Love For The Ladies: Chapter 26, Bonding Ain’t Easy

Chapter 26: Bonding Ain’t Easy

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After I got my dad settle in, I introduce him to all of his grandkids. He had  interest in alien ones, especially the 2 youngest. There’s nothing special about them. They are just little evil green creatures. I swear Nova is just a little brat. She likes Liam.2 a lot. He always attending to her when he isn’t doing his nerd stuff. I hope by my dad’s visit that Liam.2 will stop that nerd shit. It’s getting on my nerves. He’s suppose to be out learning on how to be a ladies man. Not trying to get into college. School is lame, he should know that. Dad and I will whip this boy in shape. He have to carry on this legacy of ladies men. It’s his birthright.

 

 

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“Nova, I got you some food. It’s your favorite! I know you’re gonna like it, cutie.”

 

 

 

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“No!”

“Nova! You’re making a mess! I got to clean this up quick!”

 

 

 

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“Hey dog face, remember that boy in your history class that you’re crushing on?”

“Yeah hag, what about him? Does he like me back?”

“Yeah right! Like he would like some nappy headed hoochie like you, PC!”

“Shut up Bora Whorea! Like he would like some freak alien hybrid like you!”

 

 

 

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“Well he does like me! He asked me on a date for tomorrow and I’m gonna go. Take that nap trap!”

“You probably used your jedi mind trick on him! That’s not fair Bora Whorea!”

“I did not! Actually he found me much prettier than you! Maybe you should slap a relaxer on that nappy mess on your head! Then maybe he would of liked you!”

“Get out of my face ..you whore!”

“Fine, slut!”

“Yo mama! Oh wait.. YOU don’t HAVE one! Your other parent is a MAN!”

“My Suziu is alien so go fuck off!”

 

 

 

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I hate that Mimi have to be in a wheelchair. She’s suppose to be out running around and playing like other kid. After many doctor visits, things with Mimi seems fine. She didn’t have any serve brain damage like they said she would but they do expect a slight change in her personality. Something in her brain scans didn’t seem right. I think the doctors are full of shit. I see nothing different in her personality. Mimi is still her sweet angel self. I just hope she will be walking again real soon. Haven’t gotten any wheelchair ramps installed yet. Mimi wouldn’t be able to roll herself outside. The only area where she can take a breathe of fresh air is where the pool is. I forbid her from going out there alone. She listens and since she has a assload of siblings, someone is always willing to take her outside. Those evil alien twins usually chat with her. Mimi enjoys chatting with them and they don’t seem to mind it much. I’m just glad Bora Bora isn’t bugging me so much now.

 

 

 

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The spring festival was in town and I decided that we should all go. Mimi couldn’t and I felt bad about it. She seemed okay with it, Fayon and Mordecai stayed home with her while everyone else went. Mordecai didn’t want to leave his sister behind. I guess that’s cool but MiKaia had no plans to stay. She wanted me to go on a egg hunt with her. I guess I could do that. It’s not I can do much here because I’m pregnant with demon space spawns.

“Did I just step in dog shit?! Ahhh gross! This is stupid. I quit.”

 

 

 

 

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“Daddy I found a pretty egg! I’m gonna give it to Mimi. Daddy? Where you are daddy?!”

 

 

 

 

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They had a kissing booth and I wanted to attend to it. Making ladies pay for my kisses? Why didn’t I think of this before? I think my kisses are too awesome to give out for free. Even if the only lady that I want to be kissing on is Lois, I think this could done for fun.

 

 

 

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I started to do my manly sexy poses to get the ladies’ attention. I know they can’t help but want to get a piece of this fine genie sexiness. My loving is only available for today and then it’s for Lois.

 

 

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“You know you want this loving, girl. Don’t be shy. I charge by the hour so line up to get a piece of my awesome sexiness, ladies.”

 

 

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“Borage, what are you doing?”

“Hey Lois..”

 

 

 

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“Charging the ladies for my sweet lips. But for you, you can get these sweet lips for free.”

 

 

 

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“Really? So I wouldn’t have to pay to kiss you?”

 

 

 

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“Of course as long as I keep getting those awesome blow jobs from you.”

 

 

 

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Lois pulls me into a kiss. But it seemed different this time around.

 

 

 

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Not like it was bad or anything. Something about this kiss was… just amazing. More amazing than any other time we kissed.

