WAIT! WAIT! PUT ME DOWN! DON’T TAKE ME FROM MY LOVE! BORAGE!! HELP ME!

 

 

 

 

She’ll do nicely in our collection…

 

 

 

 

Luna? Did you hear that? Sounds like our people had taken Lindy.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh moratic! Turkey nurbler? Dag dag Lindy!

 

 

 

 

You wouldn’t have something to do with that would you Luna?

 

 

 

Daddy? Am I really the most prettiest girl ever? I heard you taking to grandpa about something like. Is he coming to see us soon? Is grandma coming too?

 

 

 

Yes baby cake, you’re the prettiest girl ever. Your grandparents are coming in town for Snowflake day cause EA likes to censor shit and it’s actually called Christmas but it’s whatever. Your grandpa is going to like you the most-est.

 

 

 

 

Ugh I hate PC! I’m going to be daddy’s favorite! I’m the prettiest girl ever and grandpa WILL like me the most-est EVER! They WILL LOVE ME! Daddy and Grandpa will be mines, mines MINES!

 

 

 

I have no idea what happen to Lindy but the twins had their birthdays without her. Liam.2 was first. Greta’s dentures fell on the cake.

 

 

 

Then was Lilah.

 

 

 

Borage, do you care what happen to Lindy? I have  feeling that my people abducted her.

 

 

 

 

Actually I don’t care if your alien people took her. She can drive them crazy by planning a wedding that’s never going to happen.

 

 

 

 

But Borage, my people can be very dangerous. I can return her.

 

 

 

 

She’ll be fine. I’m enjoying my freedom away from that nut! I can get back to loving on all the sweet ladies. She’ll just be in the way. She’ll get use to all that alien probing. She might into that kinky shit. She’s a freak!

 

 

 

 

She could be in serious danger. They could  kill her, Borage. Let me return her. She the mother of your twins.

 

 

 

 

Damn Pedro, let a nigga breathe. The way I see it, the aliens are in danger if they have her. She’s their problem now, not mines.

 

 

 

 

Bah.. bah.. nigga!

Good going Borage. That is word he not need to know.

Ahh Pedro, his great grandmama is black. It’s cool.

 

 

 

 

According to my calculations, mama is the great llama queen of the aliens! They have her. I must go to space and rescue mama llama! 

 

 

 

 

I’m not even going to entertain your nonsense. We need to go to bed…

 

 

 

 

PC thinks she’s so pretty huh? Let’s see how pretty she would be with cyan hair. Then daddy will have me as his favorite! DADDY WILL LOVE ME!

 

 

 

 

According to my calculations the great llama mama must be displeased with my action and must of implanted a brain llama in my head cause my hair to change cyan!

 

 

 

 

I AM SORRY OH GREAT LLAMA MAMA GODS! I WILL COME FOR YOU AND FREE YOU AND THIS BRAIN LLAMA FROM MY HEAD! I SHALL NOT DISAPPOINT YOU NO LONGER!

 

 

 

 

The festival was in town and Greta convince me that we should take the kids to it. I guess it could be fun. Maybe I’ll meet some sexy ladies there.

 

 

 

 

I saw this haunted house there. I thought I’ll give this a try. It looks interesting enough.

 

 

 

 

I got attacked by a mummy. It wasn’t even a hot lady mummy! How lame was that?! This place sucks. Where’s the ladies at? I want to have some sexy time in a leaf pile of something.

 

 

 

 

My kids wanted to be in the pie eating contest. They acted like they never saw food before. I feed them.. Well actually Greta feed them. I do all the hard work by creating them. It’s fun until they are born.

 

 

 

These kids were going crazy eating those pies. They were starting to look like those zombies from resident evil or some shit. Looking like they have the T virus.

 

 

 

You guys look very ridiculous! Especially you PC. I hope you get really fat and I’ll shall be daddy’s number one girl.

 

 

 

Jowlenin… Bum Bum!

 

 

 

If you kids were really mines, you all would be eating cake and not pie! This is blasphemy! 

 

 

 

 

Ya gotta wob’ere! Ya gotta wob’ere!

 

 

 

 

Do you ever speak english, you evil alien child? I never know what you’re saying.

Boobasnot! Renato! Renato!

Yeah… whatever evil kid. Go learn some english!

Depwa Spanewash Depla Blah!

I told Pedro that you’re defected..

 

 

 

Daddy! I can teach Luna some english! Then maybe I will be your favorite! Aren’t I special? I’m half alien! That’s more special than just some boring ol’ genie kid! I have some genie traits too.. Somewhere.. KEEP ON EATING PC! I want you to get really really really fat!

 

 

 

 

Bruce-Lee won of course, the kids soon regret this. This will teach them to eat something other than CAKE!

 

 

 

 

I failed you great llama mama gods! I didn’t eat the pies fast enough. With my dying wish… please have mercy on me!

 

 

 

 

I AM SO SORRY! I WON’T FAIL YOU AGAIN! I COULDN’T STOP THE BRAIN LLAMA, HE WANTED PIE!

 

 

 

 

This will be the last time I will let them convince me to do something crazy. Greta! I don’t feel good!

 

 

 

 

Yay I won.. but I don’t feel good.. I need Greta.. Dad where is she?

