Love For The Ladies: Chapter 1, Swag On



Hey you sexy ladies. I’m glad to see you came again. I am just that good.. You know! Yes, I just opened with a perverted joke so don’t be a prude. Put out or get out.

I decided to send an email to my deadbeat sperm donor dad. If he wasn’t so busy ho-ing around in Twinbrook, I would become a doctor but instead I want to be a male-whore like daddy. That’s right! I got daddy issues and I’m easy like cherry pie. “Dad, stop dicking chicks and come see my new place.” I sent to my dad along with plane tickets. I made him fly coach since he’s a douche. A strawberry scented douche at that.





A week later my dad shows up and unhappy about flying coach but I didn’t care. You left me with idiots!

“Son, that flight sucked.”

“Oh poor baby, suck a clit!”





“Anyways dad, I invited you here so you could check out my sweet place and spend time with me. Also I want you to teach me your pimp ways.”





“Borage, I think you’re confused. I can assure you that I’m not a pimp. Where did you get that idea from? What have Zinnia been telling you?”




“I google you. You’re like the super PIMP in TB. You got sexy ladies coming and going out your house at all hours of the night. If that doesn’t say PIMP then I don’t know what! You gotta teach me to be a super pimp like you dad. I wanna fuck 1000 ladies while I become a superstar DJ. I can hear all of the ladies screaming, We love BMG! Give us lots of raunchy sex! I can hear it now! Train me to be a pimp! I also want them to bring me money, I’m send them on the corner.”




“I do have ladies come over and stay with me for sometime. They give me children. I am not a pimp by any means.”

“Your hos give you babies instead of money? You’re a horrible pimp.”

“Son, I’m not a pimp. You’re not listening to me. I’m on a quest to have 100 babies.”

“Why the fuck you want 100 spawns of satan?”

“For immortality.”

“Huh? Why don’t you let a vampire suck you off then you’ll be an immortal. I think it would be cool to immortal too. I wanna be Sub Zero or maybe Scorpion. GET OVER HERE!”

“Huh? Son, you’re thinking about Mortal Kombat. But anyways I said immortality. And you don’t turn into vampire by having one giving you oral.”

“Really? So I can let a vampire give me head and I won’t turn into a vampire?”

“Yes, Borage. That’s not how it works.”

“Cool! So like I can make some vamp chick suck me off and I stay a human genie type thingy. Awesome! Let’s go find a vampy real quick!”

“I thought I was here to spend time with you. I’m here to help you get laid?”

“No, no. I got no prob getting the poontang.”



After our awkward chat about him not being the pimp that I thought I gave him the grand tour of my place. Then he got all fatherly and shit.

“Borage, I’m concern about you saying you want to lay 1000 ladies. What if a few of the ladies get pregnant or you catch a STD? Taking care of kids is a huge responsibility. I just hope you know what you’re getting yourself into. Please use condoms if you plan to really do this.”




“Silly dad, were sims. We don’t get STDs unless we download Awesomemod and since they suck at updating, we are STD free. Besides unlike you I plan to pull out and jizz in her hair. Condoms are for nerds. You know that saying, No glove, Get lots of love.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s No glove, No love.”

“Shut up dad! You’re wrong!”



 I decided to show off my DJ skills to my pops. I’m curious if my skills will impress the ladies. I plan to play the most degrading music that will make all of the ladies twerk it and jerk it on the dance.

Just shake that ass bitch and let me see whatcha got
Just shake that ass bitch and let me see whatcha got
Just shake that ass bitch and let me see whatcha got
Just shake that ass bitch and let me see whatcha got



I guess my dad liked my DJ skills cause I saw that he was in touch with his white roots. Dancing badly. Actually I’m not sure what my dad is but I know I’m Colombian and Black and we have better rhythm.




 “You’re pretty good at this DJing stuff, son. The music is kinda degrading towards women but they love dancing to degrading music when they are drunk.”






“Thanks Dad! Wanna give this a try? Let me see what you got, old boner.”




“I don’t know about this. I never tried anything like this before. Do you have any Johnny Cash?”

“No old timey music dad! Ugh you’re so old!”





“Hey, hey, hey! Look at me! I’m a DJ now. Yo LG in the house! I’m about to make ya squeak like a mouse. So ladies shake your butts!”




“Ha ha ha, cool dad but hit sync! You’re train wrecking like fuck! You suck at beat matching!”