 

 

 

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This was kiss was more passionate than the other times. Then I realize why it may of been different. We always gotten together behind closed doors where no one could see us. We hid from, Fayon. We hid from the kids. But as we kissed, I realize that we were out in the open. Not behind any closed doors. Everyone could see us. But I didn’t care, Lois didn’t care. We were out, we were open. There was no hiding this any longer. I’m glad we made out in public. I didn’t like hiding our love from each other. I know it’s better off hidden from my psycho wife, Fayon. But at this moment I didn’t care rather Fayon saw us. Lois and I love is real and we can’t hide this any longer.

 

 

 

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Her kiss felt like heaven too. I was left in a daze of heavenly bliss. Lois let me be as I melt away. But reality hit once I heard the voice of my annoying aunt.

 

 

 

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I knew having her would be a mistake. It wasn’t long before demanding my dad’s attention. He kept here for the kids, not you! I wish mom would of left her back at home. Rosette would be slightly okay, if my dad wasn’t here. I don’t know what her deal is but she needs to leave him alone. He doesn’t want you. He doesn’t love you nor he ever will! You’re just a easy lay and she can’t seem to see that.

 

 

 

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“Boo, let’s ditch these losers and go get freaky somewhere. These kids are hella lame. We can go have our own fun, love.”

 

 

 

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“Rose, I want to spend time with my grandchildren. I’m not going to go run with you right now for some fun. Maybe later. Maybe, okay? There’s a lot to do here. It would be fun.”

 

 

 

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“Your grandkids are idiots like your idiot son. Let’s get our freak on, boo. Don’t you miss me? I miss you. The last time I saw you is when that crazy old hag pulled a gun on me. That bitch coulda killed me! Then you would be lonely without my loving! So stop being a prick and gimme that dick!”

 

 

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“Rose, no. I can’t right now. I’m going to spend time with my grandchildren.”

 

 

 

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“YOU DON’T TELL ME NO, CRACCA ASS CRACCA! GIVE ME THE DICK RIGHT NOW!”

 

 

 

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I was still at the kissing booth. Posing as sexy as ever. I know some lady wants to pay to kiss these juicy hot lips of mine.

 

 

 

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“Hey Pedro. What’s up?”

“I will have one kiss please.”

“You’re funny. I only kiss ladies.”

 

 

 

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“But I pay for kiss. You give kiss, right?”

 

 

 

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“Pedro this isn’t fair. You used your jedi mind trick on me.”

“I give money for kiss. You give kiss. It is nice kiss. Thank you.”

“You’re gay!”

“No. I am what Google calls Bisexual on Earth. On Ziharia, this normal.”

“Don’t care. Still gay.”

“No. Google said Bisexual. Google is friend, it don’t lie.”

 

 

 

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“Get it girl! Get it girl!”

“I’m getting it, Grandma!”

“You’re young, teach me how to dougie!”

“Okay! You’re the coolest grandma ever!”

 

 

 

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“Hey L2. We never get to hang out. I didn’t realize how much you look like daddy.”

 

 

 

 

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“I’m aware of that. Everyone say I look like dad. But we never hang out because you’re always busy fighting with PC all the time. Why can’t you never seem to get along? I know she’s a half sister but she’s still your sister. Our sister. I wouldn’t treat you any different cause you’re my half sister. It doesn’t matter if one parent is different. We are still family, you know.”

 

 

 

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“It’s just cause daddy always favor her over me because I’m a alien and she’s a genie like him. Plus daddy likes her mom a lot and he really don’t care much for my Suziu. I know they are just friends but since daddy got pregnant, they fight a lot. PC thinks she so better than everyone and I’m sick of her. I bet if PC didn’t exist then he would like me.”

 

 

 

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“That’s not true Bora Bora and you know that. Maybe dad does favor some of us over the others, but you know he loves you. Can that just be enough?”

“I know daddy loves me. He told me but it isn’t enough. I want daddy to spend special time with me like he does with PC and Mimi. He ignores me, Luna, Lilah and MiKaia. Daddy seems to only like you, PC and Mimi. He even gives Morde a little more attention. I think he hates Apollo and Nova because of Fayon.”

“You kinda hound dad a lot and he doesn’t like that. I bet if you ease up, then maybe he would want to spend time with you.”

“Do you really think so?”

 

 

 

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“I know so, Bora. Maybe if you were nicer to PC, then yeah. You know, you and PC might have a lot in common if you 2 got along with each. Try being PC’s friend. It’s not gonna kill you.”

“I guess you are right, L2. You’re a cool bro. We need to hang out more.”

“I think that would be cool. Maybe we can do homework.”