 

 

 

 

Of course you were going to win. You’re Asian, this is your type of type. Your mom won the hot dog eating contest. Too bad she wouldn’t suck on my juicy hot dog.  You don’t need any medicine so suck it up, kid cause yo’ momma didn’t.

 

 

 

 

After Greta treated the kids’ tummy aches, we bobbed for apples.

 

 

 

 

Oh my! I’ve seem to dropped my dentures into the tub!

 

 

 

 

Sucks to be you then! I’m gonna win and be crowned the apple king!

 

 

 

 

Don’t under estimate me Borage. I’m good holding circular objects in my mouth with or with out teeth.  I may of never been married but that didn’t mean I didn’t get around back in my day.

 

 

 

 

Wait… what? You’re implying tea bagging some balls in your mouth! Gross!

 

 

 

 

I gladly let Greta win this round.

 

 

 

 

Greta was suddenly full of life. She decided to do some bull riding. I thought this would be interesting to watch a old lady on a bull.

 

 

 

Woo hoo! This remind me of when I was a little girl! I use to ride a cow to school! This brings me back to the good old days!

 

 

 

 

You use to ride on a cow to school? Be careful Greta.. I don’t want you to hurt yourself…

 

 

 

 

That was amazing. These old bones needed this. I think I’ll another go.

I think you had enough Greta.

I guess you’re right, Borage.

 

 

 

 

I gave the bull a go and show Greta how it’s done.

 

 

 

 

Watch me Greta! Now this is how you ride a bull! I’m a professional!

 

 

 

 

That’s nice dear. Now you be careful, you’re being careless now.

 

 

 

 

I got this Greta! I know what I’m doing! Professionals don’t fall off!

 

 

 

 

Oh..SHIT!

 

 

 

 

I meant to do that! So shut up!

 

 

 

 

Daddy do you want to take pictures with me? We can get our faces painted first. We should get rainbows. How does that sound?

 

 

 

 

Sure baby cake. We can do whatever you want. You need to wash the pie from your face first.

 

 

 

 

Freaking PC! I hate her! I’m gonna throw a water balloon at her! There’s no way I’m gonna allow her to get her face painted with Daddy AND get pictures taken too? There’s no way Daddy would want to take pics with PC if she’s a soggy mess!

 

 

 

 

Say Brain llama, what do you think about Bora Bora’s obsession to gain daddy’s attention?

 

 

 

 

Right! She’s CRAZY!

 

 

 

 

Hey PC! I have something to give you!

 

 

 

HEY! You threw a water balloon at me! I’m all wet and cold! I’m telling! Daddy!!! Bora Bora threw a water balloon at me!

 

 

 

 

After yelling at Bora Bora for being a brat, Greta suggested that we should get pumpkins for the kids to crave out for spooky day. This father stuff is getting annoying. I’m getting no lady time!

 

 

 

 

Peek a boo! I see you, Mordecai! You’re my little baby and I’m gonna love you forever and forever! I will be your favorite sister! Isn’t that right, Morde? Bora Bora is your favorite, right?

 

 

 

 

Peek boo Bora!

 

 

 

 

Afterwards we went home and the kids did their homework while Greta dances around in her bathing suit. I think Greta had too much fun today or had slipped some whiskey into her coffee at the festival. Grandmama said she picked the best nanny for my kids. Right.. I’m starting to see a different side of Greta now. I kinda like it.

 

 

 

 

This isn’t enough information to feed the brain llama. I must fly out to space to do so. The aliens are waiting for me. I must plan and calculate correctly now. 

 

 

 

 

For goodness sake Lilah, shut up.. There was no brain llama implanted into your head. I set up a trap in the shower that was for PC. But instead you just had to get in the way. My people are not waiting for you. They don’t even want you.

 

 

 

 

You’re Asian, you’re good at math. People are jerks… Math is so hard!

 

 

 

 

Luna, I know you don’t speak english but do you have anything idea what were saying to you? It’s going to be hard for you to live here if you won’t learn the language. Can you understand me? Am I wasting my time? You should have like a translator or something.

 

 

 

 

Harva sol labaga along with hava so lawnumg.

 

 

 

 

I have no idea what you just said. I hope it’s not insulting…

 

 

 

 

That’s totally how I feel all the time, Luna! I get you! You get me too!

 

 

 

 

You can understand alien language, Lilah? You have to teach me!

 

 

 

 

Lilah does not.. She only knows how to speak nonsense. I’m trying to read here. You’re annoying voices are giving me a headache!

 

 

 

I hate math.. 

 

 

 

I seriously need to get some lady time. These kids are annoying!

 

 

Hey Mom & Dad, the kids spent a day at the fall festival. They took this pic and insist that I sent this to you both. See how beautiful my baby cake is even if her face is cover with pie? The kids are begging to meet you both soon. – Borage

 

 

****

Bonus Pic: Bruce-Lee and Phoenix-Champagne

 

 

 

 

****

Note: Luna refuses to learn English so she speaks Pedro’s native alien language. Actually, I’m just using Simlish whenever Luna speaks. Since English isn’t Pedro’s first language, his grammar isn’t the best. I’m trying to remember that haha.