not to give him such a hard time. He tried to be around more. She said he was the one who taught me how to walk. I still don’t care really.
I came from a party house and all we did was party. This is totally a normal thing. I’m gonna have so many underwear parties in my new house. I can’t wait!
My childhood was okay I guess. I had lots of toys to play with and stuff. Most of the time I was sampling Max’s new drinks that he makes. I learned to love vodka and grape soda when I was 8 years old.
My sister-cousins got to see dad more than Borage and I. I guess he liked them better.
I never understood this wall. It was called the party wall. I guess it was a Montigo thing to party by a wall.
The teen years were fun. We got to cause so much chaos in the streets but my family didn’t care. They were always drunk and passed out somewhere.
All we ever ate was cake cause everyone was too lazy to cook real food. We did keep in shape by running from the police.
We made it to our adult years without dying! That’s a big deal where I come from.
And here’s my family. My parents and my twin. My parents did have another set of twins but I never met them. We look like a happy and loving family right?
Yeah right! This is the reality of my family.
“Ugh I just wanna punch you in the face.”
“You live by a lake now, right? Find your way to it and drown.”
Some of you all know the famous ho daddy Liam Gelman from Twinbrook. I wanna punch him in his goofy face. I say he’s a ho daddy cause he keep makin’ dem babies all over the world without care of how we gonna be like. He made some many damn babies. I can’t keep count of them. He fucks anything that has 2 legs and tits. I hope he gets probed by aliens for being a ho daddy. Quit makin’ dem bay bays!
I don’t even call him dad cause he’s not much of a dad to me. I call him asshole. It suits him well. I was born Celsia Nicole Montigo-Gelman but I dropped the Gelman from my name. Why should I carry his name when he was never around? Borage is so proud, he kept his dumb ass name. Max didn’t want any kids mama had that wasn’t his to carry his name. Mama wanted us to know that we were a part of “dad”. I want no part of him.
He wants to make it up to me for not being around so much. But it’s a little too late. I don’t need you in my life.
I love my mama even if she favors Borage. I have hope she’ll favor me too one day. I want to be like mama. I got her beauty and all. I want to make mama proud of me.
Mama and my aunt were the top strippers in Starlight Shores before they quit and moved to Riverview to raise us. I’m gonna mama proud by carrying her stripper legacy. I’m gonna be a world famous stripper! My name is be known! Since I’m a genie and I be sparkling and shit. My stage name will be, Glitter Juice. That’s hot!
Do I really have to say something about dumb ass other than he’s a dumb ass? Yes he’s my twin. You know by now.
I might not like him, I may hate him a little but he’s still my twin buddy. I do care about him even he’s a dumb ass. I’m kinda disappointed that he’s talking about dropping his playa status to marry some girl when his dumb ass is already married to a cray cray alien lady. How am I’m gonna compete with him if he quits? I hope this girl is worth it. I wish him and her the best. But I’m upset that he’s trynna quit. We Montigos! We don’t quit! But he found love. I guess it’s a good reason. I hope it last, dummy.
I have a handful of siblings on my mama’s side. She don’t have so much as asshole does. She ain’t trynna be a ho mama like asshole. The sister that I’m closest is to Erica. She’s a genie like me. Erica keeps it hood and that’s what I love about her. She might have a thousand different personalities but she’s still my ride or die bitch! She mention how she thought my dad was hot. I wanted to slap her for that comment. She dropped off the face of the earth for a while. I wonder what’s she up to. She better not trynna be another baby mama of my ho of dad. I don’t need any nephew-brothers or niece-sisters. It’s bad enough that I have sister-brother-cousins.
This is my youngest sister Fiona. I don’t know why she thinks Borage is so cool. She wants to be a DJ like him. I guess but she should join me and carrying our mama’s stripper legacy. I’ll support whatever Fifi wants to do. She’s a good kid.
She does carrying on the legacy of trolling Uncle Finn.
If I’m going to be a famous stripper then I need to find a club but Hidden Springs is so bougie and doesn’t have one. I guess I’ll be building my own strip club. I think I’ll build on in my house. I like this room. It’s pink. It’s perfect. I’ll name my club Pink Pussy! This is gonna make the men come! Getting my goal of 1000 men is gonna be easy like my ho daddy.
My aunt liked my idea and wanted to stay for a while. I guess having her around for a little bit would be cool. Maybe she can give me some tips.
“Cece, how often does your daddy come visit you? I wanna see my boo lova as much as possible.”
I know how Borage got 18 kids so far in his journey but I’m not gonna be stupid like him. I hate kids. They are so annoying! I’m gonna protect my eggs from turning into babies.
I think drinking a lot of rum and coke will kill my eggs. That’s how I’m going to protect myself from babies. All that sperm is gonna be so sad when they see I ain’t got no eggs! Borage said rum kills eggs, and my cousin Regret said the same thing. That’s why she won’t drink rum cause she wants her eggs but she said aliens are trying to steal them. She’s stupid!
I can’t wait til I start my journeys It’s gonna be so fun. I’m not gonna end up having rapist aliens in my house like dumb ass and falling in love. I’m gonna stick to my goals, whatever it takes. I’m gonna hit that stupid fish with this rock. Stupid fish swimming all up in my lake. You didn’t pay for this shit, you scaly bastards!
I’m glad that I picked this place to live. It’s so pretty here. I should greet my neighbors and let them know about me.
“Hi new neighbors! I’m Celsia Montigo! Oh don’t act like you never seen a naked woman before!“
“I can get use to this. HEY! I see you checking out my nice body. I know you want a piece of this hot coochie! Wait come back!”
“Oh shit I gotta pee like right now. I guess I can do it right here. No one would know. But this is about to be my lake anyway. I’m marking it! Fall back bitches!”