Love for the ladies: Chapter 3, Oh baby!

After hanging out here and begging, the club let me be their resident DJ. Finally! I can get to being a superstar and get some ladies. It’s been months since I last saw Amy Wong. She got sober and told me to never speak to her again. Whatever.. I can get a much hotter girl than her. It’s cool.. I’m not sweating it.


I notice a nice looking lady as I was spinning some tracks. She looks good but her sense of fashion sucks! What’s with all these poorly dressed ladies in Starlight Shores. I couldn’t help be notice that guy was doing a intense pee dance to my set. I guess my music is great!

“Everyone! Do a intense pee dance like that guy!”


I took a break so I could get to know this lady but when I got close to her, I notice she’s kinda old looking. I’m not drunk enough to fuck her so I took off.

“Hi there. I would like to get to know you. I like all of the music that you been playing tonight. What’s your name?”

“My name is I-don’t-fuck-hags-like-you.”

“Ugh you asshole! How rude!”


The bartender decided to give me a bunch of free drinks but later said that hag bought all these drinks for me.

“I’m not drinking those. That hag thinks I’ll fuck her if I’m drunk. She’s wrong.”

“Look you’re drinking these! I didn’t make them for you to waste them.. Besides she paid for them.”

“That hag is trying to molest me. No!”

“Drink em!”


“Do it!”

“Shit man! No means no! Quit trying to drink rape me!”


I get home and 10 minutes later there’s a angry knock at my door. I opened it and it was Manga. I haven’t seen her since I Tigo her eggo.

“You fuckin’ asshole! You ruined my life!”


“What are you talking about? You come to my house at 5 am calling me a asshole. I haven’t seen you in months!”



“Look what you did to me!”



“You let yourself go. You’re so fat. You could be a sumo wrestler now. So how you getting fat is my fault? I didn’t force you to eat 500 pounds of powder donuts!”



“I’m not fat you fuckin’ idiot! I’M PREGNANT by YOU!”



“That’s… that’s impossible. I only fucked you once. ONCE. I can’t get you pregnant, I didn’t give my sperms a GPS to your egg.”


“What?! You idiot! Ugh! Why did I even sleep with you! It only takes one time, Borage!”


“I’m sexy and you can’t help yourself. All the ladies want a piece of this. Are you sure it’s mines? You could of been ho-ing around after me.”



“Yes, it’s not my husband’s, it’s yours! He kicked me out and so I’m staying with you since it’s your fault!”



After learning Cherry Blossom is knocked up by me I sent a email to my dad.

Dad, Remember that Asian girl? Well I got her pregnant and her husband kicked her out and she’s staying here. I know nothing bout birthing no babies. How did my sperms find her egg? I blame you. You gave me smart sperm! – Borage



Having Hello Kitty staying with me was a drag. I thought it would be cool, I thought we would have hot wild sex again. She wouldn’t let me touch her and all she does is yell at me of how I ruined her life. It’s not my fault that she decided to be a ho bag for one night. She said who ever won, got to take her home. When she’s not yelling at me, she’s talks a lot.. A lot about boring stuff.


“Hey! Are you listening to anything that I’m talking about?”





She tried to get me to bond with the unborn creature growing her in belly. Damn she’s fat!

“That baby is noisy in there. I think it wants out. You’re better off in there than out here with this crazy lady.”


“Just saying.”



One day while I was working on my nice body, Tamagotchi came up to me.

“Borage! I have something to tell you!”


“Holy shit! My water just broke!”


“Huh? You water broke? I didn’t know that water can break. You want me to buy you a new one? Where do I buy one from? EBay?


“You are truly a idiot! I’m in labor! The baby is coming!”








After Teriyaki yelled at me how she wants me to burn in hell during child birth, my first child busted out of her cooch like a cork on a champagne bottle. We named our son Bruce-Lee Montigo-Gelman.



Meet the first born of Gen 3 of the Montigo family, Little Bruce-Lee!





  14 comments for “Love for the ladies: Chapter 3, Oh baby!

  1. October 11, 2012 at 7:48 PM

    Ha ha! lol. When Liam gets that email he’ll wonder how Borage mananged not to inherit smarts but have smart sperm. Omg! Bruce is sooo cute.

    • thenay83
      October 11, 2012 at 8:05 PM

      He inherit his smarts from Zinnia LOL. Poor little Bruce-Lee. Hopefully his Nanny will come soon.

  2. Jazen
    October 11, 2012 at 8:34 PM

    Bruce is a cutie. Poor baby. Can’t pick your parents and he got a raw deal. At least they gave him good looks.

  3. October 12, 2012 at 9:25 PM

    I found this chapter pretty funny haha! Bruce-Lee is just a cutie, he’s so adorable! He’s going to be quiet the good-looker when he grows up 😉

    New chapter on my blog!

  4. jonso
    October 14, 2012 at 3:37 PM

    Funny how he comes up with new nicknames for the Asian girl every time. 🙂

  5. October 17, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw the infant in his little shirt and hat lmao. Bruce is adorable!

  6. November 21, 2012 at 11:05 AM

    Hahaha the little one is going to be like his daddy. Cute baby.

  7. November 26, 2012 at 12:03 PM

    Congrats on the birth of Borage’s first son but is he sure he wants a 1000 of them? Bruce Lee is a nice name. I hope he Borage grows up a little and is able to give his children the care they need.

    • thenay83
      November 26, 2012 at 2:40 PM

      No no no, not 1000 babies. He wants to be with 1000 ladies. He doesn’t even wants kids lol.

  8. December 30, 2012 at 11:14 PM


  9. August 30, 2013 at 8:19 PM

    Bruce-Lee!! ❤

    • thenay83
      August 30, 2013 at 8:44 PM

      I had to look at this chapter again cause I don’t remember what went on. But LOL, I wish I remember where I got Borage’s shoes from in this chapter. My guys have no shoes :/

      • August 30, 2013 at 8:45 PM

        yeah good shoes are so hard to come by for the guys! :/

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