It was festival time. I was hoping to see some sexy ladies in skimpy bikinis but it was just a bunch of old ladies and lap dogs there.
There was a eating contest and I’ve never seen ladies this happy to see a plate of hot dogs. I wish there were some fine ladies here cause I have a nice juicy hot dog for em in my pants.
I admired the way Ling Ling shoved the hot dogs in her mouth. I offer my hot dog to her by waving it in her face but she always slaps me! How rude. But I am a little bothered of how well my Grandma is. I guess my Gramps was a happy man?
Way to go Mom! No wonder I was so good at cramming wieners in mouth! I must got it from you Ma cause Borage’s daddy said I was the best fuck that he ever had! Even better than Rosette! I don’t care if someone calls me a cocksucker cause it’s true!
Zinnia Feye Montigo! That is now how a young lady should speak nor act! You shouldn’t be so proud of that rubbish! There isn’t enough soap in the world for me to wash your mouth out. I raised you better than this. I’m quitting this contest since it’s given you such a dirty, dirty mind. I will have none of this!
Well this….. is getting awkward. My fam is so strange.. How did my prune of a grandmama get a shameless wild child?
It was just Pikachu and some hag left in sucking down those weenies like a sex starved Russian nympho. Stir Fry was winning but of course we know this. She’s Asian.
You got this Spring Roll! You’re Asian, your people are good at eating hot dogs! After you win you can celebrate by stuffing my juicy plump wiener in your mouth. Sucky sucky, long time! I got that happy ending, bout’ to release the dragon in your great wall.
Mulan won of course and then slapped me in the face for my Asian comments. Totally worth it!
Suddenly this green weirdo in a space suit shows up and starts talking to me in some weird sim language. Then I had a idea.
Hey green weirdo, I challenge you to a hot dog eating contest.
Okay but if I win, I get to probe you.
That’s not gonna happen cause I’m gonna win!
I was in hot dog heaven with every bite. I didn’t even care I was losing to that green weirdo in a space suit. At least I didn’t look like a professional gay homo sticking all those hot dogs in my mouth at once. I’m pretty sure he’s been in a few gay pornos before.
Green space weirdo won but I kept on eating those free hot dogs. Where can I get a free meal? I may be looking like a gay pornstar right now but I’m getting my grub on. I hope no fine ladies see this.
I can pick flowers now. This smells pretty. I’m gonna give this to a lady cause ladies loves flowers. They’ll love me too since I’m named after a flower and I’m sexy. I just wished this place wasn’t filled with hags and space weirdos.
Zinnia: Oh hai Death! If you’re looking for Rosette, she’s isn’t in this story.
Death: Damn it. I was hoping she would show up. I will find her…
It was near the end of the day and FINALLY! A sexy lady shows up. Her hair needs a TBC no lye relaxer but her face is sexy. I need to get one this quick!
I asked if she was impressed by my floating skills and then she talked about how drunk she was. This was great for me. I don’t even have to try very hard since she’s already drunk. That probably explains the hair.
Say lady, how about we go just cut to the chase and check out that photo booth. I wanna show you how photogenic my dick can be.
That one line won her over as she pulls me into a sweet ass kiss. I was loving this! BMG is on his second lady and I thought Bangkok was gonna hold me back from catching more ladies. 2 down and a bunch more to go!
Lovings was good but it was a little cramp in there. I manage fucking her brains out in this tiny photo booth. After our love making, she pukes. Classy lady.
I had no idea that this photo actually worked and it took photos of our love fest. Those were some bad angles of my sexiness so I decided to rip up the photos. I thanked her and strutted home in pride. I got laid! I got laid! I got laid! I got laid! I got laid!
I saw you with that improper female! Shame on you Borage. You will be a proper gentleman rather the woman is drunk or not! I was told about your 1000 lady goal and I will have none of that! You will be a gentleman, and keep it in your pants! Leave those loose women alone and find a proper lady to marry!
Sorry Grandmama.. She was just so sexy…
Wait just a fuckin’ min… I’m a grown ass man the last time I checked! If I wanna bang 1000 loose women then that’s my business! I am a gentleman! I tell them that they are pretty and then I fuck them like a rabid dog!
Watch your language young man! You will not speak to your grandmother in that tone! Do you realize you can possible have 500 kids? You don’t have the proper skills or brains to raise kids! That’s why I sent Greta here. I didn’t hire her to raise your 500 kids! I will be a end to this madness Borage!
Oh yeah? And how you gonna do that?
I will make sure no woman in this city will even touch you….
After being threaten by my grandmama I went outside cause the weatherman said it was raining cats and dogs. It was just raining water, that weatherman is a idiot!
Suddenly I saw this light coming towards my house. I thought it was sexy angel lady being sent to me cause I’ve been a good boy!
Then there was a big boom sound!!!
My beautiful yard was hit by a fucking random meteor!
That green weirdo teleports in front of me. How did he find my house???
Hi there! Remember me? I’m Pidexo but you can call me Pedro. I am back now so show me to my room now?
What? What are you talking about? Show you to your room?
You challenge me to a eating contest. The planet that I come from that means you want me to live with you. I just came to earth. I live with you now.
I challenge you cause I wanted a free meal, not for you to move in and shoot a meteor at house. What planet did you come from? Planet crazy?!
So I live with you now? If not I’ll keep shooting meteors at your house.
Why do everyone keep threatening me? I guess you can move in but only if you can help me get sexy ladies. I have a goal to bang 1000 and I banged 2 already.
Ladies? I can do that. I can help. I bring you lots of ladies. I only ask if you will be a host. Then I bring you lots of ladies.
I agreed with Pedro but I wasn’t sure of what he mean by “host”. Host like in hosting a sexy party? I can do that. I can host sexy alien parties!
I really wanted my mom and grandmama to leave. So I told my grandmama that she was right and I wouldn’t try to fuck 1000 ladies. She was happy and left. But I lied. I’m not stopping cause I got all this BMG loving to give. If you don’t like what I’m doing then you can blame my parents and suck it. Suck it if you’re sexy.