I’m starving.. Starving from the attention from the ladies. While Greta was napping. I dressed Mordecai up and took him to the club with me. I know ladies like babies and I have a cute baby. I’m sure to score with some ladies tonight.
Alright Mordecai, show your cuteness. You’re gonna help daddy get some sexy ladies tonight. Don’t screw it up or no cake tonight.
Hey dude, I need a whiskey on the rocks and a apple juice for the kid.
Did you seriously just bring a kid into the club?
Yeah I did. The kid is cute, I’m get gonna get all the hot ladies using him. Where’s yours at? At home with some drunk hooker passed out on your couch?
At least I’m spending time with my kid unlike you. You’re a terrible father.
If you’re such a great father then change the kid’s diaper. He stinks. I don’t even have kids. A club isn’t a place for a kid anyway, dumb ass!
Hey! I’m trying to get a whiskey on the rocks and a apple juice for the kid over here.
Borage, seriously dude? You bought your baby here?
What? I can’t spend time with my kid? Besides, I’m trying to get some lady action tonight. Ladies love babies.
Yeah they do but you should bring your baby to the park, not to the club you idiot! You better hope our boss doesn’t caught you here with your child. You’re a good DJ but a fucking moron! You don’t need to have anymore kids.
You’re just a hater cause I can get more pussy than you. Just shut your cock sucker and serve us our drinks. I also want some animal crackers too. For me, not for the kid.
I sat Mordecai down after he tried to knock my whiskey out my hand. That was alcohol abuse and I won’t stand for that. Little brat!
But then I notice little Morde started to crawl around and was looking up the ladies’ skirts. He already know. Not even mad at him.
Um.. someone left their baby up here. He’s a little cutie but he’s trying look up my dress. Who’s baby is this?
Yes, he’s a adorable child but a little perv already. He took a peek up mines as well. Who brings a child into a club. I would like to meet the idiot who did this.
He’s my child and I’m DJ. I have a cute kid. You must want to ride my dick now, ladies?
So you’re the asshole who bought a child into a club. This isn’t the place for a child. He should be at home in bed. Where is his mother? You are a terrible parent! Just cause you have cute kid, doesn’t mean that we want to sleep with you.
I’m about to go in 10 minutes so if any of you sexy ladies want a piece of this genie dick, then this is the time. I can grant you 3 wishes sweet lady. 3 things that all ladies want. Orgasms, more orgasms and me for one night. That’s everything that a lady wishes for.
Well? I guess this must be hag bitch night then, huh? Haters.
Hey, watch my kid while I go play for tonight.
You gotta be kidding, Borage. I’m not your personal babysitter! You had no business bringing him anyway! My job is to tend to the bar, not babysit your kid!
I started to do my job. Playing some tracks, trying to get all the ladies down on the dance floor to shake their ass.
I got a few, the tan lady was giving me looks but she looking good. I think I wanna get with her.
As the night went on. More ladies started to come down to the dance floor to watch me cause they can’t help themselves. I’m just too sexy. The ladies love looking at me and checking out my sexy body.
BMG, can you play that new track from Britney Sims?
Only if you let me put my genie stick in your mouth.
Mordecai? What on Earth are you doing in here at the club? I left you in the care of Pedro and he allows Borage to bring you here? I swear your daddy is a idiot! I will have a word with them both! I miss you little guy!
Borage! Can I have a word with you! Why did you bring Mordecai here! I’m here to see my kid and I find him here! I trusted Pedro! He said he would make sure that you wouldn’t do something stupid like this!
Hey Purple lady! So did you change your mind about the sex? I can take a break and meet you in the guys restroom in 5. I knew you would miss my loving.
No, no Brain llama! It’s not techno music that you’re hearing. It’s something greater that you are hearing…
It’s called, HOUSE MUSIC!
When I looked up, ALL of my freaking kids were in the club! I didn’t know how they got here or what to do. So I just kept on playing the music. Annoying children.
My kids all started to dance around the club and ordering apple juice from the bar. My boss wasn’t there. My kids know how to party at least. Where was Greta? Pedro? Oh well. The kids weren’t bothering me at least. Hopefully I can still get some ladies.
You bought them ALL, Borage? C’mon dude! You’re pushing it! Maybe you should leave..
I still have a job right?
*****The Next Day*****
I still the DJ at the club by the way. Greta accidentally drank the wrong wine and got drunk. So the kids snuck out while Pedro was gone. Alayna tried to track me down so she could yell at me but I avoided her. Greta grounded all of the kids and I challenge Pedro to a game of pool.
Borage, were gonna try again. The girls look too human. I’m not happy how they turn out. Be prepare soon, okay?
What the hell are you talking about Pedro?
Bora Bora and Luna- Skye won’t do for recreating my kind. We try again, okay? We conceive offspring properly next time.
