There’s only 2 things in the world that a man never wants to hear. “Were all out of cake.” and “I’m pregnant.” It’s worst if a man hear both of those things in one sentence. But I just heard one of those today. This breaks my heart… How could she come over my house without bringing me some cake and told me that awful news…
Greta, I was thinking… Once I have the baby, can I leave her in your care so I can get treatment for my drinking problem? After that day with Borage and learning I was pregnant, I realize I have a problem.
Well I dunno Lois.. I was only paid to care for Bruce-Lee for 18 years.. There wasn’t any extra money for another child. I guess I can care for the baby while you get help.
Oh? I promise I’ll come back for her. I can pay you whatever I can.
That’s okay dear, you don’t need to pay me. I would love to care for your baby. It would be fine, just get the care you need.
Thank you Greta, you’re saint. I’m glad you’re around. Borage is a adorable, but he’s a idiot and I don’t trust him in the care of our child.
One day I was chillin’, eating some tasty cechive but suddenly… I just felt strange but still sexy as ever. Maybe more sexy.
I’ve sleep all the time and my back always hurt…
I ate all the time and had some wicked mood swings… Like a woman..
Pedro was always hanging out with the brat for whatever reason. I hope he’s no pedo.
He’s sometimes talk to him in some weird sim language.
But Bruce-Lee always gives him that stupid look on his face. Yeah Pedro is a weirdo.
Do you understand anything I’m saying kid? Are you in or out with this plan? My home planet could need a person like you!
Suddenly a random fire breaks out..
Buckwheat goes into labor.
She had a baby girl. Since she went into labor during a fire and we both love champagne, we named her Phoenix-Champagne.
You’ll never be a rockstar if you keep playing the same 2 notes over and over. You’ll be a girl-less loser for life! No son of mines will be girl-less loser. We come from a family of ladies men like your Granddaddy Liam!
And stop eating that! Don’t be such a baby! You’re gonna be a ladies man!
Borage dear, he’s just a baby. That’s what he does what. Don’t be so hard on him.
I’m trying to teach him pimp ways before he’s out of diapers. It’s in his blood! All the little girl tots are gonna be loving on my little boy cause it’s gonna be the man at Pre K!
Never share your cookies with a girl who is less than a 5. This is a important rule in being a ladies man in Pre K. You got that son?
All that eating is catching up to me. I’m starting to let myself go. This is not a good for the ladies. I gotta do something about this.
I started to workout, trying to get rid of this ugly body fat. I still look while I’m gettin’ my working out on.
Borage? What you are doing? You’re in no condition to be doing that right now.
What are you talking? I’m fat! I’m in the right condition to be working out. The ladies don’t want not fat belly man. I look pregnant.
That’s cause you are pregnant! You’re pregnant with my alien baby!
Pregnant? But I’m a man…with a penis! How can I be pregnant!
You promised to be a host. You’re a host of to carry my alien children. Remember?
What?! That’s what you mean by a host? I know nothing bout birthing no babies! Does that mean we had gay alien sex? WHY PEDRO!
No silly! We didn’t have gay sex or any kind. When I knocked you out I simply placed my hand over your anus and released my DNA with shots of magic and sparkly things. Now you’re pregnant.
I never felt so violated in my life. That’s still rape Pedro! Why couldn’t you get a female pregnant like a normal man? I’m gonna have a butt baby!
1. I’m alien and I have no interest doing what you do. 2. The baby isn’t gonna come out your butt. It’s like magic when the baby comes but it will hurt before the baby comes.
Greta, I have something to tell you. That alien is a rapist. He got me pregnant with alien butt baby.
I figured that honey, whenever you’re asleep in the nude the alien is always rubbing on your butt and watches you sleep. I think he likes you. I think it’s adorable that he has a boy-crush on you and wants to have butt babies with you.
I always thought it was a lady rubbing my butt…
Phoenix-Champagne is suddenly a tot and she got good hair! I guess I didn’t need to get any hair relaxers or hot combs since her momma act like those are evil.
Dad!!!! HELP!!!! I got raped by alien and now I’m pregnant with a alien butt baby!!! – Borage
Son, stop texting me when you’re drunk. – Dad
I woke up not feeling well. I also found Pedro in my room probably plotting to play with my nice ass again but I wore clothes this time! No ass play for you Pedro!
But suddenly I felt some sharp pain! Ohhhhhhh shit!!! The alien butt baby is coming!!!!
This shit hurts! How do women do this! Why did my mom wanna do this! I feel pain in my butt! Pedro lied!! This baby is coming out my butt!
But I saw the magic!
The alien baby actually looks like me. I named her Bora Bora.
But I wasn’t done… More pain! WHY?! I thought I was done! This shit sucks! I’m never doing this again!
Now my baby daddy cares that I’m birthing his magic babies!
The last baby looks like Pedro, he named her Luna-Skye
Months later after I got my nice body back I celebrated with my favorite food. Cake. Then Lindy waddle in all fat. Maybe she can use my gym now.
Borage my love, I’ve been trying to reach you. I haven’t heard from you since the night we made love. Why haven’t you returned my calls? Don’t you love me anymore?
I’ve been busy and no you can’t any of my cake. Looks like you don’t need any.
Wait… You love me? Of course you do you. I got that good dick. But why are so fat now?
I’m not fat, my love. I’m pregnant.
Really? What loser got you pregnant. I feel sorry for him.
You. Now we can get married and be in love!
Why does this keep happening to me… At least I still have my cake!