“Umm.. I want to do something fun.”

“We can read. I got this new book-“

“Wow, you’re kinda of a nerd. Don’t you still like video games?”

“Of course. Right now I’m programming my own video game. You should try it out.”

 

 

 

“Okay, that could be fun.”

“Can I ask you a favor?”

“What?”

“You know Ashley right?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you give her this note. I really like her and I’m too shy to talk to her.”

“Oh. I can do that for you. I guess you won’t be much of a ladies man like daddy wants you to.”

“I guess not.”

 

 

 

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“I know L2 said I should be nicer to PC but let’s be honest! It’s not in my nature! Muhahahaha!”

 

 

 

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“Yuck, Apollo spit up all over my hands. I need to wash up- WHAT THE HELL! Ugh Bora Whorea! I know this was your doing!”

 

 

 

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“I’m so gonna get that tramp alien back. She’s gonna regret the day she pranks me!”

 

 

 

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“What the hell is this? My hair! My beautiful hair!”

 

 

 

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“I KNOW I MAY LOOK LIKE A ANIME CHARACTER! BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I DECLARE A PRANK WAR!!!”

 

 

 

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I’m glad that my dad deals with those alien brats. Especially Nova, all she does is cry, cry and cry. Such a crybaby and she’s so whiny. She likes my dad a lot. I guess that’s fine. He can deal with her crybabyness. He rocked her to sleep which Fayon wasn’t happy about. Fayon rather rock the twins to sleep herself. She doesn’t like it when others try. She didn’t say anything to my dad other than give him the eye. I notice her crazy outburst stop if Pedro is in the room. Bout time someone put a leash on her.

 

 

 

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“Hey grandpa. I have a question.”

“What is it.”

“Are you really my grandpa or my dad?”

“Umm, I’m your grandpa. Why would you think I might be your dad.”

“Cause dad said since I look like you, then you must be my dad. And he said you bang a lot of ladies too.”

“No, I’m your grandpa but you do look like me. I guess my genes are strong.”

 

 

 

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“Okay I guess. I have another question for you grandpa.”

 

 

 

 

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“Sure, ask away.”

 

 

 

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“Are you really a pimp?”

 

 

 

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“What?! I’m not a pimp. Where on earth did you get a crazy idea like that from?”

 

 

 

 

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“Dad told me. He said you are the king pimp in TB and you have a big whore house with whores living with you. But  dad said you weren’t to good of a pimp cause the whores leave you with babies instead of money. So you’re a not pimp? That’s disappointing  I think it’s cool to have a pimp from a grandpa.”

 

 

 

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“None of what your dad said is true. I’m not a pimp, yes I do have some ladies stay with me time to time. They do leave me babies but it’s only to help me with my quest which you’re too young to understand. I wonder what other crazy stories, Borage told you kids about me.”

 

 

 

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“Well okay. Do your ladies have nice boobs? I bet you got to touch a lot of boobies. I wish I was old enough to touch ladies’ boobies. I like that around like basketballs. I seen ladies jog down the street and their boobies bounce up and down like a basketball. I wonder does that hurt. What kind of boobies do you like, grandpa? Big boobies or little boobies?”

 

 

 

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“You are a very interesting kid. I see a lot of Borage in you.”

“Really? I wanna be like dad. He’s big pimpin’. Like he’s banging Lois while married to Fayon. That’s pimpin’! He has like 2 different sets of boobies to touch every night. I think that would be so cool to touch different boobies every night!”

“Aren’t you a little too young to know about this type of stuff.”

“No. Dad been showing me PlaySim magazines since I was real littler.”

“I see.”

 

 

 

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“Are you gonna tell me what type of boobies you like? Did grandma have nice boobies? Do you like Aunt Rose’s boobies better? Why do old ladies have saggy boobies?”

 

 

 

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“Don’t you want to outside and catch fireflies with me. Let’s do kid friendly things and not talk about this sort of stuff.”

“No grandpa. I wanna talk about boobies. Boobies are my life.”

 

 

 

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“Hey Papa!”

“Hi Bora Bora.”

“So who is your favorite grandbaby?”

“I don’t play favorites. I like you all.”

 

 

 

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“That’s bullshit Papa! Every grandparent has a favorite. Daddy has  favorites. I should be your favorite since I’m a human skinned alien. That makes me cool!”

“Bora Bora, I’m not going to choose a favorite. I like you all equally.”

 

 

 

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“Bleh Papa! That’s cop out! Answer me this. Was grandma your favorite whore in your whore house?”