Oh no were not! I’m not carrying anymore of your evil alien babies again! One of them doesn’t even speak English!
Besides this hot body is for the ladies only! Did you know how long it took before I got this nice body back after birthing those evil babies? No way I’m doing that again!
You can check out my ass all you want, but you’re getting no where near it Pedro! Go have babies with another alien lady!
A promise is a promise, Borage. You’re my host. You’re anus is mines. I will be in it.
You’re funny Pedro! No means no. Don’t go plotting rape again.
Hey dad? Can I use the computer?
Only if you plan on using it to chat with the fine ladies. It’s never too early for you to start being a ladies man like me and your granddaddy. You’re his namesake. The time is now, son.
Liam.2 told he would be instead he decided to play chess on the computer. I told him he could for flirting with ladies, not doing nerd shit on it. What’s with this kid?
It was night time and I wanted to check out my new lady neighbors. I was hoping I could see them get naked in their bedrooms before bed. Maybe I could see a sexy naked lady wrestle match in their bedroom. I know that what ladies do when men aren’t looking. Mmm.. naked lady wrestling.
Oh gross that was a naked old lady with green skin! She has gray pubie hairs and stuff. I’m scarred for life!
Let’s try this again. Let’s pan away from that house. I don’t wanna see that naked old green lady again. Her tits were saggy.
He he he he! I just saw a naked lady! I need to do this more often.
Go away Pedro, I’m not having alien butt babies with you.
You promise Borage and you will soon.
Techno is a dying race of music according to my calculations. House music is more pleasing to the Brain llama.
But what of Dubstep? That seems to upset the Brain llama. Could Dubstep really be aliens trying to communicate with us? I must listen more to this Dubstep. Maybe I can save Llama Mama and free the Brain llama but I LOVE house music!
Lilah, every time you talk I get a headache about the size of Sunlit Tides. Do you ever shut up?
I can’t believe Ashley is here. I kinda want to talk to her but I don’t know what to say. I’m so shy around girls. I know dad wants me to talk to girls and stuff. I don’t know what to stuff.
I don’t know why dad pushes me to be a ladies man so much. I just wanna read books, play chess and video games. How does get a girl’s attention? Oh yeah! He usually say something about his private parts. But the girl slaps him. I don’t want Ashley to slap me and I don’t want to say something about my private parts. This is hard. I gotta say something…
Are you going to be in the science fair this year, Ashley? I know I will be. It’s going to be a lot of fun.
Of course, Liam.2! I’m glad that you’re entering the fair too, at least I will know someone there. Maybe we can enter in together? I think that would be so cool!
Really Liam.2?! You finally talk to a girl and you talk about nerd stuff?! That girl is a hag and she’s about a 3! You’re a Montigo-Gelman! You don’t talk to a girl who is less than a 8! Get dress, I’m taking you to the club and showing you how to chat with a real lady.
Sorry dad… But am I too young to be in a club?
Now son, you never get with a lady who is less than a 8 unless you’re drunk ass your ass. You better be wasted if you get with a 7 or under. That Ashley girl is gonna be a total hag, she’s a 3 so you have to be wasted before hooking up with her. Ladies don’t care about your nerd stuff. They only care about the size of your dick and how much money you have. But since you’re still a kid they only care if you’re a good kisser. You’ll learn how to kiss tonight.
Learn how to kiss? But how? I’m just a kid and this is club full of adult woman, dad. How will this be possible?
Borage, I know you’re the DJ and all but you can’t waltz in here with your kids.
Hey don’t give me any lip, Mc Double. I’m teaching my son the ways of being a ladies man. What better place to learn this is in a club of drunken women with no morals. You wouldn’t know anything about that, Big Mac. I bet you can’t even find your own dick.
Look don’t come in here insulting me and my weight. I don’t care who you are Borage. You can’t bring a kid into a club. It’s against the rules and you know this.
Whatever, triple whopper with cheese. You’re just mad cause the last time you had a orgasm is when you saw there was a all you can eat burger buffet. Now stop looking at my sexy body like with turkey dinner and fetch me a drink.
Dad maybe we should leave. I have homework to do. It’s a school night.
Before leaving, I let Liam.2 play some video games first. That fatty guy is such a buzz kill. I bet he never got laid in his life. Blow up dolls don’t count. And he probably broke the doll too.
Meanwhile at the house..
You can do it, Morde! Walk for Greta! Do you hear that? Sounds like a space ship. I wonder if Pedro is back. I’m going to go check.
Pedro? Is that you? Aren’t you going to come inside?
Pedro?? What’s going on?! Where are you taking me! This isn’t funny!
Stop it! This isn’t funny Pedro if this is you! Put me down! SOMEBODY HELP ME!
Something not right. Feeling. Feeling not right.
Greta! They got her! Oh no! They will harm her…. Borage will not like….