After chillin’ with my pops, we called it a night and I relaxed in my fly room. As I lay in bed I was thinking about all the sexy ladies I’ll be bringing back to this bed. I just can’t wait. I think tomorrow night we should go trolling for booty. It’s time to get this party started.





Dad chilled by the pool as he talked on the phone with his kids back home who I will never meet. I probably have 6 billion siblings and will probably get more sister-cousins if he doesn’t leave Rosette alone. I took a dip in the pool and became suddenly hungry. But I can’t after swimming or was it before swimming? Fuck it.. I’m gonna eat after swimming and I hope I don’t die or something. Cause dying sucks.



I used my super magic powers to summon some firecracker shrimp. My dad was impressed by my food summon powers. I hope the ladies will be impressed by my power to give them many orgasms.





“Oh fucking fuck! This fucking shrimp is fucking hot! Fuck, fuck fuck!”





I guess it was too hot for my poor pops as he turned into a fire breathing dragon. Now that’s some spicy shit!

“Yo pops! Does that brings back memories of Rosette?”

“What do you mean?”

“When your mouth caught on fire.”

“I’m not understanding you.”

“Ya know.. After you ate Rosette’s vag. Didn’t your mouth caught on fire? Ya know my aunt has that super ho status!”




“Hey now, that’s just rude to talk about your aunt like that. Now where’s the keys to your car?”





So my dad took my car to chase down the ice cream truck.





What a douche. The shrimp was too spicy for him. Can’t take the heat, then stay out the kitchen and send a woman in there.






Pops and I jetted to the new club in town called The Edge and we were stalked by a badly dressed woman. I told her to go away cause her horrible fashion will scare off all the fine ladies away from our area. She yelled at me in some weird sim lingo and then made out with some guy. She’s on my No Bone list now.  So I challenge old boner to a pool game.




“Okay old boner, let’s play some pool. The loser have to bone that poorly dressed woman who speaks simlish.”

“Okay, fine let’s do this.”





As we played this nice looking Asian join our area.





Pops missed his shot as he was too busy checking Ms China’s nice ass. I can’t blame old boner but there’s no way he’s getting this chick. He has his own town to dick up and this lady is mines! “Fall back wrinkle nuts!” I shouted at my Pops.





“Damn girl, can I dip my eggroll in your sushi box?”





“What? I’m gonna pretend that I didn’t hear that. My name is Sonoko Lee, can I join your game?”






I stood there checking out Yoko’s nice curves. I just wanna toss her on the pool table and give her some of this Montigo-Gelman loving. It’s gonna be hard to finish this game with this lovely lady near by. Really hard.. Rock hard. My dick.





“Fuck yeah you can join our game Yoko and you can ride my train. And what I mean by my train, I’m talking about my dick. Long like a train. I wanna get in your caboose.”






“Um.. okay guy that I just met…..  But my name is Sonoko not Yoko.”





“Okay, whatever Tokyo… I wanna see you play with some balls.”





I watched Tokyo stroked the pool up and down. I’ll tell ya.. I’m jealous of that damn pool stick. That should be my dick that she’s stroking.




“You got some nice stroking moves there. How about after the game you massage my dick? It’s a bit stiff if ya know what I mean.”

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t you Asian ladies love giving happy endings?”

“What the fuck?! That’s hella racist you prick!”

“I’m not racist.. I just want your body against mines.”

“You are a douche!”

“I wanna douche your cooch with my penis.”

“You’re so gross! I need a drink!”




So Yoko left but came back an hour later shit faced like fuck. Then she goes…..

“Hey my husband is such an asshole and I’m drunk and horny as hell! so who ever wins this game gets to take me home!”




With that said the erection in my pants was now at his maximum size. I can feel the crotch of my pants about to rip.

“I gotta win this game! Swag mode on! Me love you long time!”

19 thoughts on “Love For The Ladies: Chapter 1, Swag On

    • LOL nice! Be careful with reading Borage’s story at school. It’s a laugh out loud. I had a hard time typing it cause I kept laughing myself haha

  1. Pingback: Quest for Immortality: Chapter 18 « jbfairybirdsimstories

  2. Reblogged this on Montigo Legacy and commented:

    I was feeling a bit nostalgic seeing how today is the day of the finale. I thought it would be nice to show the first chapter. However I had to relink all of the broken pics in it. But wow… so much as changed since then 😀

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