“What?!”

“Aren’t you a pimp?”

“No, for the last time. What is Borage telling you kids?!”

 

 

 

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It’s a Saturday night and my nerd of son wants to do his homework. I swear this kids urks my nerves sometimes. He needs to quit that nerd shit and act like a real Montigo. It’s the weekend and us Montigos party. I had to stop what I was doing to yell at him. I can’t let my dad see him being a nerd. He is namesake and L2 is gonna make him look bad.

“L2 if you don’t quit with that nerd shit! It’s Saturday night! Act like a Montigo!”

“But dad, I need to work on this equation for school.”

“Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

 

 

 

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I knew if I let the karaoke machine then I would regret it. I don’t miss the days when they would sing badly on this machine. I would usually drink shitloads of vodka since I was 7  just to tune them out. I was hoping maybe Lois and I could sing a duet but these 2 idiots took over.

 

 

 

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“Baby it’s yours! If you want it tonight. I’ll give ya the red light special.”

“Liam I wanna touch your diccccccccccck!”

“You’re fucking up the words, stupid!”

“I want Liam’s dicccccccck!”

 

 

 

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“WILL YOU 2 SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

 

 

 

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Dad wanted to read Mimi to sleep. Usually that’s what I do but Mimi wanted dad to do it for tonight. I guess I could one night not putting Angel baby to bed. I hope he reads her the right story. I want my Angel baby to have sweet dreams.

 

 

 

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“I hope you’ll like this story that I picked out for you.”

“Is it about aliens.”

“No it’s about fairies. Do you want me to get another book.”

“No but answer me this.”

“Sure.”

“Did you ever get pregnant by a boy alien like daddy?”

 

 

 

 

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“Sweetie, let me read you this story.”

“Well Papa? Have ya? I bet you did. You’re avoiding my question.”

“Mimi, it’s your bedtime. Let me read this story.”

“Did you have butt sex with a boy alien or was it alien magic? I heard uncle Pedro saying he might put a baby in you.”

 

 

 

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“Now Mimi. I’m not going to talk about stuff like that. Where on earth are you kids getting ideas like this from.”

“Daddy.”

“Of course.”

“Are ya gonna answer me? Did you have butt sex with alien to get alien babies?”

“Miyoko Montigo!”

“You’re lame.”

 

 

 

 

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“I’m going to start reading this story to you. Are you ready?”

“Good night Papa.”

“I guess good night then.”

 

 

 

 

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“Since you read Mimi to sleep then you’re gonna read me a story too!”

 

 

 

 

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“And if you don’t then I’m gonna put frogs and cheetos in your suitcase! You are gonna read me a story right?”

 

 

 

 

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“Of course I’ll read you a story but you didn’t need to threaten me.”

 

 

 

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“I’m ready for my story, Papa!”

 

 

 

 

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“I know you’re gonna like this story.”

“Is it about pimps and hos? Daddy reads that to me every night.”

“No and before you ask me, the answer is no. I’m not a pimp or ever was.”

“You’re hella lame, Papa. Daddy is big pimpin’! You need to be more like him.”

 

 

 

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“Got damn it L2! What did I tell you about doing nerd shit on a Saturday night!”

“I’m sorry dad! I’ll put it away.”

 

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Note: There is no part 2 of Chapter 25. I didn’t get to do what I wanted to so I skipped over and went to chapter 26 instead.

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  5 comments for “Love For The Ladies: Chapter 26, Bonding Ain’t Easy

  1. February 15, 2013 at 10:10 AM

    Poor Liam getting chided by his Grandkids for not being a pimp. Borage manning kissing booth pregnant made me lol.

    • thenay83
      February 15, 2013 at 12:48 PM

      They thought it would cool to have a pimp grandfather but when they learned he’s just a normal grandfather. They became uninterested lol. Pregnant Borage at the kissing booth was funny. He didn’t care he had that big ol belly lol. I do miss pregnant Borage now 😦

  2. February 23, 2013 at 2:28 PM

    Borage is sexy at the kissing booth. But Pedro! “I will have one kiss please.” 😆 L2 and Morde are so cute. Morde has a big fascination with boobies, even more so than Van. 🙂 Well, he’s very vocal about it, Van keeps it to himself. I love that shot of Borage in the room being annoyed and his fat belly is sticking wayyy out.

  3. April 22, 2013 at 11:24 PM

    Getting drunk while reading Borage. I think this a perfect combination!!

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